Lily Evans was my first crush.
I know, I know. James had claimed her long before I admitted to her how I felt, and oddly enough, she had felt the same way.
But I'd better slow down. Go back to the beginning.
Lily and I were quick friends, we both hung out in the library, enjoyed school, disliked it when James and Sirius pulled huge pranks. We talked about things we couldn't talk about to our other friends. She'd talk to me about her secrets, and I talk to her about mine. She figured out I was a werewolf long before James, Sirius, and Peter did.
She was clever and respected by most of her peers. Except James and Sirius, of course. Most of all, she was respected by me. She was kind and caring, and helped people who needed it. She had those gorgeous green eyes that twinkled when she was laughing or joking around (which James and Sirius never saw of her for a long time, might I add).
When I found out James had a crush on her, I told her. She thought it was sweet, but she had no idea I was crushing on her too. That was the only secret I hadn't told her. On Valentine's day, both James and I sent her anonymous valentines. Mine held poetry, James's held expressions of kindness. I actually helped him write his. Lily thought that James had sent two cards.
By our second year, James started sending her sweet somethings. Flowers, chocolates, enchanted roses meant to last forever. When James would ask me what I thought of them, I would give a weak smile. When Lily laughed at how cute they were, I would give her a weak smile too.
One day, in our third year, when James was sick in the Hospital Wing because he had gotten the flu, I shyly asked Lily to go with me to Hogsmeade. Only as friends! But I had wished we were more. We walked around, and ended up having a picnic in our favorite tree. We shared our first kiss, and we both laughed about it later. I never let James know—he would kill me.
Over the next few years I let James ask out Lily at least once everyday, I could see how they were meant to be. He was cocky, and sometimes arrogant. She was selfless and caring. Together, they balanced each other out. We slowly drifted apart as friends. She would hang out with her girls, and I would hang out with the Marauders.
I was the first person Lily admitted that she liked James to. She had me promise that I wouldn't tell, and if I did, she would make sure I would be guilty for life. So I kept my mouth shut, though I wanted to tell James so he would shut up asking her out and getting denied.
At the end of September of our seventh year, they were officially a couple.
We got closer again, and the groups became good friends. The Marauders and Lily's girls would converse and enjoy things together, but though I laughed, I was filled with pain inside. Why had I told her James liked her? Why did I have to be friends with James? If I wasn't friends with him, it would be so much easier to despise their relationship. But no, I was good little Remus Lupin who was everybody's best friend, and supported everybody in their dreams.
I thought I would never find love again.
Years went by, Lily and James died, leaving behind a little baby boy who represented Lily and James by their strong characteristics. He had Lily's gorgeous green emeralds for eyes, and James's unruly raven black hair, but he bore a scar on his forehead.
I didn't see him again until Dumbledore offered me a job to work as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. He was stubborn, like James, and despised Severus Snape, but was a good student (when he wasn't getting in trouble).
Soon the Order of the Phoenix was recalibrated with the new rise of Voldemort again.
And I met Nymphadora Tonks.
She had Lily's laugh, but she had her own unique characteristics that I cherished. However, she was years and years younger than me, and I decided I was too dangerous for her. She didn't care, just like my friends hadn't cared that I was a werewolf either.
Eventually we got married, and soon I felt trapped. I wanted to get back out in the world. I had given away my virginity to her, and she to me, and she was going to make a mini-Moony, as my friends would have called it. But now all of them were dead. And Peter, as good as dead.
I ran off to Harry and his friends, and he yelled at me. He wanted me to go back to my wife and unborn child, be a father like the one he never had. I had tried to run away from my fears, that I would be heartbroken somehow if Tonks ever died, like how I felt when Lily got married, and then had a child…and then died.
I came home, and supported her as much as I could. When our son was born we named him after her dead father…
Together, we went off and fought for the greater good, and fell together.
And now I am with the first and second loves of my life, and I couldn't be happier.
Remus Lupin
What did you think? It was spur of the moment, and I didn't mean it to, but I turned out really sad. I named it Puppy Love because he's a werewolf...and I darned love that phrase with this character (it would work for Sirius, too.)
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ArtChick