"Fade"

Show: Stargate Atlantis

Genre: Tragedy/Angst

Pairing: Slight Sheppard/Teyla

Rating: T (angst/violence/death)

Summary: If life in the Pegasus Galaxy had taught her anything it was that there was no such thing as fair. Warning: Character death.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own any of them. I just pretend to have a bit of control for the sake of fanfiction.

Author's Note: Yeah, this is dark and unhappy stuff…just the kind of mood I'm in right now. And there IS a character death, so if you're put off by that sort of thing, be warned.

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Life was not fair. Teyla Emmagen certainly knew and understood this as well as, if not more than, the others on Atlantis. One did not have one's father and mother taken by the Wraith by the time one was fourteen and maintain the childish, idealistic belief that everything that happens in the universe can be justified or understood. The numerous blows she had been dealt on a personal level were only made more explicit by the suffering and destruction she had witnessed on worlds that lay far beyond Athos and Atlantis. She was hardly alone in having to cope with pain, anger, frustration, and hurt. Usually this thought was more than enough to remind herself to deal with whatever occurred quietly and internally.

She knew that life was not fair. Apparently, she just hadn't accepted it as well as she had believed.

It could have been any of them, which was perhaps the most stinging part of it. When the Tarlesians had ambushed the team on their return trip back to the Stargate, they hardly had had time to react to what was going on, much less work out a decent strategy. They had found themselves pinned behind several large boulders that dotted the field near the gate, weapons fire from the tree line preventing any collective movement on the team's part.

Teyla had been stuck crouching behind one of the rocks with Colonel Sheppard. The air around her crackled with the sound and energy of explosives and artillery. She managed to whip around the rock every few seconds and fire off a few shots into the woods, hardly knowing if she was hitting any of their attackers. From the sound of it, though, she and the others were either completely missing their marks or they were getting backup from the nearby villages. No matter how many rounds the team continued to pump into the tree line, they were getting just as big of a response fired right back at them. At this point she was more worried about running out of clips or having her P-90 jam from the stress than actually being hit. Seriously reflecting on the possibility of dying on this planet was a luxury she wasn't quite ready to afford herself.

She allowed a quick glance over at Sheppard. He fired another round of bullets into the woods before ducking down behind the boulder again, a light sheen of perspiration covering his furrowed brow. Beyond him, Teyla could see Ronon and Rodney pinned a few feet away. Rodney's bullet supply had apparently already been extinguished, and he was huddled next to the rock, palms clapped over his ears in an attempt to block out the horrific noise of the battle around him. Ronon continued to fire in the direction of the woods, the angry, intense grimace she had come to recognize plastered on his face.

Looking back over her left shoulder she tried to estimate the distance between her position and the DHD. The distance itself wasn't unmanageable – perhaps twenty feet – and the path between where she was crouched and the control pad was studded with more boulders. She was the quickest of the four and the closest to the dialing device. With the boulders providing a reasonable amount of cover, she might well be able to reach it and dial the gate.

Shifting slightly, she managed to catch Sheppard's eye. With a few quick signals she was able to convey to him that she planned to make a break for the DHD. Though she wouldn't have been able to understand anything that he said over the noise of the weapons fire, his clenched jaw and worried eyes told her everything words couldn't at that moment. He knew it was risky, and he knew what could happen if her timing was off by only a split second…but he also knew that he couldn't afford not to let her try.

Firing off a few more rounds, Teyla watched as he caught the attention of Ronon and Rodney and quickly made sure that they understood what was about to happen. Ronon roughly pulled McKay around to the other side of the rock, ready to push him out in the direction of the gate at a moment's notice. Sheppard turned to rake his eyes back over Teyla's face one last time before giving her the go-ahead with a nod.

Teyla immediately straightened and dove for the next boulder while the others opened fire to cover her movement. The next rock was only slightly farther away, and she waited several seconds before executing a rapid somersault to reach it. She heard the air crackle with the sound of flying ammunition and pulled herself up, crouching on all fours behind the rock.

Glancing over her shoulder she saw that Ronon and Rodney had managed to make it to Sheppard's boulder, and the three of them were watching her, waiting for her next move. Knowing that she likely wouldn't be able to make it to the DHD using the same tactics again, Teyla carefully shifted behind the rock and flung her arm out in the direction from which she had just come. Attracted by the movement, their attackers took the bait and fired in that direction while she made the last sprint to the DHD. Rolling to a stop, she heard the air behind her whistle with bullets, peppering the grass and missing her right boot by only three inches.

She shot her teammates a grim smile and tentatively reached a hand up to the DHD control panel. The angle of the device was fortunate – it provided just enough cover that her movement would go unobserved. She was only just able to peer over the rim without risking the top of her head being blown off, but she had dialed the address to Atlantis often enough that it was hardly a question of searching for the right buttons.

Hearing the wormhole engage behind her, Teyla snatched her arm away, pressing her back firmly against the DHD, and sending through her IDC. Picking up her discarded P-90, she hefted it back against her shoulder, finger tight around the trigger. She was about to look for direction from Sheppard when she suddenly reached into her flak jacket and dug out one of the bombs that would create a smoke screen. It wasn't much, but at least their attackers would be firing blind instead of having the ability to aim at the team properly.

Holding it up for Sheppard to see, he nodded and gave her a smile and a wink. She watched as Ronon took hold of Rodney's shoulder, ready to pull him up and push him toward the gate at a second's notice. Sheppard tightened his hold on his weapon and gave Teyla a commanding nod. With a deep breath, she pulled the pin and carefully rolled it out past the DHD. It immediately started venting thick clouds of smoke, and she knew it was time for them to go.

Straightening up, she propped her P-90 on the DHD, firing toward the tree-line. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ronon half-push, half-drag Rodney up from behind the bolder, covering for him as the scientist made a dash for the gate.

The weapons fire had lessened right after the smoke grenade went off, probably out of confusion, but bullets were once again flying through the air. Sheppard managed to get to the DHD, and crouched down behind it next to her. She felt him give her a hard push with the elbow closest her, but she shook her head and jerked her head toward the gate, indicating that he go first.

Sending off a few more rounds, he took hold of her arm and gave her a shove. Teyla quickly met his hardened gaze and nodded resolutely. He gave her arm a squeeze and then let go, ready to let her try for the gate. Teyla pulled up from her crouch and broke into a sprint in the direction of the Stargate, hearing weapons fire erupt in her path – Sheppard was undoubtedly covering for her before following in her footsteps. She made it to Ronon, who was positioned near the gate itself, firing into the woods.

Suddenly she heard a sound that was distinctly different from the hollow, whistling noises all of the other bullets had made that afternoon. These latest had ended their flight paths with a distinctly muffled, thick sound.

Someone had been hit.

Ronon was still up ahead firing like a madman, and she certainly felt no differently. Whipping her head around, she saw Colonel Sheppard lying face-down in the grass, P-90 discarded beside him. Hardly thinking, Teyla spun on one heel and dove for him, pulling one of his arms up and over her shoulder and wrapping her other arm around his waist. She almost fell when she tried to stand up, though whether that was because of how heavy he was or a result of the slippery grass, which was already slick with his blood, she had no idea.

Not even allowing herself to take her eyes from the Stargate, Teyla stumbled as quickly as she could through the smoke, hearing bullets fly around her but somehow miraculously missing her and the man she was carrying. Ronon soon saw her struggling and ran to heave Sheppard's other arm over his shoulders, firing into the woods the entire time.

In only a few more steps they made it to the event horizon and flung themselves through, feeling the familiar, jarring sensation of the wormhole and emerging seconds later in the Atlantis gate room. With the combined force of their entry and deadweight of Sheppard, Teyla fell to her knees when she rematerialized, dragging Sheppard along with her so that he was sprawled across her lap.

She barely saw Rodney and Elizabeth running up the platform towards her or Ronon step away with a groan of anguish. Blood rushing furiously through her ears, Teyla reached out a shaky hand and ripped away Sheppard's flak jacket and shirt. Even before she saw the torn and mangled tissue that used to be his muscled, broad, comforting shoulders and chest she knew it was only false hope to believe he could still be alive. He was too cold, too still to be anything but dead.

She felt her breath coming in painful, uneven pants, sounding ragged and loud to her ears. Something inside her chest and throat began to constrict and twist in an unfamiliarly painful way, and she felt the first pinpricks of tears at the corners of her eyes. Those who were gathered around her began to murmur and gasp when they realized what had happened.

Tears suddenly trickled down her cheeks and splashed onto the still form of Sheppard, soaking into the black cotton of his t-shirt. Teyla swiped at them, her blood-stained fingers leaving scarlet streaks on her cheeks like some sort of obscene war paint. Hugging Sheppard to her fiercely and burying her face in his cool neck, she finally allowed her tears to fall where no one else would be able to see them. One of her hands clenched reflexively in his hair, and the other tightly grabbed a handful of his t-shirt material; it still carried the familiar smell that she had come to associate with him, which only made her choked sobs grow more violent. Distantly she was aware of the light touch of a hand that had come to rest on her shoulder – Rodney perhaps? – and the sound of others crying with her.

Life was not fair. Teyla just didn't know if she could accept it anymore.

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Author's Note: Yup, he actually IS dead, so there won't be anymore of this fic. Hope you guys took it okay, and any feedback you'd like to leave me would be awesome. Thanks for reading!