A/N:
Just to warn you potential readers, this was written just after I kind of had an emotional breakdown. See, I'm going into my senior year, and while I'm looking forward to that, I am NOT looking forward to what happens after.
Because, as you probably don't know, I am a triplet, and I don't know if I'll be able to handle leaving my sisters. The emotional breakdown was me crying silently into my hands while I contemplated not having my two best friends in the whole wide world, people I can go to with anything and who accept me unconditionally, living a staircase away from me.
I thought that I was ready for college, that all I wanted to do was start living my life and start my career and someday get married and have five kids. And yes, I am looking forward to that, but I am not ready for the separation. Not at all. And that is what inspired this drabble. It's Kurt just because that's what I started writing.
Also, it is horrible. Basically, just a bunch of word vomit that spewed from my fingertips as I tried to sort out my emotions. But boy, was it therapeutic to write. Good lord.
This, Kurt had to admit, was ridiculous.
He'd just been up late at night, on facebook and such, when something in one of Finn's statuses had made him stop and think that in a little over a year, he would be far away from this place, this familiar place with its people who loved him and understood him and he would be alone. Alone in a big, fast-moving city with no Mercedes to laugh with, no Rachel to lovingly fight with, no Finn to tease and mess with while secretly reveling in their new found brotherhood. There would only be new people who didn't get him, didn't understand that in the mornings the only thing that would keep him from murder was a fresh cup of coffee, one spoonful of sugar, no milk (Finn had memorized that in the first week of their parents' marriage).
The new friends he met would never compare with the ones he would be leaving behind, and suddenly, Kurt just couldn't bear the thought of it. His eyes were burning and suddenly his cheeks were wet and what the hell. He knew, deep down, that he was being illogical and crying silently into his hands would not solve one thing, especially since it was still summer and senior year hadn't even started yet, goddammit.
He wished time could stop. He wished, for one psychotic moment, that he could stay in high school forever. Because suddenly he felt just so damn young and scared and not ready to be the adult that he would be in a year. He wanted to stay at home, with his father and Carole and Finn, just stay in this protected, safe environment and stay loved and stay the same for all eternity.
But he couldn't, could he? Real life just didn't work that way. And he'd dealt with enough of real life to know that the rest of the world wouldn't care if he was ready for it, he'd have to face it one way or another. Hopefully he could keep his head up when he did.
A/N: Yeah. Don't mind me, just baring my soul to the internet here… I have officially gone crazy. I'm sorry.