chapter 1

I now know why hazel grace was reluctant of "physical contact". She didn't want to hurt me. Hazel must have not wanted me to mourn over her as she thinks I might have for Caroline… but that's the thing about pain isn't it. It demands to be felt. She actually was a grenade, blasting of many hearts… well that's how life is. It's already a year after she left. Time flies literally. I'm still having a touch of cancer but the tumours stopped growing so that's something, right?

So I've stopped schooling, cause I can't handle more than what I'm going through right now I guess. And by the way I spend most of my time gaming with Isaac, my blind mate and writing up a sequel for an imperial affiliation for Hazel(I just hope it keeps up to her standards). Isaac has got over Monica (which is a relief) and life goes on I guess.

Well… I first met Hazel on that Wednesday, on that support group for cancer kids. I actually wasn't a member and at the time I had recovered from my osteosarcoma and was officially NEC. My friend, the currently blind, Isaac invited me to it. I arrived at the church and took the stairs. I was just standing around, I was a bit early I guessed, when she came in. She was holding a cookie and was pouring some lemonade into a Dixie cup. She was dragging cylindrical green tank on a wheeled cart connecting her by transparent tube which split behind her neck and lead to her nostrils. She had a slightly puffy face and was wearing a bit care-free attire. She was almost a spitting image of Caroline. I guess I must have been staring because she started staring back and I had to withdraw my gaze. When I looked back she flicked her eyebrows at me. She had green eyes. Caroline's were brown and she also had a darker complexion. Oh god, I'm already over her and now I'm comparing a girl that reminds me of V for vendetta to Caroline.

So this support group stuff carried on. I had to intro myself. "My name is Augustus waters. I'm seventeen. I had a little touch of osteosarcoma a year and half ago but today I'm here at Isaac's request"….

She also had to introduce herself. "I'm hazel. I'm 16. Thyroid with mets in my lungs. I'm ok" and that was all. She didn't participate in the support group much, I guess. Then Patrick (have I introduced him? No, I suppose. He was the leader or whatever in the support group. He really knew how to make a big deal of his ball-lessness.) asked me of my fears. "Augustus, perhaps you'd like to share your fears with the group", "he said.

"my fears?"

"yes"

"I fear oblivion" I said. Hazel Grace gave quite a nice explanation of oblivion. She was quite something.

I remember all the times we were together. We just hoped for everything to be okay. Well "okay" was our always….

Chapter 2

It was a miracle. I mean my cancer. I was literally infested by cancer as shown on my PET scan. I was just days away from my death, at the most weeks. No one was sure of my life. I even got Isaac and Hazel to write down eulogies…

It had been a mistake. A error. I was infested of cancer but I wans't at the doorstep to death. I stiil had a chance. A chance that I wish that I could've given to Hazel Grace.

I was admitted to the ER the night Hazel saved me when I was stupid enough to go out alone to buy a packet of cigarettes. Hazel…. She rushed herself and got out of breath. She was gasping for air the lat time I saw her alive.

I regret it all. I got ahead of myself and put myself into danger. I had also called her and put her into danger. She had got underoxygenated. I literally killed her myself. That's what I had thought, but it turned out that it wasn't the case. Her tumor had grown in her lungs rapidly. Her lungs had been literally upto the neck with fluid.