Fifth Year at Hogwarts –
Chapter One – The perfect prefect
Hello, my name is Jonny Swift. That's Jonny. Not John, Not Jonathan (unless your my mum) it's just Jonny. I'm 15 years old and currently waiting to enter my fifth year at no other than Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. How exciting? Well not really the excitement pretty much disappears after the third year. Funnily enough that's around the time puberty starts – anyway – as I said I'm Jonny. I'm the eldest of four.
The next eldest are twins. Nathan and Louise (Lou as we call her). They are 14 and entering their fourth year. Our dad was called Ray Bonnie and he died in the Battle of Hogwarts fighting for what was right and good. It was tough on me, Louise and Nathan growing up without a father but we learnt that you can find father figures elsewhere. My mother, a muggle born, re-married to my father's best friend Gregory Swift. Hence the last name Swift. I thought of keeping my dad's name but "Jonny Bonnie" sounds stupid. My mother (real name Anne) and Gregory had another child, now aged 11 and starting his first year at Hoggies. He's called Daniel
My mother was a muggle born and had been captured by Death Eaters during the second wizarding war and we didn't see her again until it was over; instead we were put safely in the hands of our muggle grandparents until the end of the war. You-know-who could have found us but he had a lighting scared teen to kill so, you know priorities and that. My best friend in the world was Teddy Lupin. He was in the same year and dorm as me in Hogwarts. Gryffindor. Best house going and if little Daniel doesn't get in he's being left in the forbidden forest by me personally
Well, I say Teddy is my best friend; he's not really that honour goes to Danielle Parker. We met in the first year after she annoyed me in Charms and I set the feather she was levitating on fire. Good times. Anyway after a week's detention from Fliwtick we both bonded cleaning cauldrons and from then on we confided everything to eachother. From me complaining about the amount of girls chasing me (no word of a lie; there were loads) and her going on about how many lads wanted her. We could never go further than friendship. We love eachother yes, but in a best friend way. Danielle was a muggle-born so being friends with her and having various muggle relatives meant that me, Nathan, Louise and Daniel were very in tune with muggle ways and customs
Other than Teddy and Danielle there was Lee Jones. He was a bit dim and thick but one hell of a quidditch player. Unlike me and Teddy neither of Lee's parents perished in the Battle of Hogwarts (poor Teddy, both of his did) but never the less they were well respected for their contribution to the defeat of you-know-who (don't think I'm a wuss. I know his name was Voldermort I just like pronouncing you-know-who)
Anyway less of them and more of me. As I've said I'm very popular with the girls. I have brown hair and green eyes. I have quite a broad build and I'm quite toned thanks to being a chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. I have a permanent scar from falling from a broomstick in the first year (The scar is the reason I'm the next Harry Potter I'm sure of it). That hurt like hell and tries spending three weeks in St. Mungo's with a batty Gilderoy Lockhart on your ward going on about some bullshit. Best class for me would be Defence against the Dark Arts. I love it and this year we are learning the three unforgiveable curses. I wasn't planning on killing anyone but seeing some under my control and then in intense pain should be quite fun. Worst class I hear you ask? Divination! Why the fuck did I take that shit? I've been on the Quidditch team with Lee since the second year and was delighted this year when I heard Lee had been made Quidditch captain
Lee was thick though so I'll probobaly wind up doing most of it. Not that I mind; I'd quite liked to have had that captaincy but Lee was a damn good seeker
My biggest shock of the summer, being made a prefect! What the hell was headmistress McGonagall thinking? I, Lee and Teddy had been nothing but trouble for her for half a decade and she seriously wants to put a prat like me in a position of power. Oh well, on her head be it. I was sure that Nigel Green would be made prefect. He was a snotty and geeky as they come and a bit of a twat as well. He looked down on everyone else because he was by far the brightest but seeing him try to fly in the first year was hilarious. Then again I fell over 50 ft and spent a month in hospital so he probobaly won that one
Other people in my year included:
Evan Horton: Nice lad. Bitter because he should have been in Ravenclaw with his twin brother Sam. Got on OK with him but wouldn't say we were mates. He also dated Danielle for a little while
Amy Martin: Thick as they come. Thicker than Lee almost. Danielle hated her with a passion; infact she hated nearly all the girls which is why she hangs around with Lee, Teddy and I
Gabby Johnson: If it walks like a slut, talks like a slut and sleeps about like a slut. Yeah, she's a slut. A fit slut though – I don't think you could be a slut if you were ugly? How many times am I going to say slut today?
Chloe Billings: Geek. Should be with Nigel. I hope to god she hasn't been made a prefect as well; she's had a crush (obsession) with me since day one and she smells like really bad
Hilda Alexander: Yes. There are people out there still called Hilda. She likes to keep herself to herself does Hilda. Never says much; kind of wierd. Intelligent though; maybe even more so than Nigel
"Jonny" mum called up the stairs at 9.45am on the morning of 1st September. "Jonny! Get up now".
Go away mum
"Jonny, get your fat arse down here now" bellowed Gregg
Go away Gregg
"JONNY!" they both scream at the top of their lungs
I awoke. Maybe the house was on fire? No, I'd know what with smoke inhalation and the like. Lou was dead? Na, I'm not that lucky. Was gran here? Why would gran be here?
"Jonny you do know what day it is" shouted Gregg "Do not make me come up there you little shit"
"It's Tuesday" I said slowly. I looked at my calender; it was on August and August 31st was yesterday!
Oh shit
Luckily mum never trusted me to pack my own stuff. I don't know why it wasn't like I was going to take any fireworks – though that's an idea to consider in the future – I got up and dressed like that. I'm aware you can't see me snapping my fingers but that's how quick I got fast. Running down stairs and completely buy passing the final flight with a (rather awesome) jump I ran into the car
"You're late" said Lou as she buckled her seatbelt in and petting her cat; Toyah. I hated that cat and it hated me. It was evil; like actually evil. I don't know how a cat could be so evil probobaly spending so much time with Lou.
Nathan and Daniel were in the boot. Daniel was ALREADY in his Hogwarts robes. The wierd little geek; he better not be a geek. If he was a geek he'd be in Hufflepuff and I was not having that. I quite liked travelling in Muggle cars maybe it's because I grew up surrounded by them. Teddy's sort of uncle Ron Weasley once stole his father's flying car to rescue Teddy's other-sort-of-uncle Harry Potter from his bedroom prison. No I don't know why I mentioned that either; my mind was thinking about cars
Arriving at King's Cross and 10:33am – Gregg never rounded up time he just gave you it exactly – we ran to the location of platform 9 ¾ when I spotted two hot muggle girls looking at my owl Brian (I'm not very imaginative) and looking confused
"I run an owlary" I called over to them. They both blushed and began giggling. I had the effect on women. Gregg grabbed me by the collar
"Behave this term or I will personally use Crucio on you" he said as we ran into the platform where the Hogwarts express was waiting to take off. I looked at the great big steam train and wondered when the Wizarding world would get with the times and just use an electric one. I spotted Danielle climbing onto the train. Bidding farewell to my parents and siblings I rushed after her. Danielle was very pretty; in the first year she had massive buck teeth but she managed to shrink them after a bludger knocked her teeth out and Madam Pomfrey grew them back. Now aged 15 Danielle was especially beautiful and I could say that with not fancying her because it would be near incest
Danielle had long blonde hair and had come back to school with some blue highlights in them. It sounds corny but they really worked and brought out her lovely green eyes. I'm not attracted to her though, that would be wierd right? Anyway I tapped her on the shoulder. She looked delighted at the sight of me and pulled me into a massive embrace
"Have you been working out" she said prodding my rock solid left arm with her finger
"A bit" I answered "Have you heard Lee's been made Quidditch Captain"
"Yeah I'm so pleased for him" she said beaming "I'm so pleased for you as well; prefect"
My heart fell
"You're not one then" I said trying to not look dissapointed. In my mind I had envisioned us walking the dark corridors of Hogwarts late at night talking about nothing as per usual.
"No, I'm really sorry" she said taking my hand. Was she blushing? "But I'm sure whoever it is isn't that bad". I bidded farewell to Danielle who went to find Lee and Teddy and I made my way to the prefects carriage hoping that Billings was not a perfect as well. If it was Gabby she was at least a laugh and I could maybe get shagged out of it; if it was Amy at least I could laugh at some of the stupid things she comes out and if it was Hilda I could learn more about her
If it was Billings on the other hand I would have nights of patrolling corridors with her feeling my biceps, or telling me how handsome I looked in the dark (she'd told me that once before; how the fuck could she see) and last but not least she could get the deluded idea that I fancied her. I didn't. I deffinately didn't.
I groaned
There she was in the prefect carriage; Billings. Sighing before I went in and for some reason I closed my eyes. Upon entering my ego was somewhat boosted even if I did say so myself I was by far and away the best looking in the room. Oh no, there was Hayley Cross – head girl - Ravenclaw. Stunning and beautiful and this was coming from a horny teenager who only described girls as "fit" or "shaggable" but you couldn't say that about Hayley she was far too classy. She gave me a smile and rolled her eyes as the pompous head boy began his speech
Billings looked elated I had been made a prefect and already had hold of my arm. I caught Hayley's eye and we both had to hide a giggle as Eamon Cliff – the head boy – puffed his chest out and talked about how to discipline. Hayley was pretty cool but all the others were the squarest bunch of people ever
I couldn't have felt any worse until the door opened once again. A nasty looking Slytherin boy in my year called Lewis Seddon had been made prefect. If I thought Nigel was a bit of a twat at times than my term to describe Seddon fell under a word I would rather not say. Drifting off and looking outside the window I sighed
"What a great way to start the year" I whispered to myself longing to be in the carriage carrying my three best friends