Peter loves feeling the wind around him as he swings through the city - his city, he likes to think, the city he is keeping makes him feel powerful, like he is actually able to play a role in helping people.
Feeling the wind all around him makes him feel free, free from the weight of being Spider-Man, of being Peter Parker, of being , and it's as if he is living in a different kind of reality, just for a moment.
And then the feeling of power causes a memory to resurface, his uncle telling him how "with great power comes great responsibility," and it all comes crashing down on him, the weight of the world, or maybe not of the world, because that's the job of people like the Avengers, but the weight of his city that he is trying to protect.
And just like that, reality catches up with him, every time.
The wind is not so fun when the Vulture raises him higher and higher and then just drops him. The wind is cold and stings and makes his eyes tear up even with the suit.
On the plane, it's even worse, and he is just wishing for it to end, because people can't imagine what it feels like to be defenseless against the wind, at the speed of a plane, but Peter can, and it hurts and it's awful and there's absolutely nothing exciting about it.
And he realizes that this is bigger than anything he's done before, bigger than him, perhaps, and maybe he can't do this after all, can't keep up with the responsibility of keeping his city safe, he can't-
But miraculously, he can.
He is sore and bruised and hurts all over, and all he wants is to drop to the ground and go to sleep, or maybe just go home first, and he feels pride, but even stronger is the fear, the anxiety, as he thinks about how he very nearly failed.
Wonders about how the Avengers are able to sleep at night, with the weight on their shoulders.
And then Mr. Stark offers him a spot on the Avengers, and it's everything he's ever dreamt of, and he declines.
Because he doesn't think he is able to take on this sort of responsibility, not now, maybe not ever, he can't.
I wrote this little ficlet when I gave myself the goal to write a drabble at least every day for a month, so it's nothing special and pretty much straight from my mind, but comments and kudos still mean a lot to me, so let me know if you liked it maybe.