Me and my friend are bored so we made up this Beautiful Maximum Ride Story! This is completely a parody and we are just making fun of the characters. No insults to anybody.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride :(

I throw my jacket angrily on the couch. I collapse onto the beaten furniture and beat my fists into the pillows, kicking up my feet and screaming in rage.

"Max?" a tentative voice whispers behind me.

"Hey, don't," another voice says. "This happens all the time. You should know not to talk to her when she's… like this."

My blood pumps in anger. I pick myself up off the couch and attempt to put my never-washed hair behind my ears and out of my face. I give my best death glare to Iggy and Fang.

"Are you talking about me?" I snarl.

"No," they smile and turn around and head back into the kitchen. I hear Iggy mutter "All I did was say she looked good in that jacket."

Nobody understands me. I'm, like, the deepest person in the world and they don't understand my deepness. Fang sometimes does, but he's really socially awkward. So, of course, Dr. Hunthergunthablagan had to create my "perfect half."

"Sup," says Dylan as he saunters into the room. We just can't get rid of him, so Fang constantly gives him death threats. I think Nudge has a crush on him, though. I can hear her giggling hysterically in the background.

"Max," he exclaims. "What's wrong?" He sits down on the couch and puts his arm around me. His turquoise eyes pierce into my unbarfed-chocolate ones.

"Like, nobody understands me," I sniff.

"Max, you know that I completely understand you. I can see into your soul, and it's beautiful to me. I love you. I want to have babies with you." He then proceeds to make out with me.

"Yuck," says Angel in my head.

I pry away from him and start running in circles, screaming hysterically. "I HAVE TO BE WITH FANG! FAX FOREVER!" I then jump through a window and cry in a tree for three hours.

Meanwhile…

Fang stared at the wall, lost in thought. Next to him, Iggy and Gazzy were building bombs at the kitchen table. He had heard Max scream and fly off into the distance. He knew that Dylan had pulled another move on Max, and he was infuriated. He ran through death scenes in his head, looking for the best way to get rid of Dylan once and for all. Let's see… he could turn Dylan into a chicken, and then the Flock could eat him for dinner. Or maybe he could get Iggy and Gazzy to put a bomb in his bed.

He sighed dramatically. He knew that he couldn't kill Dylan. Psycho Max would have a major mental breakdown. He stopped pondering when Iggy screamed in his ear.

"HEY FANG! LOOK WHAT WE MADE!" He showed Fang a smooth, heart-shaped rock with the word, "Peace" engraved on it.

"Erm, what is it?" Fang asked.

"It's a paperweight bomb!" said Gazzy. "You know… if a member of the Flock, erm, every betrayed us." He glanced over at Angel, who was cutting off Barbie heads with knives. "We could give it as a gift, or hide it somewhere, and then… BOOM!"

"You, me, and Gazzy are the only sane ones in this place," Iggy stated. "We'd never betray each other.