Alone I Break- by No Blood For Oil
Just as a side note, this fic is the product of alternating between KoRn and the LOTR score while freezing my ass off. Don't worry if this seems a tad weird or depressing. This is a one-shot; if I get enough reviews (mebbe 7 or so), I'll continue. If not, then I nix the story.
"I'm not a goth, I'm just very bitter."
Pairings: Inuyasha/Kagome and Miroku/Sango, although it definitely doesn't seem like it at first.
I do not own the song "Alone I Break" by KoRn, nor do I even pretend to own Inuyasha.
Summary: Kagome, not exactly the happiest person in the world, is upset by Inuyasha once again, and to relieve the pain, pours out all of her negative energy into song.
Pick me up
Been bleeding too long
Right here, right now
I'll stop it somehow
::flashback::
Kagome sighed in exasperation, trying to haul both herself and her overweight pack out of the well. 'Stupid tests,' she thought, annoyed, unconsciously mimicking Inuyasha's own sentiments. It was almost dusk, and the diminishing light made it hard for her to see the vines she used as handholds. 'Maybe I should try for Inuyasha,' Kagome thought, and was about to open her mouth, when she heard a voice. A voice so familiar to Kagome that everything else disappeared from Kagome's mind as she concentrated on the voice.
"Inuyasha."
'Kikyo.' Kagome thought, her eyes widening as she strained to hear.
"Ki…Kikyo! What are you doing here?" Inuyasha sounded surprised…but not as upset as Kagome would have liked.
"I came to see you, Inuyasha," Kikyo said, her voice cool and controlled. Kagome heard some rustling that sounded like fabric, and then Inuyasha's shocked gasp.
"What are you doing, Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked, a note of uncertainty lingering.
"I missed you, Inuyasha," she said, her voice slightly muffled.
Kagome stifled a cry as she hauled herself up the rest of the way. She peeked over the rim of the well, determined to see what was going on.
What was going on indeed. Kikyo was embracing a very shocked Inuyasha, her face buried into his hair. Inuyasha looked very stiff and tense. From what Kagome could see, Kikyo looked calm and peaceful; she wasn't smiling, but she seemed happy. Inuyasha made no move to push her away; he just…stood there, allowing Kikyo to hold him.
In an instant, Kagome's world shattered. All of her thoughts and memories of her tender moments with Inuyasha came rushing back in an overwhelming torrent. Her eyes watered; it was she could do to stop from crying out loud. 'Why, Inuyasha, why?' she thought desperately. 'I thought you liked me…much as I liked you…I thought you hated Kikyo; why are you letting her hold you like that?' Kagome thought wildly, her eyes widening til they resembled saucers. She turned her eyes towards Kikyo, who also made no motion to break free. 'No…'
Kikyo sighed contentedly. "Can we stay like this just a bit longer?" she asked, her voice still muffled by Inuyasha's hair.
No word of dissent was heard from the hanyou.
"Arigato…Inuyasha…aishiteru," Kikyo murmured
Inuyasha stiffened, his body going rigid. Kikyo broke free and looked up at him, an unsaid question in her eyes
Inuyasha sighed. "But Kikyo, I can't just leave my friends like this. And besides, we still have to find the shards and battle Naraku," Inuyasha said, closing his eyes.
"Why?"
"Well, first of all, I want the sh-"
Kikyo interrupted. "To do what? To turn human? Do you even want to turn human any more? I don't want you to; nobody's forcing you."
"…Kikyo…" Inuyasha looked very troubled.
"And I can help you kill Naraku; I, like you, also have a score to settle with Naraku, and need I remind you how powerful I am?" Kikyo said, fixing him with a pleading gaze.
"But-" Inuyasha began
"Wait," Kikyo silenced him, putting a finger on his lips. She looked toward the well. "We have a visitor."
'Holy shit…does she know I'm here?' Kagome thought frantically, lowering herself out of sight, praying that she wouldn't be discovered. But it was far too late, as she found herself being hoisted roughly out of the well. She closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable.
Inuyasha staggered back in shock, looking at the miko from the future. "Kagome?" Inuyasha said sharply, both surprised and angry. "What the hell are you doing? Were you listening in?" he growled dangerously, grabbing her by the collar of her uniform.
Kagome all but whimpered, eyes closed tight. 'God, please let me get out of this alive,' she thought frantically, scared to death.
"Inuyasha! Put her down," Kikyo commanded.
"Why?" was his retort.
"Just do it," Kikyo said, some of her icy demeanor returning.
Looking confused, Inuyasha complied, setting Kagome down and stepping away, glaring at her. Kagome let out the breath she wasn't aware she was holding, dusting herself off. She tried to ignore the low growl emanating from Inuyasha.
Kagome looked at Kikyo gratefully, but was met with a cold glare. "Kagome, you are the only thing keeping me from being with Inuyasha," Kikyo said, taking out her bow and notching an arrow. Kagome could see Kikyo's aura concentrated around the arrow; a very dangerous weapon indeed. Kagome's eyes widened, and she looked to Inuyasha for help. He was frozen, unsure of how to react. Kikyo smiled triumphantly, drawing her bow back as far as it could go. "I believe you have something that belongs to me, Kagome. And so, I say: sayonara, reincarnation,"
And with that, she let loose her arrow. Kagome stared in shock as the arrow seemed to protrude from her left shoulder. Kagome stared at her shoulder in shock as she fell backward to hit the ground with a loud thump. The blood pooled beside her, flowing much too fast for comfort.
Kikyo lowered her bow and looked pointedly at Inuyasha. "Next time, I won't miss. Sayonara, Inuyasha," Kikyo said as she summoned her Shinidamachuu. Giving Inuyasha one last glance, she was carried off into the sunset, leaving a bewildered love and a bloodstained reincarnation.
The pain hit Kagome like a wall of bricks; it was indescribable. Kagome coughed, desperately trying to get Inuyasha's attention. Her throat constricted as Inuyasha made no move to help her up. She felt like she couldn't speak; she was too horrified.
"Inuyasha…" she managed to croak.
Still, the hanyou couldn't, or wouldn't, hear her, staring off into the direction Kikyo had taken. Kagome looked at Inuyasha fearfully as her world started to spin. 'Help…me…Inuyasha…' were her last conscious thoughts before she blacked out.
::end flashback::
That was 2 weeks ago. Kagome had woken up in Kaede's hut to the anxious faces of Shippou, Sango, Kaede and Miroku. 'No Inuyasha' she thought groggily as she tried to sit up, wincing at the stabbing pain.
"Kagome, don't try to get up! You'll only end up reopening the wound!" Kaede said anxiously.
"No, no, I'm fine, really," Kagome said, wincing, as she fully sat up.
Shippou was the first to speak. "Kagomeeeeeeee, we were so worried about you! Inuyasha brought you in a few hours ago and then he just…left!" Shippou cried, latching on to Kagome's free arm. His shoulders shook as he sobbed in relief. 'Poor thing, he must have been really worried about me,' she thought. 'I wonder how long he was crying…'
"And we don't know when he'll be back," Sango added. 'I bet he's off to find Kikyo,' Kagome thought bitterly, feeling her eyes sting with unshed tears.
A cough snapped her out of her reverie. "Lady Kagome…" Miroku began. Kagome blinked back her tears and turned to face Miroku, trying very hard to not cry out in pain. Miroku looked very serious and grave, a rare occurrence that set off alarm bells ringing in her head.
"Lady Kagome" he began again, sounding unsure of himself, another rarity. "…what happened?" he finished, looking up at her expectantly.
All eyes were on Kagome. Kaede, Shippou, Miroku and Sango were all waiting expectantly for an answer; an answer Kagome could not give them.
Kagome paused. "…Nothing happened, you guys," Kagome lied, wincing at how fake it sounded.
Miroku snorted derisively. "Nothing? You call a deep wound to your shoulder nothing? Only a few more inches and you would have been DEAD, lady Kagome! I don't know about you, but I don't call that nothing!" Miroku said, barely able to contain his frustration. He was about to say more when Sango shoved him rather rudely.
"Urusai, houshi-sama," she hissed, glaring at the irate monk. She turned to face Kagome, concern for her friend clearly shown on her face. "Okay, Kagome. You just stay here and rest; we'll all go find Inuyasha," she said, elbowing Shippou and Miroku. Without another word, the three got up and walked out. Very soon, a resounding thump could be heard, followed by an indignant "What did I do?" from Miroku.
Kaede turned towards Kagome, looking solemn as she addressed her. "Be it nothing or not, you won't be out of bed for at least three more days. I suggest you get some sleep, child. 'Tis better than sitting around doing nothing,"
Kagome nodded. "Hai, Kaede-bachan," she murmured as she lay back down. Her eyelids began to droop, and she fell asleep.
Sango & co. did not return for a week. When they did, they brought back a sullen Inuyasha, who refused to talk to Kagome. Not so much as a passing glance was spared, not even a "keh" was uttered, and Inuyasha gave no indication that he even acknowledged Kagome was there. Well, he did, but it was only to the point where, if she entered the room, he would walk out. Normally, given the circumstances, Kagome and Inuyasha would have had to communicate when hunting the shards, but not a shard had been sensed, and not a youkai had attacked since the incident by the well. Even Naraku remained unusually quiet. His saimyoshou were nowhere to be seen, and his offspring also remained quiet. Despondent, tired and angry, Kagome left to go to her time for a week. Inuyasha didn't stop her, which was the one thing that hurt the most.
So here she was, back in her time, alone for the night, holed up in her room. Her mother, understanding as ever, made sure that she wasn't disturbed by Souta or Jii-chan. Kagome knew that she had to go back to her time; she was going to use her time alone to the best of her abilities. She sat cross-legged on her bed, a pen in one hand and paper in the other. She closed her eyes, thought back to the incident at the well, and began to write.
Pick me up
Been bleeding too long
Right here, right now
I'll stop it somehow
I will make it go away
Can't be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Shut me off
I'm ready
Heart stops
I stand alone
Can't be my own
I will make it go away
Can't be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have done the best I can
Does this make you not a man?
Am I going to leave this place?
What is it I'm running from?
Is there nothing more to come?
Is it always black in space?
Am I going take its place?
Am I going to win this race?
I guess God's up in this place?
What is it that I've become?
Is there something more to come?
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have done the best I can
Does this make you not a man?
Kagome looked over her poem thoughtfully. Setting aside her notebook and pen, she picked up the acoustic guitar she had gotten as a Christmas present. She was meaning to save up for an electric guitar, but in the mean time, she would have to make do with this. Kagome tuned it, played a few chords experimentally, and then began singing. Her voice was charged with anger and grief; the guitar was only an extension of her body as she played and refined the song.
An hour later, exhausted and content, Kagome picked up her notebook. On the top of her page, she wrote "Alone I Break," set aside both her guitar and notebook, and lay down on the bed, asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. She was too tired to even change out of her clothes.
Well, this is a one-shot. If I get 7 reviews, I will continue this, and if not, I will nix it. So please, from one human being (?) to another, review!