The Former Life of Stan

by JVM-SP150

Written in 2011, follow-up to "You're Getting Old"; Stan Marsh's world is crumbling around him and he doesn't know where to turn as his clinical cynicism continues to become more and more severe. His recently-divorced father, meanwhile, wants to take advantage of his youth. Meanwhile, the boys try to find a suitable replacement for Stan when they become obsessed with a gaming fad.

1. Chapter 1

Introduction: I originally wrote this fanfic from July to October 2011, between the airing of "You're Getting Old" and primarily before "Ass Burgers", though the final chapter was originally released afterward. When I deleted it last year I originally planned to either host it on another website or rewrite it entirely but eventually decided based on it's status as a direct response to the episodes at the time, it was best to leave it unedited... so here it is, as originally written. I'm not the proudest of this one, honestly, but it feels like the historical context is more important than my limited artistic 'integrity'. Please enjoy.

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"The Former Life of Stan" - Chapter One

Herbert Garrison yawned as the bell rang for another day at South Park Elementary School - another day of trying to teach a bunch of lazy bastards some stuff they'll forget as soon as they're let out for the summer. He sighed as he got up, taking a piece of chalk, "All right kids, good morining, how are we all today?" There were various murmured responses he did not care for, "Good, good. Do you all know what day it is?" Nothing. "It's Friendship Day, an idea from our former class President Wendy."

"Nice going." Stan Marsh rolled his eyes at his girlfriend, who glared back. "What a shitty idea." he added as Wendy glared at her long-time boyfriend. Although the two were normally quite close and had just overcome difficulties in their relationship fairly recently, their sparring as of late since Stan's birthday had just progressively become worse and worse.

"Stanley, leave your stupid girlfriend alone. Now, you all remember that paper I assigned on Wednesday on who your best friend is?" Garrison said, putting his hands on his hips, "It's due. Now what pair of best friends would like to go first? Let me guess, Stan and Kyle? You two ready to verbally make out in public for the two-hundredth time?" he asked. Stan rolled his eyes.

"I'll go up." Stan said, getting out of his seat and taking his paper as he approached the front of the classroom, his voice venomous. Garrison raised an eyebrow as Stan took the center, "My name is Stan, and my best friend is nobody, because friendship is all a big lie. You think you know who your friends are but then they abandon you because you're a buzzkill or you're not fun anymore. None of us will even know each other in fifteen years, and then we'll all get old and smelly and die. Fuck all of you."

"Good job, Stanley, you get a B- and to visit the Principal for using the 'F' word in my classroom." Garrison said apathetically - this was all routine, "Before we continue, does anyone else in here not have a best friend?" Tweek and Esther raised their hands, "All right, you both get F's. Who's next? Hm... Timmy and Jimmy?" Garrison said with boredom as Timmy and Jimmy rolled up to the front of the room. Stan left the room to see Principal Victoria.

"Well howdy there, everyone, me and my best p-p-pal Timmy are here to tell you all about f-f-friendship. You see, when me and Timmy first m-m-met, we really h-h-hated each other, and we got into a big fight. But since then, we've become really good f-f-friends, right Tim-Tim?" Jimmy asked as Timmy nodded before returning to staring into some kind of unknown abyss, "I know everything about Timmy - his f-f-f-fah f-f-f-fah, f-f-f-favorite color is red, his favorite movie is Forrest G-G-G-Gump, he loves eating b-b-b-bananas, and he likes Katy P-P-P-Perroy."

Timmy rolled forward a bit and looked at his paper, "Jimmah! Jimmay Jimmah Tim Tim Timmay, livin' a lie Timmah, Timmay tim timmy, Timmah, libalaw, daw libalaw Timmay, Jimmy Timmy, Timmeh Tim Timmay! Timmeh Tim Timmeh Tim Lords of the Underworld Timmay Timmah Tim Timmay Jimmy Timmy Jim Timmah Tim Timmay Sarah Silverman Timmy Tim Timmah!"

"Wow Timmy, in my twenty years of teaching that is the most touching speech I've ever heard." Garrison said as he took off his glasses and rubbed the front of his face - he looked quite tired as he sat back, "All right, all right... uhhh next is Kevin and Rebecca." he said, reading off a chart as he put it down and looked at one of the many photographs on his desk, looking at his own long-lost best friend.

"Uhh... hi..." Kevin Stoley went upfront with Red, the Chinese-American boy and red-haired girl both looking as if they had completely forgotten about this, "My name is Kevin and my best friend is Red. We've known each other since preschool... Red loves dancing and volunteers at the animal shelter once a week and she has a beautiful singing voice. She's really smart and her father owns the town bar. Red also likes video games and her favorite TV Show is Glee." he looked to his friend.

"My name is Rebecca Tucker - people who like their legs call me Red - and my report is on my best friend Kevin. Kevin's favorite movie is Star Wars of course and he loves anything Science Fiction. Kevin is creative and likes writing. He also enjoys history and tries to follow politics. Kevin's father is a bussinessman and his mother is a house wife and his uncle manages the local City Wok, and his aunt is a singer. Thank you."

"Thanks kids, those reports were absolutely gay. I'm sure if Fosse and Bill were still in this class they'd be laughing their little asses off, but they're next door with Thompson now I suppose. And next is..." Cartman stretched his arm out high in the air - or as high as his pudgy build would allow. Garrison's eyes left the photo and he straightened, raising an eyebrow in surprise, "I don't believe it. Eric, you have a best friend and you did your homework? Or are the brownies from last night still getting to me?"

"No, Mr. Garrison, me and my best friend would like to go up please." Cartman smirked, "And I promise you, it's not my hand this time." he pleaded, looking into his teacher's cold eyes. Garrison was puzzled - Cartman was fat, racist, foul-mouthed and unlikable in every way possible. Which child in his class would possibly put up with that kind of person?

"Well Eric, if you really have a best friend I guess you two can go up and read your reports on each other but I swear to God, if there is even one thing in your report Eric about yourself, I will invent the 'G' just so I can give it to you, do you understand me?" Garrison said, glaring forward. Cartman nodded and Garrison turned his attention back to the photograph as Cartman walked up to the front of the room, and was then joined by Kenny.

"Kinny, the fuck?" Cartman said angrily, "You think we're best friends? In your goddamn dreams! I have a new best friend now you stupid poor piece of crap." Kenny raised an eyebrow, "Some friend you were, Kinny, 'oh Eric, I hate you but I feel sorry for you'. You know what Kenny? That's not cool, man, it's not cool. Fuck off already!" Cartman said.

"...WHAT!?" Kenny said in disbelief, "What do you mean? We've always been best friends you fucking douchebag! I'm the only fucking one who laughs at your stupid racist jokes! I'm the only fucking one who sits there and watches NASCAR with you! What the fuck!?" Kenny grabbed at Cartman's fat, but the boy simply pushed Kenny away. Sighing and defeated, Kenny sat back down as Kyle got up next to Cartman.

"My best friend is Kahl Broflovski-" as soon as the words left Cartman's mouth, the entire class' collective jaws dropped. Even Garrison's eyes widened and eyebrows raised. It was as if the laws of the universe had been destroyed in the uterrance of those six words. Cartman smiled toward Kyle, "he's nine years old, Jewish and he hates bananas and piss. Kahl is very intelligent and ties for second smartest kid at our skewl. Kahl enjoys math, writing, the Terrance & Phillip show and kites."

"...Eric, do you need to see the nurse?" Mr. Garrison asked, raising an eyebrow, "Do you have a fever? Is your nose runny? Eric, how many fingers am I holding up?" Garrison held out his hand, four fingers out, "No wait, it's going to be all right Eric, we just need to take you to Nurse Gollum right away." Garrison said, rushing to his desk to grab

"Mr. Garrison, I think you're a smartass douchebag with dissociative identity disorder and every day I question how the fuck you got a teaching degree." Cartman said simply as if the words meant nothing, yet it was this very fact that showed he was telling the truth - there was no faux sweetness or gross overconfidence, nor anger or tears. Garrison patted the top of his head and sighed,

"Eric, I don't know what the hell happened to you but I guess you're okay besides your sudden affinity for your rival Kyle." Garrison shrugged and went to the chalkboard and began etching the pairs of friends so far: Jimmy and Timmy, Kevin and Red, Kyle and Cartman, "All right Kyle, I guess you can read your speech about Eric now since... you two are... friends... apparently..."

"Eric Cartman is one of the least popular kids in school but deep down he's actually really cool. He has amazing charisma and great leadership skills, and even though we disagree sometimes, I've realized we have a lot more in common than I thought: we both like video games, and we both appreciate movies and shows that really make you think. Eric knows business and despite his shortcomings he always knows how to come up with a plan even when times are at their worst. Eric is a really admirable person."

"...sweet Jesus, what the fuck were in those brownies?" Garrison said, "All right... A+ to both of you... I think." Garrison said, looking both ways. Something was not right. He sighed and looked at the chart for a second, "Uhhh... Wendy and Bebe." he read off before picking up the photograph, "...I can't take it. It's been too long, I need to see you one last time..." Garrison said.

xXx

"Now Stanley, I know you're going through a tough time in your life right now..." began Principal Victoria, hands together at her desk. Stan Marsh had been sent down here for 'excessive' swearing in class - a boy who was once material for 'Student of the Month' was now in her office nearly every day. It was beyond her - he had always been a bright, hopeful pupil. But here he was looking at the floor with a bitter look on his face as if someone had taken something from him. "But you need to learn some self-control and stop disrupting classes."

"Well, Principal Victoria, do you want to know what I think?" Stan held his arms crossed. Victoria simply narrowed her eyes at him and nodded - she'd dealt with kids like this before. It was all to familiar to her. "I think you're a prissy, shitty, stuck-up bitch. I bet you grew up with a single parent who gave you everything you wanted and you never learned you can't always have your way. I don't think you care about the students and the only reason you became a Principal is because you wanted to be in a position of authority because you're a control freak with shitty hair."

"I grew up with both of my parents. Now, I'm going to let you go back to class, but if I see you again today I'm calling your mother, okey-dokey?" Victoria said with clear annoyance, getting sick of seeing him every day. She'd seen him every day this week and his mother. It was getting rather tiresome for her - she was seeing him almost as often as she saw his former friend Eric Cartman.

"How about you just call my mom now? 'cuz you'll be seeing me again real soon!" Stan got out of his seat angrily and walked toward the door to leave when Victoria rose from her seat,

"Stan Marsh, where are you going?"

"To the one place where I belong..." Stan sighed quietly, "Where I used to belong..."

xXx

"All right, class, well it seems we've sorted out all of our best buddies..." Mr. Garrison moved away from the chalkboards and motitoned to what was written:

Jimmy and Timmy

Kevin and Red

Eric and Kyle

Wendy and Bebe

Clyde and Craig

Token and Jason

Annie and Heidi

Millie and Lola

Kenny, Butters, Tweek, Stan, Esther; FOREVER ALONE

"Mr. Garrison, I told you, I have a best friend, Lizzy-" Esther said but Garrison approached her desk with a stern look, Esther's eyes widening, suddenly stricken with fear for her teacher. Garrison wasn't the kind of teacher you just mess with and take a detention in stride.

"Lizzy McCormick is not in this classroom and she is not your best friend, do you understand me? Now make friends with Kenny or Tweek you goddamn chink!" he slammed a fist on her desk before returning to his quickly and picking up a photograph and sighing, "You know what class? I'm going to be right back..." Garrison headed for the door, "Until then, Ky-" Garrison put a finger to his chin - no way, if Kyle and Eric are friends Eric will no doubt take advantage of the situation, "Bebe is in charge." he left.

"All right!" Bebe smiled, but then her eyes narrowed, her grin suddenly wicked as the frizzy-haired blonde took center of the room, "Today class we will be covering the history of shoes, and for biology we'll be studying the asses of Jewish children. Your homework will be an essay on the best boy band of the 2000's. Any questions?"

"Bebe, don't you think we should focus on actual school subjects?" Wendy said carefully, hoping not to offend her best friend. Bebe rolled her eyes,

"It's just music, history and biology, normal school subjects, psh." Bebe said, "Now, I didn't have time to order new textbooks, so I'm just going to use the chalkboard. Now can anyone tell me who invented the shoe? Anyone?"

"...dude, screw this, Let's just leave!" Craig said, getting up and walking toward the door when he was blocked by Bebe. He flipped her off carelessly and tried to move around but she blocked his path,

"You're not going anywhere, Craig." she said, moving forward, "Girls!" Esther and Millie stepped forward and took Craig's arms and returned him to the seat, "Good, good. You girls return to your seats now, this lesson is important Shoes have been around since the dawn of man but ancient Egyptians started making shoes with some style..."

xXx

Stan sat at the bus stop, the same one he'd used every day since the third grade began, sighing as he sat in the snow silently. It was quiet and peaceful - besides that the sign seemed to show a pile of shit now. He sighed - he wished he could cure this disease. Suddenly he felt colder than usual as a hand was on his shoulder, "Hello there children."

"...hey Chef." Stan said absentmindedly, eyes on the snow, not even realizing the presence behind him. After a moment he blinked and looked behind himself but all he saw was a transparent pile of shit wearing a turd shaped like a chef's hat. He sighed.

"How's it goin'?"

"Bad."

"Awh, why bad?"

"I have cynicism, Chef. It's this disease that makes everything seem like shit. Like you, right now - you're not a ghost, you're just a fat tub of shit. All my friends have abandoned me because I'm a buzzkill - the only person I can be around is Craig. Not even Kyle wants to hang out with me and... I guess... it just makes me feel... well, like shit." Stan pointed out. Chef sighed,

"Children, that's something we all go through. People get older. People grow apart. Things change... and it's tough to accept it. We find our best friends leaving, and our families breaking apart... but we always have memories with the people we care about. Sure, you and Kyle may not be friends anymore but... the two of you spent a lot of time together, and even if it's over, it shouldn't ruin the memories you have. Change is tough, but it's always going to be there. Things are just gonna... keep on changing. It's all a part of growing up."

"Yeah... you know what, Chef? You're right. I need to stop running away from my problems and just... accept the fact things are changing and try to deal with it instead of just whining about everything." Stan said, "Thanks Chef... even though you're probably just a figment of my psychosis trying to help me work out a solution..."

"Any time, children!" Chef took off his shitty hat and bowed before the giant piece of shit faded away.

xXx

"And now if you look closely, you'll notice that Kyle's right ass cheek is slightly perkier than his left." Bebe Stevens instructed as one of her male students stood at the head of the classroom with his pants down and his ass on display, with a beat red, humiliated face. That's when the bell rang and Kyle pulled his pants up at lightening speeds and dashed out, followed by his classmates. Bebe gritted her teeth and left lesson plans and Garrison's other items on his desk, took her backpack and left as well. What a progressive day!

"So guys, what are we doing this week?" Kyle asked, joining Cartman and Kenny at their lockeers. Cartman quickly got his backpack on and smiled at Kyle, "Eric?"

"Well Kahl, me and Kinney were gonna stop in the computer lab since Kinney needs to check his Penthouse Forums or whatever, and I'm in the middle of a very complex pyramid scheme. Wanna join us, Jewboy?" Cartman offered, not in his usual malicous way but with a sincere, friendly smile. For a boy who was just discussing pyramid schemes, Eric Cartman seemed quite kind right now. Kyle smiled as he opened his locker,

"Sure. Oh, uh, dudes, can I ask you something... personal?" he asked. Cartman and Kenny looking at him, Kyle clutching his books to his chest as he stood near his open locker, "It's just... without Stan around, our group feels... kind of... I dunno, empty. I don't know how to put this but... we need a new Stan."

"Yeah, you're right. I think I know just the kid." Cartman smirked, turning around and looking toward Butters. Kenny, Cartman and Kyle approached him, "Butters, we have a very important question to ask you." The little boy with the puff of blonde hair smiled and pushed his little fists together,

"What is it, Eric?"

"Butters, with Stan gone we've been looking to fill the void in our circle of friendship with someone new and well, we were hoping you could help us fill that void." Cartman explained. Butters smiled nervously, blue eyes lighting up,

"Eric, I'd be glad to h-h-help you guys out!"

"Good, good! Okay Butters now, tell us... where's Clyde?" Cartman asked, Butters' jaw dropping in shock, "Butters? You okay, man? We need Clyde to replace Stan."

"Awh, son of a b-biscuit..." Butters said, sighing, "Clyde's over by the cafeteria t-t-talking to Craig about that movie Paranormal Activity 3 Clyde said he really liked it."

"Thanks Butters!" Kyle said as the trio skipped merrily toward the cafeteria to go find their new life-long buddy. Butters sighed and put his hands in his pockets - rejected again. Lonely, despised by the world. Hated by everyone around him. Forced into a life of solitude. But nobody knew the truth - that beneath Butters' soft, plushy exterior, lay the greatest supervillain the world had ever known...

"Hey turd, I have to get to economicsh" came a voice as Butters politely moved to let Shelley Marsh move past. Now was not the time for chaos and evil... besides, he didn't want to get grounded for being beat up by a girl.

xXx

Skeeter's Bar was active a location as ever, Randy Marsh sitting with his half-brother Jimbo Kern, Jimbo's heterosexual life partner Ned and his friend Stuart McCormick. The bar was active - a good Broncos game was on TV, the bartender was mixing the drinks, and Randy was just drunk enough to be ridiculously happy but not drunk enough to forget his surroundings. Unfortunately, his son soon crashed the party, "Hey dad, can we go to the zoo? Please?" Stan suddenly asked. Randy turned to him, wiping his mouth,

"Oh hey Stan... the zoo? Uh sure, let me get my keys..." Randy said, trying to stand up and proceeding to fall forward, "Hey, that hurt!" he said, straightening himself up and glaring toward nobody in particular, "What the hell, man? Don't you... play stupid with me, do you know who I am? I'm Randy goddamn Marsh! I'll kick your ass!" Randy tried to kick forward but only succeeded in kneeing himself in the crotch, "Shit! He got me in the balls, Stan! Staaan!"

"Mmm he's pretty fucked-up." Ned said with his voicebox, looking toward his almost-but-not-quite nephew. Stan rolled his eyes.

"Eh, he's just a lightweight. He'll clear up quick, Stanley. How about me and Ned take you to the Zoo?" Jimbo offered, but Stan shuddered at the thought of the innocent zoo animals being slaughtered by Jimbo and Ned with their weapons collection, "Oh, I see, you think 'cuz we're hunters we'll just shoot them all, right? That is a stereotype! Me and Ned love animals, right, Ned?"

"Mmm of course." Ned's voicebox told them, "I even used to have a horse on my father's ranch as a kid."

Jimbo got on one knee to look his nephew in the eye, but all Stan saw was a giant, goopy piece of shit, "See Stanley, the thing you need to understand is that just because we like to hunt doesn't make us cold-blooded murderers. We like animals just as much as you do - huntin's just a sport, and, uh, you know, we gotta thin out their numbers. There was this one county, why they banned deer huntin' and everyone had to leave their houses cause the deer took over. Do you see what I'm trying to say?"

"No, Uncle Jimbo, because I know you're lying and that when we go to the zoo some poor animal is gonna 'come right for you' or you're gonna have to 'thin out their numbers' and I'm sick of this same bullshit from you." Stan said, spitting as he turned away. "Dick."

"That's fine, you're a pussy anyway, Stanley..." Jimbo called defensively - he clearly didn't mean it and just wanted his nephew to feel guilty. Stan was not affected, keeping a stern look on his face as he approached the door, reaching to leave when he heard someone rise up,

"Hey, don't go so fast, I can go drive you and your dad to the Zoo, I need something to keep me distracted anyway." came the voice of Stuart McCormick holding a Jack Daniels, "I've been trying to control my drinking and-"

"Whatever Kenny's Dad, nice of you to offer since you don't even have car but fine, drive us." Stan said with a hint of bitterness: Stuart was even worse than Randy in every way. He had an even worse relationship with his wife (although one could point out Stuart and Carol had not divorced) drank far more and couldn't even hold a job that sounded vaguely respectable.

"No, Stu, I can handle it..." Randy said, before falling forward, eyes widening and he released a painful throttle of vomit out his mouth and straight on to the floor. Laying in a pile of his own puke, he tried to rise again only to release another concentrated stream of vomit. His half-brother facepalmed,

"This is why we can't have nice things..."

xXx

"Hey Kinney, Terrance and Phillip got renewed through 2013, can you believe it? Seventeen seasons!" Cartman said in disbelief, "After how crappy the last season was, they're still moving forward!" he said with anger, banging his pudgy hands on the desk as he sat in the computer lab.

"The last season was cool if you ask me, but I respect your opinion, Eric." Kyle said quickly. Cartman turned his head to face Kyle and smiled,

"Thanks buddy!" he said before turning back to Kenny, "Listen to me, Kinney! I'm talking to you! Take off those headphones you poor piece of crap or I'll tell everyone what a whiny bitch you were about that stupid chick you used to date from Animaniacs." Cartman said angrily. Kenny took off his headphones and glared,

"Cartman, we've been fucking over this, Tammy was not on Animaniacs. The last name thing is just a coincidence." Kenny said, "What the fuck do you want?"

"Kinney, Terrance and Phillip were- woah, what the fuck are you doing?" Cartman said glancing over toward Kenny's computer, where a giant green spaceship was in the middle of an asteroid field, shooting through at hyperspeeds with powerful shield defending it from damage. There were a HUD and controls on the screen but Cartman was focused on the seriouslah epic spaceship action. "Dude, that's fuckin' sweet!"

"It's called Super Mega Space Death Wars, it's a free online MMPORG. Well, the first twenty-four hours or so really." Kenny said as he manned his position and began shooting at another ship. "It's totally fucking tits. You get to build your own crew and all sorts of shit. It's like The Sims meets Star Trek Online meets Star Wars: The Old Republic meets... uhhhh... fuck I don't know what else."

"I'm registering an account right away!" Cartman began trying to use the keyboard, although it wasn't easy on his fat fingers, "Tell me when you get a friend invitation from BigBoned!" Kenny laughed loudly, "What?"

"You guys have fun. I'm going to work on my report on Ulysses S. Grant for Social Studies." Kyle said, turning and typing at record-breaking speeds while Cartman and Kenny focused on their game. Kyle glanced back jealously but shook his head and returned to the task at hand.

"My wife wants a divorce. We have to fight for her." Kenny said quickly mashing buttons, "If I beat you, I get promoted to the next rank!"

"Pfft, like you ever had a wife, Kinney." Cartman mashed buttons, trying to defeat Kenny but it wasn't going so well, "Stop it, Kinney! Godammit Kinney you're maing me lose! Kinney!" Cartman pushed Kenny out of his chair angrily, then turned back to the game and button-mashed, "Oh look Kinney, I won!'

"What are you guys playing?" Craig approached, Token and Clyde alongside him. Cartman chuckled and continued mashing buttons, ignoring them. Kenny got a grip on his chair and got off the ground, stretching as he got back in his chair. Kenny looked by Craig,

"We're playing Super Mega Space Death Wars." Kenny explained, "Just Google Search it, you can find it... haha, Cartman, you're a smuggler now you fat piece of shit!" he laughed, "You create a character and a ship and there's a bunch of planets and you can dogfight in space or fight on land and there's laser guns and glowy swords and giant robots and living teddy bears and Jackovasaurs!"

"That actually sounds kind of cool... hey guys, wanna try it?" Craig asked his friends. Although Craig hated excitement in real life, he was far from afraid to play exciting video games. Token and Clyde nodded and the trio began to walk off.

"Hey, uh, Clyde, could you stay here for a second?" Cartman said. Clyde raised an eyebrow and approached, "Kahl, Kinney, this is important guys, turn around." The group all turned around to face Clyde, "Clyde, since our friend Stan turned into a colossal butthole we've been... we've been trying really hard to find someone to replace him. It's been a tough process but our first candidate didn't work out so we were hoping to see if you'd like to try."

"Me? Really? You guys wanna hang out with me?" Clyde said, flattered, as he burst out into tears, wiping his eyes with his gloves, "I'm sooo happy!" he cried out.

"Isn't that Craig's joke?" Kyle raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes before turning back to his project.

To Be Continued...

Leave a review, keep criticism constructive and thanks for reading!

As Stan's birthday is October 19th, I set this story in October 2011 - and Paranormal Activity 3 comes out on the 21st. So it works well.

References:

* Jimmy is of course referencing the Season 5 classic "Cripple Fight"

* In Seasosn 8's "Good Times With Weapons" it is implied Red is Skeeter's daughter, and for the past three seasons the town bar has been renamed Skeeter's Bar. (Where is Skeeter anyway?)

** Consequently, Skeeter is often likened to Craig's father Thomas, and is seen as Craig's uncle, and I kept that bit of fanon into my storylines.

* Kevin and Red, as I mention every time I use the two, sit together at lunch from the first through fourth seasons, though by the sixth they sit apart.

* Kevin and Tuong Lu Kim are both Chinese, so I made them relatives. This is pure fanon on my part. And Wing is Lu Kim's wife in "Wing" from Season 9 so therefore she is Kevin's aunt.

* Cartman's hand is of course a reference to Mitch Connor from "Fat Butt and Pancake Head", "200", "201" and arguably "T. M. I." in Seasons 7, 14, 14, and 15.

* In the Season 5 episode "Kenny Dies", Cartman tells Kenny while alone he's always felt their were best friends and in Season 9's "Best Friends Forever" Kenny admits in his will they are best friends except he only feels sorry for him.

* In "Poor and Stupid" from Season 14, Kenny and Cartman are both NASCAR fans.

* We find out in the Season 13 finale "Pee" that Kyle hates urine, and he also hates bananas.

* Kyle has to enjoy kites - after all, as we see in the Season 14 episodes "Coon 2: Hindsight", "Mysterion Rises" and "Coon vs. Coon and Freinds" he is the Human Kite.

* Bebe has an obession with shoes as of "The List" circa Season 11, and has loved Kyle's ass since "Clubhouses" way back in Season 2.

* Since "The Mexican Staring Frog of Sri Lanka" in Season 2, Jimbo and Ned's new call is supposed to be "We gotta thin out their numbers!"

* The car in front of the McCormick house looks broken to me - no tires.

* Tammy's last name is Warner in the Season 13 episode "The Ring", which is the same last name of Yakko, Wakko and Dot the main characters of Animaniacs.