Asking Me Why
Author: Lisa
Status: Completely Ficlet
Summary: Written for Round 2 Challenge 2 at btvsats20 (Andrew). What Haunts Your Nightmares?
Disclaimer: BtVS is owned by Joss Whedon and ME
Distribution: Please do not take without asking for permission first.
I can't sleep; the blanket keeps irrating my swimmer's itch. I roll outta bed grab my camera and sneak out to the backyard. I set the camera up, take a deep breath and hit play.
"I needed to get this off my chest. It was an epic moment for me. I'm the character that is seeking his redemption from his past transgressions. It's very dark and mysterious almost with a broody undertone, not suitable for teenyboppers." I pause a beat. "But I can't story tell my way outta this one. Most nights I can twist the story to justify my actions. I was cornered between two worlds. Reality had slipped from my grasp and I was under Warren's spell. He was a strong sorcerer and I was but a feeble apprentice of magic, but that wouldn't be real. You'd think the lies would keep me awake but it's the truth that haunts me. It's the reality that I spin to tell a Steven Spielberg type heroic movie that scares me. I'm a murderer and no amount of tears will redeem that. The Slayer doesn't keep me around because I'm useful I'm just easier to control in close proximity. I'll never be a part of the inner group." I laugh at the irony. "I joined Warren and Jonathan in hopes that I'd be noticed by The Legendary Slayer. That we'd develop the kind of relationship that Q and Picard have, someone who I could try my latest spells on to amuse myself. Now I'll never have that. I'll just have Jonathan's tear stained face asking me 'why?'."