Summary

Two very different people with conflicting aspects of life find beauty within eachother, and their personalities clash together romantically, creating the weirdest romance South Park will ever witness. Despite the differences in their attitudes towards life, they find a way to cope. Even though it sounds like it, trust me, this is not another sappy ass love story. Craig/Red, Het, Cred?

A/N

I'll start this off by saying I really like Craig's character and always wanted to write him, but I wanted to give him a pairing. Considering the fact that Craig doesn't really pair with any girls (GIRLS NOT TWEEK, IM A GUY A GUY A GUY A HETERO GUY, I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH GAY PEOPLE BUT I CANT WRITE A GAY PAIRING. SORRY.) you have to sort of find someone to pair him with. And since Red and Craig are like two completely different characters and I like both of their characters, I decided to pair them up together and test my lacking skillz. I read where people think they're cousins, and to

clear confusion, picture them as NOT cousins. Alright, enjoy the first chapter of Scarlet Boredom.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or related material.

Five.

Six.

Seven?

Craig opened his eyes slowly after he finished counting the white blotches of color he saw when he clenched his eyes tightly in brightly lit rooms. He checked his watch again boredly, despite Mr. Mackey's rule against watch checking. He leaned back in his seat and kept his neutral expression as Mr. Mackey neared his table quickly and hastily. The sight made Craig scoff; his balloon headed ass didn't intimidate Craig one bit. In fact, it would have made him laugh if he wasn't a stoic asshole, like how Clyde says he is.

"CRAIG TUCKER! Did you forget to read my rules on the black board mmkay?" Mr. Mackey questioned, pointing a finger at the black board that had ten rules listed in different marker colors. It was kind of like a rainbow of rules. So, if its a rainbow its faggy. And Craig doesn't really care for faggy things, which is why he doesn't care for Stan and Kyle.

"No." Craig replied truthfully. Mr. Mackey's face had a tint of red and his eyebrows curved angrily, and he frowned deeply.

"Why the fuck did you check your watch then Craaaaig?" He shouted. Surrounding kids snickered as they saw the scene, causing Craig to smirk slightly. Mr. Mackey when he was pissed was hilarious enough to make even the apathetic asshole Craig crack a humourous smile.

"Cause," Craig stated simply as if Mackey was a six year old child. He didn't have any intention to give him an answer as to why he checked the time. He wanted to go defend the Stick of Truth, a game that they have been playing for SIX years, wasn't it clear enough? He was even dressed in his armor.

Mr. Mackey sighed angrily and looked at Craig cooly. It was fucking creepy, to say the least. If Craig was Tweek in this situation he would have accused him of statutory eye rape.

"You should be sixteen, mmkay? Ever since i've promoted to a High School therapist you've been coming to detention on purpose, and dont say you dont, you little shit! Mmkay!" Mackey ranted, gradually increasing in volume of voice. "This has been going on for too long. Some little douchebag busts in mmkay, lets you out mmkay, and you play some game that you all are too damn old to play mmkay. Aren't you tired of THIS mmkay?" Mr. Mackey declared. He was actually breathing in and out. In anger or maybe he was out of breath, Craig didn't know, but it was pretty funny. Craig decided to give him another cliche line.

"I'll be out of here in ten minutes."

True to his word, Craig was set free in ten minutes much to Mackey's anger and claims of even severe punishment. He was currently walking down the hallway by his lonesome for a reason he didn't even know; while his friends were outside waiting in the blistering cold snow. just so they could go off to Kupa Keep and defend the Stick of Truth together. Something drew him back down the ninth grade halls that he once walked on. What it was, he didn't know, but it was a sensation that couldn't be ignored.

So, he followed it.

As he passed a completely random ninth grade classroom he noticed familiar voices speaking rather loudly, but you could tell they didn't want to be heard. Which was fucking weird, because if you're loud enough to make Craig stop in his tracks and be nosey, you weren't being very secretive at all.

It wasn't like Craig to care about what other people were saying, or other people in general, but the same sensation that drew him to the ninth grade hall drew him to the door to listen.

Very nosely, like the token poor kid, Kenny.

"You need to ice it!"

"Fuck, I was going to!" These two feminine voices were easily recognized by Craig. Fucking Lizzy and Red. Great. They weren't very likeable; both were bitches to him for no reason. But it sounded like someone was hurt in some type of way, and Craig didn't take those two years of Medical Training in tenth and ninth grade for nothing.

But he still didn't like Lizzie or Red, so he continued on his merry way down the hall, which led to the emergency exit doors.

When he was just mere inches away from the emergency exit door, a very frantic looking Lizzy opened the door that she was yelling at Red in. Her hair was a tangled mess, and her cheeks had the faintest tint of pink from tiredness, he guessed. Lizzy and Red shouldn't be here; cheerleading practice ended atleast an hour ago. She still had her uniform on; with her mascara smudged and her overly applied makeup fading. She eyed Craig like they were both lions and he trespassed in her den.

He stared at her blankly until she literally came running towards him as if she was going to tackle him. This alarmed him a bit, if it was one thing the bitch was known for, it was for kicking asses.

"Lizzy, what the heck?" He shouted, putting his palm towards her as if he could force palm her away. She kept running until she tackled him manlishly. He fell. Hard. She was on top of him and she looked down on him with her huge bright hazel eyes of hers.

"Get the fuck off me Lizzy." He commanded, expecting her to move. She still sat on top of him, looking rather smug.

"Come on, jackass. Help me fix Red's leg." She finally asked, lifting her body off of him.

"Sounds like a command."

"2d asshole. You took those nerdy medical classes. Help her."

"Hmm.. i'd rather not."

"Why?"

"Both of you insult me for... I honestly dont know why. And mostly because people are waiting for me."

"Ah. So you can go play that gay 'Stick of Fags' game."

"Ha-ha. Not helping Red. Call your coach."

"If coach finds out she has any injuries she cant perform in our next game!"

"Take her to a hospital."

"Good idea, asshole. Besides the fact that we dont have a car?"

"Do it by your own. Im leaving now." Craig turned away from Lizzy and pressed against the door, cracking it slightly. Lizzy grabbed his shoulder forcefully and spoke in a pleading tone, which was really strange. Must be her period moodswings.

"Please Craig. This is really important to her."

To reject her even though she's a dick to him most of the time, would be an ass move, even for him. He sighed heavily and closed the door, turning back around. Lizzy smiled, which was extremely rare.

"I dont really care about how much this means to her, you just gave me the puppy dog."

"And you will never mention it again."

Lizzy practically dragged Craig to the room, and when he made it in, he was met by a whimpering Red who was laid out on a couch with a nasty gash decorating her left leg. It was pretty bloody. She appeared suprised when he walked in, but quickly replaced it with a frown.

"Is this the teachers lounge." Craig asked loudly, forcing his gaze on Red.

"Yeah. Why?" Lizzy asked.

"First aid kit."

"Wait, you got him? Dont let him touch me!" Red shrieked. Which was very uncalled for.

Boy this was going to be a bitch in a half.

Thanks for reading lovely viewers. So, do you like the pairing? The direction of the story? If so, leave a good review and no flames pls. Constructive crit. welcomed. Byeeee.