The Great Mighty Mario Experience

It was a day unlike any other day. Bowser had once again kidnapped Princess Peach. Naturally, like the hero he was, Mario decided to go.

Luigi had decided to tag along on this one seeing as he usually didn't join into Mario's adventures.

So, they braved many perils. The plucky young duo fought through storms of goombas, a battalion of koopas, and even 8 bosses. It took many days to reach their destination, but they did it.

Mario took a breather and said, "Luigi, our job never gets any easier, does it?"

Luigi grimaced and muttered, "You mean YOUR work never gets easier."

"What was that?" asked Mario.

"Nothing," Luigi answered.

Mario felt a rumble in his tummy. He took out a small metal box and said, "It's lunch time!"

Luigi jumped for joy and decided to help himself to the baloney sandwiches. Naturally, Mario ate the mushroom sandwiches. As the two feasted on their lunch, an aroma filled the air.

Mario and Luigi, not yet noticing the aroma were busy chowing down and talking.

"Are you ready for the final battle between us and Bowser?" asked Mario.

Luigi nodded and answered, "You know I am!"

Mario looked into the distance and cocked his head to one side. "Where's the entrance to his room?"

Luigi turned around to notice that there was no door or anything, just a window that clearly had a dead end behind it.

Luigi shrugged and said, "Maybe Bowser's hiding and plans to ambush us here. Chances are he could be hiding Peach behind that window."

Suddenly, the monstrous odor finally left the room and hit Mario and Luigi's noses. The two gagged as Mario asked, "What is that rank smell?"

Suddenly, a small creature started shouting for help. Mario heard the distress call and came to help it. This creature was small and white and resembled a snail in some ways. He was apparently trapped in the sticky substance that appeared to be dark brown quicksand.

Mario peered down and called, "Stay there! We'll help you!"

The creature shook his head and exclaimed, "NO, IT'S A TRAP!"

Mario turned to Luigi and said, "I'll go save it from that quicksand."

Luigi smelled the air and remarked, "That's not quicksand, Mario."

Mario cocked his head to one side and asked, "How is that not quicksand?"

Luigi sniffed the air again and said, "I recognize the smell. This is not quicksand. It's…"

Suddenly, Mario realized what he was getting at as the two barked in unison, "THIS IS SHIT!"

Suddenly, a hand sprung up out of the flowing poop and grabbed the snail. After that, it was revealed that the hand belonged to a giant blob with a large gaping mouth and two eyes sticking out of its head like a frog's eyes.

To make matters worse, this monstrosity was made entirely out of a sticky brown substance, and this substance wasn't chocolate.

He picked up the snail and ate it in an instant as Mario stared in horror and asked, "Who are you?"

The blob cleared his throat and sang, "I am 'The Great Mighty Poo' and I'm going to throw my shit at you! A huge supply of tish comes from my chocolate starfish. How about some scat you little twat?"

The Great Mighty Poo, as he called himself, picked up a huge lump of poo and hurled it at Mario. Mario jumped out of the way just in time to dodge it as he wined, "I can't fight under these conditions!"

Luigi shrugged and said, "It's just poo. We've dealt with bigger clogs. We can stop this guy!"

This was a surprise. Normally, Luigi would be the one with no confidence while Mario was the one to boost his confidence. Mario shook off his fear and said, "We'll do it for Peach!"

Mario pulled out a small red flower and leapt into the air. He stopped midway as his body caught on fire and his overalls changed from red to white.

"Deal with the fire flower, poo-head!" he shouted as his threw a fireball at the Great Mighty Poo. What's this? The fireball as no effect. It just turned into smoke and faded away as if it had touched water.

Luigi trembled in fear as he cried, "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?"

Suddenly, he remembered his trusty little friend. He took out a giant hammer and hurled it at the beast. Sadly, it sunk into the poo's body. After that, the poo hurled two pieces of poo and trapped the Mario Brothers underneath them.

He laughed and sang, "Do you really think you'll survive in here? You don't seem to know which creek you're in. Sweet corn is the only thing that makes it through my rear. Why do you think I have this lovely grin?"

He flashed a toothy smile as his yellow teeth shone for two seconds. Mario and Luigi dug their way out of the pile and cleaned themselves off as best they could. Mario shook with rage and barked, "It's go time, poo!"

He pulled out a giant plunger out of nowhere and stuck it onto the poo's head. The poo started to squirm as Mario pulled up and down with the plunger.

The poo hurled another piece of poo at Mario and released the grip on the plunger.

He shook with fury and sang, "Now I'm really getting rather mad! You're like a niggly tickly shitty little tag nut! When I've knocked you out with all my bab, I'm going to take your head and ram it up my butt!"

Luigi stared and replied, "Your butt?"

"My butt!"

"Your butt?"

"That's right, my butt!"

"Yuck!"

"My butt!"

"Disgusting!"

"MY BUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTT!"

Suddenly, his loud voice started to shatter the glass window in the back. Surprisingly, Luigi noticed something strange. He couldn't help but notice what was truly behind the window.

Mario shoveled his way out from under the pile again as Luigi tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to the key to their victory.

"Great plan, Luigi, but we have to avoid this guy's massive rocks!" said Mario.

The two ran along the path leading to the window as the Great Mighty Poo threw his massive chunks at the brothers. They dodged each and every attack until they reached the window and Mario shattered it with his hammer.

After that, they both jumped up and grabbed onto an object dangling from a rope. As they pulled it down, the whole ground started to open up. The poo started to spin around as it was revealed that this object was actually the flusher that was necessary to flushing this freak of nature down the drain.

As he vanished from existence, he wined, "Ah! You cursed plumbers! I'm flushing, I'm flushing! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who'd have thought a couple of plumbers could destroy my beautiful clagginess?"

Upon those final words came a loud holler as he and the rest of the poo in the area flushed down the drain. Surprisingly, before flushing all the way down, a young woman came flying out of the poo's mouth.

Mario ran up to woman and cried, "Princess Peach, there you are!"

Luigi laughed and said, "It seems Bowser wasn't responsible after all."

Peach nodded and explained, "You are correct. See, Toadsworth was showing me this boring cave when I slipped and fell into quicksand. To make matters worse, this 'Great Mighty Poo' showed up and devoured me whole as Toadsworth fled to get help."

Mario laughed and said, "I guess this was our weirdest adventure yet! Say, Peach, how about we clean up this shit off of out bodies and you reward me afterwards! I princess shouldn't have to smell like that! That smell is for us plumbers!"

The two heroes and the princess laughed and walked home as the little snail from the beginning looked around and exclaimed, "I'm free! I'm finally free!" Suddenly, the rest of the poop went down the drain and pulled him down with it.