It's kind of funny, Keith thinks. He'd always thought it'd be his personality that would drive people away from him, or maybe insufficient skills, or something like that.
And now, ironically, it ended up being his Galran heritage, of all things, the one thing he can't even help. To be fair, the others are mostly fine with it, they are more curious than anything else, or so it seems, at least. But Allura… it hurts, if he is being honest. He doesn't know what makes those people so special, but he desperately wants their trust and approval.
(Except he does know what makes them special: they care about him just as much as he cares about them.)
They're his family, the thing he always wanted, but never had. And Allura was part of that new family of his, and, feeling her mistrust in every glare she gives him, her resentment that somehow is even more obvious when she doesn't even say it, just shows it by excluding him in her statements, all that is more painful than he would have expected.
And then, they're being forced to do those stupid vlogs. Keith doesn't know what to say, initially, but once he mentions his heritage, it's like he can't stop the words anymore. He talks and talks and it's too much, he's revealing way too much about himself, and then he thinks about how Allura is rejecting him just like he always thought she would - not her specifically, but everyone else, too -, just like other people - his mother - rejected him, and he tried so hard not to get attached, but that plan went to shit a long time ago, and now he loves them all so dearly it's almost painful.
The emotions bubble in his chest, and he's overwhelmed, so he does the most logical thing and flees, trying and failing to hide the tears in his eyes from the others as he rushes past them to his room.
He kicks off his boots and sobs into his pillow uncontrollably for a few minutes. Then he's able to quiet it down until it's just tears streaming silently down his face. For that, he is grateful, he would like to keep at least some of his dignity in case someone walks past his room, at least this way they can't hear him from three doors away.
He's pathetic, he thinks, and it's all because he got attached, he knew he shouldn't have, should've kept his distance, but he failed.
He stares at the ceiling, feeling drained from his breakdown, doesn't keep track of the time that passes - minutes, maybe, or an hour or two, he really doesn't know - and then there's a knock on his door.
He tenses, unsure, but then sighs and says with a hopefully somewhat steady voice, "Yes."
The door opens, and the person he'd expected the least enters.
He suddenly feels hyperconscious of Allura's eyes on his face that must show the unmistakable proof that he was crying just a few minutes - or hours? - ago, and he rubs at his eyes self-consciously.
Allura looks like she doesn't quite know what to do with herself, so she hesitates for a moment before she asks, "May I sit down?"
Keith gives a curt nod and moves to make room for her.
Allura stares at her hands. "Keith, I must apologize. I- we saw the video you made."
Keith tenses again. Of course he'd expected them to watch it, especially after the more than embarrassing leave he took, but actually knowing they watched it is different. He isn't quite sure he'll ever be able to face them again. Maybe he could just permanently move into Red's cockpit, he's sure she'd like getting to spend more time together.
He doesn't know what to say, so he follows Allura's example and studies his hands in his lap.
"I did not realize my words and actions were causing you this much pain," Allura continues. "I was wrong, I know that now. You are still the same, I do not know how I was blinded by my hatred like this, but please know that nothing has changed, for me at least. I hope you can accept my apology." She sounds earnest, and so ashamed of herself, and Keith admires how she, despite the way she usually carries herself with dignity and authority, she is not above admitting being wrong. She would have made a great queen of Altea, he thinks.
"It's okay," Keith says, because he was never angry at her to begin with. And now he is just glad - and happy - that she doesn't hate him after all. He really doesn't think he could've handled that.
He can practically feel her relief when she surges forward and hugs him. He flinches, surprised, because he's never been good with being touched, but then he catches himself, and hugs her back with a small smile.
Title is taken from Sunrise Avenue's song Question Marks. They're my favourite band, I recommend them.
I've been reading Voltron fics for the past two or three weeks, and Keith has stolen my heart, so here's a little bit of love for him.
Comments and kudos mean the world, please do let me know if you liked it.