Presenting myself in other languages...
The text below, from my sweet husband, was the result about his end project to conclude his English course (high intermediate level). How it is amazing, I've decided to publish it to tribute him...
This text is about a "crossover", mixing "The Mask" with "The Ladykillers" and a little bit about a real story of Central Bank assault occurred in 2005 in Brazil.
Grammatical corrections will be accept and welcome.
Have a good reading!!!
Jackpot
Jack's story talks about a guy who was a simple and amorous, but without self esteem... a looser... Everything in his life was wrong... a selfish wife, a lazy manager... But a rob would change all his life.
Casting
Jack - ...- Rob Schineider
Shirley - ... - Laraine Newman
Charlie - ... - Ben Stiller
Paul - ... - Robert De Niro
Richard - ... - Vin Diesel
John - ... - Harold Ramis
This story happened in a small city near here...
Jack is thirties, he's a simple and amorous guy, but without self esteem...
In his job, like a bank teller, he's humiliation reason from his 'friends', mainly by your manager Charlie, because everybody know, except him, he's a looser and his wife betrays him with anyone.
Charlie is lazy and a person who takes all glories to him. He always passes his job to Jack:
- Jack, fill all these forms and reports that are over my desk... After this, get my lunch... Ah, you'll need to register these bills on the system, but you'll do it only overtime...
If his job wasn't his unique problem, Jack has a hard routine arriving at home... tolerate Shirley, his wife. Jack used to love her, but Shirley, who is much beautiful, ambitious and egoistic, only got married with him because she can manipulate him.
- Jack, why are you delayed? – Shirley asks.
- I'm sorry honey... I needed to work overtime... Again... – Jack says.
- Jack, have you brought that necklace that I asked for a long time? – Shirley asks.
- Honey, we already talked about it... You know we don't have money... I would need to get another job to buy everything you want and I would like to give to you... – Jack says.
- If you really loved me, you would do possible and impossible to make me happy... – Shirley says, running direct to her bedroom and crying – And if you wanna have dinner, you'll need to prepare your food... And you'll sleep at room... – Shirley gets in the bedroom and hit the door.
Day after day, this was Jack's life, where he was humiliated for everybody around him, at work or at home.
In other place, at the same city, it's starting a conference with a select group.
- Well misters – Paul says – I wanna present you: This is John, engineer and excavation's especialist. This is Richard, young, athlete, no much smart, but he will be our strong arm in this mission. And me, I'm Paul, strategist and payer of this mission. I ask you, what will be our mission?
- Uhm, will we rescue anybody in enemy lines? - Richard asks.
- No, Richard, we won't rescue anybody... You're watching many war movies... Now, talking serious, our mission means turn us riches... and we'll do it robbing the Central Bank. – Paul says.
- But how will we do it? – Jonh asks.
- This is your moment. – Paul explains – We will make a tunnel and arrive at bank under strongbox.
- And where will we start the tunnel? – Jonh asks.
- And now it's my moment, – Paul says – creating the strategy. I've been analyzing all bank's employees profiles for one month, where they live... then I found our perfect target: Jack. He looks like a looser, impotent to be bad with anybody... His wife treats him badly too.
- But he will help us, Paul? – Richard asks.
- He won't have any option! We will invade his house and take his wife as a hostage! – Paul answers.
- How will we get in his house without neighbor attention? – John asks.
- It won't be a problem. Jack's wife, Shirley, gives "parties" everytime while his husband work a lot. Their neighbors won't think our entrance strange. And our equipments, we will carry during night, when both were subdued... Well, lets prepare us! – Paul says.
Meanwhile, at Central Bank:
- I need to create another mean of deviate more money... – Charlie thinks – Jack, organize these files, ordering by alphabetic and date. – Charlie says.
- But Charlie, it's my lunch time... And I would have lunch at home... – Jack says.
- I'm sorry. I need this file organized until tomorrow, because we will receive auditorias person tomorrow and everything need to be impeccable! – Charlie says, leaving the bank.
While Jack is breaking his head to organize files, Charlie thought that would be waste allow Jack's lunch deteriorate, then he resolved to "visit" Shirley, who he has been knowing since university.
- Shirley, I don't understand how you can live with this stupid guy, Jack. – Charlie says while has lunch.
- Ah, Charlie... Jack gives me all that I need and almost that I want... He don't disturb me during day and how you keep him busy all day, I can find my "friends"... – Shirley says laughing.
During the "party", Shirley resolved to ask a "favor" really special to Charlie:
- Charlie... I have a fetish... – Shirley says.
- Uhm... really Shirley... tell me more, honey... what's your fetish? – Charlie asks curious.
- I'd like to make love surrounded by money... – Shirley says.
- What?!? How may we do it? – Charlie asks.
- Well, you just need to create an opportunity to we stay alone in bank's strongbox. – Shirley says.
- Are you crazy? How may we do it? The bank is always fraught... And Jack? If he's not here, at home, he's working at bank... – Charlie says.
- It doesn't matter. I just know that you'll do it. While you don't consummate my dream, you won't have "parties"... – Shirley advises.
Charlie left Jack's house thinking how he could consummate Shirley's dream.
Arriving at bank, Charlie had a great plan and at the end of expedient he would put it in practice:
- Jack, I'm really happy with your job here at bank. I was talking with a friend, manager of another bank, in a small city, and he told me that there they will receive auditorias person too. When I said him about your wonderful job here, he has impressed and asked your help there. The unique problem is that they will receive auditorias person on Monday, but I'm sure you won't matter to go there during this weekend. – Charlie says.
- But Charlie... – Jack says.
- You don't need to be modest, Jack. I know you're our best employee and the unique who can do this job... And if you continue working like this, soon you'll be promoted... maybe, one day, you can be a manager... like me... – Charlie says.
Jack turns back home sad and says about your trip to Shirley, who doesn't show be sad with this.
During morning, Jack goes to the bus station to travel to the other bank, and then organize files, how he agreed with Charlie.
Few moments later, Charlie went to Shirley's house to, then, consummate Shirley's dream.
- I'm seeing that you prepared everything, didn't you? – Shirley asks.
- It's correct, honey... But lets go... We need to utilize well the day... – Charlie says.
Then, Charlie and Shirley went to the bank. Everything was prepared, alarms off, nobody there to disturb them, and Jack... oh, poor Jack... while he was working a lot, day after day, his loved wife ornamented his head.
Charlie and Shirley made love all the day in bank, mainly into the strongbox. The unique problem: Charlie didn't know a little detail... the bank had a security system with secret cameras.
Finished all the job, Jack turned back home, on Sunday night, waiting receive attention and caress from his wife, but she was tired:
- Hi honey... this weekend was so hard... How are you? What did you do this weekend? – Jack asks.
- Oh, dear... I'm tired... I've been cleaning house for all this weekend... I'm exhausted – Shirley says.
- Honey, what do you think about we go to our bedroom... and change caress? – Jack asks.
- Not today... I'm having a hard headache. – Shirley says.
Jack thought strange Shirley's tiredness, mainly because the house wasn't so cleaned, but he preferred don't think about it.
On Monday, Jack went to the bank normally, but that day wouldn't be normal, because Shirley would receive an unexpected visit later.
- Ding-Dong – rings Shirley's bell.
- May I help you? – Shirley asks.
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Shirley... We work at jewelry. Your husband send us here to you see our showcase and choose your necklace... – Paul says.
- But why are these two guys with you? – Shirley asks.
- Because the jewels are valued, then they protect me and the jewels. – Paul explains.
Shirley didn't think twice and opened the gate.
As soon as Paul, Richard and John came in Shirley's house, yielded her.
- Where are the jewels? – Shirley asks.
- We didn't bring any jewel, mrs... we have other plans! And make us a favor, stay quiet, because if you don't scream and impair our plan, nobody will be hurt. – Richard says.
- But... but... – Shirley says.
- Nothing of but, Shirley... lets wait your husband and after his arrival, we'll explain everything. – Paul says.
After expedient, Jack came back home how he used to be.
Arriving at home, Jack was astonished, seeing his wife and three bandits sat near her at room:
- What is happening here? – Jack asks.
- Do not do any wrong thing and nobody will be hurt. – Richard says.
- Jack, we don't wanna hurt you, but we need your collaboration... – Paul explains – we intend to make the century's rob... and you'll help us!
- But how do you intend to do it? – Jack asks.
- We'll make a tunnel from your house's basement until bank's strongbox where you work, then we'll take some money... – Paul says.
- And if I don't wanna help you... what will you do? – Jack asks.
- Then, we'll need to insist... – Paul says, looking to Richard, who squeezed Shirley's arm, making her scream.
- Ok, ok... but don't hurt her – Jack asks.
- Well, Jack... you'll continue working normally, and won't say nothing to anybody about what is happening, else your wife and you will die. We'll make the tunnel. I know that Charlie entrust in you, then you'll turn off the security system and secret cameras, while we'll "clean" the strongbox. – Paul says.
- John, please, go with Jack, get our car here and bring our equipments... – Paul says.
- Ok, Paul. Come on, Jack. – John says.
After keep the car at subterranean garage during daybreak, without nobody realize, they took the equipments.
So, the week was passing... Jack was working, worried, but without show... meanwhile, at home, John and Richard was excavating the tunnel. Coincidence or not, Shirley felt attraction for both. John was inspecting the tunnel and Richard was removing earth, then Shirley, even tied, resolved to talk:
- Richard, you're so strong... so manful... I was really scared when you took me by my arm... so strong... – Shirley says.
- Oh mrs... I used to train greco-roman fight at school... and I practice bodybuilder... – Richard says.
- Richard... looking you, dirty and sweaty... I'm so excited... – Shirley says.
- What is this, mrs? – Richard says, ending the subject and leaving Shirley.
Later, Shirley resolved to approach of John while Paul and Richard was continuing the excavation:
- John, look this job... you're so smart... I'm sure that if you didn't planned the tunnel's construction, all this project would be bungled... – Shirley says.
- It's not all the truth... the group's strategist is Paul... – John says.
- Maybe, but if you didn't make the tunnel, the plan wouldn't profit nothing... – Shirley says.
At this moment, Paul left tunnel and realized the Shirley's intention and resolved to finish the dialog:
- John, please, turn back to work... – Paul says – and you, mrs Shirley? Shame on you! Don't you respect your husband, who sustains you, loves you... and is endangering his life for you?
- Ah, Paul... Jack is a stupid... doesn't have self love, he's a powerless... – Shirley says.
- Sincerely, Shirley... I have disgust of you... – Paul says, turning back to work.
After work a lot, the group was under strongbox, then they would need Jack's help. On Thursday night, Paul talked with Jack:
- Jack, we're finishing our plans and until now everything is all right, but we'll need your help one more time. – Paul says.
- What do you want more? You're in my home, breaking everything, scaring my wife... – Paul says.
- Wait a moment, Jack... your wife isn't so saint how you think... she's a bitch... always trying to seduce everyone around her... she doesn't respect you! – Paul alerts.
- You're crazy!!! Isn't sufficient make us hostages, will you defame my wife? – Jack screams.
- Open your eyes, guy... and don't be nervous... – Paul says – and come on, listen my instruction now!!!
- Well, say what you want quickly... I'm anxious to be free of you!!! – Jack says.
- Tomorrow you'll do this: At the end of the expedient, you'll turn off the security system, make a loop in secret cameras system, then nobody will realize our action in strongbox. – Paul explains.
- But how will I do it? I don't understand nothing about this eletronic devices... – Jack says.
- Don't worry, get this programming instructions... just follow it... we'll do the remainder. Now, go to rest... tomorrow will be a long day. We'll have the weekend to "clean" the strongbox and our traces. – Paul says.
Jack tryied to sleep, but passed all night thinking about his dialog with Paul. Then, he started to understand many things that happened during his wedding... sometimes he saw Shirley talking with other men... calls that he received and anybody hold off when realized that he was talking... the gossips in bank...
At the next day, the action's time was arrived... the expedient was ending when Charlie called Jack:
- Jack, I need that you update these records... but you'll need to do it before Monday... then take it and work at home... – Charlie says.
- But Charlie... – Jack says.
- Nothing of but... reclaiming for everything, you'll never be promoted as manager... – Charlie says.
That was the end... Because of this, Jack resolved to go ahead with Paul's plan. Jack waited everybody get out of the bank, while he was updating the records. Turned off the security system and made the loop at secret cameras system, following Paul's instructions.
Jack turned back home, and then, the group started their action:
They removed a piece of strongbox's paving, got in the strongbox and passed all the Saturday taking money. Seeing all that money, Shirley didn't contain herself and resolved to guarantee her part:
- Richard, it's much money... what do you think about take me with you... we could left this small city together... – Shirley says.
- But mrs. Shirley... and your husband? – Richard asks.
- Forget him... he is stupid... he isn't half of the man who you are!!! – Shirley says.
- All right, after we finish our job here, we'll run away together. – Richard says.
Shirley would wanna be sure that would guarantee her part, then talked with John too:
- John, what will you do with your money? What do you think about take me with you... we could left this small city together... – Shirley says.
- But Shirley... and your husband? – John asks.
- Forget him... he is stupid... he isn't half of the man who you are!!! – Shirley says.
- All right, after we finish our job here, we'll run away together. – John says.
After finished the group's job, Jack turned back to the bank, cleaned all the evidences, took off the loop and turned on the security system.
Meanwhile, John and Richard were preparing the tunnel's explosion, when they started an argument about Shirley:
- When we finish here, I'll get my part of money and I'll take Shirley with me... – Richard says.
- Wait a moment, guy!!! She said me that she'll run away with me!!! – John screams.
At this moment, they started to fight into the tunnel and by accident, they shot the trigger, making the tunnel collapse above them, killing them and sealing the tunnel.
Seeing what happened , Paul didn't have other option else rebuild the wall which the group broken to make the tunnel.
On Sunday daybreak, after separate all money and clean the house, Paul was prepared to get out, but first called Jack to have a private dialog:
- Jack, I'm really sorry for all problems and I thank you for your "hospitality"... I need to say you that I admire you and I entrust in you, then, if you go to Brazil, just look for me... saying better, I'll find you!!! – Paul says.
Turning back to the room, before get out, Paul alerts the couple:
- I'm getting out, but don't think to talk nothing about this last week to anybody, because your phones has been recording and I'll know how and where to find you.
Paul ran away as he arrived, without leave any evidences.
On Monday morning, Jack went to the bank to work, how he used to do and when the bank opened, Charlie got in the strongbox and realized that the bank had been robbed.
Police was called and started a detailed investigation. After moviments banking analysis, Police realized the deviate made by the manager Charlie and after watch the secret cameras movies, they saw Shirley and Charlie's "party".
Shirley and Charlie were imprisoned as rob's suspects and, still Shirley says about the kidnap, nobody believed in her, because doesn't have any evidence.
When Police asked to Jack what he would do, considering he wasn't suspect and his wife's betrayal became public:
- I intend to divorce from Shirley and leave of this city. – Paul explains.
After one month of Shirley's detention, Jack remembered about what Paul said and how he would like to get out, resolved to travel to Brazil.
Coincidence or not, while Jack was disembarking from the airplane, there was Paul, waiting Jack at the airport.
They became big friends and divided the fortune and nowadays are living in Bahia.