Title: Help Yourself Out

Characters: David, Christopher

E-mail: fluffnstuff316@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own these fictional characters. They are property of K.A. Applegate. She owns all. I own nothing, but the idea. Don't sue me, I'm not getting paid for this.

Content: Language and making out

Summary: An idea I got about could've happened after the book. Well, could've if the world went my way. D/C

Christopher's POV

"No, no, no!"

Where is that coming from? That's the second time I heard it. It sounds like David. Probably him. He is in the room next to mine. Probably trying to fend off some beautiful nymphs. Damn jackass, will he ever learn to have fun? Might as well go in and take the nymphs off his hands. I know I love Etain, but she's all the way in Troll land being a queen. I know she can't be faithful to me, she is married to the Troll king. I'm in the beautifully debauched Olympus; I might as well indulge.

"No! Get away!"

That's a lot more slurred than I thought. Maybe the general did have a drink or two. Maybe he'll drop his stupid manly façade and relax. I doubt it. We have to fight in the morning. Damn, I hate that manly act. He's so…. Manly.

I opened the door to David's room. He's lying on the bed thrashing around, kicking the living hell out of the sheets. No one else in there. I ran over by him and tried to shake him awake. He murmured something about a cabin then slowly came around. He opened his eyes slowly and looked shocked when he realized it was me. He quickly put on his manly face and sneered at me. "What's your malfunction? Did you want to wake up the gods?" He muttered a 'Thanks,' but didn't look at me. He looked kind of ashamed.

I had a few jokes stacked up in the back of my mind, but he looked seriously messed up, so I declined the good opportunity. Did I mention he looks kinda cute?

"So, why was the great General Davideous crying in his sleep?" All the Greeks called him that from me. I started it as a joke, but they really call him that. It's the Greek version of our little Jewish hero. He was after all saving their asses from the mutant alien bugs. Why shouldn't he be a hero? Athena's hero no less. And I didn't know he was crying, I guessed. "Shut up, Christopher. I'm not in the mood!" he barked at me. "Damn, you're not a morning person, are you?" I sat at his bed and watched him pace. When did our boy get so muscular? He was wearing some shorts and no shirt and for the first time since I met Ganymede, I was getting attracted to a guy. Ganymede was just fucking gorgeous to every person, regardless of gender. To tell the truth, I had been attracted to David before that. I was scared and so weirded out. I just didn't want to say anything, but it was always there. But I was straight. Maybe it was all the revels and debauchery that was getting to me. Too much vino. That had to be it. But, dammit, David had been getting me hot then. I was fairly sure I was going fucking insane.

I was staring. "What?" he asked giving his stupid manly, intimidating stare. I broke out of my gaze and muttered a 'nothing.' "You know you can leave now," he informed me. "General, you need to loosen up. Go grab a nymph, an elf lady, hell something female. There are a lot of them. Unless, you know, you want something male." That's me. Making gay jokes to a guy that's turning me on. Cover it up. He got real angry and grabbed my shirt. I looked straight into his chocolate brown eyes. I slapped his hand away. He had that dead serious angry look, "Shut the fuck up, Christopher and get the hell out of here." He backed away and I did my best not to look too intimidated or turned on. "What is it with you? I make a joke and you get all huffy. Am I right?" That's it Chris, piss him off some more. This is Everworld, he could kill you and no one would care. Besides Galahad's sword was always an arms-length away from him. "No." He answered quickly. Too quick. "You're not right. I just had a nightmare. I was not crying." Damn, he is such a bad liar. But I guess most heroes don't lie a lot. "Is something bugging you? I didn't even mention crying."

He fell back in a chair and threw his head back. He rubbed his temples, while I admired his chest. Very good. I never noticed he had gotten bigger since we came here. I looked at myself. What do ya know? So had I. Not as much as him, but still. I was still lankier than he was. I looked at him again. His whole chest and stomach was in the flat, pre-definition phase. You know, right before you can see muscle lines. And, interrupting his happy line, he had a circular patch of dark reddish skin right above his belly button. Shit, I can't believe I got buzzed off his happy line. Damn Hetwan. Damn the Hetwan and their stupid Venom Super soakers. I thought about the one on my shoulder. It still hurt. Oh well, it goes away soon enough. "What was your nightmare about?" I broke the tension. He ran his fingers through his hair. It was still dark, but it was getting kind or lighter because of all the time outside. His hair was also getting curly at the ends because his hair was getting longer. Damn, I gotta stop paying attention to his hair.

"What? I want to know. Is that a crime?" I had a wrenching feeling in my gut. I needed to get closer to him. He gave me his hard Clint Eastwood-John Wayne-manliest-man look. Damn I hated that. He had to be manly all the damn time. WHY? I'll be damned if I didn't find out a few seconds later. "Tell me," I said like a teenage girl at a sleepover. "Maybe it'll do me good if I tell someone."

I was all excited to hear this. I didn't know why. Maybe it was the thought of sharing with him and being close to him. I don't know. He moved on the bed. I was lying across the end and he sat up at the headboard. He clenched his teeth, like he had something painful to do. Before I knew it he had a look on his handsome face, like someone just brutally murdered his puppy. He was rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand like he had something in his eye and couldn't get it out. "It's okay," I said. The way and why I said that kind of shocked me. Hey, I didn't know I had a reassuring side to me either. "Damn it, why wasn't I strong enough?" his eyes started watering.

"Uh, I don't know," was all my tired, stupid mind could spit out.

"I just laid there. Some dumb little kid. Hoping that he wouldn't see me or thought I was sleeping. Why?" He started shaking and his whole manly demeanor was gone. He looked like a big little kid with a 5 o'clock shadow. I started to get seriously worried. I had never seen him like that. "Who's he?" I asked to see if he was even consciously aware that I was there.

"Donnie. The counselor. They were asleep. All of them. They couldn't do anything, but I could. I didn't. I just laid there hoping he would leave me alone. He just, just never left. He hurt me bad. I wasn't strong enough. I could've told someone what he did to me. I didn't. I could've stopped…"

He didn't need to finish. I had a pretty good idea of what he was trying to say through sobs. He trailed off there. I felt sick. Very sick. I needed to hurl. Some dumb little kid. How young was he? Ugh, I got sick. I ran over to the window and hoped no one was underneath it. I don't think David even noticed I did. I vomited my supper and I think my lunch. What kind of sick fuck could do that? A counselor? What kind of counselor? A cabin, he said that before. A cabin. Camp. A camp counselor raped David.

No, not a counselor, maybe a guide, or somebody else in charge. Shut up! Why the fuck does it matter?!

"Damn it, why couldn't I have been strong enough. I hate it. I hate him. I hate me. Why? Why didn't he just leave me alone?" He raged on. He was pulling at his hair, sucking in ragged breaths between crying. I looked at him. I had nothing to say. I had no joke to take his mind off it. I couldn't make him forget. I had no way to relate. I had no way to comfort or communicate. I felt sorry for him. That's all I could do.

I thought about all the jokes. All the nagging I did on him. The whole time here in this madhouse, I just left it up to him to save our pansy asses, up until recently. I thought about why he did what he did. The fighting, the manly stares, the heroic deeds. He did them because he wanted to prove to himself or us that he was a man. He wasn't a little kid that got used by some fucked up asshole. He wanted us, or himself, to know, he was David Levin, grade A, first class, top-of-the-line, manly, hero. I felt like an ass. A grade A, first class, top-of-the-line ass for not doing a damn thing. I was just sitting there while our hero was having a nervous breakdown, that not a one of us clueless kids could relate to. I was watching our hero crumble before my eyes I needed to do something.

I'm no expert with dealing with people. I actually tend to piss them off a lot more than I should. It's the jokes. Well, even my stupidest brain cell knew not to make up a joke right now. I was sure that the part of my brain that makes my entire racist, sexist, and gay jokes would be on overtime later. That's a big problem though. I'm trying to be politically correct, but when you're stuck in a giant murder factory with a girl, a black guy, and a Jew, it's really hard not to make a joke like that occasionally. Well I went to the task at hand. I crawled up to David. It was strange I've never seen him so distraught. He cried in fear when we were going to get killed by Loki, we all did. But this was very different. The overwhelming look of pain and sadness was cemented in his dark eyes. I sat by him, very uncomfortably, I told him to look at me, and "It's not your fault you don't need to blame yourself. Anyone that does that deserves to go to jail, or Hel. Hel, yeah send 'em to that bitch." I made my very lame attempt at a joke, not even a joke, a slight mood lightener, to lighten the mood a little. He noticed I was by him and he stiffened up. He stopped what little noise he was making, and tried to stop the tears. There was a deathly silence. Sat in silence for long minutes.

The silence scared me. "Hey David, you don't need to be mad at yourself. It wasn't your fault. How old were you?" He didn't answer. "Maybe this did you good. Maybe you needed to talk about it." I went on babbling stuff for a few minutes more. For all I know I could've been reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, but I know it was in a comforting tone. That made me kind of happy with myself. I kept up my comfort babbles until he got pissed. "SHUT UP! Shut up, Christopher. I don't want to hear it and get away from me." I resented that. I was trying to help. I got pissed, cause that's what I do first. It doesn't always workout when you have two hotheaded ignorant asses trying to work together. What a surprise! "What's your problem? I'm just trying to help you."

"I don't need help." I rolled my eyes.

"You need help and lots of it." I got to go back to my room. I was pissed that I got up to waste my time trying to help him. I was headed for the door. "Wait." I grinned and turned. "Yes."

"I'm sorry. It's hard to deal with. I just get pissed. I didn't mean to take it out on you." Even through the apology, he adjusted back into his manly self again. I made an exasperated sigh.

"What?" he asked a confused look across his face.

"David, you told me what was wrong. You don't have to act all manly again." His confused look slightly slipped into, not anger, but defense. "You know, your hero wanna-be façade, your 'manlier-than-the-rest' face, your cute little annoying act. That one."

He got confused again and I was really amazed by his facial expressions. "I don't know what you're talking about," he confessed.

"Why do you have to be the hero all the time?" I asked a little angrier than I intended. I guess I was mad at him for awhile, because the hero always gets the chick. That's what girls like, apparently I like that too.

"Why do I have to be the hero all the time? I don't know. You tell me why. I never volunteered. I never knew what kind of shit we'd get into. You tell me."

It hit me like a ton of bricks; he was the hero, because he was there. He was it because he looked the part, kind of. He did it because he's messed up enough to think he had to prove himself by saving everyone's asses. He was it because we blamed him. He was it because he was David. But I'm not going to let him fool me, he liked it. He wanted to be Galahad. He wanted to be the hero valiantly saving the damsel in distress or saving the world from god-eating aliens. God, I wanted him. No I couldn't have been thinking that. I was straight. I was the straight, good-looking horn dog. Where's a nymph to impress when you need one? I was supposed to go screw off while he was supposed to fight the dragons, Ka Anors, Loki's and any other monstrosities of this fucked up Asylum. I was not supposed to want to screw him. Or him me. Or… no! That's just… wrong? Yeah, it was wrong. Then again, we ain't in Kansas anymore, Toto, or Chicago for that matter. We were in the Everworld Loony Bin. Where if it was okay for African Gods to make you walk around in an upside down world if you didn't sacrifice sheep, I guess its okay if I like a guy.

I thought about how I should maybe bring this around without having him totally freaked out. He thought I was thinking of an answer to his 'You tell me, Christopher' challenge. Talk about losing track of the topic. He had an angry smug look on his face. He was the hero, almost Mr. Perfect with a self-hatred problem. I was bad boy turned good guy turned bad boy again with a drinking problem, because I couldn't have Etain. He was short, muscular, over all dark complected, and manly. I was tall, lean-muscled, blonde, blue-eyed, lighter skin, and comical. He had a stick up his ass the size of an Elm tree. I was a party animal. He was a fighter, a general, and a natural leader. I was pretty much a coward with big talk, but I looked so damn good. Why did I like our hero so much? I never liked the heroes in movies. 'Cause I changed? I wasn't a coward anymore. I could right along with the rest of 'em. Why him? Why any guy? Is it really that big of a deal? No, I really don't think so. And, I think I'm giving him too much credit.

He was standing in front of me, just waiting for me to say something. I honestly didn't know what to say. 'Hey, sorry what happened and about your complex and everything, but you are the hero. Not me. It's not my job to care.' No, I don't think so, 'cause I do care, somewhat. Or I could say, 'Hey, you know what's weird. Donnie and me have something in common.' NO! I felt sick comparing myself to that sick fuck. I am not like that.

I didn't know what to say. So, I kissed him. Lame way to get out of things, I know. Well, maybe it's not so bad. I kissed him. At first fast to his lips, then I lingered and pulled away slowly. I guess I surprised him, and me.

"Wha?" He looked really confused.

"I don't know," I said a little dazed. Apparently, I did surprise myself.

"Why…"

"I don't know."

Damn. I got myself in a hole. Now what was I going to do? I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know I was going to do that, really. I guess that's how you do all the gutsy things in life, not thinking. Otherwise you spend too much time debating it than actually doing it.

I wanted to say something, but I was at a loss for words. First time in a long time. I couldn't sweep him off his feet or kiss him again, 'cause things just didn't work that way. And the confused, sorta grossed out look on his face wasn't encouraging either. At least he wasn't beating the shit out of me. Then again, I'd been in Everworld for quite some time. I didn't think I could get anymore shit beaten out of me.

To my complete surprise, it was David who said something first, but it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"Why'd you do that?" He asked. He didn't sound completely disgusted, but he didn't sound overjoyed either.

"Um, I, don't know why. It was just weird."

"I'll say."

Hey!

"Yeah, it was weird."

Do something. Now. It was way beyond the 'uncomfortable silence' phase. Most definitely. It was more like a 'Oh god, smite me down now' tone. I can't believe they had this in Everworld. I mean, Zeus should strike up some music every time somebody says something stupid, or fucks up like this. 'Wilma, will you marry me?' 'Um, no Fred.' 'Baby got back…' Yeah, right.

Do something! NOW!

"So, did you like it?" NO! Oh, shit… So the wrong choice of words. And then I felt like such a girl! Damn, that was stupid. He's gonna say no and be disgusted with me. He's gonna hate me and oh my god I hate *this.*

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, wasn't bad. Definitely a first time in that department."

Really? Wasn't that bad? He looked a little weird. Well no wonder you stupid fuck. He's never kissed a guy, but he's been rap—fucked. Oh shit.

"Well," he says.

"Well."

"This wasn't what I was expecting tonight. You?" He laughed sort of.

"Well."

"What happens now?" Wasn't he the awfully chatty one that night?

"I don't know. We could either forget this ever happened and do something manly or we could go on further with the weird kissing… stuff. Yeah, um, what do you think?"

Damn, aren't I just the generous one with giving him the option to totally make me feel like shit. Or make me feel good. Whoa, this is so an overload. Don't wanna do this. Never should've started it. Beam me back, Scotty. Yes Alex, I'd 'Cowards' for 400. And it's a Daily Double. This is what goes on in my mind when I'm freaked. You don't want to be here. The weird kissing… stuff. Stuff? What's up with that? I needed to say something. I just can't say kissing and refer to David at the same time. It's way too weird. I wanna go home!

He looks like he's in deep thought. Which really isn't much different than his hero look. It's just in his eyes. I really like his eyes. Oh gah! Just shut up, Chris! Why wasn't he answering? What was taking so damn long? Then he looked at me. If looks could kill, I wouldn't be dead. I'd be healthy and prosperous. Oh man. He put his hand on my shoulder. Oh man. Then he moved it to the base of my neck. Oh jeez. Then he stepped closer. Oh damn. Then he smiled. Oh shit. Then he kissed me. Fuck!

He leaned into me and put his other hand at the base of my spine. Oh, my god. If you have to describe a good feeling, that's one. Just the tingles sent down your body at a touch, right there is the right place for it. His other hand was kind of in my hair. His fingers, kind of twirling in my short strands, just sent those good reverberations down my spine and made my shiver. Good sweet Mike! I swear his hands were the only things keeping me from falling on my ass. His leg was rubbing against mine. Not intentionally, but just because he's shorter and has bigger legs. That was also something new. There was the kissing part too. Even not trying, he was more aggressive than girls were. It was different. He was over using his tongue, which was good for the time being; otherwise I would've been blown away. His tongue never actually went in my mouth, just sort of touched my lips. Oh, and his lips, definitely bigger than mine. Which was something familiar from kissing girls. But he was so different, and it just felt so good. It was like so different and weird, but… weird can be good.

I hadn't figured out where to put my hands. I was still thinking that he's a guy and I couldn't put my hands and the same place I'd put on a girl. The height difference thing is normal. I always dated girls that are shorter than me. But he's had more muscle. He was wider. And just it was totally new. No curves, just angles and planes and flatness. Except the curve around his pecs, and his thigh muscles. Big, ropy thigh muscles. And because I'm taller than he is, I could see down his back. His ass was definitely not flat. Nice and, well, right. Well, I figure I could just put my hands on his back. But it's bare. Hey, nothing' wrong with that. I like skin. I slowly move my right hand down his back and I just rest it on his hip. My thumb worked its way under his drawstring waste band and I feel that bone. You know, those bones that jut out if you're skinny or in good enough shape. That V-thing. Has something to do with your hips. It felt good rubbing the smooth skin stretched out right above that bone. My other hand moved up and curled around his shoulder. My fingers grazed his shoulder muscles. It felt so good. I wondered if I was giving him those tingly things that he gave me. Man, I was turning into a girl.

Then we had to stop. Hard time breathing after awhile. I noticed I had forgotten a lot of things. Number one, why I had come into his room in the place. Number two, the whole thing about had flew out my brain. Number three, Everworld. Number four, Etain. Number five, north, south, up, down. Number six, alphabet. I could go on. I think it came back to me by the next day. I saw myself in a mirror. My hair was slightly messy. My bottom lip was red. I looked happy. I looked at David. He looked similar. But very cute. Damn, that was girly.

He looked at me. I looked at him. We both backed up a little.

"Well," he said.

"Well."

"What do we do now?"

Ha! My turn to not answer.

I grabbed him by the forearm and dragged him over by the bed. He looked like he was going to say something, but I pushed him on the bed. I laid down by him and said, "Go to sleep, Napoleon." Then, I fell asleep. I don't know if I fell asleep before him, probably, but I did. And I went on to live another day. And in between battling the forces of evil, a.k.a. Hetwan, Everworld's daily crazy fun fest, and driving myself insane by doing stuff like crushing on David, that's a pretty spectacular feat.

The End

H*QT pie: So, how was my 1st Everworld fic? Review, please!!! Criticize! Just tell me how it was! I live for feedback!

Raven muse: It'd be more believable if you said you'd kill for feedback.

H*QT pie: Go away. This is the 'Everworld' section. Not the 'sexy, psycho, sadistic wrestler' section. Go away.

Raven muse: You're so equivocal. One minute you're all 'Raven I've missed you,' then you're like, 'Go away, bitch.' Make up your goddamn mind woman.

H*QT pie: Go away, Rave. Review my story, please!