Hoss Explains It All

As I see it, the problem with Joe is that he don't know when to give up, when to just let things go. When we was younger, even with me bein' near six years older than him and havin' at least a hunnerd pounds on him, he wouldn't give up, no matter what. Iffen we was wrestlin' for some reason or 'nother, usually 'cause he did somethin' that riled me, I could beat 'im into the dirt and he'd still drag himself up and wale into me again, barely able to stand but ready to take more. Many a time I had to holler for Pa or Hop Sing while I held off Joe. They would come runnin' and pull 'im offa me and he'd be cryin' but still swingin'. I swear that boy's got more guts than brains some times.

Anyway, Pa said that Joe's just a kid an' feels he's always needin' to prove himself . Adam said that Joe's just provin' himself a mule-headed, self-centered brat. I think they're both right. Anyway, it's Joe's hard-headedness and his hot temper that got him into so much trouble and we were discussin' it at the table. Joe was upstairs in bed with a broken left arm. The doc had left 'bout a half hour ago and Hop Sing had taken up some beef broth and if I know Joe-and I do-he's conned Hop Sing into spoonin' the stuff right inta his mouth. That boy can give the most sad, moon-eyed look that would melt the hardest person's heart and Hop Sing, well, he may rant and furrow his brow and act like he's mad at things, but he's a pushover when it comes to Joe-just like Pa.

You see, it all started when the three of us, me, Adam and Joe went into Virginia City to pick up feed. Since Adam had just come home from college 'bout two weeks ago, people were comin' up to him and sayin' hello and askin' 'bout college and sayin' things like how proud our pa must be. And let me tell you, he was proud. Why Pa just 'bout bust his shirt buttons he was so swelled up with pride. The Cartwrights done got themselves a college graduate in the family!

Now me, I'm just as proud as Pa. Older brother was always smart and now that he done showed just how smart he is and has a piece of paper to attest to it, well, it shows that a whole group of smart men decided that Adam is as smart as they are and gave him a paper-a diploma with fancy writin'-to prove it. Pa bought a frame for Adam's diploma and hung it on the wall behind his desk downstairs. Adam said not to but Pa said that he paid enough for it and he wanted to be able to look at it whenever he chose. Adam just laughed and so did I but Joe, well, he just stayed quiet, kinda poutin'.

Seems like I was the only one who noticed that Joe seemed a little bit nettled. Okay, a lot nettled. So later, I asked him what had crawled up his butt.

"Nothin's crawled up my butt but have you noticed how, now that Adam's come home, Pa doesn't even seem to notice us anymore? I got a good grade on that paper I wrote about George Washington and Pa just smiled and said that if I worked harder, I could maybe go to college like Adam. I thought that since I finally got a good grade, Pa would maybe keep my paper, maybe even frame it like he did Adam's diploma but he didn't. No, it's only Adam this and Adam that-he's Pa's favorite now."

Well, I knew then what it was that put Joe in such a foul mood-Joe was jealous. See, he was only five when Adam went away to college-almost six. Adam had missed that birthday but he had sent a book on horses to Joe and written, "Happy Sixth Birthday, Joe! From your loving brother, Adam." Now Joe couldn't read yet but he liked lookin' at the pictures so he would sit on the settee, his legs not even long enough to bend, and pretend to read it. He would make up words to go along with the pictures. Hell, I knew he wasn't readin' and when I'd try to see the page, to look at the words, why Joe'd slam the book shut and tell me it was his book and no one else could look at it. Since I was older than him, almost 12 years old, I knew what game Joe was playin' and I just played along, lettin' him think I believed he could read. Didn't do no harm and Pa even said somethin' to me about it, puttin' his hand on my shoulder and tellin' me he was glad I was grown enough to let Joe have his pride.

In the five years Adam was gone, Joe became the pet of the household. Hop Sing spoiled him and it wasn't just 'cause Momma had died but that probably had a part of why Pa paid so much attention to Joe. But I understood 'cause I spoiled him myself. And let me tell you, them older ladies at church and such, well, they made a big fuss over Joe ever time they saw him. But I didn't mind. I mean he was just a baby still and needed to be loved and comforted. So Joe was petted and loved and treated special. And I guess he was-still is.

The bad part was that Joe knows it and uses it. He knows he's a good-lookin' boy-downright pretty and all he has to do is flash a smile and he's won another heart. But it had been a long time since Adam'd been around and Joe wasn't used to having a grown brother who was both smart and handsome and not only did all the people now just give Joe only passing recognition and focus on Adam but pretty girls buzzed around Adam as well. Pa gave Adam a party, a welcome home party where Adam was the center of attention, but them girls just swarmed around him.

'Course these girls were far too old for Joe but it seemed that even the pigtailed ones smiled like idiots when in Adam's company. That really burned Joe. But Adam, he just kinda took it all in stride and made no big to-do over it. I had to admire 'im for that; he never had a big head.

Anyway, to get back to how Joe ended up with a broken arm and a bruised body, we had loaded up the wagon at the feed store, had some lunch at the Imperial House where Joe had two desserts same as me even though he left half his chicken-fried steak and mashed potatoes, and we were walkin' back to where the wagon was when Sam Dabbs at the livery called out to Adam so we stopped. Sam welcomed Adam home, shaking his hand and sayin' how he heard Adam was back and makin' a joke that goin' to college hadn't seemed to hurt him none. Well, I joined in the conversation and we were just talkin', you know, shootin' the breeze and laughin' and all when Joe piped up.

"How long are you two gonna stand here and talk?"

Well, we all fell silent and looked at him. And then Adam bein' Adam said, "As long as we want to." Then he started talkin' again to Sam and me but I noticed how Joe got dark. See, like I already said, when Adam left for college, Joe was still a little kid and his temper was indulged-Pa didn't have the heart to punish him for nuthin' cause Moma had died, not even when Joe'd throw himself on the floor and howl cause he'd been...what's that word? Oh yeah, thwarted. Joe didn't like being thwarted. So Joe got into the habit of doin' what he wanted with no consequences. And as he got older, Joe behaved worse and worse and Pa'd lost so much ground with 'im that there wasn't much he could do anymore. Even Hop Sing dasn't do anything. Seems like Adam though, he wouldn't take that truck from Joe and Joe didn't like that any. So after 'bout a half minute, Joe stomped off.

I was gonna go after 'im but Sam started tellin' us a story 'bout Mr. Jenkins-he's one of them holier than thou people-you know the kind-well, seems his wife caught'im kissin' Jenny Gruber, the woman who milks their cows, and it was gettin' real interestin' so I stayed. After about another half hour or so, a customer came in the livery and Sam said next time we were in town, to stop by and remind him to tell the story 'bout when Malachi Bowen went out for big horn sheep-it was a doozy, he said.

So Adam and me said our goodbyes and headed to the feed store but when we got to the empty lot next to it where we'd left the wagon, it was gone. That's where people pulled up and the feed sacks and such were brought out the side door and loaded-kept the street clear.

"What the hell?" Adam said, standing there with his hands on his hips.

"Hey, Morey," I called out, "where's our wagon? You move it?"

Now Adam had asked old man Barker 'iffen we could leave our wagon there and he said, sure, no problem., joked he didn't charge for that. So it was a surprise to both Adam and me that the wagon was gone, especially since we expected to see Joe sulking in the bed waiting. Morey said that Joe showed up and said he was to take the wagon down the street and asked would Morey back it out for him-Morey did.

Now there were two strong horses hitched to it and it was full of heavy bags of feed, horse feed, cow feed and chicken feed-enough to last for 'bout three months. Since we hadn't seen Joe pass us on the street, Adam and me knew exactly what happened-Joe was takin' the wagon home and leavin' me and Adam in town. Sounded just like Joe.

"I swear, I'm going to tear that boy apart," Adam said as he stalked back to the livery.

"Now, Adam" I said walking beside 'im, "don't go losing your temper none. Pa says Joe needs understandin'."

"What Joe needs is for Pa to drag him out to the woodshed and give him a few licks with his razor strop. That's what he needs."

I had to agree.

We rented two horses from Sam Dabbs and took off for the Ponderosa. We were followin' the wagon ruts on the road 'stead of cuttin' across the property to save time like we usually do on horseback, but we had to catch Joe. I was scared as Adam that somethin' bad would happen to Joe. It took a grown man to handle those horses and though Joe might think he could do the same things a grown man could do, he couldn't.

Well, we'd been ridin' hard 'bout fifteen minutes or so and still no wagon, no Joe. Joe couldn't 've covered that much road and us not've seen him yet so Adam pulled up his horse and I did too.

"Why'd we stop?"

"You know Joe-do you think he'd take the wagon home by himself? Maybe he's still in town."

I thought for just a few seconds and then I knew. "Not only would he take the wagon home just to spite us but he'd be determined to get there afore us. Dang, Adam, I bet once he was outta town, he snapped them reins and those horses done took off. Look at them ruts in the road."

Adam did. He noticed that they weren't particularly straight. Well, we kicked our horses pretty hard and I was right. Another mile and a half and we saw the wagon layin' on its side. The horses had done broke loose and feed was spilled all over the ground.

Adam jumped off his horse afore it even stopped and I joined him at Joe's side. He was sittin by the side of the road. His face was dirty which made the tear streaks stand out and he was holdin' one arm against himself and rockin.

"I think it's broke, Adam. It hurts so much."

Adam tried to check Joe's arm but he cried out so much that Adam stopped. "We've got to get you home," Adam said, still kneeling.

"Woudn't it be better to take 'im to the doc in town?"

"We're more than halfway home-no sense to head back to town." Adam stood up and helped Joe get to his feet. "Get Doc Martin, Hoss, and I'll take Joe home. We'll ride double."

Well, I got the doctor and Adam said that he and Joe met Pa on the road. Seems that them two jug-headed horses went straight to the barn and Pa saw them draggin' their traces and knew somethin' bad had happened.

So that's how Joe ended up gettin' his arm broke and Pa was so happy that Joe was otherwise okay and hadn't broke his fool neck that Joe never even got a lecture from Pa. Nothin'.

I asked Adam about it. "Iffen it was me, Adam, I hate to think what Pa woulda said."

"You? Me! I got away with nothing when I was Joe's age! I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week. I would've had to eat standing up."

"You think it's gonna be like that always?"

Adam sighed and considered my question.

"Wouldn't surprise me. Wouldn't surprise me at all."

~ Finis ~