Story by Ogre at seven am and Mah spoon is too big.
Disclaimer: This is a story I wrote as a joke together with a friend of mine during boring physics classes. It started out as an outrageously exagerated parody of a fanfic but when I translated it I couldn't really get the tone right so it sounds like any other harry/draco fic now and much of the joke is lost. It is however not meant to be taken seriously at any level and people who flame it for such things as OOC and bad plot have obivously not read this and deserve what's comming to them. I do not own Harry Potter and so on and so forth. The names in brackest indicates change of author. Thanks to sliver for beta reading.
(I might Idd that for some strange reason we both got good grades in that class.)
(Ogre)
In the Name of Merlin! That was the last time!" McGonagall shouted. "I'm so incredibly tired of the two of you, you can't even keep peace for ten minutes!"
Harry crouched and felt utterly ridiculous. Partly because of a pair of slouching green antennas that Malfoy's curse had caused, partly because he knew he had let himself get provoked way too easily.
While McGonagall's voice streamed over him, a little distant corner of his mind noticed that this was the first time he'd ever met Malfoy without Crabbe and Goyle. Maybe that was the reason that the argument had blossomed up so fast.
As soon as he had seen Malfoy's cold grey eyes, his blood had started to boil.
Malfoy was standing with his back against the wall and in his pale face was an expression of excitement mingled with horror. His upper lip was slightly drawn back and bared a row of sharp white teeth. He held one hand pressed to the bleeding scrub Harry's curse had caused (It hadn't hit Malfoy directly but instead hit the wall so hard the shards were flying all over the place and one of them had scraped by Malfoy's cheek and forehead.). The other hand was knotted into a fist, tightly held near his thin body.
Why do I notice all these things?, Harry thought confusedly as McGonagall grabbed them roughly by their necks.
Both of them squirmed to get away but the Professor seemed to have an amazing strength in her thin hands.
Eventually she stopped outside an empty classroom and opened the door. With a quick counter curse she removed Harry's antennas before she pushed him into the dark room, she contrasted sharply against the brightly lit corridor.
"Very well", she said with an iron voice. I'll close the door now and I won't let you out until you can, at the very least, keep a civil conversation. Even if it will take all night!" To emphasize her words she pushed Malfoy so hard that he fell against Harry. With a painful nose clash they both lost balance and fell to the floor with Draco on top. They heard the door shut and the lock click.
Draco looked down in Harry's emerald green eyes for a second before he regained balance and scrambled to his feet. He fought down the urge to walk over to the door and see if it was locked. He knew it was. With a furious scream he threw himself at the door, it stood not only against his pathetic attempts but (if doors can do that) it also leered at him. Draco was so enraged that he almost spat. "She can't do this!" he exclaimed to the world in general. "She just did", a calm voice behind him answered. Harry was still sitting on the floor rubbing his nose. Draco just hissed something unintelligible and continued to glare at the door. "I'm surprised that you're not ranting loudly about what your dad will do once he finds out about this..." Draco clenched his teeth and forced his voice to be calm.
( Spoon)
"Right now that won't help very much, will it?", he said, "and incidentally I don't see your sweet parents hurrying to their iccle son's rescue either". He looked at Harry with feigned sorrow. "Oh no", he said maliciously, "they can't because they're dead..." he didn't get much further because Harry had, with a supressed scream, launched himself at him and tried to strangle him.
"I refuse to hear you insulting my parents!" he yelled, his voice swinging up and down in anger.
"Yeah, yeah", Malfoy panted from under Harry's body, who tried, as good as he could manage, to keep him down. "Gerroff me, I've got it!" But Harry wasn't done yet, he grabbed Draco's wrists and locked them above his silvery blonde hair, placing his bony knees on Draco's thighs and hissed, with his face so close to Draco's that he could see all the little tiny specks of silver in his cold eyes: "Don't you ever do it again or you will regret it, even if it's the last thing I do, I swear!"
He released Draco's wrists, putting his hands on Draco's chest and pushed himself up, still shaking with rage.
Draco stumbled onto his feet, confused and nervous. He realised he had gone too far this time, Harry had never reacted like this before. Draco could still feel Harry's bony knees on his thighs and he wondered why he didn't feel disgusted by the green eyes so close to his and the warm weight when he lay under Harry on the floor. After a while later he made another try anyway-
"Umm Potter...", he stuttered, "shouldn't we at least try to have a civil conversation so that we can get out of here?"
Harry, who had been sitting on a desk staring out of the window, turned around and grunted. He contemplated if he still felt like punching Draco's lights out but reached the conclusion that he was happy with having caused nosebleed to Draco's Greek nose. "Well, you're right, I guess", he gave in and jumped down from the desk. "Here", he said reluctantly and handed Draco a paper tissue since his nosebleed didn't seem to stop. Daco accepted it quietly, pressed it against his nose and leaned his head backwards. "I gueth thith ith progreth" Draco said, tissue against his nose, "that we're in the thame room withouth fighting add the timbe"
Harry couldn't help it, he laughed when he heard Draco speak so differently and half choked. Draco grinned back, somewhat embarrassed and removed the tissue. Their anger seemed to have slid of them like a lump of butter on a newly showered goose, no one wanted to fight anymore. "Hey!" Draco hissed suddenly, "Potter, what if McGonagall can hear us somehow?!" Both of them started to look around like Minerva herself could be sitting on one of the bookshelves and see the whole nosebleed incident. "Shock, horror!" Harry exclaimed, "come on", he continued, "say something that sounds like a polite conversation in case she can hear us!" Draco tried but after having talked for a quarter of an hour of the advantages on writing with blue ink instead of green, both of them were so frustrated that they hardly knew their own names.
"I'm not used to being forced to have a polite conversation with you" Malfoy shouted and panged his fist into a shelf and got an entire jar with slimy flourkitgrowlers over his head. "Calm down" Harry muttered and picked up small angry flourkitgrowlers from Draco's ear and put them back into the jar. The gesture had been so obvious that Draco didn't react until he felt Harry's fingers behind his ear and on his neck. He froze and didn't move a muscle, partly because he couldn't, he was paralysed, partly because he didn't want, dear lord, he didn't want Harry to remove his hands.
What's this? He thought dimly as Harry's touch sent shivers down his spine. Harry, in his turn noticed that the situation was getting a little weird first after he'd stopped thinking about what a nice little point Draco's nose ended with. Slightly embarrassed he pulled away and they exchanged a frightened look. Both of them drew breath but didn't dare to say anything. Suddenly they heard a sharp knock on the door and Macgonagals voice which called "Have the two of you've had enough of sitting there yet?"
Malfoy sighed, now he would never know what had been about to happen, he would never get a chance like this again. He was just about to get up and say yes professor when he heard a loud crash. He spun around and saw Harry standing with a broken chair in front of him and a wild look in his eyes.
"Malfoy, you pig, let go of me immediately", Harry yelled and he looked questioningly but at the same time encouraging at him. Draco immediately got the hint and caught on. "Let go yourself, you frogwart!" he yelled just as loudly and kicked at the broken chair in front of Harry. "Well, in that case suit yourselves, I'll let you sit there until tonight then!" Mcgonagal thundered on the other side of the door and walked away. Harry and Draco just stared at each other. Not once had they even touched each other during what McGonagall thought was a fight between them.
Harry was shocked by himself, why had he done that? He didn't have time to think so much more that that before he noticed that Malfoy had moved a couple of steps closer to him. What's going on here, really?, he thought blurredly as Malfoy got closer and closer, blurry like in a mist. Draco reached out his hand, drew his index finger quickly over Harry's bolt scar and let his hand continue through Harry's black hair. "I've always wanted to do that,"he said amazed and blushed like a tomato.
(:Ogre)
"Uh... err... Malfoy.." Harry stuttered, confused and Draco hastily pulled his hand away and put it in his pocket and looked away. Harry felt how a burning blush spread over his face. To get rid of the mist in his head he stumbled over to a water basin in the other end of the classroom. A clear stream of water trickled happily out of the grinning mouth of a gargoyle and down in a verdegris green basin. It was definitely a more fun alternative to a water tap and a sink. Harry took some water on his hands and moistened his face with it. The water was cold and clear and Harry felt refreshed by it. Just as he had shaken the water from his eyes and fringe, he heard a huge splash at his side. Malfoy had taken everything one step further and put all of his silver blond hair in the water. He came up again soaking wet and snorting like a sea monster and when he shook his wet hair thousands of water drops splashed around him. The water sparkled in his hair and eyelashes.
Harry couldn't keep himself from smiling helplessly at him.
"What did you do that for?" he asked Malfoy. "Did what?" Draco replied innocently still with wet tufts of hair hanging down in his eyes. "You got all wet." Harry exclaimed. "Oh come on, don't be such a cat, Potter" Draco smiled and shook his head again so that the water splashed everywhere. Harry howled and tried not to think about have the evening sun shone on Draco's silvery beauty and soaked him on liquid gold. Purely by reflex he splashed water back on Draco and soon the waterfight was a fact. Harry was soaked through and Draco was more or less soaked trough when they stopped. "See, a little water won't make you melt" Darco smirked.
Harry felt how his wet robe clung to his body and was prepared to doubt it. He shivered promptly. Draco smirked again. Suddenly Harry saw something that he'd never thought about before. Fascinated he leaned closer. "You... you've got freckles!" he gasped and leaned even closer to study the tiny golden specks on Dracos face. To his surprise he found something soft pressed against his mouth and realised a second later that it had to be Draco Malfoy's mouth and that it was the most awesome kiss in his entire life.
(Spoon)
Draco's lips were soft as clouds and Harry thought he was sailing his way through warm red mists. He was cold and hot at the same time and thought for a moment that his legs would buckle underneath him. He could feel Draco's soft fingers in his neck and cupped his hands round Draco's face. Draco in his turn thought that he was dreaming. He had forgotten the whole world, the only thing that existed was Harry.
He pushed him against the water basin and let his hands slide along the back of Harry's wet robe. Then it was as if Harry suddenly regained consciousness, he gasped for breath and violently pushed Draco off.
"W... we can't do this." he gasped in shock with the black unruly and wet. Draco stood half crouching, with one hand on the water basin, breathing hard as if he had been running. His eyes were burning and his teeth were bared. "Why not?" he croaked and regained balance. "B... Because... we can't, I cant..." Harry said in panic as Draco crept closer like a stalking predator. "You could a minute ago...", he hissed hoarsely. Harry froze and stared at Malfoy's face, which now was right in front of him. He raised his hand to fend off Draco but the motion only made their self-control burst. With a half chocked sob, Harry threw himself in Draco's arms and bit down on his shoulder. Draco wrestled him down on the desk and started to tear at Harry's wet robe to get it off. He was both shocked and scared, this was the first time he had ever lost control like this.
(Ogre)
Harry clung harder to Draco, who now more or less desperately tore at Harry's shirt. Harry's hands tried, wholly on their own account to undo Draco's fly but the result wasn't that good since his brain had forgotten everything about the rudimentar functions of the fly. He whimpered disappointedly when Draco for a moment removed his divine mouth from Harry's but calmed down when he realised that it was only to stop the futile attempts on removing Harry's clothing and spend some more energy on actually undoing the shirt buttons. Draco gave up an delighted yelp when he succeeded in baring one of Harry's collarbones and then bit down on Harry's throat in a way that made Harry forget everything he had ever thought that wasn't about Draco's tongue.
A sound at the door made the boys spring apart. Wet and ruffled with dishevelled clothes they stood, staring at the door. It sounded as if someone was tampering with the lock and spent some considerable amount of time on cursing while somebody else (who sounded a whole lot cooler and calmer) gave good advice and support. With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Harry realised who they were.
"Ron and Hermione" he mouthed to Draco. Draco's eyes grew wide with fear.
"Harry? Harry?" Hermione said outside the door "Professor Mcgonagal says that you've been in there long enough and that you can come out now but the spell she's given us doesn't seem to work properly..."
Harry didn't hear more that that because Draco had pulled him close in a long searing kiss. "Well, babe "he whispered hoarsely in Harry's ear after what Harry thought was a way too short time "seems like we have to be decent from now on..."
(Spoon)
"Mm-hm" Harry hummed agreeingly while his hand snuck under Draco's shirt and scratched him lightly on the back. Draco shivered.
"I guess that's best" he said and started, all over again to molest Harry's shirt buttons carefully. A sharp knocking by the door made them both wake up from the trance they had fallen in. "Harry!" said Hermione, "Why aren't you answering?"
Harry untangled himself from Draco and started to correct his clothes. "Yes, we're in here. Hurry up!" he said turned to the door. Draco growled disappointedly and started, with some difficulty to button up his fly.
"It's just that he's a tad busy at the moment", Draco whispered and nibbled at Harry's earlobe. Harry moaned faintly...