She watched him over and over like a broken film strip.
"Bye, 'Londa"
"Luke?"
"Yes?" he stuck his head in the doorway,"I've got to run"
"Bye" Yolanda smirked, looking up from the box she was unpacking.
She played the laugh for as long as she could. She kept his laugh until she couldn't remeber it. She kept his laugh till all she knew was the sound of her tears.
She watched him over and over until the picture started to fade.
***********
You've found hope
You've found faith,
Found how fast she could take it away.
Found true love,
Lost your heart.
Now you don't know who you are.
***********
"Have you talked to your sister?"
Alex looked up sleepily from the cup of coffee his aunt had placed in front of him."I haven't"
"You should" Bibi wiped her hands on the dishtowel, "Alex?" she stood in front of her nephew, touching the side of his face,"Alex, baby"
He looked up, his eyes glazed.
"Soon mijo, soon" she rubbed his hands.
"Soon" Alex muttered.
********
********
Quiet meant there was time to think. Think about everything.
Yolanda fingered the bridal magazines, the pictures piled next to the pile.
"All this..." he smirked, a hand on his hip,"This really is your day"
"Our day" Yolanda corrected, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear,"This is going to be our day"
Luke grinned.
"And you're so damn proud of yourself, aren't you?"
He nodded, laughing.
Quiet meant remebering.
She fingered the hem of the dress she had laid out on the couch. The shoes lay at the end of the piece of lone furniture.
She could touch the spots where she had stained the silk, burying her face in the creamy white folds.
"You going to be here all day?" Luke rattled the car keys in his hand,"I'm going to the store"
"Hmm?"
He laughed loudly,"Yo, I'm going to the store"
"Uh-huh"
The memories were flooding together, bits and pieces. But she always remebered the backside of him, could perfectly picture him as he was leaving.
She could only clearly see him leaving.
"Luke! Luke.." Yolanda called,"Hey Luke!"
She sat perfectly still, she could feel the car motor in her veins. She could feel him driving away.
********
She made it easy,
Made it free,
Made you hurt til you couldn't see.
Sometimes it stops,
Sometimes it flows,
But baby that is how love goes.
********
He watched his older sonn get things in order, call his siblings from their roomms.
Roberto reached out, dusting imaginary lint from Alex's suit collar."You look nice"
He looked up, silently acknowledging his dad.
"Dad? Ruben's in the car.Whenever you guys are ready.." Miguel stopped, watching his brother almost run from the house to the safety of his own car."He's gonna be alright"
Roberto reached out, straightening the collar of his older son's suit jacket.
"We've got to go, Dad" he touched his father's arm,"Funeral starts in half an hour"
****
****
The dress lay folded on top of the box. The box that Yolanda had refused to move,but had kicked violently after her family had let her go home after that night.
"Where?"
"Here!"
"Where? Yolanda!"
"I said right here, Luke" she tapped his arm, pointing to the corner of his room.
She lay the cream shoes on top of the dress, now piled with the photos. She closed the albums, turned the frames upside down.
It seemed wrong to stare at his smile. It wouldn't bring him back, no matter how much she wished and cried.
She turned the top frame over, focusing her eyes on her own grinning face.
He rested his arms around her waist, his chin on her shoulder."This is it"
"You make it sound like a prision sentence"
"No, no, this is what I wanted" he answered.
Yolanda rested her hands over his."Good"
Luke leaned over and kissed her cheek,"Right, good"
Remebering wouldn't bring him back, Tears just felt empty now.
*******
You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall
*******
He pulled into the front of the apartment. He'd left before everyone else, now he was there by himself.
And scared.
He was scared to face his sister. Afarid, because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't give her the answers he knew she wanted.
And she'd want answers.
Alex gripped the steering wheel as the horn made him jump.
"Hey man" Carlos pulled up beside him,"You going in?"
******
******
She was sick of the broken glass, sick of everyone tip-toeing around her. She was sick of everyone just looking, waiting for her to break.
And she was tired.
Yolanda pulled her hair into a tight bun, touching her face. There was shadows under her eyes, lines embedded in her forehead.
"You look beautiful" he pulled the necklace around her neck, and let it fall as he clasped it shut.
Yolanda held the beads to her neck,"I'm scared"
"Of what?" Luke brushed her hair back over her neck.
"Of the world" she answered, looking at herself in the mirror."I'm afarid of the world"
"You've got me" he stood beside her in the mirror, straightening his tie,"I'm not going anywhere"
Yolanda didn't smile.
*******
It's a secret no one tells;
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell.
It's no fairy tale;
Take it from me,
That's the way it's supposed to be.
*******
"Hi" Alex darted his eyes, jumping back when Yolanda answered the door.
"Hey" she answered quietly.
He tucked his hands in his suit jacket, studying the carpet under his feet, the carpet of the hallway.
"You can come in Alex.I just have to get a few things" she swung the door open softly, and patted back to the room,"I'll be a minute"
From the window,Alex could watched his family arrive. He could see Roberto loosen his tie in the driver's seat, watch Miguel whisper something to their aunt.
He could hear her sobs from the other room.
"Yolanda?" Alex gritted his teeth when she didn't answer."Yolanda..everyone's here" the bedroom door had been left open a crack, and he could see his sister clutching something to her chest, sinking to the floor.
"Why? Why Alex, why?" she sobbed, black tears racing down her cheeks.
It was the questions he was afarid of."I don't know" Alex sat down on the floor with her, circling her in his arms,"I don't know. But it happened to the wrong man"
She let him cup his hand around her head, holding her to his chest as she cried.
"I don't know. And I'm sorry Yo, I am"
*************
You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.
Even angels fall
Even angels fall
"Bye, 'Londa"
"Luke?"
"Yes?" he stuck his head in the doorway,"I've got to run"
"Bye" Yolanda smirked, looking up from the box she was unpacking.
She played the laugh for as long as she could. She kept his laugh until she couldn't remeber it. She kept his laugh till all she knew was the sound of her tears.
She watched him over and over until the picture started to fade.
***********
You've found hope
You've found faith,
Found how fast she could take it away.
Found true love,
Lost your heart.
Now you don't know who you are.
***********
"Have you talked to your sister?"
Alex looked up sleepily from the cup of coffee his aunt had placed in front of him."I haven't"
"You should" Bibi wiped her hands on the dishtowel, "Alex?" she stood in front of her nephew, touching the side of his face,"Alex, baby"
He looked up, his eyes glazed.
"Soon mijo, soon" she rubbed his hands.
"Soon" Alex muttered.
********
********
Quiet meant there was time to think. Think about everything.
Yolanda fingered the bridal magazines, the pictures piled next to the pile.
"All this..." he smirked, a hand on his hip,"This really is your day"
"Our day" Yolanda corrected, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear,"This is going to be our day"
Luke grinned.
"And you're so damn proud of yourself, aren't you?"
He nodded, laughing.
Quiet meant remebering.
She fingered the hem of the dress she had laid out on the couch. The shoes lay at the end of the piece of lone furniture.
She could touch the spots where she had stained the silk, burying her face in the creamy white folds.
"You going to be here all day?" Luke rattled the car keys in his hand,"I'm going to the store"
"Hmm?"
He laughed loudly,"Yo, I'm going to the store"
"Uh-huh"
The memories were flooding together, bits and pieces. But she always remebered the backside of him, could perfectly picture him as he was leaving.
She could only clearly see him leaving.
"Luke! Luke.." Yolanda called,"Hey Luke!"
She sat perfectly still, she could feel the car motor in her veins. She could feel him driving away.
********
She made it easy,
Made it free,
Made you hurt til you couldn't see.
Sometimes it stops,
Sometimes it flows,
But baby that is how love goes.
********
He watched his older sonn get things in order, call his siblings from their roomms.
Roberto reached out, dusting imaginary lint from Alex's suit collar."You look nice"
He looked up, silently acknowledging his dad.
"Dad? Ruben's in the car.Whenever you guys are ready.." Miguel stopped, watching his brother almost run from the house to the safety of his own car."He's gonna be alright"
Roberto reached out, straightening the collar of his older son's suit jacket.
"We've got to go, Dad" he touched his father's arm,"Funeral starts in half an hour"
****
****
The dress lay folded on top of the box. The box that Yolanda had refused to move,but had kicked violently after her family had let her go home after that night.
"Where?"
"Here!"
"Where? Yolanda!"
"I said right here, Luke" she tapped his arm, pointing to the corner of his room.
She lay the cream shoes on top of the dress, now piled with the photos. She closed the albums, turned the frames upside down.
It seemed wrong to stare at his smile. It wouldn't bring him back, no matter how much she wished and cried.
She turned the top frame over, focusing her eyes on her own grinning face.
He rested his arms around her waist, his chin on her shoulder."This is it"
"You make it sound like a prision sentence"
"No, no, this is what I wanted" he answered.
Yolanda rested her hands over his."Good"
Luke leaned over and kissed her cheek,"Right, good"
Remebering wouldn't bring him back, Tears just felt empty now.
*******
You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall
*******
He pulled into the front of the apartment. He'd left before everyone else, now he was there by himself.
And scared.
He was scared to face his sister. Afarid, because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't give her the answers he knew she wanted.
And she'd want answers.
Alex gripped the steering wheel as the horn made him jump.
"Hey man" Carlos pulled up beside him,"You going in?"
******
******
She was sick of the broken glass, sick of everyone tip-toeing around her. She was sick of everyone just looking, waiting for her to break.
And she was tired.
Yolanda pulled her hair into a tight bun, touching her face. There was shadows under her eyes, lines embedded in her forehead.
"You look beautiful" he pulled the necklace around her neck, and let it fall as he clasped it shut.
Yolanda held the beads to her neck,"I'm scared"
"Of what?" Luke brushed her hair back over her neck.
"Of the world" she answered, looking at herself in the mirror."I'm afarid of the world"
"You've got me" he stood beside her in the mirror, straightening his tie,"I'm not going anywhere"
Yolanda didn't smile.
*******
It's a secret no one tells;
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell.
It's no fairy tale;
Take it from me,
That's the way it's supposed to be.
*******
"Hi" Alex darted his eyes, jumping back when Yolanda answered the door.
"Hey" she answered quietly.
He tucked his hands in his suit jacket, studying the carpet under his feet, the carpet of the hallway.
"You can come in Alex.I just have to get a few things" she swung the door open softly, and patted back to the room,"I'll be a minute"
From the window,Alex could watched his family arrive. He could see Roberto loosen his tie in the driver's seat, watch Miguel whisper something to their aunt.
He could hear her sobs from the other room.
"Yolanda?" Alex gritted his teeth when she didn't answer."Yolanda..everyone's here" the bedroom door had been left open a crack, and he could see his sister clutching something to her chest, sinking to the floor.
"Why? Why Alex, why?" she sobbed, black tears racing down her cheeks.
It was the questions he was afarid of."I don't know" Alex sat down on the floor with her, circling her in his arms,"I don't know. But it happened to the wrong man"
She let him cup his hand around her head, holding her to his chest as she cried.
"I don't know. And I'm sorry Yo, I am"
*************
You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.
Even angels fall
Even angels fall