A/N: hello and welcome. First, I would I have been actually planning this fic for a while. I thought to myself 'is it just me or do most author make their 'reading' fics with them as a op oc?' So yeah that's one trope that is dead in the water here. My oc / semi-self-insert is gonna be the butt monkey of this fic. And second is that this fic is not only gonna contain one shot stories but some ideas that I plan for open adoption if people are interested, anyone can take them just PM me before you do. Now please enjoy.
Chapter 1: what to do?
Many people think of existence. May it be the question of 'why are we here?' to 'how far can one go?' These questions have plagued the human mind for it entire existence, from cave man to modern scientist!
But there is one question.
One question so hard not even gods could answer, may they be the highest or lowest of the eldritch or most benevolent or all knowing.
"YANG! I'm bored, what do I do."
How to get rid of boredom, because even the most powerful of them could never hope to defeat it.
It was a week off school, a surprise really since it came without warning. The reason? Professor Ozpin went on a surprise vacation and forgot to tell anybody, Oum unknown to the anyone even the villains couldn't do anything because his disappearance put a hold on just about everything, even the festival that was planned.
It should also be noted that Ozpin made many enemies that day inform of angry vacationers who were planning to go when it was originally going to take place.
This left nearly all the staff to search for the man, to no luck so far. This also meant that no lessons where happening, but students weren't allowed to go home thanks to the possibility of him being found. Leaving some happy students at first to bored later.
There was only so much one could do before games, porn and comics became flat.
Yang looked at her sister. "Well I don't know. I'm just as bored as you are, so RUBY! What should I do I'm bored?!"
Ruby grumbled at the sassy comment. The other two in the room were quiet, but where too bored. Wiess was trying to learn of her dust studies to no avail since she was not only top of her class but two years above hers too, no surprise since she was the heir to the biggest dust company in Remnant.
Something she would adamant to say was thanks to her father, or mother. Only after begruntle talk though.
Blake on the other hand was reading Ninja of love for the hundredth time... I wonder if she'll any other book in this fic? Like a man with two souls or it sequel, man with four souls.
But seriously she was bored out her mind.
"so, what do you we do! I'm bored and I can't think of anything!" Ruby said grasping her head in frustration!
"Will you be quiet! I'm trying a concentrate!" Shouted Weiss.
"On a book on dust that you have read so many times that you quote it word for word."
"I have not!"
Yang dryly commented "Page 243."
Wiess automatically responded. "The effect of fire and ice dust combining in a natural state is impossible but! In labs an-" she stopped and blushed.
Yeah, she was stop reading now.
Ruby shook her head. "What about you Blake? Any ideas?"
The Faunus looked up from her book. "Non, and I have to admit I'm bored too."
The red reaper groaned as the others sighed and moaned in discontent. After a second though Ruby shoot up and snapped her fingers. "I know, JAUNE!"
Wiess look slightly offended and replied. "and what would that duffus do?"
Ruby shrugged "Entertain us."
*BOOM* "HIDE US!"
Jaune in a panic ran into their room with reckless abandon as he kicked the door open, Wiess was about shout at Jaune for the rude intrusion, as well as Ruby who was smirking. That was until Pyrrha came in a second later slamming the door behind them with a similar look on her.
And after pyrrha slammed the door shut the two panicked partners dived into Wiess's bed under the sheets... not like that pervs! In fear!
"Um, guys? What are you doing?" Questioned Yang her eyebrows raised. When Jaune first ran in she thought she would have some entertainment in the form of an infamous 'Wiess takedown' but as soon as Pyrrha came in that thought went out faster than Blake when she hears tuna is being served at the cafeteria. She first thought that Jaune was hiding from Cardin's attempts to make up for their past, which equated to Cardin trying to be a bro and failing miserably. Like the one time he tried to drag Jaune to a strip club... in front of Pyrrha, you can guess how well that went. Or Coco want Jaune to carry her shopping. Known fact having seven sisters made it that Jaune was the perfect pack mule for intense shopping.
To be fair they may have done the same a few times.
"Hiding" both replied fear prevalent in their voices.
Blake gave a flat look. "We can tell, but from what though?"
"Nora! She's bored!" Shout whisper Jaune.
This made RWBY paled, a bored Nora was a dangerous Nora!
"Wait shouldn't Ren be around to... temper her?" Questioned Wiess, her anger thrown out the window for fear and a dire need for survival.
"Rens gone out! He left Nora to play on her scroll, but her scrolls battery's ran out! Now she-"
Jaune was interrupted by a voice on the other side of the door, one that brought dread to everyone in the room.
"Oh guys~"
Nora Valkyrie
"oh, guy please open the door I just wanna play~ I've already brought Mignhild. So now let's play Uncle!"
The six universally ran to the window.
"Open the Window!"
"I'm trying!"
"Who care?! Just smash it open!"
"We can't the headmaster made it strong enough to survive anything after Yang's punagedon!"
"DAMN YOU OZPIN!"
But it was too late the door was smashed down. Nora, hammer in hand smiling a dark grin as the six all hugged each other and shivered in fear.
"oh, come on guys it just a game of uncle. You hit me I hit you till one of us scream Uncle! Now who's first? And just to let you know I never lose~."
And with that they all screamed.
As Nora started to walk to the group a voice came from behind her.
"Nora, what are you doing?"
Nora stopped, so did the screaming. Nora looked behind her to see Ren giving her an exasperated look.
She quickly turned around and tried (and failed) to hide her hammer behind her back.
"Oh, nothing Renny, just... messing about!" She stammered out nervously.
Ren though just deadpanned.
"You were bored, weren't you?"
Nora's head dropped. "yes."
He just sighed "Nora we talked about this."
"Yes, I know, just because I'm bored doesn't mean I can play uncle."
Ren nodded, as the two finished their talk the others got out of their fear hug.
"Hi Ren, not to sound rude but didn't you say that you would be gone longer than this? You said you would be gone half the day?" Questioned Pyrrha, how was both happy and sad.
Happy because no 'Nora fun' and sad because she had to let go of her crush. Sure, four other girls were also in the hug but that was beside the point.
"The bullheads broken down, wasn't able to go into town."
"then why were you gone for two hours?"
"I ran into professor Port, and he wanted to chat."
"For that long?"
Ren flinched "It was a one-sided convocation."
The room sent looks of pity to the quiet lad, a port lecture was only one step below torture.
"...So, any ideas to kill boredom?" Said Ruby.
JNPR collectively groaned as their answer.
The red reaper pouted.
"Can't anybody think of anything?! What about comics!"
"we have read all the copies of X-ray and Vav a dozen times now and all the other comics too." Answered Jaune.
"Games!"
"Played to hundred percent completion." Yawned Yang.
"Movies!"
"we can only watch spruce Willis so many times, Ruby." Said Blake her nose in her book once again.
"Books!"
Pyrrha was about to answer but Ruby beat her to the punch.
"I know we read them all, even the educational ones!"
Ruby pouted and sat at her rooms desk... what she then slammed her head against.
"...ow, but urgh! What can we do!"
Jaune sighed "Not a clue."
Ruby put her hand together and started to pray.
"Oh, Oum please rid us of this boredom. Please end your children's plait, we'll do anything!"
Wiess was becoming increasingly frustrated.
"Ruby we get it you bored we are to so please talking about it."
Ruby brought her finger up and was about to say something but then.
*pop*
They all disappeared like a bad B-movie special effect.
...what this fic was made for fun not seriousness!
Somewhere else where the plot is
The group stood stiller than stone when they popped back into existence.
"...what was that?" Said ruby wide eyed finger still up.
Blake looked around. "Not a clue."
They saw they weren't in their dorm anymore, in fact they could say with up most certainty that they had no clue where they were. They could tell that they were in a normal house, the living room to be precise. Wooden floor, colourful rug, corner sofa, spinning sofa-chair and large T.V and a stone fire place that seemed slightly out of place in the more modern living room. There was also a window to see outside that showed a large patch of green with two large trees and a few houses. All in all, a normal place.
"I think the better question is, where are we?" Said Jaune looking out one of the doors to see what looked like the door of getting in and out the house.
"my home, that's where."
The group turned and prepared to attack. When they turned they saw a tall white male. He was wearing blue jeans, a brown turtle neck jumper and black boots, just normal plain clothing. His face was decent to look at but nothing to write home about, short brown hair, thick eyebrows, strong jaw, normal nose, bigger than average ears and blue-green eyes. The only thing that caught their attention was a large mug with what looked like a cartoon with the words 'one piece' on it.
*Slurp*
"so~… you done staring?"
They blushed and shook their head as Jaune asked him a question.
"Who are you and how did we get here?!"
"I won't tell you my name, it so boring that you'll forget it as soon as you hear it. Just call me Lanky like my friends or that tall guy, that what everybody says when they try to grab my attention."
"Bull, how would we forget your name?"
"Okay my name is..."
They then heard his name, it was then that they learnt a name so dull and mundane that they forgot what it was a second later.
"...what the fuck?" Questioned Jaune.
"SWEAR!"
"Well, anyways I didn't bring you here, the authors and viewers did."
"Who."
"basically, gods that are like the internet, all knowing but are too busy watching cat videos."
The group had to do a double take. "...what?"
"That beside the point, in a convoluted story a viewer asked an author to make a universe where you watch yourselfs, but mostly Jaune in different worlds, some similar and some so vastly different... and also because Ruby was bored, author hates seeing ruby upset for no good reason."
"Wait!" Interrupted Ruby. "Why watch ourselves?!"
"Yeah, especially me!" Jaune said pointing at that tall guy.
"Because the rule of funny that why. Don't look at me I don't make the rules!" He put his hand up defensively when they moved closer.
"And what about you hm?"
"Hired help. Seriously they had me training before you came with others before you. And all I have to say is thank god, you're not the ponies! Do you know how hard it was to stop the crying?! How many lemons I had to go through with them?! I'm surprised I'm still sane after all this."
The group didn't know how to react to this, they didn't know if he was sane. Seriously ponies? Lemons? What did they have to do with anything?
Wiess just shook her head and started to walk to the door. "you know what? screw this, I'm out of here."
As Wiess reached the door their host spoke. "I wouldn't open that door if I was you."
"Oh please, it just a door and why should we listen to you? Ponies? Authors? Do you think you dumb!? No, I am not going to listen to your lies any longer."
She opened the door and went to walk outside only to be meet by something. She couldn't really describe it, colours unseen by human eyes, matter and energy becoming something new and old every second and sounds so loud it was quite?! How does this exist! How can anything-
She was then slapped by whatever it was and fell back from the door. And the door closed.
"Warned you not to open that door."
All she did was mumble "I saw universes created and destroyed on whims for sheer pleasure of being beyond our understanding."
"I think you looked at the review pages. And trust me you not the first to try and leave, but the author thought about that and made so when I have guest like you we become stuck in a page of Lovecraft's lost Jornal. Now please take a seat everyone because the viewer won't be pleased till we start."
The group of teens nodded and sat with their respective partners on each of the chairs.
Ruby look at her partner in worry. "You okay Wiess?"
"Destroyed universes Ruby, destroyed universes."
That tall guy who they were going to call 'Lanky' from now on stood in the center of the room and cleared his throat.
*Ahem* "okay then before we get started I have to tell you a few things. First is that each world you will view could and most definitely will versions of you that are different from your personality wise that it may disturb you, But! These are not you... and I mean you-you. Second is that just because something happens in one universe does not mean it will or will not happen in your world, that is for you to decide for yourselves. And thirdly but most importantly in each world each of your relations can and have developed in different way! My it be that Ruby and Jaune become married or that a female Ren fall for Jaune is not an excuse to bonkers! Got it. And yes, each of you are quite possibly the other gender in a world or two."
The group stunned just nodded their heads but had their heads spinning. especially the last one, they could be the other gender?!
"Now on to the disclaimer. Warning I'm not responsible for what's in these worlds, may it be neko ninja Blakes, yandere Pyrrhas or mighty harem lord Jaunes. If you want food ask me, we did have before you came the ability to summon food at one will but people abused it and the food bill went to high. So yeah if you hungry I'm cooking you but it'll be beans on toast! And finally, don't worry about how much time you spend here, the author has a deus ex machina so no time will pass in your world, but please don't ask how he does it because, he'll go into ridiculous detail on how it works, it origin story and it uses in bread making. Now let's start the show shall we."
As he finished he gripped a remote from his pocket a press the power button turning on the T.V.
"Now what shall we watch first?"
End chapter 1
Well this was quick to write, anyways as you probably grasped this is not going to be that serious, more comedy although there will be more...chilling and heartwarming moments those won't be till later chapters. Till then thanks for reading and have a pleasant day.