"Once more from the top for the press, m'am!" Wangari said, holding up her microphone to Prof. du Nord's face.

"Hello, everyone!" Chariot said, waving and smiling. "As you've heard, our very own Lotte Yanson and Sucy Manbavaran have earned their way into the first annual international Tsar Realms tournament!"

"And what exactly is Tsar Realms, m'am?"

"It's a fixed-card deck building game with four factions and-"

In the crowd, Finnelan gestured for her to hurry it up.

"It's... a very colorful form of poker, for children," Chariot said.

"Fascinating! Ms. Yanson-" Wangari sped over to Lotte, who fidgeted with the handle on her luggage. "-is it true that you won the qualifying tournament in a clean sweep two-nothing victory from the first round to the last?"

"Oh, no, it was very touch and go!" Lotte said. "I mean, it's true I won every single round and match I played, but it was never an easy victory."

"There were like three people other than me and her and she was the only one who'd played the game before," Sucy said, squeezing between Lotte and her luggage. "So if we're being honest, it's like if Babe Ruth called his shot in a little league match. There, was that normal enough a way to put it?"

"I know I got that one!" Wangari said, edging away from Sucy. "But here's the really cool thing: this colorful game Lotte is the Babe Ruth of is hosting its tournament in-wait for it-Waikiki, Hawaii!" She waved her microphone to the crowd, capturing the faint, polite applause and single "neat!" floating out of the crowd of ten students and two teachers who'd come to see the departing champions off at the ley line terminal.

"Can you imagine it! Getting to spend a weekend in the most desirable location in the United States, just to play card games for a money prize."

"And free t-shirts!" Lotte said, with a jump and a clap.

"And where exactly will you be staying in this fantastic, one-of-a-kind trip?"

"At the Silver Witch Hotel and Casino," Chariot said.

"A casino, you say!" Wangari said. "How in the world did they open a casino in Hawaii?"

"The hotel is in fact located in Paradise, Nevada! It opened in 1952 on the Strip and was advertised as America's first openly witch-friendly casino. Due to unforseen cross-contamination between nuclear radiation and the casino's Sorcerer's Stone, it bilocated over a site for future development in Waikiki in 1954. When pressed for legislation, the U.S. government literally threw its arms up and said 'Expletive it, let it roll.' And that's how it became Hawaii's first sanctioned casino."

"Fantastic. Simply fantastic. And why are Akko and Diana going?"

"Hi!" Akko said, waving.

"We've had a few unofficial government stipends for averting World War III," Diana says. "I decided I could set aside a little of it for a vacation."

"And I'm coming with 'cuz we saved the world together so we're gonna have an awesome saved-the-world vacation together!" Akko said.

"Yes, exactly that, and nothing untoward. Besides, Ms. du Nord will be there."

"You better believe it," Chariot said, adjusting her glasses.

"I don't suppose there's room for one more, eh?" Wangari said, raising an eyebrow. "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii and Vegas and now I could go to both of them at the same time. Report the poker tournament or whatever it is, liveblog it on the school social media platforms. It could go in the late Sunday edition of the student paper. Wouldn't that be fun and educational, teachers?" She held her microphone out to Badcock, who remained silent, and Finnelan, who frowned at her. "Anyone?"

"I smell thirst on you," Sucy says. "Like cologne on a lover's neck, it entices me, and like a fresh bowl of rice, it nourishes."

Wangari leaned close to Sucy, flicking the power off on her microphone and pressing her mouth to Sucy's ear. "I would cut your face off if it meant I could live your life for two and a half days. I'd go to jail forever after and it would be worth it. I don't give a fifth of a tenth of a fuck."

"You... I like you," Sucy whispered. She placed her hand on Wangari's, activated the mic, and brought it to her face. "Me and her just talked it over and her and me and Lotte are gonna be roomies."

"We are?" Lotte said.

"Yes!" Wangari said. "Jojo, Kim-Kims, I'm gonna need your stuff." Joanna and Kimberly hesitantly handed over their magic camera and endless notepad, Wangari pressing her mic into Joanna's hands. "Outie, bitches!" she said, running for the gate and diving in.

A few moments later she hopped back out. "Wait, wait, it's still pointed at Glastonbury. Got a little carried away!"

"We noticed," Finnelan said. "Look, just... leave, all of you. Have a good time in Hawaii."

"We certainly shall!" Chariot said. She drew her wand and cast the beacon spell. "We'll take plenty of pictures! See you all Sunday!" The gate's shade of green changed to a paler, sun-bleached shade. "Take a deep breath and hop in, their gate is at floor level, if I remember the brochure."

Two by two-with Chariot holding back Wangari from going through first again-they hopped into the gate, which returned to its normal color once the teacher passed through.

"Show's over, children, head off to what you were doing," Finnelan said, waving off the students.

"But m'am!" Hannah said.

"What are we gonna do without Diana?" Barbara said.

"It's the weekend, you're in the prime of your lives, I'm sure you'll find something to do while your idol is living it up without the rest of us." Finnelan doffed her hat and liberated a small kit from an elastic band above the crown. Badcock took the hint and felt around her mantle.

"I... guess... we... could..." Hannah furrowed her brow and rubbed her tmples. "Barb, what takes three days?"

"I don't know!" She furiously Googled. "I'm getting self-help guides, I don't think that's what-is it what we want?"

"No! We're perfect and she's perfect! We just need to kill time so we don't kill ourselves! Maybe we could-maybe we could make her a gift! What takes three days to make?"

"I'm looking, I'm looking," Barbara said, the two finally wandering out of earshot of Finny and Bad.

"God, somebody should just introduce those kids to drugs," Badcock said, sotto voce. "It'd be a healthier outlet for all that obsession." She popped a Lunesta and a Ritalin, chasing them with a sip of water (with just a bit of rum for health and safety).

"I just picture them digging around the carpet for dropped crack rocks and it's so satisfying," Finnelan said, lighting a strike-anywhere match with her thumbnail and heating up the edge of her blunt. "Speaking of-going to party tonight, Sammy?"

"Well, if Ursula of the North is getting high on life, we may as well be getting high on drugs. How about you head to my room tonight? I picked up some old video tapes, some frozen snacks going right in the frier... had my granddaughter's prescription refilled, if you get my meaning."

"Oh, you tempt me. Let me fetch a little of the good sip and I'll meet you there. What kind of tapes did you find?"

"Nothing but hits, my friend. Starting off with the classics: Mondo Cane, gliding on in to The Evil Dead. Follow it up with Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals, three Puppetmaster films to cleanse the pallet when we need it..."

"There was an Emanuelle cannibal movie?" Finnelan said, impressed. "That's new to me."

"Oh yes. I can't wait to see how depraved and plagiarized it is. Moreover, and you'll love this, I used some very interesting internet software Ms. Albrechtsberger taught me about to get a copy of Revenge from Planet Ape and make it into a DVD."

"No way!" Finnelan said. "You sly devil!"

"Oh, aren't I just. Come on, Annie. Let's have us a hell of a time." She took Finnelan's free hand.

"Right, but don't forget the drinks," Finnelan said, walking Badcock towards her room first.

"Oh, yes, of course," Badcock said.

"Woooo!" Akko shouted, twirling through the curving leyline pathway.

"Please be mindful of relative up and downs, Akko!" Chariot said. "Gravity will return at the end of the path!"

Diana maintained a seated pose on top of her luggage, reading a printout of maps and hotel information. "The Silver Witch is rated at three stars... some metal band with a spiderweb for a logo is playing on Saturday. Blegh."

Sucy swamp past her with a leisurely backstroke, taking a peek at the printout. "Hey, Absolution by Venom is killer, I won't have you talk bad about them."

"If you insist," Diana said, turning the page.

"I can't decide what I wanna do first!" Akko said, "Swim in the beaches or in the hotel pool, or maybe sightsee on the Strip-bilocation is so super cool!"

"I'm going to have to give a no to walking on the Strip unless I'm present," Chariot said, floating near Akko.

"Aww... alright," she said. not without a little pout.

"Oh, hey, it's almost time!" Wangari said. "Ladies and gents, get yerself ready, 'cuz we're gonna be landing feet-first in-"

Those present were unable to significantly adjust their posture before the terminal ended unexpectedly soon, leaving them all suspended in midair above a fountain with a depth of perhaps six inches. They all landed with varying degrees of awkwardness and bruising.

"Oh God, oh God, my deck!" Lotte sputtered, holding her luggage over her head and shaking the wetness off and onto her head.

"We're all using the same deck, Lotte," Sucy said, rising from the water. "And wild guess, they're gonna have more for sale if somehow your deck-condom-covered cards get wet."

"Aw jeez not the camera-a-a-a!" Wangari said, leaping out of the pond. "Someone! Anyone! Get me a-" A tall, tan-skinned lady in a colorful dress lay a wreath of flowers over her neck. "Excuse me m'am, where's a phone saver?"

"Welcome to Hawaii!" the m'am said, pointing at a kiosk a few yards away.

"Thanksbackinasec!" Wangari said, sprinting for it.

"Well! That could've been a better landing, but we're all okay," Chariot said, wringing out her skirt.

"I don't think it could've been," Sucy said, pointing at the gate. Its constituent trees grew from patches of bare earth around the fountain, growing into each other just over it. "By the way, it's night now." The sky overhead was black and minimally starred; they were surrounded on all sides by tall, gold-lit buildings, with sprawling green mountains visible in the distance.

"Right! Honolulu is eleven hours behind Luna Nova!" Chariot said, hopping out of the fountain. "Like my mother used to say, don't be too afraid of tomorrow, 'cause it's already tomorrow somewhere else-ah, thank you, m'am!" The lady handed out leis as the heroes worked their way out, Sucy taking three instead just to see if she could.

"Is that the pool?" Akko said.

"Oh, no, m'am!" the greeter said. "Presuming that you're here for the Tsar Realms tournament-"

"We are!" Lotte said, showing her student ID.

"Yep," Sucy said, likewise.

"-then the pool you're thinking of is an amenity courtesy of the Silver Witch!" She turned around and directed the witches' attention to the ten-story hotel rising up from the pavement. The walls were sleek and lined with a lustrious gray stone that evoked the look of dull metal, and a sublimely tacky automated neon sign of a swimsuit-clad witch reclined across the frontispiece, reclining on a broom and kicking her legs in the air. The name of the place was in a bold blue, the witch herself in white and a paler shade of blue. So, absolutely no silver whatsoever.

The hotel emanated a wobbly field of distortion at its furthest edges, like heat radiating off a sidewalk in summer. People were striding or stumbling or running between the summery haze, appearing at one end of the distortion and disappearing at the other. The quality of light was different; even accounting for the neon, the air seemed slightly brighter.

"Cool," Akko said.

"Very. Check-out time is noon, though we can bump it ahead to 2 for a modest fee!" the greeter said. "Also, please be aware that prostitution is not legal on the Las Vegas strip or in Hawaii."

"...uh..." Chariot said.

"Well, it isn't!"

"I'm the only person of age in this group. And I'm a teacher. And I helped these people save the world last year! Especially those two!" She indicated Akko (who waved) and Diana (who offered a short bow). "But admittedly not her, other than in a spiritual sense." Wangari was dancing an impatient waiting dance as the cell phone saver worked its vacuumy magic. "You saw it on TV, didn't you? What kind of a teacher would I be to go whoremongering while I have students depending on me?!"

"One of the cool ones, that's for sure," Sucy said.

"Apologies, m'am, that wasn't a value judgment or inferrence of character! I'm legally obligated to remind everyone who comes through that gate, is all."

"Oh. Sorry, m'am."

"Don't be! You definitely look like you're more on the supply side of prostitution. That was a value judgement! Have a good time~" The welcome lady floated away.

"The nerve on that woman," Chariot grumbled. "Alright, enough fun-time fancies and frolicks. Let's get you all situated."

"Yes! It lives!" Wangari said, holding the camera overhead; it looked somewhat distressed at recent events. "Thank you, based God!"

Chariot handed out the hotel room cards. "Remember," she said, "we had two rooms, not three."

"Yes, m'am," Lotte said, taking her card.

"Secret's safe with me, teach," Sucy said.

"M'am, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to-" Wangari said, but Chariot snagged her collar.

"Ah, ah, ah. No shenanigans in a casino at 3 am. Do you hear me, everyone? ... Akko?"

"Don't worry, I see her," Diana said, looking over at Captain Crisis's Crunchy Deli between the endless banks of check-in counters and the elevator. An "Open 24 Hours" sign blinked in its window. "She's probably going in for an early dinner."

Inside the deli, Akko grabbed a menu, scanned it, and ran to the front counter.

The slightly sleepy-looking man at the front counter smiled at her. "Hello, and welcome to-"

Akko held out the menu and pointed at the entree labeled CHICKEN FINGERS. "Just eff me up, fam!" she said.

"...So, like, a double order, or...?"

"I say eff, I mean eff!"

"Five orders it is."

"That's what I'm talking about! Yeah! America!"

Back outside, Diana said, "You know, that sounds like a good idea. You all go on ahead."

Chariot sighed. "Okay, this went better in my head. Come on, let's get to our rooms."

"Yes, m'am," Wangari sighed, leaning 'til she could see the glimmer of banks and banks of shiny gambling machines on the far side of the check-in counter.

Lotte leafed through a pamphlet on the Tsar Realms tournament. "There's an opening ceremony at 12:15 pm Hawaiian time, then the first game is at 1 pm. Oh, I should probably be getting to bed soon! Maybe I'll order room service for a light pre-bed dinner! We can do that, right?"

"If not, well, I'll settle it when we get back home," Chariot said. "Now let's going before we succumb to temptation completely."

Lotte lay her luggage on the floor and belly-flopped onto her bed, which made a pleasantly soft noise as she landed. "Oooh, it's been so long since I had a different bed... this one feels so nice!"

"Namaste," Sucy said, planting her luggage by the bed nearest the air conditioner. Their room was aggressively un-themed beyond the vaguely silver-blue color of the wallpaper, the curtains unusually long and opaque, enough to shut out all light if need be. Sucy parted the curtains and looked out over the gold-lit streets and distant mountains of Honolulu; after she looked at it too long, the gold refracted into another scene entirely. With a wriggling shudder, the calm golden light was replaced by an eye-piercing kaleidascope of neon colors. Not far away, a lance of light pierced the pre-dawn sky, launched from the point of an onyx-sided pyramid. There were buildings out to the flat line of the horizon, as if the world were an island of a city in a sea of bruise-blue. "Huh. That's neat." She pulled the curtains closed. "I'm gonna be in the bathroom a moment."

"Sure thing," Lotte said, pulling out her viewing globe and calling up the internet on it. She pulled up her personal strategy flowchart and gave it a quick browse.

Tsar Realms was a deckbuilding game where each player vied for a limited selection of cards on the table. She liked being able to pick up Grand Duchess Anastasia and the St. Petersberg Cathedral, drawing half her deck and sorting wheat from chaff as she pleased, but so did everybody else. She took a cue from Bruce Lee: flow like water, and don't hold on too tightly to tradition.

Sucy slid out of the bathroom in her jammies. For some reason the bathroom's entrance faced the beds, which would make its light kind of inconvenient for anyone srying to sleep when it was turned on. "Should I call in dinner? I'm gonna wring our school's budget dry because I'm pretty sure Chariot's gonna gamble 'til we either lose all our money or walk out of this rich no matter where we place."

"Yes, please!" Lotte said.

"Also, I bought a couple of these from the Corner Head Shoppe on the sixth floor when Ursula wasn't looking." She threw a small cellophane-wrapped cake at Lotte, who almost caught it but defintiely got whacked across the glasses with it. She readjusted them and gave the label a read.

"Brown... zed zed zed? With Sippin' Syrup?" The little round cake was in fact a chocolate brownie drizzled with chocolate syrup.

"Don't get excited, they just have melatonin in them." Sucy lay on her bed, picking up the phone. "And I didn't feel like going out of my way for codeine tonight. So whaddaya want for eats?"

"Oh, something light. Maybe a Caesar salad, if they have it!" She rolled off the bed. "I think I might take a bath before the food gets here, help me relax."

"Sure, go nuts," Sucy said. She placed an order and hung up, returning to her plan A for readying for game time tomorrow: endlessly shuffling her trade deck with a spell, because she had the sinking feeling she wouldn't be able to tomorrow. A few minutes later, Lotte stuck her head out of the bathroom.

"Excuse me, Sucy," Lotte said, "the bathtub's full of slime."

"Yes, it is full of slime, Lotte, you're very observant."

"How are we going to use it if it's full of slime? Why did-you put this here, didn't you?" Lotte stepped out of the bathroom, blessedly still dressed. "Why would you take our shower away from us before we even got a chance to use it?"

"Because it helps the place feel more homey. The more I look around the bedroom the more I notice all the anti-suicide precautions and it's making me depressed." She lay out a trade row and frowned at her luck. "Really, nothing that costs less than 5 rubles."

"Lotte, I mean Sucy, I don't want to have to use the other rooms just to take a bath! It's inconvenient!" Lotte sat back on her bed. "Can you fix it, at least?"

"I could. But it's useful where it is. You never know when we'll need it."

"It's slime, Sucy, it's useless by definition."

"It's good slime, Brent."

"Who?"

"Someone's not up on their timely internet reference that will be soon forgotten to the yawning abyss of time," Sucy said, "unless it's not, in which case, whoopsie daisy, egg on my face."

Lotte groaned.

Sucy smiled inwardly. It was never too early to establish the alpha.

Somebody knocked at the door before walking right in anyway. "Hey there!" Wangari said, placing her camera, key, and notepad on the chest of drawers that held up the huge-screen TV. "Chariot said to ask if you guys really meant to have me as your roomie."

"We're considering it," Sucy said. "Could you check the bathroom for us real quick? Lotte thinks she saw a spider."

"Sure thing!" Wangari said, loping to the bathroom. "Spider, spider... no, I don't-hey, what is-whoah, hey, wai-" SPLAT.

The color drained from Lotte's face.

Sucy chuckled.

"Please say you didn't have a foot snare spell waiting for her," Lotte said. "Or for the first person to get too close to the bathtub."

"Oh, no, that was all her being a total klutz. I promise."

Lotte chose to believe, for the sake of her nerves, and tried to ignore the sounds of struggle from the open bathroom door.

Eventually, a green, dripping mess emerged from the bathroom, with a thousand-yard stare fixed on nothing in particular. "The bathroom has been lost to the enemy. I'm goin' to Chariot's room." Wangari sloshed through the room and out the door, leaving a trail of flourescent green ooze in her wake and on the door handle.

"I think we've learned a very important lesson in this early hour," Sucy said.

"I'm not touching any of that," Lotte said.

"Your loss," Sucy said, unwrapping her Brownzzz. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm eating dessert first."

Akko lowered herself to the bed, not trusting her stomach with jumping on as she surely desired. "Ohhh, man, I think I went a little too American too quickly," she said.

"I'm startled you put all that down," Diana said, "and I've seen you eat steak like a hungry dog." She sat next to her, giving her plenty of room in case of disaster. "A well-done steak, at that."

"How in the hell could your auntie do that to a poor cow? Is that any way to immortalize its memory?"

"That's just how she... does things, I suppose. Present as wealthy, hope they don't notice her complete lack of taste." Diana twiddled with Akko's hair. "It's an embarrassment."

"You're tellin' me!" Akko belched. "Oof, 'scuse me."

"You're excused," Diana said.

"Well, that's good!" Akko thought for a moment. "Hey, wanna do it?"

"After you brush your teeth," Diana cooed.

"Well, then! 'Scuse me a moment." Akko shifted in bed. "Hang on. Wait. I need a little help getting..." She grunted. "Nope, not moving right now. Gonna need to take a rain check on doing you."

Diana giggled. "It's fine. We have the time."

"Oh, oh!" Akko reached for the TV remote. "And we have all the cool American premium channels! Wanna watch some HBO or Cinemax or Adult Swim or-Adult Swim is its own channel, right? Oh, maybe we can order a dirty movie while nobody's looking! Did Chariot block our-" The adult movie menu loaded. "Oh, baby, she did not."

"How irresponsible," Diana said, sipping her gin and tonic.

"Look at the selection! This Ain't Ghostbusters, This Ain't Ghostbusters 2016, Batman: The Unauthorized XXX Porn Parody, Eight Hot Muff Divers... huh. I thought these were supposed to have funnier names."

"Parody erotic film titles are a lost art."

"Yeah, it looks like," Akko said. "Maybe we could just watch something with girls kissing girls?"

"Sounds fine to me." Diana giggled. "I can only wonder what the rest of the faculty would think of Chariot for such a glaring oversight."

Badcock sneezed the pound note right out of her nose before breaking into a coughting fit. "By the Nine, I swear they cut that with salt and pepper. Son-of-a-bitching cheapskates, cutting it with whatever and knowing we'll suck it up our snoots no matter what."

"You crushed that Adderall yourself, you knob!" Finnelan said. "If your kitchenette counter is that dirty you should be glad that's all you snorted!"

"I... you're right, I did. Jesus!" Badcock rubbed her nose on the back of her arm. "The Lunesta must be kicking in. Sorry, Annie."

"It's fine. I didn't sell you the stuff, anyway. Maybe they did cut it before putting it into pills."

Badcock's room was smaller than Finnelan's, but it had an appreciable kitchen. Most of the teachers were content to eat their meals in the cafeteria or had them brought to their rooms; Badcock actually preferred to cook her own food, or, as today, fry up as many battered things as she could carry from the commisary's freezers. The most striking feature was an enormous flatscreen TV nested in the corner, three different kinds of video player hooked up to it and a stack of more exotic formats in a closet nearby.

The two had changed into casual clothes at the first opportunity, Finnelan wearing her Rolling Stones Voodoo Lounge tour shirt and baggy shorts, Badcock in a powder blue nightie and long socks. Well-fed in body and head, the two settled in to the softcore porn half of the evening, lounging on a worn faux-leather sofa. On the TV, Emanuelle wrestled with a snake.

"Think she's going to fuck it?" Finnelan said.

"Oh, she better," Badcock said. "Enough animals get killed in these things, at least one deserves to get laid."

Alas, the snake wound up getting its shit wrecked by the guy with the gun.

"Maybe next time, snakey," Finnelan said, before breaking into a protracted yawn. "Say, could you hand me one of those pills?"

"If you insist," Badcock said, planting a single blue pill next to her razor blade and pestle on the cutting board.

Finny flipped the board over and made a nice long rail. She retrieved her pewter nose-straw from a short pocket and insufflated the pill in a single pass. She took a few deep breaths, making sure it had all dissolved into her nasal passages, before sniffling her way across the cutting board in case she'd missed a few crumbs. At her side, Badcock fidgeted in her seat.

"Oh, I'm starting to feel it," she said. "Mm! Oh yes, this was worth it."

Finnelan smirked. "It's always worth it to have more fun than Chariot's having."

"That lucky bitch," Badcock said. "Going to Hawaii and Las Vegas simultaneously. At least she has to babysit the Wonder Triplets while they play their card games."

"You can keep a secret, can't you?" Finnelan said.

"Well, I wouldn't be here if I couldn't."

"Even now, after the late unpleasantness, I can't help but think of Atsuko Kagari as a bad influence on Diana Cavendish. I can only hope she doesn't drag Diana off on yet another asinine adventure where she learns by failing upwards. Honolulu has an abundance of educational opportunities that leave one's dignity intact. If I knew for certain Cavendish could get Kagari out to, at the very least, some museum or art gallery or even a nice local luau, I think I'd be less, well, resentful."

"An edu-vacation, you may say?" Badcock said.

"You may say indeed. Las Vegas is done being a family-friendly tourist spot, I truly hope that Diana at least tries to keep her nose clean-" She shivered. "Oh, fuck, it just kicked in. Fast! That was very fast." She sprawled out on the couch, pressing her foot into Badcock's side. "Ah, sorry, Sam."

"Mm! I had a stitch there anyway. Could you rub it for me?"

"I don't see why not," Finnelan said, rubbing her toes into Badcock's side, just along her ribs. "Ah, you're a squishy one. Not the first big fry-up you've had this month, is it?"

"Oh, stop," Badcock said, giggling.

"It's not so bad!" Finnelan said. "It's a nice kind of squishy. I can feel where your muscles are hiding out. Some days I worry I'm going well past squishy and into overripe."

"That's just Chariot on your mind again. We can't all be amazons, you know." She put her hand on Finnelan's calf and squeezed. "Ah ha. I feel a little muscle here! You're not overripe at all."

"Well, this school does have me..."

Badcock leaned closer to Finny, moving her hand from Finnelan's calf to her thighs. "Ah, and these are good and firm! Broom riding does wonders for the legs."

"Samantha...?" Finnelan said.

"Ah, did I go too far?" she said, lifting her hand from Finnelan's thigh.

"No... no you didn't." She was blushing. "Samantha, are you coming on to me?"

"I might be," she said, putting her hands on both of Finnelan's legs. "Maybe it's the cannibal porno flick. Maybe it's the Adderall or the whiskey..."

"It's been a while since we've had any, hasn't it?"

"Depends on how you define 'a while.' And 'any.' if it's literally any, a couple of weeks ago Nelson and I masturabted each other."

"Same here," Finnelan said, "except it was last Wednesday."

"She gets around, that old slut," Badcock said. "It's been too long since we've had new and desperate pussy. I kept hoping that Ursula would put out, but she never did. And now that she's Chariot... I'm not even sure she got any from Croix."

"She had to have! I mean, she beat all our asses and nearly started World War III, the last she could've done is let Chariot wring every last drop out of her and then some."

"If you had the time," Badcock said, "and you had the means... what would you have done to Croix, I wonder?"

"I-er-well-I'd-wait. That's not a hypothetical question, is it?"

Badcock crawled up Finnelan and planted a kiss on her chin. "Just a little. It's me you'd be doing it to."

"Well... for starters." She picked up Badcock, held her chest-to-chest, and lay on top of her, the couch groaning as they shifted their weight upon it. "I'd establish a little physical dominance. Like so."

"Just a little," Badcock said, somewhat short of breath but her glasses fogging with excitement. "Would you kiss her, I wonder?"

"No, not Croix. I'd probably slap her around a little, if I'm being honest, but you... well, I'm going to have to apologize. This'll have to be the abridged take." She kissed Badcock; her mouth, their mouths, tasted of ash and cognac and bitter powder and a warm, womanly lust.

"Just this once, I'll take the abridged version and enjoy it," Badcock said, coyly, nibbling on Finnelan's ear and feeling her long forelock tickle her neck.

The two fell into each other, and were not done even when the tape had hit the end and the TV display a dull blue glow over their entangled bodies.

While Wangari entered the second hour of her shower, Chariot took a nap.

At 7 o'clock Hawaiian time, 10 o'clock Nevada, Lotte lay in her bed staring at the darkness overhead. The light in the little hallway leading to the door was on, casting a dim glow over the bedroom. She stopped looking at the ceiling and looked at the TV, which was an ominously dark rectangle, and at Sucy, lying in Nosferatu-like repose.

The air conditioner alternated between too loud and eerily silent. Her Brownzzz lay uneaten on her side of the nightstand, half her salad in the refrigerator. She had felt totally confident and prepared right up until the time had come to try and nap, whereupon every nerve had been keyed up like an ex's car.

Maybe she should just take a shower and get prepared for the day's labors.

And so she would have to wait for anywhere from "just Chariot" to "everyone but Sucy" to wake up, and no way to check on them.

She crawled under her covers, alit her crystal ball, and tried to cram in strategies and card stats until her brain shut down.

Her brain had not shut down by brunch in the Bloodstorm Banquet Hall, a charming neo-Victorian/unlicensed-Game-of-Thrones-tribute mashup restaurant. She could only stare at her bowl of cereal taken from five different cereal dispensers and try to will her stomach into being hungry. Wangari captured her unhungry angst on film; while everyone else ate, she buzzed through the restaurant and took reams of photos, especially of the Luna Nova crew as they marched through breakfast.

"So you two will be in the game hall all day, then?" Chariot said as she refreshed her Mimosa from a pitcher.

"More or less," Sucy said, "if we're not refueling at one of the restaurants, or taking a nap in our room, or trying our hand at grown-up poker." She drizzled a long wavy line of sriracha onto her cheese-and-mushroom-medley omelette.

"Now now, let's not break any laws we can help not breaking," Chariot said.

"If you insist, teacher-san," Sucy said.

There were all sorts of people in the banquet hall. She wondered how many of the people in black shirts with nerdy things on them were here for the tournament, and how many were just dressed like they were. She felt pangs of envy over the people who looked better-rested than her, which was well under a quarter of the people she saw.

Lotte felt light-headed. Was she really going to spend the weekend facing Lord knows how many people over endless hands of Tsar Realms? Was she only a big fish in the small pond of Great Britain? And why was Sucy not even remotely concerned with any of this?

Sucy, Sucy, Sucy. She'd placed second in the tournament, and only by losing a single round compared to Lotte's undefeated streak. Lotte had suspected the loss had been to fantastic luck on her opponent's part, pouncing on a clutch turn-one T-26 that chained into an early-game Lenin's Mausoleum. Sucy couldn't keep up with the damage and card advantage and got pounded before what should have been the midgame. Maybe that was too self-doubting a conclusion, Lotte thought; maybe Sucy was just lousy at handling early-game aggro. She'd have to remember that in the off-chance that she had to face Sucy in the tournament. The thought of actually battling her gave her a nervous twinge the way Sucy smiling for any reason put Akko on edge.

And speaking of, how was Akko already eating breakfast at all, much less a muffin medly she was sharing with Diana? She practically had to be rolled to her room last night. This morning. Today.

Deep breaths. She lowered her nose to just above her cereal and inhaled the powdery, faintly fruity smell of her mixed cereals. "I can do this," Lotte said.

"That's the spirit!" Akko said.

Wangari caught that moment too.

Diana downed half her milk in one go. "My God, what madman would mix chocolate muffin batter and then add semi-sweet and milk chocolate chips? That was so rich I think it glued my mouth shut."

"It's Vegas, baby, and also Hawaii!" Akko said. "It's double America! So let's eat like it or something like that."

"You're going to put on ten pounds with that attitude," Diana said.

"Well, I know I could use a little more weight here and there, knowwhatImean?" Akko said, winking belaboredly.

Diana put her hand in front of Wangari's camera's eyeball. "Please, we're trying to enjoy breakfast, Wangari."

"Well, you're not taking food pictures, so somebody's gotta!" Wangari said.

Chariot glanced around, then poured everyone at the table a finger or two of her cocktail. "While we're not documenting this breakfast, how about we toast to an amazing weekend?"

"If we must," Sucy said, picking up her glass.

"Heck yeah!" Akko said.

Wangari took her glass, pointing her camera down for emphasis. "To peace," she said, initiating a toast.

"The peace of the grave," Sucy insisted, "the only peace our enemies will ever know."

"That's the spirit!" Chariot said.

Everyone present, Lotte included, drank. Lotte shivered at the bubbly bite of champagne.

"I see a wussy drinker," Sucy cooed, slithering up to Lotte. "I hope that doesn't carry over to wussy deckbuilding."

"Not on your life," Lotte said.

"I sure hope that's the case. Would be a shame if Luna Nova only sent one deckbuilder with the drive to win."

"Now, now," Chariot said, gently tugging Sucy off of Lote's shoulder, "let's not give each other too hard of a time. If you both work hard and do your best, you'll both bring pride to Luna Nova!"

"Yes, Miss Chariot," Sucy said, with the enthusiasm of someone being forced to swallow barbed wire.

"That's the spirit. Now buck yourselves up and get ready for the fight of your lives! If you need anything, you have my number." Chariot vanished into the crowd.

"Yeah, we're gonna catch a few of the sights before we check in on you guys!" Akko said.

"Yes, exactly," Diana said, and the two were off.

"The opening ceremony is at noon, right?" Wangari said. "I'll be there! Until then, I've got pictures to take. Yep... pictures." Wangari dove into the crowd.

"Hm." Sucy looked Lotte up and down. "We're not gonna see any of them 'til it's time to leave. I can feel that in all my angled places. You can feel it too, right?"

Lotte nodded, hesitantly.

"Guess it's just you and me from here 'til the end of the world. You ready to take your stand?"

"I was born ready," Lotte lied.

"You better be. When I scrape you off my boots I want to remember what I stepped in."

"...that was harsh."

"I'm trying to be." Sucy finished her omelette.