I don't own Marvel or Loki.

Warnings, AN: Possibly a little triggering for themes of death, as you may have gathered from the imagine. Sorry for any feels… Hope this is what the imagine was looking for :)

Loki walked through the streets of her home town on Midgard, he carried a solemn air about him as the worrisome thoughts in his head pressed into his chest. She hadn't been in his life for long, though he supposed, to her it was almost half her life, but for him, it felt like they'd met only yesterday.

That had probably been the best day of his life. Loki had been experimenting with the idea that one could travel through the fabric of space using alternative means of travel besides the Bifrost. He'd discovered these cracks some time ago, hidden sparingly throughout Asgard, from the obscure shadows of the far mountains, to the rolling pebbles that seemed to fall into nothing beneath shimmering river beds.

There had been one particular gateway between the worlds that had changed Loki's life forever. The one that lead to Midgard. He would only rarely ever pass through the ambiguous pathways, as there was no telling what was on the other side, and Loki had fallen through this one quite by accident. It was then that he'd met her, standing before him with mouth agape and wide piercing eyes full of shock. She tried to run away out of fear, but Loki had stopped her. It had taken time to convince her he wasn't going to harm her, but once a trust had been cemented, it was easy for Loki to fall into a deeper connection with her. Much easier than he'd ever thought possible, and it had scared him at first. It had scared him so much that he'd tried to walk away and leave her, move on before she had the chance to walk away first. But he couldn't, and after some tears and confessions of mutual affection and dependence on one another, it became impossible to let go.

It had been perfect really, everything just seemed to fit for Loki once she was with him. He'd convinced her to come with him and settle on Asgard. She'd been living away from her family in the first place, and it was easy for her to stay in Asgard, but she always requested to visit on her loved ones. Odin had taken time to warm up to her, but Frigga had welcomed her with open arms, almost adopting her as the daughter she'd always wanted. They'd been living in their own blissful dream for a number of years before Loki was awakened to a truth he'd always known, but had never considered until recently. She was mortal.

They'd been out on their usual evening walks on one of the many promenades along the Asgardian coasts when she'd requested that they turn in early. She complained of sore joints after riding that morning, and fatigue had been getting the better of her in the past few days. Loki was also worried that she'd concealed some her her ailments from him so as to not provoke his concerns. When he'd asked why she'd been feeling this way for some time now, she merely gave a sad smile and said, "well I'm growing old, Loki."

Growing old she was. While he looked as young as the day they'd met, she was some sixteen years older than when he'd first looked upon her face. She didn't look all that different, and it hadn't bothered Loki when she'd developed her first string of silver hair, it would never matter what she looked like, because he would love her regardless. What had bothered Loki was the feeling that she was moving too fast, that she was getting further away from him and ever closer to her grave. He was going to lose her one day, and that one day would much come too soon for his heart to take.

So Loki had searched, he'd delved into the history of the Æsir, discovering where his immortality stemmed from. It hadn't taken long for him to discover that the Æsir had once relied on the Golden Apples of the World Tree to grant them long youthful lives. That's how they'd originally grown to be the deities they're known to be today. With this, Loki knew what he had to do, and confronted his mortal companion about a possible solution, but it hadn't gone as well as he'd expected;

"I am offering you a way out, a way we can truly be together!"

"You're not listening to me Loki! I want to live my natural life, I was born mortal and I will die mortal. I don't deserve to be granted any gifts of immortality when those on Earth aren't. It would be unfair to my family and friends and those I love! I can't watch them all die before me, Loki! I can't leave them behind!" Her voice had punched through the room and into his chest,

"But you'd be leaving me." He almost whispered through the previously energised air, and that broke her, it broke both of them.

"I'm sorry," was all she managed through a swift heavy breath and watery eyes.

He tried to respect her decision, he wanted to, but it was endlessly hard; he was suddenly all too aware of time. Loki wasn't quite sure why he came here, to her home town, the place they'd first met. To reminisce maybe, or to better understand her life before he'd arrived in it, it's what he'd come here for in the past. Or maybe this time it was to better understand the mortality of Migardians; to better understand how death is processed by them.

Strolling up to the large local hospital in his usual Midgardian attire, Loki decided that this would be the place to find out more. He'd used his magical skill to mask his identity and disguise himself as an ordinary doctor, passing through the hospital as an inconspicuous figure amongst many others in this busy workplace.

As he passed by the countless patient's rooms, he stopped to overhear their stories. One little girl had been very exited to go home with her parents, broken arm in a cast, but a smile on her face. Another man had just woken from surgery, muttering through half consciousness as his relieved wife smiled at him, hands clasped onto his. Some were not so fortunate. He heard one of the staff explain to two parents that their daughter had died in surgery because a complication. Another scene Loki came across was the family of a man tearing up as they decided that after all these years, it was time to turn off their loved one's life support, as they lost all hope of him walking from his coma. Another incident involved an adolescent who'd died just a few minutes after arriving at the hospital following a terrible car crash.

However, it was the last thing he saw that hurt the most for him. It was an elderly woman laying in her death bed. She was smiling, she seemed happy with the time she had and content with the family that had grown around her. She was only in the company of a younger woman, her daughter most likely. The daughter was visibly upset, but her mother assured her that everything has it's time and she was glad she'd been blessed with a daughter like her. Not long later her failing heart retired and she died ultimately of her old age. Loki could protect the woman he loved most of all, he could save her fragile Midgardian body from accidents and injuries, defend her from dangers and provide a warm heart to rely on, but he couldn't protect her from her own mortality. That hurt. It hurt that one day she would be that much loved old woman, fading away, and without him.

He couldn't do it, he wasn't strong enough. He couldn't comprehend life after her, and he knew what he had to do.

"Loki, I never thought I would see your sly face again, not after the last time you caused havoc for me."

"As I recall, Idunn, I saved you from that abominable jotun," Loki replied with a knowing and playful smile,

"Yes, that was, of course, after you lured me into his trap in the first place."

"Minor details, minor details... and I have already expressed my sincerest apologies. But I am not here to discuss the past. I have not come for mischief either, I merely ask that you grant me one of your renowned Golden Apples."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why would you need a Golden Apple? You already possess the lifetime of a god." Idunn inquired, curiosity edged into her brow, "Ohhh, I see. There's a woman isn't there."

"What? What would make you say that?"

"You are not as tactful as you think you are Loki, I can see the truth in your eyes." She smiled in amusement at him, then thinking for a moment, she decided; "All right. I'll give you an Apple. It would appear the nine realms are more at peace since this woman seems to have grounded you somewhat. However, I do not take this lightly Loki, you owe me a great debt."

"Of course," Loki nodded in agreement before the youthful woman before him turned to approach the World Tree, claiming one of the giant apples in her palm.

"She had better be worth it," Idunn stated, handing the apple to Loki. She is, he thought.

A full and bright smile had lit her face when Loki had told her he wanted to try something different for supper that evening by deciding to cook for her, "what a lucky girl I am!" she'd said. Loki smiled at seeing her so happy, but it also masked the guilt he felt inside. He knew she wouldn't be so happy with him later that night. He hoped she'd be able to forgive him.

After a delicious meal consisting of chicken breast, roasted vegetables and a little wine, Loki said he had one more course for her to try. They'd spent the evening in the warm air, talking and laughing as they ate their food and enjoyed each others company. Until that point, Loki had been lightly nervous, but had managed to hold it together, but now, with a slice of golden, crisp apple pie before him and his lover, he became down right agitated.

"Are you okay, Loki?" She asked, curious that he never acted like this, apart from maybe the first time he kissed her.

"Y-yes love, just- just try some of your pie. I spent longer than I'd care to admit making it." Loki finished with a slightly forced sad smile. The woman across him didn't know what to say, if there was something wrong, she trusted Loki would tell her. With a concerned expression she silently agreed and took her first mouthful from her fork. Loki was too uneasy and heavy with imposing guilt to even try to eat. He'd never done anything like this before. Of course he'd caused mischief and deceived people many times, but never her. He never needed to. She trusted him.

"Aren't you going to have some? This tastes amazing."

"I- I mean," Loki had to take a deep breath and swallow, "do you remember what I said about the abilities of the Golden Apples..."

"Yes, you said that if you where able to find Idunn, they might be able to give me immortality, but I said-" and then she seamed to realise with a glance to her plate, "-no." She then looked up to Loki, pleading with her eyes for him to tell her what he knew she was thinking as wrong, that he hadn't done what he was suggesting. Loki only confirmed her suspicion by losing the strength to speak and simply looking the his feet. Her mouth fell open to a small 'o' shape, but not like the same shocked expression she had when they'd first met. True, there was fear visible in her face back then, but also the light of adventure in her eyes at having something so abrupt and exiting pop into her life.

Now was different though, now she was shocked in a different way. There was a sense on pain in her face now, pain at the prospect of Loki's betrayal and blatant denial of her wishes. She'd made her decision clear, and he'd defied that, and as the truth of the situation set in, her face paled a little and her ears went red in anger and shock. She took a deep shaky breath as she started to feel the magic filling her from her core to her skin.

"Love, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I just, I couldn't handle the thought of being without you-" She couldn't even look at him as she stood from her seat. She understood why he'd done it. She doesn't think she'd be able to live without him either, and it wasn't like she wanted to leave Loki, but she thought she had the choice to dictate her own life. She decided she needed to be alone now. Before Loki could gather his words into the heavy breath in his lungs, she stormed off out of their chambers.

She didn't come back that night. Loki didn't look for her. He knew that from now on their relationship would be on her terms, and if she wanted space, he'd give her space, and if she wanted to leave him... then she could leave him, so long as she was alive. But Norns Loki hoped she could find a way to forgive him.