Your job as a hitman, you loathe it, don't you? Your calmness is your weapon, with your stealth and agility an aide. You've been through hell and back, but for some reason, you just can't stop reminding yourself about all the people that you have killed, with their blood stained on your hands.
"The gun. You would've taken the gun. Wouldn't you? You would've grabbed it, and loaded it. You're more clever than this, Nico." The woman lowers her weapon. You can tell she has a killing intent behind her words, and you are certain of your death. Each breath you exhaled formed a white fog that vaguely resembled a smoke, and you feel yourself getting lost in these useless thoughts.
"Kill me and become a savior." One step. She moves toward you by one step. She says those words, and her expression is as still as ever. You flinch. Her scowl reeks of hurt, and you understand why.
"No." You faintly back away. You want to leave. There was something about a cold, winter day and a tall woman with fierce, red hair that made you feel cornered. You can see your breaths so clearly in the air yet you feel like you're suffocating.
You can see her hesitate as she clenches her fists, "Why.. why didn't you kill me?" Both her arms were shaking. You don't know how to respond to her question, because you don't know why you didn't kill her either.
You remember that time when she killed your best friend, and you had a chance to kill her. She was inside a room, with you, your best friend's dead body, and her trapped within a room, and only you knew the way out. You threatened to kill her with insults, but you felt something pull your leg and stop you from pulling the trigger. You don't know why.
Now you two sit in the middle of nowhere, with trees surrounding you and no buildings can be found at a 100 km proximity. You are sure that you will die today. She stands in front of you. The person who let you feel how it meant to be truly alive, and the person who'll end it once and for all.
"I don't know, either." You scoffed, smugly. It takes you a hard time to manage to speak and talk back to her, but you've done it. Your confidence sounded false, but the woman opposite to you didn't bat an eye. She had her own business to take care of. Presumably, her own insecurities and falsehood.
The night is growing closer, and you can feel the atmosphere getting colder. You have to get home, now.
"If you don't have much to tell me, I'm leavi-" Turning your back against her, you try to leave. She grabs your hand and stops you. As you try and pull it away, her grip becomes tighter. Something in your large brain pieced up a tiny puzzle of what would await from her actions, but you breathe and sigh.
There is something that touches your head. Heavy and big. Your pupils move to try and detect the source.
It is a gun, just as you deduced.
You raise both your arms in the air to show that you surrender, but her arms aren't failing her and it keeps its stance steady, quietly sitting on your head.
"Kill me, then. Aren't you brave enough, Maki-chan?" Your tone had gone playful, as if the gun to your head wasn't there. Calmness was your fortitude after all.
You gulp, and you can physically feel your heart tightening up. 'Let me go home. Please'. You could almost beg to the gods, but you remember your constant reminder that they don't exist.
The gun presses harder on your hair. Your heart beats faster, and this time, you can feel it pulsing through your chest. You need the medicine. Now.
"I'm brave? Where on earth did you hear that, Nico-chan?" Her hand is shaking, you feel it. She hesitates to shoot you, but you get why. She's about to shoot one of the most notorious criminals in history, and that criminal doesn't even look like she cares. Probably because she really doesn't.
You ignore her previous comments and decide to go on and talk. You'd prefer not to see any deaths tonight. Blood stain would stick to you when you take the train home and it would attract unwanted attention. God do you hate that icky red blood.
"Please just let me go home. You drove me to the middle of nowhere just to make me take off my coat and talk to me. Easiest way you could've done it was to take me to dinner first." You turn your head slightly to the left to see her expression and what she feels right now. You can decipher it, 'Keep on blabbering and a bullet will pass through your head'
Sighing, you say a few words again. "Lighten up, will you?"
"How? You haven't done my request." Her voice and strength remain unwavering. It doesn't seem like she's intimidated of you.
"I don't listen to anyone, you of all people should know that." The 'all' in your sentence was emphasized. There was a type of smoothness, which is a characteristic commonly used in poison, that went along your short sentence, and you know that she could feel your threat too.
"Try self-service. Miss brave. Oh, that was a pun by the way. Merida, you know- redhead." Jesting has become your common gesture, and it's become a habit when you sense someone's negativity is going wild. Put it in short terms, when someone is going to die.
The gun, which was pressed hard on your head, violently shakes. You can easily tell from that moment that another life is lost under your name.
"Didn't know you were that heartless." She chuckles. Probably her last.
"Judging from all the murders I've done, you should think I am." You taunt, and you could feel the gun slowly separate from your head.
You take a deep breath and prepare yourself for the worst. Death is coming. The woman you were friends with, will disappear in front of your eyes, and you won't do anything to stop it?
No, you won't. Being a hitman means you kill, and that's exactly what you do. Nothing else. If ever, you'd prefer that no one should be born so that your job gets easier.
The gun removes itself from your head fully, and you close your eyes. No, you clench them close. There was a reason why you would always refuse to shoot her.
Yet you continue to close your eyes, and hope that in the next ten years, her lifeless body will not remain in your brain, and instead remain in the crematorium, where you're sure it'll stay.
No. You want to save her. Those days where you two walked together, you savored every moment of it. You haven't forgotten about it, because you have been with her ever since you were seventeen.
Moving your head accordingly, you've decided that she will live, and she will be together with you like she always has.
"You know, you could've just said you loved me too." She says, and that was the final push. You are determined. You will not let her die.
You turn your head.
Bang.
You blink.
A thud.
Her body falls to the ground.
"Maki." You say it. Her name.
"Maki." Again.
"Maki." And again.
No reaction.
Your sight moves down, and you can see her smiling at you like usual.
You blink again, and this time, you see her lifeless. You see her dead.
Your first love and your last, Nishikino Maki.
She has been in your hit list before. You always refused your clients every time they phoned you and came to tell you they needed your help, but you ignored them.
Being a world-famous doctor who might just have discovered the cure to cancer had its disadvantages.
Dying at the age of 26 was one of them.
Leaning down and letting a breath out, you try and stop yourself from feeling those warm beads inside your eyes, but there's nothing that can stop you.
"Ma.." One bead falls out. Right on her face. "Ki." You feel dead.
"Wait- I.. I should..." You grab from your pocket your small mobile phone and take out its camera to take a picture. Proof that she had died. You'll get the money if you send the picture to the clients.
You point the phone at her. You pause. Was money worth it? You wonder. No, it isn't. She was right. You are heartless. Moreover, soon enough, you will lose your heart. Your sickness, goddammit.
Standing up, you tuck your phone within your pocket and walk to the car. You needed to do something, and if not done now, then when? Unzipping your pink duffel bag, you grab a bottle of pills and removed its cap, taking one- no, four pills.
You sigh in relief and look back on her dead body.
You walk towards it, and you hate yourself for leaving your tears on her face. DNA. You don't even care anymore. Let the police find you, that'll make it more interesting.
You kneel down, examining her pretty face, and caress it. The bullet wound on her head didn't quite matter right now.
"I wish.. that I.. could've." You circle your thumb on her temples. "I'm so sorry." You feel remorse. You feel remorse for her, but never for the people you've previously killed, because they are not Maki.
The only person you will feel anything for, is Maki.
Because you love her, and you still do.
You guess that is the reason why you never bothered to kill her. Bitterly chuckling to yourself, you mutter slightly. "Some words are best left unsaid." You move your hands over her eyes and close it
You really hate being a hitman, hmm?
"Inspector Ayase, any clues of importance?"
"No, but I found this." She hands a pill encased within a ziploc bag. "Please send it to the lab. Tell me results after." Looking back at the body, she continued to investigate. A suicide could've been highly possible, but if so, why would there be a pill? It was laying right beside her body, and she didn't have any sicknesses. It was placed after she died, as she couldn't have been holding it. It was too far from her reach.
Something taps Eli's shoulder. It catches her off guard, but she continues to maintain her attention toward the lifeless body.
"What is it, Sonoda?" Her hands were preoccupied on finding other evidence that could prove her death wasn't a simple suicide.
"Thing is, we already know what it is. Before you got here, someone's already gotten their evidence and pieced everything up. A note was left in the lab, and.." Her eyes trail off, and she gives the blonde a small piece of paper with pretty writing on it.
"Wha-" She sees the paper, and her eyes widen.
The blue-haired woman began to read the paper, "T-the poison is potent. You already know who I am, Eli. You know where to find me, too. I'm afraid you'll have a hard time to find me. Probably dead in your lab. Keep searching. -N." She has already read the small paper over and over, but she couldn't help but stutter.
"Was there a body?" Eli's hands stop moving, and her head is now directed to her underclassman. The younger woman lowers her gaze, "No-none."
The blonde massages her temples, "She's one step ahead of us.."
"E-excuse me?"
"Nothing. Dismissed."
omake
You clutch your chest tightly, and you can't breathe. The poison was potent, but it took seven hours to melt within your system. The pain was unbearable, but you've had worse. Your death is sad, isn't it? After seeing your first love die, you took a detour at the lab, and you wrote the most useless note ever. Digesting the fact that you are about to die, you know what to do with your last words, don't you?
The man or woman you've been searching for so long, you've found them and their secrets, and you're prepared to show it to the world. Not too obvious, but subtle enough to notice.
You stand up, with your legs shaking, but still able to carry you to your destination.
Finally nearing your laptop, you open it and start to type.
"Tojo Nozomi is alive."
Satisfied with your last words, you move your body to rest on the couch and briefly remember all your memories you've had before you would completely forget about it. Closing your eyes, you feel the poison start to finally take effect. Finally. You're probably going to hell, but even that doesn't scare you anymore. You just want to lay down and rest.
"I've done a bad job, God."
A/N
watched sherlock. had this idea. had to type it down.
idk what i was going for but here i am.
thank you for bearing with the most boring story in the world.
im sorry