Mission Men
"How's this going to work again?" Phillip questioned. He was beginning to think his stepfather and brother were running out of things to do for entertainment.
"Easy, we divide and conquer!" His two comrades announced while raising their fists in premature triumph.
"This is never gonna work, but I'm willing to sit back and watch your plan go up in flames." Phillip encouraged.
"Phillip, where's your sense of adventure?" His younger brother inquired.
Turning from his brother back to his stepfather Phillip said, "Lee, I don't think this will bomb. I know it will blow up in your face like a nuclear weapon in the hands of the Russians. Unlike you, I have lived in this house with those two women, downstairs, my whole life. By all means please give it your best shot. I will on the other hand go downstairs to watch this "mission" implode." Phillip laughed as he began to walk from the room only to have Lee's next statement stop him.
When Phillip left the room Jamie looked toward Lee and said, "Until you moved in he didn't even know the word implode. I feel success is in our grasp, I mean if Phillip can learn a new word and use it correctly, I'm on the right team."
"Thank you for keeping that statement to yourself until he left the room."
Ten minutes later Phillip was sitting in the family room as Lee and Jamie came down the stairs laughing. 'If they only knew' he thought.
The guys found Dotty and Amanda sitting at the kitchen table squabbling over Scrabble. "Mother that is not a real word and you know it."
"Yes it is Amanda. Ask your husband." Dotty said pulling Lee into the conversation just as he and Jamie had begun their search. Lee jumped slightly at being beckoned like a kid caught in the cookie jar.
"Lee, will you tell her that 'hiberdating' is not a real word." Amanda pleaded with her husband.
"Amanda, I can use it in a sentence. Edna has been hiberdating Mr. Frances for weeks." Dotty countered.
Lee looked over at the two women that were so important to him and said. "I, uh, I think I should bow out of this game. I don't think it would be fair to get in the middle of this."
Amanda smiled and said, "Smart thinking, Scarecrow" just as Dotty mumbled, "Cowardly Lion".
Lee put his hands in his pockets, rocked on his feet a second before backing out to join Jamie next to the fridge. Whistling he motioned for Jamie to follow him into the den as he asked, "Did you find anything while I was over there?"
"You were there for, like what, ten seconds. What do you think I could find in ten seconds that I couldn't find in fifteen years?" Jamie whispered.
"Okay, okay, you go and distract them while I look this time."
Jamie walked over to where his mother and grandmother continued to argue over Dotty's unique word play.
"Mother, why can't you just play fairly? You are really setting a bad example for the boys here." Amanda protested as her mother counted up the points to add to her score for the word of hiberdating.
"Darling, I'm pretty sure that husband of yours is a bad influence more than I am."
"Grandma, instead of using it in a sentence, can you tell me what it means?" Jamie asked before looking over his shoulder to see Lee in the middle of his own reconnaissance search.
Looking at her youngest grandson Dotty plainly said, "It simply means ignoring everything but the new person you are dating."
"Oh, you mean like when Mom and Lee were sneaking around. I get it. Mom, I think you should let Grandma have the points. She makes it valid."
"Hey!" "Jamie!" Lee and Amanda both said at the same time then looking at one another beginning to laugh.
"Well, okay that word I will give to you. Lee, what are you looking for?" Amanda turned back toward her husband as he continued moving items around the pantry.
"I had some chips up here; I was looking for them. Did you move them?" He asked without looking at her, knowing she would know he was lying.
"No, you moved them when you finished them last night. You don't have any more chips. Have an apple instead. It's better for you." Amanda pointed to the fruit bowl on the counter.
"I don't really want an apple." Lee answered trying to sound put off.
Smiling at him she said, "Then maybe you aren't really hungry, try a glass of water. If you're still hungry then try an apple."
"Amanda, I don't want an apple!" He snapped out a tad harsher than he meant to.
"Okay, fine you don't want an apple, but you're out of chips, so I don't know what else you could be looking for."
"I don't know either." He walked into the family room and took a seat next to Phillip.
"I see your plan is working out perfectly." Phillip interjected laughing.
"No comments from the peanut gallery. I have yet begun to fight, search, and rescue."
"Lee, why is this so important for you?" Phillip asked after his laughter subsided.
"Oh, it isn't important. I just want to."
"Well, if you want something that Mom put somewhere then just think like her. How would Mom look at the situation?"
Phillip went and headed back upstairs to make a phone call. Lee sat and began to think like his wife. He loved his wife but her thinking, as logical as it was, hurt his head a lot of times.
Lee turned on the TV more to silence his mind as he thought and ran across an update on the prison system and inmate programs. One of the inmates got his attention right away, it was Jerry Perrine. He was being interviewed and then it hit Lee, 'think like Amanda would'!
Lee tested his theory and while Jamie still had the attention of the two ladies of the house, he once again opened the kitchen cupboard and pulled something from the front right corner. Without opening the box he shook it slightly and smiled before placing it back in the cabinet.
Walking to the table he sat next to Jamie and whispered in his ear, "Mission accomplished."
Jamie's eyes got wide with excitement while he and Lee did a secret, not so secret handshake.
"What's going on you two?" Amanda asked she could feel the suspicion creeping into her voice as she spoke to the two males at the table.
"Oh, nothing, just something between us guys." Lee answered before Jamie could blurt out the whole plan to her.
Dropping the subject Amanda went back to her game with Dotty as the two made their way back upstairs with their reward in hand to show Phillip. They walked in the bedroom as Phillip looked up and said, "I told you it wouldn't…"
"…work?" Lee finished while he popped a big fluffy marshmallow in his mouth while holding a cereal box of Great Granola in his hands.
"How did you do it?" Phillip asked.
"Easy," Lee began as he sat on the bed and passed a marshmallow to Phillip, "you said think like your mom. Your mom has always said that the first place a person would hide something is the last place a person would hide something, so in keeping that in mind the first place I looked was the last place I looked."
The three began laughing and continued laughing as they again heard Amanda from down below, "Mother, that is not a word! Stop cheating!"