DISCLAIMER: The characters in this story are NOT real life people. This story is entirely fictional (hence the name fanFICTION.)

This is a story that features romantic scenes between two males. If you can't handle m/m love, I suggest you don't read this story…If you have a real opinion, such as something you might change about the story, or the format I have this story in, please feel free to leave me a comment. If all you have to say is rude, bashful remarks, then keep them to yourself, because I could care less what you think about that. Remember what your mother used to tell you: If you don't have something nice (remember, it can be critical at the same time) to say, DON'T SAY IT!

NOTE: At the present time, this story is incomplete. I will be updating it pretty regularly as I finish my original draft of the story, and I make revisions to it.

This is my very first fiction that I've written, so leave some reviews (but try not to be too harsh)! Thanks all!

Shando-Titan

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 1: AFTERMATH

I awoke to the sound of my alarm buzzing in my ear. 'Why must you torment me every day?' I thought to myself as I rolled over and shut off the noisy contraption that is, unfortunately, an unwanted sign of yet another day. I rolled over once more, and breathed a heavy sigh as I stared at the empty space on the other side of my bed. Another lonely day…

As I reached for my wallet on the end table, I glanced at the clock. 7:17 A.M. Slowly, almost reluctantly, I finished getting myself dressed. I moved precisely like a machine, without emotion, through the rest of my newfound morning routine. While juggling my early morning activities, the phone rang. I decided to let the call go to the answering machine. If it's important enough for him or her to call me at 7:30 in the morning, he or she can leave a message.

I hear the answering machine click on. "Hey, you've reached Jeremy and Alex." I stopped cold. "We're either not here, or we don't want to pick up the phone. So if you leave a message, we just might get back to you." After the beep – "Hey, it's Sarah. I haven't seen or heard from you in awhile, so I thought I'd call you. Listen, Jamie and I were thinking about going out to lunch today, and I thought you might want to come? From background SARAH! – I'm coming Jamie! I gotta go, but uh, let me know okay? Bye Jeremy!" Beep

I still stood in the same place shocked, as if I had been shot. 'I've been called plenty of times since it happened. It's been two months! Why had it never bothered me until now? Why haven't I changed the message yet, if it's having that much of an effect on me?' I slowly approach the machine. As I look down to delete the message, another shockwave pulses through my body. This time it happened as I saw a picture of Alex. I could hardly breathe. Today, the memories of my husband were enclosed around me, and it all overwhelmed me.

As I looked, I say my ring next to the picture. I had not worn my wedding ring since the day of the funeral; it was just too painful. I didn't want to be reminded of the few weeks that had seemed like an eternity that he was in the hospital, dying that much more with each passing day of internal bleeding from his mountain biking accident. Worse yet, I couldn't stand the dreaded thought of not being able to do anything to save his life. I had a feeling of remorse just then: 'I owe it to the man I love with all of my heart, for so long, to at least wear this symbol of my devotion,' I thought. Hesitantly, I slid the ring onto my finger.

As time went on, I continued to stare at the picture. Oh god, how I missed him…I felt the moisture well up in the back of my eyes, yearning to be released. My heart sank further as I realized that I was holding the first picture I had ever taken of him after we were together, all of those years ago…It was help within a cheap frame, and the glass was dusty. I remember on countless occasions how he thought it was tacky, and how he asked me why I still held onto it. I always just laughed at him, but he knew how priceless it was to me. As with Alex himself, this picture meant everything to me.

Upon further inspection of the picture, I noticed something in the bottom right corner of the frame. 'A note?' I thought to myself. I didn't remember ever placing a note within the picture frame. I carefully turned it over, and removed the back panel to reveal the carefully folded note, tucked in the corner of the frame. I unraveled the note, and read the words quickly written upon the piece of notebook paper:

"Te amo más que lo que amo la propia vida, Tú eres mi mundo, Espero cada día con ansiedad para poder verte. Te extrañaré más de lo que piensas en lo que estoy fueras.Estarás en mi corazón y en mis sueños. El dolor de estar lejos sólo hará que nuestro amor crezca y se haga más fuerte. Sueño con el día en que nos volvamos una y compartamos nuestros pensamientos, cuerpos y almas. Eres un sueño hecho realidad bebe. Nosotras compartimos un sueño de dos."

I sank to the floor, my head and my hands. My love, my best friend, my companion, the most important person in the world to me…all of them gone. Tears started flowing freely from my eyes. I lost all control of myself. "Why didn't I save him?" I repeated to myself, sobbing. I stayed in that saddened state for a long while. I lost all track of time as I read the note over and over again, branding its message into my mind. Oh, how I would give anything to have him back!

In one last desperate cry, my intuition told me to remember all of the good times in our relationship, over the past eleven years. My heart longed for happy memories. I began to recall those memories, and played them over in my mind. 'I remember,' I thought to myself. I remember…