So, this has been rolling around in my head for a while. It takes place around 2008-ish a little after the first Iron Man and between 4 and 3 of Supernatural, before Dean comes back from hell. Men of Letters are not in the picture yet. They may not be at all. I haven't decided.

Now, the Supernatural/Avengers crossover is not new at all, and there are a bunch of stories out there, so I apologize if this is similar to anything already out there. All I can say is that I haven't read every single crossover fic with in these fandoms and didn't mean to rip anyone off.

Anyway, I don't know what I think of my first chapter, and I'm not sure if I'll continue this. I don't know why, but it seems to me that it's harder to write fanfiction for a movie or TV show than it is for a book. Regardless, hope y'all enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OCs

The Unexplained Phenomena Unit of SHIELD was a joke. It was one of those utterly useless, obsolete, abstractly defined departments every organization has. Most people forgot it even existed half the time, including the director, unless of course he wanted to punish an agent by having them spend a few months there.

The office where the UPU was located consisted of two desks with one laptop between them. It employed only one person, a completely unremarkable analyst. People forgot she existed too.

"You gotta be shitting me," said a newly assigned to the UPU.

The analyst picked her head up. "Hey."

He ignored her. She tried not to take offense. New agents assigned to her unit were usually agents who were troublemakers or close to retirement. Hardly any of them stuck around long, and she wasn't the most social person, so it was okay that he just shook his head and took a desk, simmering in silence at his lot in life.

"I'd say it gets better, but it really doesn't," she said in consolation.

He glared at her. Yep, not the right thing to say. She really needed to work on her people skills.

"I'm Kinney," she tried to make small talk.

"Jacobs," he grunted.

She took that as a win and decided to let him seethe as privately as their tiny, shared office would allow. There would be time for further conversation later, or there wouldn't, and that was fine too.

Jacobs hated people like Kinney. They were the kind that came in, did their nine-to-five and nothing more and prayed they kept their job until retirement. Her kind of people never did anything with their lives, never made a difference, were never remembered.

That was part of his problem. He was always trying to make sure no one forgot him, always making a name for himself. It got him in trouble more often than not, landing him with citations and notes in his file about his impulsive recklessness. He was just trying to do his job and not be replaced, but no one else saw it that way. Apparently, he got so bad, Fury took it upon himself to personally assign him to this new shithole.

"If anyone can do something in that department, it's you," were the director's exact words, said with a smirk to his lips and a gleam in his one remaining eye.

It was the perfect punishment, if Jacobs was being honest. If he could be less pissed about the whole thing, he would be amused at how creative Fury could be. It was brilliant, giving him job that meant squat at the end of the day.

"I put in a requisition for a laptop for you," Kinney said, breaking into his thoughts.

He rolled his eyes and ignored her.

"It probably won't even get looked at for weeks," she continued. "And then it'll probably be denied."

"So?" he sneered, hoping his tone will discourage her from further talk.

"Maybe you should bring your own."

He sighed. "Against SHIELD policy, remember? No outside mobile devices including phones, laptops, tablets, and anything else not protected by SHEILD software are allowed in the building."

"Get it approved for SHIELD software."

He sat up. "Huh?"

She wrung her hands, like the concept of having a conversation was distressing, which served her right for bugging him all the time. "You're more likely to get the software alone approved. It's not as expensive as being given an entire laptop. They'll send a techie to set it up for you at your home so you can bring it in next time you come in for work."

It actually sounded like a good idea. With a laptop, he could at least waste time online instead of being bored out of his skull.

"Maybe I'll do that."

She jerked her head down in a sharp nod and retreated into silence, having reached her quota for conversation for the day.

Jacobs having a laptop cut back on the irritated sighs and growls Kinney had to listen to day in and day out. She should just be glad he was always too mad to sleep. She could just picture him as a snorer.

"What do you do all day?" he asked one day after his first month with her had passed with absolutely zero acknowledgement.

She almost fell out of her chair. Was he really initiating conversation? None of the others who passed through ever bothered.

"Cat videos are getting boring," Jacobs explained, reading her thoughts.

She smiled uncertainly at him. "Uh, well, I scan the various news sources for anything deemed strange."

"Like a guy in a metal suit kind of strange?"

She shook her head. "No, more like animal attacks that don't involve any known animals, weather patterns that don't match forecasts, unusual deaths, disappearances, stuff like that."

Jacobs raised an eyebrow. "X-files sort of stuff?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

"So, this is my job now," Jacobs muttered. "I'm Mulder."

"Ooh, I always identified with him best," Kinney decided to share.

It earned her another one of Jacobs's glares. She shrank in on herself, wishing he would stop being so intense. Life was intense enough on its own.

"Don't you dare call be Scully," he warned.

She tried for a smile that she was sure was more of a grimace. "You're not pretty enough."

Jacobs kept his glare for another ten seconds before his shoulders started shaking. Kinney's eyes widened, scared she'd made him so upset he could barely contain his rage. All she could do was be happy his name wasn't Bruce Banner and hope his explosion was brief.

When she heard him make a choking sound, she braced herself. Then he threw his head back, and his voice was less choked and more... happy? Was he laughing?

"You're no model yourself, Kinney," he snickered. "But I see your point."

She grimace-smiled at him again, wondering if he knew how rusty his laugh sounded, like he'd forgotten how to use it. Then again, her laugh probably sounded the same. "Okay."

He sighed, coming down from his amusement. Her joke wasn't that funny anyway. He was just dying for something to laugh at, and Kinney displaying her sliver of a backbone was it. "Okay, okay, so after you log down the events, what happens?"

Work, she could talk about work. "Nothing."

His brows furrowed. "What do you mean nothing?"

She shrugged. "My job is to log and process them. It gets filtered by a computer. That computer highlights what is most likely to be relevant to SHIELD and it works its way up to Director Fury who then divies up assignments about who goes to check them out."

"Doesn't the computer highlight the anomalies in the first place?" Jacobs asked.

"Sure, but sometimes it highlights too many events. I whittle down the list even more, and I even connect them occasionally, like if the events seem to move locations."

Jacobs nodded. "I see. So, you're filling in a computer function in between computers?"

Kinney never thought if it like that. "I suppose so, yes."

"That's not me," Jacobs confessed. "I don't have the right mindset."

"I know. That's why I never asked you to help me."

Kinney was just being matter of fact, but Jacobs took offense. He was ashamed of not pulling his weight, even with something he deemed beneath him. Trouble was, he didn't like feeling shame. Anger and contempt were much easier to deal with.

"Well, your job is pretty pointless, don't you think?"

Her jaw tightened, but she pulled off an unbothered shrug. "It's what I've been tasked with. You too, if memory serves."

Jacobs gave a derisive snort. "No point, though. You're all that's needed, and even that's questionable."

"Keeps me from being bored," she justified it.

Jacobs perked up at that. Boredom was the bane of his existence. If he could alleviate it, even just a little, it could improve his mood, maybe get his girlfriend to stop calling him a Debbie-downer.

"How do you log everything?"

Jacobs still hated his job. It was dull, boring, tedious, and every other negative adjective he could assign to describe it. What he wouldn't give to be back in the field!

"I've gained five pounds since being here," he griped one day.

Kinney darted her eyes at him, at his stomach, and straight back to her computer. "At least seven."

"Liar," he accused.

Her lips quirked up at one corner. "Go vegan. It's what I did."

Jacobs snorted. "Yeah, not happening. You think I should up my exercise regimen?"

Kinney shrugged. "Athleticism isn't my area of expertise."

"Well, it's mine, and I think I'll double the miles I run."

Kinney nodded. She was getting used to his ramblings, and it was kind of nice having someone to listen to. All the same, she wasn't gonna miss him when he left.

"Sounds like a good idea."

Jacobs nodded and went back to work, letting the lull in conversation take its course. It'd pick up again in a few minutes.

"Huh, that's something."

Kinney looked up from her screen. "What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just…" Jacobs trailed off. "There's a chain of strange events involving another series of animal attacks that just don't add up."

"So?"

Jacobs ran a hand through his hair. "It's nearby."

"In DC?"

"Virginia. But yeah, close, see?"

Kinney peered over Jacobs's shoulder. "I live a block from there."

Jacobs glanced sharply at her. "That's a dangerous neighborhood."

She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "I keep to myself."

"So do a bunch of murder victims."

Kinney flinched at his bluntness. "Right."

Jacobs pursed his lips and faithfully logged the information before downloading the file to his desktop. "I say we check this out."

Kinney blinked. "Huh?"

Jacobs gestured to the screen. "I say we investigate this series of events."

"But that's against protocol."

"Protocol is just guidelines to avoid total chaos," he argued. "Besides, these sorts of anomalies never get priority. What if we could save someone's life by getting involved?"

Kinney gnawed on her lip. "I don't know, Jacobs. I'm not really qualified to-"

"You're a SHIELD agent, aren't you?"

Barely, but she got his point. "I…"

He raised an eyebrow. "I think you're a step away from a yes."

"No!" she denied. "We should just follow the rules."

"Nothing in the rules says we can't do our own legwork," Jacobs argued, scowling at her.

She mustered up a glare of her own and shook her head. "It's too risky. We have no idea what we're dealing with."

"That's the whole point! Doesn't it kind of excite you, the prospect of fieldwork?"

"No," she lied. "I've never wanted to be a field agent."

Jacobs gaped at her in disbelief. Who could actually want to sit at a desk their entire lives?

Kinney sighed. "Look, if you want to investigate on your own, I won't stop you, but I want no part of it."

That would have to do. Whatever. It was probably for the best. He wasn't the sort for partners anyway.