Title: Her Little Game
Character: Lou Fa
Word Count: 311
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Notes: Written for DGM-Fuh-Q, and in anticipation of the Third Reverse Novel (which I am now reading intently). Hope you enjoy :)
Perhaps one day this yearning will be over. She will gather the courage to say "I like you", this irrational thing which she didn't prepare for at all. This irrational thing that she didn't expect when she peered over Rikei's shoulder and searched for the first Exorcist she had ever encountered.
Perhaps one day this waiting will be over. She will climb the ranks of the Order, her best friends Rikei and Shifu by her side. They will enter the Headquarters and be worked to the bone, but everyday she will smile because she is one step closer. One step closer to what, she couldn't say, but perhaps –
Perhaps one day he will see her. Not just quickly or politely, but really see her. He will know her likes and dislikes and she will know his. He will think of her when he travels, she will think of him as they argue ceaselessly over the best material to use for the new uniforms.
Perhaps one day it will all stop. This flush she awakens with, shame-faced and uncomfortably warm, that unspoken taboo ingrained deep in the family. The desire to speak with someone who knows, someone who won't laugh. The desire to stop feeling less alone in her little corner of the world.
Perhaps one day she will belong. A title for her, wife of a man she loves, mother of happy children. An ordinary woman in every sense, not one of many Scientists but one of many happy women around the world.
Perhaps one day she will awaken. From this dream of a perfect life, a perfect man, and she will realize and recognize that she knows, since a long time ago, how she's using him, how she doesn't love him, how empty her desires are.
Perhaps one day it will end. Her little game of make-up, dreaming and pretence.