I can feel it.

His pain across the void but still I feel him calling out a wanting to be healed. Something has happened something bad and I am not talking cybermen and things like that because he's the doctor he can handle that but this is deeper and stronger.

It's like he is calling for me. Just after I went in to dad's world (he's my dada I'm not calling it Pete's world) when I could hear him calling my name through the void but this I can't explain.

When I first got the calling the rain started and when ever I could hear his pain so much thunder or lightning went off.

I'm hear of course with mum, dad and Mickey. The baby crying all the time with dad talking very loud on his mobile but all the noise was blocked out by the thunder and lightning going off every time I hear my name said by the doctor.

"When are you going to give this up, Sweetheart?" I heard mum say

I shrugged and I knew with out even looking she was giving me the old I know just asking look and with that walked to where Mickey was sitting over on the other side of the huge living room.

"I need you to go talk to her" I heard her say trying to be as quiet as possible but with the full knowledge that I can hear her.

Mickey had done many speeches to me about giving up on the doctor but all of them I came back with the comment 'You saw what the doctor could do you to would be upset if you knew it would never happen again' Mickey couldn't think of a comeback to that so he just put his arm around me and pulled me in to him close but knowing I was crying thinking of the times the doctor used to hug me after something really bad had happened.

"Rose…" Mickey began "I…" For once in his life he had no words to say to me because he knew I could hear the doctor form across the void.

"I can hear him" I looked at Mickey with tearful eyes "Something is hurting him badly; I want to help because I know that he needs me"

"You can't go your whole life thinking about the doctor that's what Sarah-Jane did and she had no proper life to speak of" Mickey put his arm around me but the time he didn't pull me in I really wanted him to. "Remember what the doctor said before you went back with the TARDIS to help him. You said there was a hologram of him telling you to have a fantastic life and do you know what would make the doctor so proud that one of his companions had a life of her own and enjoyed it to the best they could"

I felt my heart beat so fast that had never accrued to me but he wanted a good life for me as well as everybody else.

"Mickey…" But before I could say any more he stood up and left walking so slowly "You're right"

With that every one in the room turned and looked at me and where speechless "I want a life of my own and I will get it" I said standing up form the sofa by the window I was looking out of and walked over to Mickey

"I miss him but I have to face reality he is never coming back" I turned and looked to the window and blew it a kiss and at that the rain stopped and I felt free. No more living in the past I need to be me not wait for something I know is never ever going to happen.

Later that evening…

It funny when you write a letter and have no intention of ever posting it but this is what I'm writing the one thing I would love to send.

As I slipped it in to a envelope and addressed it to the doctor.

This is what I wrote the thing he was dying to hear me say…

To my doctor,

I love you

Love from

You're Rose.

I said to my family that I am over him but I will never be able to let go of the fact that, I say it to my self every day and I know he can hear it being said.

My doctor I love you.