Alrighty, here's a wonderful angsty Kyou/shounen-ai Furuba fic! Wheee!

Poor Kyou-Kun, he's all depressed. It's not fair I know. And things will only get worse for our little kitty cat from here on. But there will be some people to pull him out of the gutter, eventually. Eventually. Major Kyou angst is fun!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Warnings: Chapter Rating - PG-13. Major Kyou angst in this chapter, and language

Pairings: To be decided.

Song Selection: Billy Talent - River Below

( xxxx )

Chapter one: river below

/rejected since day one
my name is, Bastard Son/

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Always so fucking stupid.

That may be the definition of the cat, but I've never let it get to me. Not for a while at least. But I think it finally might have. I've finally gotten sick of the constant rejection, the mockery, the hatred. I think it was bound to happen eventually. I was eventually going to give up my stupid feud against Yuki, accept my loss. It's just a shame I was too stupid to realize it earlier, and maybe waste my time some other way. Of course, I'm always wasting my time, one way or another, or wasting something precious. For an example, hot water. And my clothes.

I stood in the shower, still entirely clothed, boiling hot water pouring down on my shaking body. My head was rested against the shower tile, directly under the hot stream coming from the showerhead. I could care less about the temperature; my mind was too busy wandering. It was only when Tohru called for me, obviously worried, that I was dragged unwillingly back into reality.

I nearly jumped out of my soaked pants. My clothes were welded to my flesh like a second skin, nearly transparent and extremely hard to move in. I stumbled, falling backwards and knocking Tohru's shaving razor off of the shelf, leaving a huge gash on the back of my hand. Tohru wasn't usually the type to leave her things out. Maybe it was some sort of omen?

I pulled my hand back to my body, reflexively, at the sting and shock of the sharp metal tearing through flesh. I brought the hand up to my eyes, looking the bleeding wound over with morbid fascination. It hurt. But I liked to see myself bleed. I cautiously picked the razor blade off of the floor, where a slight puddle of blood had formed, and brought it to my wrist. I had heard of other kids at my school cutting themselves like this, they were usually depressed or strange. I think I qualified for both.

With one quick movement, there was another bleeding cut on my wrist identical to the one on the back of my hand. I laughed to myself, sliding down the tiled side of the shower. If Yuki saw this he'd think I'd sunk to a new level of pathetic. I have.

I sat in the shower for a little while longer, careful not to get the blood onto my clothes or Tohru would question. Fuck, she'd already question, my clothes were soaked. What could I tell her, that my room started to rain? That would be beyond dumb. To in-dumbity and beyond!

Reminder to self: Never make up words again.

After a few minutes I managed to bandage my wrist and my hand (I didn't exactly want anyone to see) and make my way back into my room. I simply tossed my soaked clothes on the floor, not giving a rat's ass at this point, and slipped on some khakis and a long-sleeved, zip-up sweater. I headed downstairs after that, expecting Tohru to come over to me and wonder why I had taken so long. It must have been over an hour or so since I fell into the shower. Really, I fell.

Tohru and Yuki were sitting in the dining room, chatting about casual things. School, friends and whatever else popped into their minds. Yuki didn't even acknowledge my presence as I trudged by the door, but Tohru gave me her usual smile and a little 'Hello, Kyou-kun.' I half wondered where Shigure was, but remembered that he was usually cooped up in his study, writing or whatever. Not that I cared at Shigure at all.

I kept walking, until eventually coming to the door and going outside. The night was glimmering with stars, and the moon was sending an eerie shadow down onto my sanctuary; the roof.

I quickly made my way onto the place I spent most of my time. I don't even know why. I guess cats like high places. Once onto the slanted platform, the usual feeling of shingles on my back, I pulled back the arm of my sweater to look at the bandages. I took off the bandages to get a look at my handiwork from earlier. Only then did I realize how shallow the cuts were. Guess I'm not much of a cutter. Ah, well, it's not that big of a deal. That was a one time thing.

Right?

/contraption
made of bones
nuts and bolts
creates them
you monster
brought your family tree down
tick tocking
times up now
split second
though it fell
lonely hearts
never had nobody/