Here's my angsty, "beat-up Will and make him suffer terribly" fic...but with a twist. Read on my fellow fanficers and enjoy (I hope).
PLEASE REVIEW WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED READING!
NB: Please be aware that I don't have much against those fanfics out there which do involve beating up Will/making him sick/killing him, I just couldn't pass by the oppertunity to let Will have his say :D
Will lay slumped on his back staring up at the dark stormy sky, his brown eyes usually so alight and vibrant with life where now glazed and glassy.
His chest rose and fell slowly as he took in shallow ragged breaths which shook his whole body in an effort to get oxygen.
The tried to move but as soon as he rose the world swam and spun around him so he collapsed back into the damp grass, moaning as waves of pain washed through him; he touched his chest and held up his hand in front of his face.
It was slick with blood, his blood.
Will felt nauseous as he stared at the dark liquid and slowly lowered his hand to the ground. How much effort it had been to just raise a hand had scared him, he blinked slowly feeling tired, blackness fringed his vision. Slowly it dawned on him that he was dying.
Will: Wait, I really need to cut in here.
Author: Excuse me?
Will: I appreciate that you want to make a fanfic which has me as the main character but does it have to be one where I die?
Author: Well...
Will: I mean, there are loads of fanfics out there which involve me dying slowly, can't you have me doing something else? Or at least have the decency to kill me quickly in a really heroic manner.
Author: If you want...
Will: One more thing, why does everyone seem to forget that it would devestating for Alyss, Halt and Horace if I died not to mention all my other friends...
Author: That's not fair, I was going to have some grief in here! Now would you kindly go away!
Will: *Pulls out saxe knife and holds it up to the light to examine it*
Author: Awesome, a fanfic which doesn't involve you dying no problem.
Angsty Fanfic Take II
Will grunted with pain as the fist slammed into his stomach driving out all the breath in his lungs. He gasped, momentarily unable to breathe in. Will coughed and spat out some blood, his lip had split. The man in front of him drew back his beefy fist again and before Will could prepare himself-
Will: Woah, woah woah! Seriously?
Author: What?!
Will: Can I just point out that there over 100 ansty fanfics out there that involve me being in some physical/emotional pain, is it aboslutely neccesary to continue beating me up when it's already happened that many times?
Author: Urm...
Will: And another thing, how comes no-one beats up Horace?
Horace: *appears in a poof of smoke* Hey, aren't we supposed to be friends?
Will: Well...yeah, but it's a bit unfair itsn't it that I get beaten up and killed way more times than you do...
Horace: Why is that?
Will: *sighs sadly* I have no idea whatsoever, it just seems really unfair, that's all, what have I ever done to them?
Author: *timidly* We're just making up for the lack of you being beaten up/injured in the books.
Will: Shouldn't it be a good thing that I'm not getting injured in the books? It just helps to re-enforce how awesome I am.
Horace: *eyeroll* What about that time in Arridi? And what about when...
Will: *narrows eyes* I'm not the one who got knocked unconscious by a Genovesan, or broke a rib by falling off a bridge, or...
Author: *glares*
Will: *clears throat* Anyway, as I said, me not being injured in the books is a very good thing.
Author: Still...
Will: Could we please have a non-torture fanfic alread?
Author: But...
Will: *narrows eyes and plucks bow string threatingly*
Author: *sighs*
Angsty Fanfic Take III
Will ducked as the club flew over his head, his hairs stood on end as he heard the hiss of air as it passed by. He gulped straightening up, he held in hand a throwing knife, it was all he had left.
He'd been on a routine trip to stop a group of bandits who had taken advantage of the recent Ranger Gathering to cause havoc in the fief of Redmont. It had all been going well. Will had emerged from the trees after finding their base camp, gone through the usual procedure of announcing who he was and threatning to shoot anyone who made a move he didn't like. It had been going well up to that point.
Will: *groans* You're making me sound...
Author: SHUT UP!
Will: ...
It all went downhill when a bandit stepped out of the cover the trees behind Will. The young ranger turned around automatically and for a moment the two stared at each other blankly before Will sprang into action. But the damage had been done. As Will loosed off a shot which took down the bandit the others in the camp had grabed their weapons and made a desperate charge for Will.
The ranger had loosed off an arrow which took down another bandit and immediatly followed it up with another. A few sensible group members had surrender at that point, self-preservation conquering their initial fighting spirit.
However, not all laid down their weapons, three continued to come at Will, one armed with a rusty, battered mace and chain which he swung at the ranger with a fearsome cry. Will leaped back, unable to snatch out an arrow from his quiver. Instead he pulled out his throwing knife and hurled it at the man who collapsed to the ground with a groan.
Will: *chuckles* Am I awesome or what?
Horace: *headpalm*
Author: Would you just please please please stop interrupting my story?
Will reached for an arrow again but a sword came hurtling towards him forcing the young man to back up hastily. Will assessed the situation, two men were remaining, one armed with a sword the other a club. They were both massively built but looked a little unceratin, only natural, thought Will, they were used to facing frightened travellers, most only armed with a staff or battered dagger, not a Ranger, seemingly unafraid, armed with a massive bow, a quiver of arrows and knives (or now, knife).
Will's eyes flicked from one man to the other, the man with the club was the one to watch out for, he decided, he seemed more sure of himself than the other. With that in mind Will made to reach for his quiver but was stopped as the swordman flicked the weapon at him. Will allowed his hand to fall to his pocket as he manouvered out the way and in a blur of movement pulled out a striker, he'd assembled them all before coming out today just in case. He was very glad he'd done so.
The Ranger feinted at the swordsman who flinched, his guard momentarily dropping which allowed Will to dart in and throw the striker. The brass piece struck the bandit in the centre of his forehead and he collapsed to the ground like a felled tree. Will didn't wait to see this having to quickly dart out the way yet again as the club club flew over his head, his hairs stood on end as he heard the hiss of air as it passed by. He gulped straightening up, he held in hand a saxe knife it was all he had left besides his bow which was useless at the moment.
The man suddenly lunged forward swinging the club with surprising deftness, left, right, downwards. Will had to back up, ducking and leaping as the club hissed through the air at times only centimetres from him.
Behind his feet was the root of a tree which protruded slightly from the ground, it had been there for years and was hardened and tough.
Horace: I like how we get the whole history of a tree root in these scenes, it's quite nice actually.
Will: *narrows eyes suspiciously* I don't, this isn't going a good way.
Horace: Yeah, if we get the history of a twig it generally means some vital character is going to trip over it...or the author's just bored...
Author *grits teeth*
As Will stepped back again his foot caught against it knocking him slightly off balance, it wasn't much but it was enough. The bandit swung his club at Will and the ranger was caught out, that small lapse in concentration costing him dearly.
The solid, un-yeilding wood hit him in the head and he collapsed to the ground as pain exploded behind his eyes.
Groaning the fought to stay conscious. The bandit was stood in front of him. He was smiling as he rose his club up for one last time. Will's grip on the saxe tightened. One last chance. With a cry he lunged forward, the saxe knife flashing in the sun as he covered the few inches towards the bandit and rammed home the weapon.
With a gasp the bandit dropped his club where it landed on the ground with a dull thump. He stood there for a few moments swaying, fingers clasping his chest, staring blankly at Will before hitting the ground. Dead.
Will slowly fell to his knees, clutching at his head. Blood was trickling down his face and into his eyes but he didn't notice this.
The pain shut everything out.
Everything.
Will: *sighs* And yet again I get knocked unconscious...
Horace: *grins* I prefer the ones where you catch some illness by smooching Alyss.
Will: *goes bright red* Do you mind?
Horace: *smirks*
Author: *taps foot impatienly* So, can I continue?
Will: You're not finished?
Author: *grits teeth* I'd be finished by now if you hadn't interrupted.
Will: And I'd be dead.
Horace: *nods* And I wouldn't have had the chance to lodge my complaint.
Author: *groans* What complaint?
Horace: *blankly* You didn't hear me?
Will: Of course they didn't, not over the sound of how awesome I am!
Fanfic Readers: But you just got knocked unconscious.
Will: *scowls*
Author: So what complaint?
Horace: *clears throat* Well it's more of an inquiry...how comes no-one really beats me up in fanfics?
Will: You are not worthy!
Horace: *tries to restrain self*
Author: *in sickly sweet voice* Could I please go back to my fanfic writing?
Will slowly swam back into consciousness, his head throbbed and pounded as waves of pain washed over him...
Horace: What's with this "waves of pain" thing?
Will: *shrugs* Dunno, poetic license?
Author: *tries to restrain self* Fine then, how about this?
Will slowly swam back into consciousness, his head throbbed and pounded, he tried to move then froze as pain coursed through his temples. He must have groaned because he heard the sound of booted feet striking the floor as someone came and grabbed his hand.
'Will?' said a familar, concerned voice, 'can you hear me?'
Will slowly opened his eyes, wincing and shutting them again as light flooded his vision, 'Yes Halt,' he whispered, 'I can.'
Halt was speaking again but Will wasn't listening, he felt himself sliding back into unconsciousness unable to hold out against the pain any longer-
Will: I thought we'd agreed - no torture!
Author: *weakly* This isn't torture!
Will: I beg to differ.
Horace: Well, it does sound rather painful so I agree with Will...
Author: *sobs*
Will: See, you can't disagree.
Horace: Yup, being knocked unconscious is a very painful experience...
Will: And if you don't agree we could always knock you out and see'f you concur when you wake up.
Author: *screams* HOW ABOUT THIS THEN!
Angsty Fanfic Take IV
Will went out to stop a group of bandits.
He beat them all up.
One gave him a massive cut on the arm.
It bled a lot.
Will laughed it off saying 'it'll leave an awesome scar to show my girlfriend' and knocked the guy unconscious with his little toe.
He then tied them all up with some rope which magically appeared out of nowhere.
He left them tied upside down from a tree. (Accomplished by slinging each bandit over his shoulder and throwing them over a branch several meters up).
He then climbed on Tug and rode off into the sunset (despite it being noon).
With no pain, nothing at all despite the massive gash in his shoulder.
Will: *nods approvingly* That's more like it. I go and kick the guy's backsides, leave them all trussed up and then ride off, and even got a nice painless cut which will leave an impresive scar. Some injuries for hurt/comfort/angst fans and no pain for me, everyone is happy.
Horace: *is doubtful*
Author: *eyes are glazed*
Will: But I do think that some improve...
Author: *leaps to feet screaming*
Horace: Oh! Is that the time? Must be off. *scurries away*
Author: *rugby tackles Will and pins him on the floor*
Halt: *calmly walks in and clears throat* Due to excessive use of violence in the following episode, this scene has been censored for convenience of the audience due to the M rating this fanfic would receive, we apologise for any inconvenience that may have been caused. Thank-you.
THE END :D
So, what did you think? I'm rubbish at checking for typos so sorry if there are any really blindingly obvious ones in there (I always miss those when I'm going over it...)
Please review (I love reviews :-) )