Sonic Syndrome
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.
Welcome to my first full-fledged Sonic fic! In this story, I move into the Sonic residence and torment the living crap out of everyone there. Also, because Kinetikai is my best friend, there will be a lot of Death Bologna references. Anyways, there's a lot to do so let's get started. Here's episode numero uno!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 1
Meet Metal Sonic EX
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - It's a peaceful day at the Sonic residence. All is fine and happy.
(The camera moves to the inside of the house. Sonic and Shadow are playing Sonic Adventure 2: Battle. Tails is reading a book at a little table in the corner and Amy is sunbathing on the patio next to him. Cream and Cheese walk into the kitchen and disappear from view.)
Narrator - Yes sir. All is well. But even now, a dark cloud is creeping into their future…
Sonic - Do me a favor.
Shadow - Yeah.
Sonic Stop winning!
Shadow - But that takes the fun out of it.
(Cream screams.)
Sonic - Tails, go check that would you?
(Tails rolls his eyes and walks into the kitchen. He screams and walks out with a note.)
Tails - What's this?
(Tails hands Sonic a note and Shadow glances over at it. It reads 'Tell group about MSX'.)
Sonic - Dunno.
Shadow - Oh yeah. That's mine. He's moving in.
(Everyone freezes and the sliding glass door cracks.)
Sonic - Dude, that's like, inviting the Devil over for an eternal visit or something.
Shadow - His house burnt down and he's got no place to go.
Sonic - He probably burnt it down in the first place.
Muffled Voice - How'd you guess?
(All eyes turn towards the door.)
Muffled Voice - Oh, give me a second.
(A head smashes through the door. It is a robotic hedgehog's head that highly resembles Metal Sonic. It is black with silver streaks on his head. Sharp, pointed teeth line its' mouth and it actually moves when it talks.)
Robotic Hedgehog - Heeeere's Johnny!
(Everyone remains silent.)
Sonic - Hi. We were just talking about you.
M(etal) S(onic) (E)X - Really? Oh, where are my manners.
(MSX pulls his head out of the door and it magically repairs itself with the click of his middle finger and thumb.)
(A.N. If you haven't guessed, I've going to refer to myself in the third person. Don't be bugged by it, I just feel like doing it like that.)
(The doorbell rings, then an axe is taken to the door three times before MSX sticks his head back through the door.)
MSX - Heeeere's Johnny!
Sonic - Hi. Hey. How ya doing?
(Sonic and Shadow go back to playing SA2 Battle.)
MSX - So rude. I'll have to fix that.
(MSX pulls his head out of the door and walks through it. He has silver streaks running along his arms and legs as well. A cloth similar to the Sonic Heroes Metal Sonic flaps behind his waist. He carries two suitcases and looks towards Tails and Cream.)
MSX - You there! Worthless Sega creations! Come and carry my bags!
Tails - We're not slaves and you're not a slave driver. (gets whipped) OW!
MSX - (is suddenly dressed as slave owner) I am now. Now get these here bags to my room 'fore I whip ya 'gain!
(Tails grumbles and picks up one of the suitcases. Cream picks up the other one. Together, they begin to walk up the stairs.)
Sonic - That was somewhat amusing.
MSX - (goes back to normal) I know. But don't get me wrong! The only Sonic-type characters I don't like are Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic.
Sonic - You've got to admit. He is pretty cool though.
MSX - Yes, he is. But this is the fanfic world. And in this world, I loath him. Speaking of loathing, I feel like being malevolent. (Snaps middle finger and thumb again)
(A cry is heard and Tails falls down the stairs. Just before he gets up, the suitcase lands on top of him.)
MSX - I thought I told ya to get that bag to my room! How many times am I gonna hafta whip ya in order to get ya to listen?
(Tails grumbles again and begins climbing the stairs again.)
Shadow - What's with the fingers?
MSX - In the fanfic world, that's how I use my author powers. Observe. (snaps fingers)
(Amy, who is still sunbathing, suddenly lights on fire and disintegrates.)
Sonic - Woohoo!
MSX - Oh, that makes you happy does it? In that case… (snaps fingers three times)
(Three Amy Clones pop up around Sonic.)
Sonic - AGH!
Amy Clones -Come Sonic. Marry us. Marry us. Marry…
Sonic - Make it stop!
(The clones disappear and a rather sunburnt one reappears.)
Amy - What just happened?
Sonic - I glimpsed into hell itself.
MSX - Guess what? You're still in it! (laughs demonically)
Amy - What's he doing here? Visiting? Stopping by?
MSX - Moving in.
Amy - (screams) Run away! (runs through glass door)
Shadow - You're mean.
MSX - I'm not mean. I'm evil. From here on, my life will be 100 dedicated to torturing Sonic in any way possible.
Sonic - I thought you liked me though.
MSX - I do. But I like Shadow better.
(Sonic gapes as Shadow high-fives MSX.)
Sonic - You traitor!
(Tails and Cream walk back down.)
Tails - Anything else, my liege?
MSX - Yes, where is the nearest mode of transportation?
Shadow - That would be my van.
MSX - Then come, my minions. We shall travel to the IHOP to celebrate my coming!
Sonic - Why the IHOP?
MSX - They've got an all-you-can-eat special going on. Now move it!
Narrator - Minutes later…
Sonic - Should we be letting MSX drive?
MSX - Are you kidding? (laughs) Of course not! (swerves onto sidewalk) Twenty points for every pedestrian we hit!
Narrator - Several more minutes later…
MSX - Spoilsport.
Shadow - (is driving) Thanks for nearly getting me arrested.
MSX - My apologies.
Amy - Is he gone? (pokes head out of the far back seat)
MSX - (turns around) Is who gone?
Amy - (screams and retreats back into her hiding place)
MSX - I'm so lonely…
(Shadow slows down as they approach a red light. MSX turns and looks out of the window. His eyes shrink before becoming crimson.)
MSX - Wait here. (undoes seatbelt)
Shadow - What are you doing?
MSX - (opens door) Just wait here.
(MSX walks over to car where a man is talking on the cell-phone. He punches through the window and yanks him out of the car.)
Man - Holy…
MSX - Hang up the phone.
Man - Bite me!
MSX - (does so) Anything else?
Man - (now bleeding from arm) Psycho!
MSX - No, you're the psycho. Talking on a phone while driving. You kind of people make me sick and your kind usually winds up dead. So let me give you a head start.
(MSX slams the man onto the back of the car and grabs his underwear. He begins stretching it back abnormally far.)
MSX - Say hello to the slingshot to Heaven!
(MSX lets go and the man is sling-shotted into the sky. He disappears into the clouds. The phone falls into his hand.)
Man On Phone - Hello? Can you hear me now?
MSX - Yes. But in your case, that's a bad thing. (snaps fingers)
(The sound of a fire being started and the man's screams are heard on the other end.)
MSX - Save it until later next time. (hangs up)
(MSX returns to the van and shuts the door.)
MSX - Let this be a lesson to you. (fastens seatbelt) If you're on my nice list, you're golden. But if you're on my bad list, you'll wish you'd never been born. Understand?
(Flames surround MSX and Shadow scoffs.)
Shadow - Not the seats!
(The flames disappear, but the burnt seats remain.)
MSX - Sorry.
Narrator - Once at the IHOP…
Cream - Can you please pass the syrup?
Sonic - (scarfing down pancakes) Silence you!
MSX (also scarfing down pancakes) That's my job! Silence you! (throws syrup at Cream)
Amy - Hey, you're robotic! You don't eat.
MSX - (pauses) Yes, I do. Watch.
(MSX takes a stack of pancakes and everyone stops eating to watch. MSX opens a panel in his chest and puts the pancakes in it. He closes and begins to vibrate. Seconds pass and a bell is heard.)
Robotic Voice - Food digested.
MSX - See?
Amy - Weird…
Shadow - Yeah… Speaking of which, how is that guy you shot into Heaven?
MSX - I dunno. I'm sure he's fine though.
Narrator - Elsewhere…
(The camera shifts to a busy intersection. A slight scream is heard and it gradually grows louder until the man falls into the back of a semi truck.)
Man - My back! Ow, my… Hey! Taquitos! Mmmm…
Narrator - Back at the IHOP…
MSX - See? He's fine. His back's broken, but he's got a ton of taquitos.
Cream - What are taquitos?
MSX - They're Mexican fruit roll-ups.
Tails - No, they're not!
MSX - Shh! It's my brainwashing process! You'll screw it up!
Tails - Whatever…
Narrator - A half-hour later…
(MSX is playing Shadow in Sonic Adventure 2: Battle. Unlike last time, Shadow is losing. Horribly.)
Shadow - Argh! I thought you hated Metal Sonic!
MSX - I do! But he's my best character. He's got no specials, but he's got excellent acceleration.
(The doorbell rings.)
Tails - Yes? Oh thank you.
MSX - Are you serious?
(As Tails accepts a package, MSX storms up to the postal worker.)
MSX - Swift and efficient service, my blue-plated posterior! I went to McDonalds, had four and a half heart attacks, was in a coma for a year, and even managed to create world peace! All of this while I waited for you to arrive! IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT!
(The postal worker freaks and runs.)
MSX - Yes, run you jelly roll! Run like the wind 'cause next time I need a package delivered, I'll call Fed-Ex! (slams the door shut) Well, I'm glad that's over.
Tails - You're weird.
MSX - Get used to it. You're stuck with me now.
Tails - Whatever… So, what's this?
MSX - A little something I got Sonic… Three years ago…
Sonic - Really? Sweet! Tails, open it!
Tails - Um, are you sure it's not a trick?
Sonic - Shut up and open it! I want my present!
(Tails rolls his eyes and begins to unwrap it. Before it's fully unwrapped, a boxing glove on a spring breaks loose and punches Tails in the face, knocking him out.)
MSX - Oh darn. Looks like Tails got your present instead. Oh well…
Shadow - You're, like, a freak.
MSX - (smiles) I know. But I'm a freak who lives with you. (frowns again) Now get used to it. I'll be here for a while. Speaking of which… Hey, Cream! PUNT!
(Cream runs around the corner and is immediately kicked through the roof and into the sky.)
Sonic - What was that for?
MSX - No reason. I've decided I don't like Cream that much either. But I like her better than Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic…
Sonic - So, why'd you do that?
MSX - Dunno. But she'll be back.
Shadow - When?
MSX - In the next episode.
Amy - So, when's this one going to end?
MSX - Right now.
Amy - Right now?
MSX - Right now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tune in next time when MSX becomes the figure of evil itself. Literally. So, Read and Review and I'll continue!