**Author's Notes…This is my first attempt at a song based story. I just heard this song and I fell in love with it and then it made me think of Ranger and Steph, so I figured I'd give it a try. Just borrowing the characters from JE and the song is by Ed Sheeren. I'm not sure about this one, should I continue it or just call it good? Happy Valentine's Day to all my fellow Babes, hope you enjoy.**
It's Valentine's Day, a day for lovers and romance, and what was I doing to celebrate? I was sitting on my beat up, secondhand couch watching a Valentine's Day cupcake special on the Food Network, alone. I sighed, the alone part shouldn't really surprise me. I've been dating a Trenton police officer named Joe Morelli on and off for the last five years and never, not once, has he been in town for Valentine's Day. I was pretty sure he did it on purpose.
He did send me the standard dozen yellow roses that came every year with a similar note attached, this years was so romantic, "Have a good one, Joe". Okay, so the man didn't have a romantic bone in his body. Still, it would have been nice just to have him on the couch next to me, to share a pizza and a beer, and maybe some Valentine's Day sex, but no, he said something came up at work and he'd be gone about a week. So here I was, thirty-six years old and I've never had Valentine's Day sex, and the prospect of that ever happening was looking grimmer and grimmer. Hell, at this point I'd settle for a kiss.
I trudged to the kitchen and opened the fridge, it was emptier than I remembered. There was nothing but moldy Kraft singles, how old do those have to be before they mold? I slammed the fridge, pulled on my torn winter coat, grabbed my handbag with the broken buckle, and picked up my keys with half a keychain attached.
Fifteen minutes later I pulled my POS green Sunbird to the curb in front of Pino's. I pulled the key from the ignition and the car gave a great groan and shook before turning off. I rolled my eyes at it. Why was everything in my life half broken?
Inside Pino's happy couples and families gathered around the tables, sharing their pizzas. I sighed again as I grabbed my sad little to go box and headed home to eat it, alone. I don't know why I did it, maybe I was just being pathetic because I was so lonely, but at the last minute I turned off and drove past Joe's house. The thing was, his lights were on and his SUV was in the driveway. I also wasn't sure why I decided to look in the window, but I was sure it had something to do with him lying about being out of town tonight.
Inside he was just sitting on the couch with his dog, Bob, watching something on his TV and eating his own pizza. Now I could have just knocked on the door and asked him what the hell was going on, but instead I got back into my car and drove home. It didn't need explanation, he'd rather spend the night alone than with me. Maybe occasional sex and hockey games was really the best I could hope for in a relationship. Not that I wanted a commitment and marriage and all that, but I was still a woman. I wanted love and romance and sparks. Clearly, Joe was never going to be the man to give me those things.
I wondered if it was just time to pull the plug on this thing with Joe. We were stuck in a weird relationship that wasn't going anywhere and was half broken like everything else I owned. I loved him and he loved me, but it wasn't that powerful, passionate love you see in movies or read about in books. It was more the kind you see on Dr. Phil. We had issues, ones we ignored and hid behind sex. I sighed as I dropped my pizza box onto the coffee table and popped the top on the can of coke.
As I curled up on my couch again. My eyes settled on the second bouquet of flowers that sat on my counter. It was a big bunch of daisies from my friend Diesel. He'd sent them every year since our fake wedding. The card attached this year said, "Listen to your heart, it knows what you want, Love Diesel." I smiled as I thought about the big goofy guy, I could really use him now. He was always a good listener and cuddled well, but I couldn't call him. He was probably doing something with his girlfriend anyway. Besides Diesel wasn't what my heart wanted.
What my heart wanted was mysteriously missing this year. The one man I had always felt that passionate, electricity filled heat with. The one man that I loved with my entire heart. The one man that I wanted to hold me on this cold night. The problem was I was certain it was one sided, especially now.
I usually got one, single, perfect, long stem, red rose delivered to me, but this year it never came. The sender, Ranger Manoso, was also mysteriously missing from my life. I hadn't spoken to him in close to a month. I wasn't even sure if he was in town. I admit I don't like to think about how long it had been since he'd called or stopped by, because it hurt. I wondered if I'd finally pushed him away for good or if he decided I wasn't worth his time or if he found someone else that wasn't so complicated.
I wasn't sure what I wanted from Ranger. That wasn't exactly true. I wanted him to let me in and tell me he wanted to have a relationship with me, but that wouldn't be Ranger. No, Ranger lived a dark, mysterious life and didn't let anyone in as far as I knew. He told me he loved me, but he couldn't do a relationship with me. His life didn't allow such a thing. It made me wonder if his life were different if he'd want me. I hoped he would, someday.
I sighed as I opened my pizza box. I rolled my eyes as I looked at the heart shaped pizza. I just couldn't get away from this holiday. I pulled a slice out of my pizza and looked at the incomplete heart. Then I laughed sadly, without Ranger my heart felt like it had a slice missing too.
After I finished stuffing myself full of cheese and sausage, I got into my pajamas. I pulled the quilt and pillow off my bed and curled up on the couch to watch My Bloody Valentine. I finally smiled, I might be alone this year, but at least, for once, there were no killers after me.
I was starting to doze just after midnight when I heard someone rattle my door knob. I got up from the couch and tiptoed to the kitchen for a weapon. I heard keys fall, hit the ground, and someone curse, "Fuck. Shit." I laughed and put my gun down when I recognized the voice. This was followed by a few little moans and grunts. Then I heard a little knock on the door. I opened the door to find Ranger standing in front of me, holding a big bouquet of red roses.
I looked down at the ground and saw a set of keys lying at his feet. "I dropped my keys," he said slowly. I watched him sway on his feet a little.
I bent to pick them up and looked at the familiar cut of the keys, "Are these for my apartment?"
"Duh," he said walking past me. I shut the door and flipped the lock and deadbolt, and stared at his back. Did he just say, duh? "I can keep them, right?"
"I don't see why not," I told him, as I took the keys and dropped them on the counter next to my own. I was sure he probably had more than one set anyway. "Are the flowers for me?"
He smiled then, enough to light up his entire face. "Yes," he said excitedly as he held them out and bounced on his toes a little. "I was going to come earlier, but they wouldn't let me leave right away." I know I made a face at him. What the hell was happening? I didn't know anyone that could stop Ranger from doing what he wanted to do. "I told Cal that I had to come here. I had to make sure you got these flowers or you'd forget that I love you."
I just blinked at him. I wondered if this was some sort of joke, this wasn't my Ranger. My Ranger didn't smile, and giggle, or knock on my door, or volunteer information before I asked a question. My Ranger was quiet, and cool, and picked locks and entered buildings without permission, and kept every detail and thought he had a secret. He was Batman, not whatever this was. I was completely baffled by this. "Um, well, they're beautiful," I answered.
He handed me the flowers and kissed my cheek. "You didn't forget that I love you, did you?"
I just blinked at him for a moment. "No, I didn't forget." Now the thing about Ranger was, he did tell me he loved me often enough, but after he said it to me it was usually followed by an offer to have sex or to tell me that it wasn't the kind of love that was going to go anywhere, like down the aisle. This was just weird. I was still confused, but I took the flowers into the kitchen and put them on the counter next to the others. "Thank you, Ranger. I'm glad that you thought of me."
"I never stop thinking about you," he said with a big smile. "You think of me too, don't you, Babe?"
"Of course I do," I agreed. He moved toward me until we were standing chest to chest, then he leaned into me and pressed his lips to mine for a little peck of a kiss.
"Good," he said happily when he moved a step back from me. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Um, Happy Valentine's Day, Ranger," I said back. I stood there too stunned to offer him a drink like a good Burg hostess should. Everything was wrong with this Ranger, even the kiss he'd just given me was wrong. He didn't press me into the wall or trap me against the counter, his tongue didn't explore my mouth, and my panties didn't go up in flames. It was just a nice, sweet kiss that felt like he just meant to show me he loved me and strangely enough, it made my heart beat a little faster.
He started to stagger into the living room, so I followed. Was he drunk? He certainly wasn't moving with his normal, panther-like grace. He was kind of wobbling and dragging his feet and swaying. That would make sense. I'd never seen him drunk before. It wasn't something he did, he liked to be in control of himself at all times. I smiled, now I knew why. He lost control of his mouth when he was under the influence. I stopped watching him try to walk when my phone rang. "Hello?"
"Steph?" a male voice asked. "It's Cal."
"Oh, hey, what's going on?" I asked and I meant more than just the phone call.
"Listen," he said before he took a deep breath. "Um, I'm down in the parking lot and I'll stay until morning in case there are any problems, but he wouldn't stay in the hospital and he wouldn't go home. He said he needed to get you those flowers."
Hospital? "What the hell happened?"
"He's alright, a mild concussion, some bruised ribs, and some stitches in the shoulder," Cal answered. "He doesn't do very well with pain killers and they gave him an injection before we left the hospital. He's going to be out of for a while."
"Oh," I said looking over at Ranger. He was standing in front of the couch still swaying on his feet.
"Get him to bed and keep him there for the next day or two," Cal said again.
"Here?"
"Yeah, if he goes home he'll go back to work too soon. I'm sure you can think of a way to keep him in your bed," he said with a little laugh. "Call me if you need anything."
He hung up. Crap. I looked over at the man I loved and wondered what had happened to him tonight. "Ranger?" He looked over at me and smiled again. He looked so dopey I almost laughed. "I'm tired. Do you want to go to bed?"
"That's an offer I'd never refuse, Babe," he answered with what I think was supposed to be his wolf grin, but it somehow came up crooked and silly looking.
I laughed and shook my head. I wasn't sure what to do with this Ranger. "Come here," I told him as I held out my hand. I took him into the bedroom and closed my eyes as I opened his belt and unbuttoned his pants. I shimmed them down to his knees before I helped him sit on the edge of the bed. I figured with bruised ribs he couldn't bend, that was probably why he hadn't pick the keys off the ground earlier. I untied his boots and pulled them off, then pulled his pants down and slipped them over his feet.
"My socks too," he mumbled. "Only wearing socks isn't sexy."
I looked at the black socks on his bare legs and laughed. "I don't know. If anyone can pull off the sock only look, it's you," I told him as I squeezed his calf. He did have really nice legs, so muscular and strong and covered in that smooth mocha latte skin. Yum.
"Babe," he said laughing at me, but I complied and pulled off his socks too. The thing about Ranger is that he has a perfect body, everywhere, even his feet were sexy, for feet. "I think I need help with the shirt too," he finally said pulling me from my inspection of his lower limbs. I nodded before crawling closer to him. I knelt between his legs and unbuttoned all the buttons on his shirt before I pushed it open. I sucked in my breath when I saw the three large purple bruises on his beautiful chest.
I hadn't let myself think about how he had been hurt. I didn't like to think about him being in danger, but now I was looking it straight in the face, so to speak. He'd been shot, four times. I felt tears in the corners of my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall. Not right now. Not while he was watching me. I lightly touched one of them with my fingertips before I leaned closer and kissed the center of the bruise. "Babe," he whispered as his fingers moved into my curls. "I love you so much."
"I know," I whispered back to him. I also knew he was higher than a kite right now and I couldn't take what he was saying too seriously. I moved closer so I could wrap my arms around him and lay my head against his chest. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the sound of his heart beating against my ear. "I love you too, Ranger," I whispered. He tilted my face up toward his and kissed me again. This time it wasn't so chaste, his tongue slipped between my lips coaxing me to return the gesture. Even though it lasted long enough that my knees were sore from my position on the floor, the kiss never turned sexual. It felt more like we both needed to be loved and show our love in that moment.
I broke away, before I allowed myself to get carried away. I didn't want to hurt him or take advantage of his fragile state. So I stood and helped him take the shirt off his arms. Then I turned him and settled him back onto the pillow. I looked down into his face, trying to ignore the huge bandage over his left shoulder. I wanted to ask how it happened, but I wasn't sure I was ready to hear the details yet. He was my superhero, he wasn't supposed to get hurt. I didn't want to admit he was just a man, who could be hurt the same as the rest of us.
I returned to the living room, turned off the TV, and collected my pillow and quilt from the couch. When I returned to the bedroom he was just looking at me. I pulled the sheet and blanket up over him, before tucking the quilt around him. I crawled in the other side of the bed and settled on my side so I could look at him. "You never said that to me before," he said quietly.
"What?"
"That you love me," he said.
I crawled closer until my head was on his good shoulder and I could breathe in the scent of the warm skin on his neck. "I'm sorry that I haven't said it before," I whispered to him. "I've been in love with you for a long time."
"When I was shot tonight I thought one of the bullets pierced the vest for a few minutes. All I could think about was you," he told me. I moved my hand over his heart where the darkest of the bruises was visible, just where the sheet stopped covering him. "I didn't want to leave you."
"I don't want you to leave me either," I whispered back to him. Just his strong heartbeat under my fingertips made me feel better. Thank God he was wearing a vest. I'd come close to losing him forever. I knew I didn't want to come that close ever again. "We have each other right now." I leaned over and kissed him again. His right hand came up behind me and pulled my face closer as he deepened the kiss. Even beat up and drugged the man could make my toes curl. I pulled back enough to look into his eyes.
He stared back at me. "I tried to stay away from you, you know?"
No, I didn't know. "Why?" I asked. Maybe it was wrong of me to ask him about his feelings when he was like this, but when else would he answer me. Like I said, Ranger keeps his secrets buried deep and that included what he really thought of me.
"It'll hurt too much when you leave me for Morelli," he told me.
I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. I knew there was a good shot he'd never remember this conversation anyway. "I'm never going to leave you for Morelli. You're what my heart wants."
His fingers traced the side of my face before he pulled me back down to him and kissed me again. Then he looked kind of thoughtful before he spoke again. "I don't want to get shot and killed some night and leave you and our kids alone. I have to be able to walk away from field work before I can marry you."
"You thought about marrying me?" I asked him.
He smiled at me then. "Yes." He just looked into my eyes, but he seemed to be having a problem focusing. "I quit taking federal jobs and stopped bounty hunting so I'd be safer, but I can't get out of the field with my work at RangeMan."
I could tell he was getting tired. I knew I should stop talking so he could sleep. "You're planning to quit working in the field? Someday?" I asked him.
He nodded, "That's been the plan since the first time I held you in my arms."
I just stared down at him. The man I loved so much was finally making sense and it only took an injection of narcotics. "I wish you would have told me that then. You know I'd wait forever for you," I whispered back to him before I kissed him again.
His good arm moved over my back, touching me gently as our lips moved together. I didn't want to stop, but I knew I had to, he needed his rest. "I hope that's true. You don't know me yet, but I'll tell you all my secrets in the morning," he told me.
"You should get some sleep," I answered. I couldn't think about what would happen when he woke in the morning. I kissed his lips again, before kissing each of his bruises. "I love you, Ranger."
"I love you too, Steph. Will you hold me?" His eyes were fluttering shut.
"For as long as you allow me," I answered. I settled back down into the crook of his arm, lying on his shoulder I wrapped my arm and leg around him, holding him against my body. I pressed my lips against his warm neck.
"Forever," he answered. Then he was out like a light.
I laid there listening to his breathing, feeling his heart beat against my own. I wasn't sure what we'd do from here, but right now, right here, this felt like falling in love.
Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran
Settle down with me
Cover me up
Cuddle me in
Lie down with me
And hold me in your arms
And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet
And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now
Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love
Settle down with me
And I'll be your safety
You'll be my lady
I was made to keep your body warm
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms
Oh no
My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed in my neck
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet
And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now
Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love
Yeah, I've been feeling everything from hate to love from love to lust
From lust to truth I guess that's how I know you
So I hold you close to help you give it up
So kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love
Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love