Today was the day that Wolverine wished his car motorcycle wasn't in the shop. But of course it was, and of course nobody else had a spare seat in their chopper, or jet, or fuck he would even take the bus at this point.
Zombies were running amok downtown and Deadpool was the closest to the apartment he was staying in.
Fuck everything.
Wolverine pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbed his eyes, and tried to ignore the sound of distant screaming while he waited outside on the curb in full gear waiting to get picked up like some kid after school.
Where the fucking hell was Wade? He should've been here by now. Logan checked his watch and growled to himself. He briefly considered just running to the fight, but just then he spotted a red minivan barreling down the street.
The minivan was red with what looked like to be a flaming velociraptor painted on the side. On the hood of the van looked like what had to be custom decals of Spiderman and deadpool kissing surrounded by a giant gaudy pink heart.
Logan knows for damn sure that when Peter finds out about that monstrosity, its getting painted right the fuck over.
A little girl is leaning out of the back windows of the van, her hair up in pigtails, screaming into a megaphone.
"WEE-WOOO WEE-WOO WEE-WOO" Ellie screams into the megaphone loud enough for all of manhattan to hear.
Deadpool finally pulls up to where Wolverine is standing, as he rolls down the window, Logan can see a red glowstick and a blue glowstick taped to either side of his mask.
Wade is grinning so hard, Logan can see it under his mask.
"Wolvie buddy! good to see ya!"
"HEEEEIIIIIIIIII" Ellie greets Logan through the megaphone "WE'RE A POLICE CAR"
Logan rubs his ears. He should've just ran.
"I can fucking see that" he growls "It took you long enough to get here Wade, also you can't take your kid"
Wade pouts "Not enough time to drop Ellie off at home after her dance practice Wolvie, It's kind of an all-hands on deck situation. She'll just have to stay in the car."
Ellie looks enraged "WHAT?" she screams into the microphone and both men wince, "I CAN HELP!"
"Baby-girl, this is dangerous1 I don't want you to get hurt. Stay in the car baby."
Ellie lowers the microphone as Wolverine moves around the car "Its not like I can die you know."
Wolverine looks up "The fuck did this happen?"
Ellie smiles "I got knocked off a horse in girl-scout camp and the bone healed before my troop leader got us to the hospital!"
Deadpool frowns "Just because you can't die, doesn't mean I like it when you get hurt, now sit your butt down."
Ellie huffs but obediently sits down.
When Logan motions to get into the passenger side of the van Deadpool stops him.
"Nuh-uh wolvie, Shotgun is for Spidey."
"I. AM. NOT. SITTING. IN. THE BACK." Logan growls.
"MY CAR MY RULES. GET IN THE BACK.
Logan grumbles and sits in the back of the van by the pouting Ellie. They take a moment to pout together, both of their shoulders hunched and arms crossed.
Deadpool starts the van and starts to drive like a maniac towards where the battle is.
Logan takes this moment to look at the girl next to him. She sits pouting and furious next to him in what looks like a...pink tutu?
"Nice duds twerp." Logan teases.
Ellie turns to Logan condescendingly "This happens to be my battle-tutu Wolvie, besides-" She motions to the black briefs of his costume, "At least I know to put my panties on the inside of my pants"
Oh no she didn't.
"THEY. ARE. NOT. PANTIES." logan growls at the girl
"panties."
"NOT. PANTIES"
"PANTIES"
"NOT"
Ellie picks up her megaphone again and yells into it "PANTIES!"
Logan uses his claws to cut the megaphone in half. The megaphone sparks in Ellie's hands and neatly falls apart.
"HEY!" Ellie throws the rest of the megaphone at Wolverine's head "THAT WAS MINE!"
Deadpool looks back at the pair from the front seat "Don't make me separate you two! Logan, don't pick fights with kids! Ellie, don't tease Logan about his panties, he's a very sensitive man!"
"WATCH THE ROAD BUB!" Logan screams as Wade crashes into a figure crossing the street.
The half of the zombie that Wade hits snarls against the windshield. Deadpool looks back to his two stunned passengers.
"huh….looks like we're here!"
Wolverine and Deadpool immediately exit the car, Wolverine runs into the fight, claws out, ready to work out the overwhelming aggression this one car ride has worked up in him.
Deadpool leans into the backseat to kiss Ellie on the forehead "Stay in the car baby-girl, stay safe and I'll be right back!"
"But I can heeeeeeelp" Ellie pouts and gives her dad the face that usually gets her whatever she wants.
"Not today baby girl. Stay. In. The. car." Deadpool points at her, locks the door and goes out into the fray of shambling dead and superheroes, blades drawn.
Ellie huffs and looks at the battle from outside the car window. Superheroes from all over the city have come together for this fight. She sees Hawkeye sniping undead from atop a nearby building, Black widow whirls like a dervish, slicing zombie after zombie, Captain America uses his super awesome shield, The hulk picks up handfuls of zombies at a time like dandelions and squishes them.
She sees her dads in the distance, two whirling blobs of red, fighting together before Deadpool uses his katanas as a springboard for Spiderman, giving him a quick kiss before bouncing him high into the air for him to swing to a new vantage point.
Siiiiiiiiiggh….
Why can't she help? They have it mostly under control. She's wearing her battle-tutu. Her dad has been giving her martial arts lessons, she's great with a butterfly knife, that one time when her dad took her to the Avenger's tower he let her help them kill little goo monsters.
That was a great day. She took one of Iron man's vintage baseball bats to go and fight. He even let her keep in afterwards.
...Speaking of which…
Ellie reaches under the backseat and yup! the baseball bat is right there! Man this bat has great memories...She met the Avengers that day, drew a picture of Iron man touching Captain America's butt that her father still refuses to take down from its spot on the conference room wall..
...She also proved how useful she could be when she helped kill the goo monsters!
Oh hecks yes...Battle tutu activated, this Princess is going into battle!
She uses her butterfly knife to cut some wires in the door panel and the locking mechanism disengages. Score! She'll show them! She'll be the youngest Avenger, like EVER.
With the door open she can hear more clearly the growls of the undead and the spattering of blood.
She steps on a piece of intestine when she gets out of the car.
Cool.
She grabs her lucky baseball bat and heads into battle, eyes aflame and tutu aflutter.
Because of her low stature the Zombies hardly even notice her, she heads towards a straggler. She hits the dead guy in the back of the knee, his leg gives way and when he hits the concrete she wastes no time in bashing his face in.
Giggling manically and smashing some undead jerk's head in, Ellie is having the time of her life. Its like a meat pinata!
She repeats the process. One Zombie! Two Zombie! Red Zombie! Blue Zombie!
These are some really weirdly colored Zombies, the fuck is up with that?
Shes on to her fifth zombie when Aunty Natasha slides an arm around her and picks her up from her latest kill. Black widow throws the girl over her shoulder and quickly shoots the still partially alive (undead?) zombie in the head.
Ellie flails in her arms "AUNTY I HAD THAT!"
"This isn't a game Ellie." she says calmly. "None of us want to see you get hurt."
Ellie huffs, and here she thought Aunty Natasha was cool.
"Pick up on aisle three" Black Widow whispers into her communicator and motions to the girl in the blood stained tutu on her shoulder.
From the building above them, Spiderman shot a web at his step-daughter.
Ellie winced. She is so in trouble.
With one final tug at the webbing Peter pulled Ellie onto the rooftop.
"Oh my God Ellie are you hurt?!" Peter plucked at the bloodstains adorning the
tattered tutu to make sure none of them were from the small girl in front of him.
Ellie avoided his masked gaze, looking off to the side and rubbing the arm that still clutched the baseball bat she sheepishly replied "...no..."
The tenseness in Peter's shoulders relaxed ans he huffed out a sigh of relief "Oh THANK GOD..." before immediately tensing up again and grabbing the young girl's shoulders and shaking her "AND JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING MISSY? YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN HURT!"
Ellie grit her teeth as tear ran down her face. Her chubby little cheeks growing red with rage " AND SO WHAT? ITS NOT LIKE I WOULD'VE DIED! I HAVE MY DAD'S HEALING FACTOR! MY REEEEAAAAL DAD'S HEALING FACTOR!"
The words were scarcely out of her mouth before she regretted them, it was unfair to play the 'you're not my real dad' card but she was too angry to stop now.
"I WAS DOING GOOD!" Her tiny little fists shook at her sides "I CAN HELP! I CAN BE A HERO TOO!" her breathing was stuttered with sobs as angry tears continued to stream down her face. She just wanted to help. She just wanted to help...
Spiderman leaned back, releasing the child's shoulders to place his head in his hands. He took a deep breath before he removed his 's face underneath was bruised, his hair was sweaty and sticking to his temples, his cheeks were wet and his eyes glimmered with unshed tears.
Oh my god SHE made an ADULT cry...
Peter leveled her with the most serious look she had ever seen in her short life and she could feel the gravity of it in her bones "What EXACTLY do you think me, your REAL dad and the other Avengers are doing here?"
Ellie felt paralyzed by her step-father's hard hazel glare and it took a couple of swallows before she could answer him "...being heroes?..."
Peter's gaze was unwavering "WHY."
"...why what?"
"WHY. ARE. WE. HEROES?"
Ellie hunched her shoulders and clutched the baseball bat nervously "...ummm...to fight monsters and bad people?..."
Peter shook his head "WHY. Do we fight monsters and bad people?"
What was he talking about? "...b-b-because they're monsters and bad people!"
Peter's face softened and he clutched Ellie's shoulders softer this time. "That's not the point of this Ellie..." Peter stood up from where he was crouching over Ellie to go and sit on the edge of the roof he patted the space next to him and Ellie obediently went and sat next to Peter.
Peter quickly seat-belted Ellie to where she was seated with a strand of webbing "so you don't fall off..." Peter explained.
Ellie huffed "I'm not a baby you know..." she whispered.
Peter ignored her last statement and motioned out to the battlefield below them. Captain America was leading civilians out of the fight zone while the rest of the Avengers and Deadpool continued to keep the horde of zombies at bay.
Huh...so that's what they were doing all along? It looks different from up here...
"See? They're not fighting just because they're monsters or because they want to look cool or be heroes...We're all doing this because we want to protect people..."
The screeches, bolts of arc rector beams and bolts of lightning from the battle were muffled from this high up. The sun was setting over the battlefield and the rosy light painted their cheeks in dusty pinks and oranges. Ellie swung her feet from where they dangled off of the ledge as a calm fell over the blood stained pair.
"you know.." Peter began, a nostalgic look on his face "I used to have problems with the same thing..." Ellie leaned in "When I first got my powers I didn't use them well, I had fun, I tormented bullies, I won bets and then..." Peter wiped his cheek with a bloodstained glove "I accidentally let my uncle die because of some stupid argument with a store clerk... because I hadn't been doing it for the right reasons..."
Ellie looks at Peter "...the guy on Aunty May's mantle-place..."
"Yeah..." Peter sighed "...The guy on Aunty may's mantle-place... Uncle Ben..."
Ellie bumped Peter's shoulder with her own "...sorry..."
"I'm not done with the story yet, but thank you..." Peter put an arm around her and continued "And so I started to fight because I was angry... Because I was angry that there was people like the man who killed my uncle out there...not getting punished..."
Ellie listened to his heartbeat as the words began to sink in "But that isn't right either... I was so focused on getting the bad guy that I let someone ELSE I loved die AGAIN..."
Ellie looked up at Peter to see the sunset light glimmer in the tears rolling down his cheeks "...The girl you never talk about..."
"...Yeah..." Peter sniffed and wiped his eyes again "...yup...Gwen...The girl I never talk about..."
"It should never be about looking cool or beating up monsters or bad guys... While those are definitely perks, It should always be about protecting innocent people and the people you care about..."
Ellie cuddled into Peter's sides "...So that's what I did wrong..." she whispered.
Peter quickly flicked Ellie on the nose, she snorted and batted his hand away. "Yes but I'm still not done with my story..."
"I was sad for a really long time after that...I met your dad and I was mean to him...even though he was really trying, because he reminded me too much of what I was like and what I had done wrong... but I began teaching him what i had learned and well...I learned about everything he went through, all the horrible things he had to endure...After all of that he was still good under all of that...he just didn't always see it...I began to admire him and...well..."
Ellie looked up to see the blush flit across Peter's cheeks.
"...We make each other happy...happier than either of us thought we could be after everything we've been through..." Peter smiles. "But I'm not what changed him you know..."
Wait what?
Peter smiles down at her "It was YOU..." Peter giggles at Ellie's shocked expression "He changed for you! Ellie do you have any idea how important you are to him? What he would do for you? To us? what WE would do for you?"
"I made him a better person, but it was YOU who made him a hero..."
Ellie couldn't have stopped her tears now if she tried, she bundled herself up into Peter's arms and sobbed. Peter rubbed her back and slowly rocked her back and forth.
"Shhhh you're ok Ellie...Thats why you have to keep safe Ellie...I don't know what would happen to him if you got hurt, what would happen to me either..."
Ellie sniffled in Peter's arms "I can't die you know...you'll always have me..."
Peter kissed the top of her head and continued to rock her "I know honey...but none of us want to see you get hurt...your dad is used to it but every time he cuts off an arm or a leg or dies it hurts. It hurts him Ellie. Every. Single. Time."
"You know, your dad wasn't really your dad until he started to take care of you...before that he was just some guy who got your mom pregnant...It takes a lot of work and a lot of love to REALLY be a dad..."
Peter takes Ellie's hands in his own and kisses her on her forehead. "Every single day we EARN the right to be your dads...both of us... We do this to protect the city and make the world a better place for you to live in..."
Ellie clutches the spandex of his suit and kisses Peter on the nose "I'm sorry for saying you aren't my real dad...you Are...you are...I'm sorry..."
Peter hugs Ellie to his chest "I know baby girl...I know..." He rocks Ellie back and forth and they both take a moment to just sob "And if when you're older, and you still want to become a hero...We'll teach you ok? We'll teach you how to do it right and how to stay safe ok?"
Ellie sniffled and tucked her face into her father's neck. "...yeah...I'd like that..."