I watch as Ellis walks down the path to our trailer. Our makeshift… dare I use the word? Home. There, I said it. I could almost chuckle. Who would have ever thought that I would live in a trailer? Hell, I still can't believe it.

I was watching him from the small, clouded window. Soon he would open that door and just hug me. He would then start talking about his day at the base and then we would eat dinner.

I chuckle at how easy it was for me to fall in to some sort of routine. I don't think I had ever truly stuck to a routine in my whole life.

Now I was in one with the person I would die for.

The doorknob turned, door opening. Ellis stood there smiling, causing me to smile back.

"Nick" he hugs me and presses a soft kiss to my cheek. "How are yuh?"

"I'm good" I reply, I hold him tight.

There was no way I could ever admit to him that I sat at the window all day waiting for him. That would be too humiliating and so out of character. And I knew it would make Ellis worry.

"How was your day?" I ask him, breaking the small silence I had created with my somewhat vague answer.

"Well, it was jus' fine" he grins. "I won't bore yuh with the details- oh! I saw Ro today. They are gon' set up a news program and she is gonna be on it! How cool is that?"

I nod in agreement. "Yeah, that's great. She deserves it."

"'s what I said!" he kisses my forehead. "Also picked up tomorrows rations." He shows me the paper bag.

"Thanks."

"Nick."

"Mm?"

"Yuh ok?"

I nod. "Just fine."

"But fine doesn't mean good."

"Does to me. Anyway, you said your day was 'jus' fine'."

"Be honest now" he ignores the last line.

"I am" I groan.

He just smiles. "Yuh want me ta cook?"

I shrug. "I should probably do something other than sit here and look pretty."

Ellis chuckles. "But'chu do that so well."

I roll my eyes and run my fingers through my greying hair. "Whatever you say sport."

He kisses my forehead. "I'll cook."

"Ok." I lean back in my chair.

What would Ellis say if I told him all I did was sit in this chair and wait for him to get home?

I sigh.

Ellis looks around from the stove. "Yuh ok with beans?"

"Nope."

"Too bad. Tha's all we got."

"Shit."

"I know."

We both smile.

At least we can now.

What would Ellis think of me just sitting here, waiting for him?

"I love yuh Nick."

"I love you too Ellis."

He smiles, his eyes glistening. "I was lucky today."

"What?" I could feel my heart beating faster.

"I got us tomatoes for tomorrow." He holds up a tin. "Last one in the compound too."

I feel relieved. "How did you get that?" I ask, curious. Most of the guards are the real asshole type. Guess I'm not one to talk…

"Started tellin' the food man-"

"Oh god. Not a Keith story" I groan.

"Nick! I told him about ."

I look at the chair I am in. I can't look up.

This wasn't routine and I couldn't handle it.

"I told him 'bout when we met… to the time I didn't think I'd see yuh again." He swallowed hard. "Sorry."

"-fine" I choke out.

"Nick?" he frowns, worry plastered on his beautiful face. Worry doesn't suit him.

"Mm?" I manage.

He hugs me.

I sigh, letting the tears fall down my face as I hug him back.

Ellis wouldn't mind if I sat at the window every day and waited for him. Sure he would worry, but he would know it was my way to cope.

"Nick, I love yuh so much." He starts rubbing my back.

"I know." I hold him tighter. I never want to let him go at this moment.

"And I know this last year has been tough."

"Ellis" I whisper. "Ellis."

"So, I asked the guys at the office over yonder if we could try and get us one o' them cabins. Now I know I's real nice in this here van-"

I chuckle.

"-but I think yuh mus' be crowded in here."

"You asked? What did theysay?"

"They are definitely lookin' into it. Guess cause I do most o' their mechanical work at the moment. Maybe i's finally payin' off."

"Y-you… are doing this… for me?"

"Yep. I love yuh Nick."

"I love you too."

Ellis stands back up and returns to the stove to check the food he has been neglecting. He turns the heat off and looks at me, smiling that smile that I fell in love with all that time ago. "Tomorrow I'mma make soup."

I grin. "Sounds good."

"Jus' real quick, how is that ramp I made yuh holdin' up?"

I look at the door. "Yeah… it's good. Thank you."

"Good, good. Yuh wanna eat outside? It's a nice day out."

"Yeah, I would like that."

"Yuh want some help?"

I nod.

This was routine after all.

"Please."

"Okay!" he responds in his usual cheery voice, uplifting my spirits. He opens the door, clicking the latch to keep it open.

For me, this was so much harder when he wasn't here.

"Lemme-" he pauses.

"Ellis?"

"'s okay." He holds onto the handles of my wheelchair and manoeuvres me around the small table in the trailer and out the door. "There yuh go" he smiles, parking my chair at the table. He puts the breaks on and kisses the top of my head.

"Thanks Ellis."

"Love yuh." He walks inside and returns with dinner. "There we go." He sits across from me and looks at me. "I got'chu somethin' else" he smiles mischievously.

I frown, feeling puzzled.

He passes me a small bottle from his pocket.

I grin. "Where did you get this?"

"Along with the tomatoes."

"You are a champ." I hold the small bottle of whiskey in my tight in my hand.

He chuckles. "Today… is one year… I thought we'd celebrate."

"That we're alive?"

"That yew are, Nick."

I feel my stomach tighten. I don't want to go back to that day. I don't want to think about that day. The only good thing about that day is that we all made it out of hell. Alive. All four of us. I dream about that day all too often. It plagues my dreams. I wake up in a cold sweat, heart pounding, head spinning, and glad that Ellis is a deep sleeper.

I dream of all the times I almost lost him, the fights that were getting harder to fight as exhaustion took over, and that last trek over that goddamn bridge.

He reason I was in this chair.

The reason I couldn't walk.

The reason I didn't work.

The reason I wait for Ellis to come home. So I know he is safe. He is the only thing that matters to me now.

I rarely saw Coach or Rochelle. I guess they were busy with their new endeavours.

I hold tight to the little bottle of whiskey, glad that Ellis could talk to people in that cheery voice and they'd hand over the last tin of tomatoes and a ration of alcohol (which weren't to be given out, mind you).

"I love yuh Nick and you mean the world ta me."

"Likewise-"

"So… uh… I wanna ask…" He blushes, nervous. I can see it in his eyes.

I give him a friendly smile to encourage him to continue.

He doesn't. He just sits there.

I frown. What is going on?

He gets down next to me on one knee.

My heart races, hell, I can hear it.

"If yuh'd marry me. Now I know you said yuh'd never get married again-"

"Yes!"

"Huh?" he frowns.

"Yes. I do. I'll marry you."

He grins, his face still pink. "Got'cha somethin'."

I can't believe it. This is the most bizarre proposal. Not including my own to my second (and last) wife.

He places a small silver band on my finger. "I got myself a matchin' one. Sorry it ain't gold."

"Hell, Ellis, don't worry about that. I wouldn't care if it was an onion ring. I'd still say yes."

He grins and kisses me. "I was thinkin' that I should" he admits. "But there ain't any 'round."

I smile. Of course he would say that.

"Thanks Nick."

I just smile.

This was definitely out of routine.