HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!

Turn On The Lights

Chapter One: To A Stranger

Helga sat on her tiny bed, momentarily alone. She flipped idly through a photo album, inspecting the pictures inside. She frowned slightly at every scowling picture of her, her hideous unibrow taunting her now. How she had ever gone on so long with it was a mystery to her. She slammed the album shut and stood before the full length mirror hanging on her closet door. Today was Friday, the day before winter break started. She had to look her best for the occasion. Usually she wouldn't, no, couldn't give two shits about looking good to impress her classmates, but today was no ordinary day. Today there was a winter pageant, basically a talent show, and she would be a reading a poem for her classmates. She wanted to blow them out of the water.

So there she stood in her underthings, trying to imagine what Rhonda would make her wear. She wanted to look cool but still not freeze her ass off. She pulled on some pure black skinny jeans and a pink and grey baseball shirt. She stared at her long wavy hair; it was half way down her back now. She pulled her hair into her classic pigtails, but lowered now towards the base of her head. She took out her flat iron and styled her bangs into a nice swoop and pinned them back. She threw on some grey knee high converse, grabbed a thick coat, and headed downstairs.

"Mirium! I'm going to school!" She shouted.

"Okay, Mees Pataki, okay!" A tiny, older woman answered as she appeared at the foot of the stairs. Mr. Simmons had threatened to call DSS one year when he saw Helga open a lunch box featuring such delicatessants as: packing peanuts, toothpaste, ham slices, and stale crackers. Big Bob, fearing bad publicity for his growing company, immediately hired Helga a nanny. This nanny's name was Mirium, which Helga found endlessly amusing. Mirium was a kind older woman, very grandmotherly, and spoke with a thick accent. Whenever Big Bob was out on his work related travels, this was the only time Mirium felt comfortable enough to speak freely. She often told Helga dramatic stories of adventure attempting to leave her homeland of Cuba and getting to the United States. Helga's wellness in the home had increased tenfold since her appearance there as Mirium actually packed healthy lunches, helped with homework, and spent time with her. Of course, as Helga was now eighteen and a senior in high school, Mirium remained as more of a maid and secretary.

"I'm late Mirium, no need for breakfast." Helga waved off the hot plate Mirium was attempting to hand her.

"Ah, this is no problem. This then." She handed Helga a Tupperware container with sections, eggs, toast, fruit, and cookies. Helga stared in awe, as always, surprised by Mirium's thoughtfulness on this day. She truly went beyond "maid" standards. She was sweet and caring, which always and forever touched Helga's heart.

"Mirium." Helga paused to catch the knot in her throat. Mirium smiled softly.

"Thank you." Helga hugged the short woman, planted a kiss on her cheek, and flew out the door to catch the bus.

HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!

Helga barely made it. She didn't care. This was her system. Wake up after slamming the snooze button three times, shower like a mad woman, blow dry her hair, put on the clothes Rhonda made her buy, pull her hair back, scarf down food, and almost miss the bus. It was a perfect system. She felt more rested than all the other girls on the bus, especially Rhonda.

She snuggled down comfortably into her seat, kicking her feet up and popping open her to-go breakfast. Just as she started shoveling some into her mouth, someone tried to push past her legs.

"Excuse me Helga." She glared up at the intruder on tradition.

Arnold, of course. Instantly she felt light-headed.

Arnold had gotten more handsome, if at all possible. Helga had remained stubbornly tall as a teenager, at least a good head over most of the girls in her class, but Arnold had somehow managed to one up her. He had also gotten into the swim team in high school, so he had that tall, broad shoulders, lean body thing going for him. He was still beautifully tanned with cornflower yellow hair. She realized she'd been staring way too long with her mouth open and her fork dangling two inches away.

"No, excuse you Arnoldo." She strained her leg muscles to keep him from pushing past her to the empty seat that belonged to Phoebe.

"How long have we known each other?" She demanded, pointing rudely into his face. Arnold sighed, his body jolting forward as the bus started up again.

"Since kindergarten, but-"

"So who's sat next to me on the bus for the better part of twelve years?" Helga interrupted.

"Phoebe but-"

"But nothing, football head! Tradition is tradition, my friend. Ain't no arguing with that." She settled back down in her seat without looking at him.

"But Helga, there's literally no seats except for the one next to Eugene. And not even I can take it anymore." He pleaded.

Eugene retched somewhere in the background.

"I'm okay!" He called out pathetically.

"Yeah ya are." Helga smirked in response.

"Please Helga! Please?" Arnold begged. Helga could no longer resist. In her mind, she had held out long enough to make passerby believe she truly did not want him sitting next to her.

"Fine, free country football head." She sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest to let him pass. He brushed past her legs, sending tingles down her entire body.

"Ahem." She cleared her throat loudly. Arnold gave her a look as he sat down. Couldn't he tell that he made her girlhood crazy?

"Where's your book-bag at?" He asked innocently. Always so innocent.

"I left that sucker at home, where it belongs. Last day, Arnoldo. Ain't no body got time for that." She said smirking.

"Oh yeah, duh. So I guess you're all prepared for the winter pageant then?" He said.

"Yep, got that baby right up here in the old ticker." She tapped her temple and winked at him.

"That's great, Helga. I can't wait to hear it then." He smiled. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him but before she could question him, the bus stopped at Phoebe's stop.

"Shh football head!" She climbed on him, leaning on his odd head to press her face against the foggy glass. She didn't see her best friend outside.

The bus started moving again. She pouted and stopped crushing Arnold.

"Where's Phoebe?" She said quietly. Arnold shrugged but she ignored him, whipping out her phone to text Phoebe.

Where u b ho?

Helga, you know how I feel about such texting lingo.

Helga rolled her eyes.

I soz. Where are you?

Gerald is driving me to school in his new car. I think he wanted to show it off to me but we've been stuck in morning traffic for an hour. lol

Oh, that's cool.

I'm sorry. Did I not tell you?

No worries, I know you get…distracted.

Helga! (#^.^#)

LULZ No worries, ice cream took your spot so I am gooooood. ;)

Cute. ;)

"So where's Phoebe?" Arnold asked. Helga jumped, feeling guilty as she realized "ice cream" was sitting two feet away.

"She's riding with tall hair boy in his new car. The genius was trying to show it off by driving her to school at seven in the morning. We probably won't see them until after break." She laughed.

"I guess we're on our own then." Arnold said.

"Yeah, I guess so." Helga mused. Since high school began and breasts blossomed, the four of them had become inseparable. Since Helga and Phoebe were inseparable, and Gerald and Arnold were too, the group came together naturally when Gerald finally asked Phoebe out. They had classes' together, lunches together, and after school activities. It was them, the four amigos. As of late though, Phoebe had been ditching Helga with Arnold at the last minute almost purposely. She really hoped not. She wasn't completely blind to the fact that Arnold was talking to Lila lately. Thankfully there was no time for things to get awkward on their own as the bus was pulling up in front of their school.

"Let me walk you to your locker, Helga." Arnold said as they stood to join the crowd of kids also trying to get off the bus.

"Why Arnold? So I can put all books from my book-bag in there?" She laughed and shoved Eugene out of her way. She heard Arnold trip behind her and his hand shot out to grab her shoulder for support. She sighed happily.

"Well how about I walk you to class then? I don't really know what to do with myself since Gerald's ditched me last minute." He said to her back.

"So otherwise you wouldn't be walking me to class? Oh Arnold, you really know how to make a girl feel special." She teased as they stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"That's not what I meant." He blustered, clearly embarrassed.

"Don't even worry about it, football head. I have to head to the drama department so we can get ready for the pageant. But really, your offer was just gallant." She said sarcastically. She saluted him mockingly and turned on a heel to walk off without him.

Not that she wouldn't be more than willing to have Arnold walk her anywhere in the building, but probably not as a last resort since his best friend was AWOL. Sometimes she wondered if he wasn't an idiot after all.

HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!

"Welcome, stage players!" Miss Florencio announced dramatically as all the pageant participants filed into the cramped room behind the theatre hall's stage.

"I hope you are all as excited as I am for today's pageant. I truly believe it's going to be quite a spectacle. Now, I just need you all to line up accordingly and we can get this show on the road!" She said happily, clasping her hands together. Helga walked up behind Lila and Rhonda, as they were the act that went before her in the show.

"Hello there, Helga. You sure look punk rocker chick in that outfit." Rhonda fawned, baiting Helga for compliments.

"Well, I do suppose it's because of you, oh helpful fashionista." Helga said in a fake baby voice. Rhonda smiled happily.

"And hello as well to you, Helga. I'm ever so excited to hear your poem. It's very lovely and rhyming. It does put the picture of romance in my mind." Lila cooed in her sickeningly sweet voice. Helga forced a smile. For Arnold, she thought.

"Lila, you are just ever so kind. I'm excited to see your and Rhonda's dance too. I know you both have practiced for weeks on it." She willed it from within herself to fake this kindness to Lila. Lila smiled happily.

"That is ever so sweet of you Helga. I, and I'm sure Rhonda, truly appreciate your kind words of encouragement." She said. Rhonda gave Helga a look and Helga shrugged, smirking slightly. She found it endlessly hilarious that everyone else saw through her act with Lila except Lila and Arnold. But that was okay, because those were the only two people she was trying to fool with it.

"Alrighty then stage players! The audience has arrived and is settled, surely with bated breath in expectation for our show. So please, line up at the door. One act will go on stage, the second act will wait in the wings, and the others acts will wait in a neat and orderly line right here in this room. Any questions?" Miss Florencio asked enthusiastically. Everyone murmured nervously.

"No? Alright! On with the show!" She cried.

A girl named Alice was the first act with her trained dog. After her was a boy named Derek, who knew how to dance and fight with a bow staff. After him was Lila and Rhonda, doing a singing duet paired with a choreographed ballet dance. Helga stood nervously in the wing with Miss Florencio, watching the two girls flit about the stage in costume.

Helga was beginning to feel her nerves fray. She had read poems she'd written many times in front of her classmates, whether it be at the coco hut, drama readings, or poetry readings. However, she had never read one of her poems about Arnold or love. This time, she had decided to do so. Helga had given up a long time ago on managing to get Arnold to love her back. However, that didn't dissipate the inspiration or love in her heart. It was their last year together before the looming college years. She wanted to get her feelings out there, no matter how anonymously it may be this way.

Even though she had decided her fate over a month ago, now as she stood on the threshold of admitting her passionate secret, or at least part of it, her stomach was rolling. The muscles in her arms and abdomen literally felt like rubber bands stretched past the point of snapping.

"Helga, are you ready?" Miss Florencio asked. She held out a hand to Helga while gesturing towards the stage. Lila flitted past them and the cement in Helga's veins unclogged. Her lungs filled with air again.

"Yes, I suppose I am." She said. Miss Florencio beamed at her and held the curtain back. Helga walked past her, feeling like a passenger in her own body. Before she knew it, she was standing at the microphone, the theatre lights blocking her sight of the audience. As far as she was concerned, she was alone.

She was standing in the shadows, hidden behind a corner, speaking her truths of love to no one and everyone. She grabbed the stand roughly, pulling the mic to her mouth.

"This poem is called, To A Stranger, by Helga G. Pataki." She said. It was deathly silent in the hall. She took a deep breath.

"Passing stranger!" Her voice boomed into the emptiness. She heard a gasp but ignored it. She continued.

"You do not know how longingly I look upon you,

You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me, as if a dream)

I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,

All is recall'd as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,

You grew up with me, were a boy with me, or a girl with me,

I ate with you, and slept with you – your body has become not yours only, nor left my body

mine

only,

You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass-you take of my beard,

breast,

hands, in return,"

She paused as an idiot snickered, but continued softly now, mournfully.

"I am not to speak to you-I am to think of you when I sit alone, or wake at night, alone,

I am to wait-I do not doubt I am to meet you again,

I am to see to it that I do not lose you."

She ended dramatically, hanging her head to signal the end of her poem. The audience clapped and Gerald could be heard wolf-whistling.

"I don't get it." Harold said loudly. Helga laughed as she bowed and left the stage.

"What a beautiful poem, so eloquently put and moving. Very sweet and yet, sad. I loved it." Phoebe clapped, smiling brightly.

"Yeah, I didn't get it but I'd rather Helga get all that pent up negative energy out this way." Gerald laughed and whistled loudly again.

"Who was that poem about, Phoebe?" Arnold asked. He had heard some of her poems before at the coco hut but none as forward as this last one. She was clearly trying to get a message out to someone in the audience.

"Arnold, I don't know." Phoebe blushed. "That's not the point. It's not about who the stranger is, it's about the message she wants to get across."

"Was the message, "Be sad as hell?"" Gerald asked and snickered. Phoebe shot him a look.

"Try to have a romantic bone in your body?" She squeaked in her mad voice. She glared at him until he put up his hands in surrender still grinning. She looked back at Arnold and continued.

"It's about loving someone so deeply, so thoroughly, that the two people become so intertwined that the sense of self ends. You can't tell where the other begins and where you end. He and she become one and the definitions of the words become lost. Your love joins you into one. But you wouldn't understand things like that, would you Gerald?" Phoebe turned up her nose and crossed her arms. Gerald rolled his eyes and slouched down into his seat.

"So who's the only person Helga doesn't talk to?" Arnold said curiously, ignoring his feuding friends as he sat up in his seat to survey the theatre hall. Phoebe scoffed and grabbed his arm to pull him back down.

"Don't be so literal Arnold. It doesn't mean she literally never talks to the stranger, it just means she never says what she actually wants to say to him." She paused, giving a shuddering sigh. "I love you, of course."

"Oh." He said vaguely. He pondered this piece of information as the next act came on stage. Rough and tough Helga, queen of bullies, was head over heels for someone, by the sound of it, from their childhood class. Somewhere out there, some guy had inspired the vengeful woman to drop old Betsy and the five avengers and write poetry and get weak at the knees. He couldn't resist. He had to figure out this out of character secret. He had to know who could soften her this way. But who? Harold? No way, she hated his guts. Brainy? But why would she be so angsty about a guy who clearly liked her? Gerald? He glanced over at his best friend who had won Phoebe over again and was having her canoodle into his shoulder. No way, Phoebe seemed to know who the passing stranger was. Stinky? He paused on that one. They did date for a while there last year but she had dumped him.

He shook his head. He'd figure it out yet.