Author's note: Hello everyone. Tis Elle writing. So this is my (and our) first post on this site, and I can only hope it's okay. This'll be pretty much just a one-shot, unless it's requested I continue. Why did I write this, well this is actually I dream I had...twice...in the form of a Japanese manga book. I wanted to draw it, but I lack the skills, so instead I'm giving you the insight into my dreams in the form of a story. If you want a song that suits this, I recommend listening to Heartless by Kanye West. Apart from that, enjoy, and I don't mind if you give me constructive criticism.
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, they are the property of Hasbro. Sandra and Mike belong to my dream.
Love Is Dead
Sandra watched her greatest friend walk away down the street path, lit by the setting sun, for the last time. It was probably her fault that he was so desperate to leave, considering all the things she'd made him go through. The trouble, the hurt, the frustration. She had to admit though, Mark had done a good job in terms of pretending it didn't matter. That wasn't what was on her mind at this time though. She just had to find out - had to know - the truth before he left her forever. Mustering up all the courage and strength she could, the raven haired girl called out to the one she'd surely be missing in a few days time.
"Do you hate me?" He stopped. Nothing stirred save for the uncontrollable wind that Autumn day and all it touched. At this point, Sandra was close to tears at the thought that the blonde boy would just continue to walk, and so was surprised when he began laughing.
"Is that what this is about." As he turned to face her, Sandra noticed he was flushed from laughing and grinning from ear to ear. "Sandy, this'll probably sound corny, but what I'm about to say is the truth. I like your face, I like your eyes. I like your grace and the way you blush when you lie." As he recited those unfamiliar and yet comforting words, he returned to her position and took her hand. It caught her breathe, and she found herself unable to look away from his beautiful gaze. "I could never hate you, and it's because-"
"Oh come on Starscream! It was just getting to the good part!"
The red seeker turned to give his violet Trine mate an incredulous stare. "Seriously, Skywarp? The only 'good part' to this holovid is the end credits! The plot of this story is so predictable, I found myself purging my tanks six scenes ago. And what's more, how's a human love story going to raise the morals of everyone on this base? Megatron must have a glitch in his processor to pull a stunt such as this one!"
Apparently, as stated by Megatron several cycles ago, the overall co-operation and moral of the troops was below standards. Instead of sending them to the simulation grounds to practice said skills, however, they had been forced to watch a pathetic human holovid. Starscream was almost convinced he'd murder the perpetrator for the movie selection, especially considering this was the second time he'd had to watch it. The first was when Megatron was checking to see if it was tolerable, and now was the second in his Trine's room. And honestly, anything this atrocious shouldn't have been played on the monitors, let alone enter the base.
"Geez Starscream. As the humans say, don't go shitape on us."
"It's apeshit not shitape. And I'm being neither of the two!" shrieked Starscream, as Thundercracker attempted to halt the seeker's rant before great damage was done by guiding him back to his seat prior to switching off the holovid. His attempt, however, proved to only anger his Trine leader further. "Stop! I don't want to sit, dammit! Let go!"
"What's all the fuss?" questioned the all to familiar voice of Frenzy, who had just appeared alongside the rest of Soundwave's co-horde at the seekers' door.
"Great just what we needed. Soundwave and his midget army," spat Starscream, not amused that the room had just become more crowded than it needed to be.
Embarrassed that Starscream had continued on with his condescending attitude, Thundercracker assumed the position of the stable spokesperson. "Ignore him. Why are you here?"
"Megatron requests conformation that his troops are indeed viewing the selected holovid. All those who are found avoiding it will bring up they're issues and/or reasons with Megatron himself," stated Soundwave in his frustratingly – to Starscream – monotone voice.
At this, the purple seeker shot up, anger and fear just noticeable in his vocaliser. "We were watching it! Starscream was the one who turned it off! At the good part too!"
"Good part? I thought we already had the discussion about where the good part is in this vid! And why are you pinning this on me?"
"Because there wouldn't be a problem, if you hadn't turned off the holovid!"
"Well excuse me if I could feel the circuitry in my processor slowly burning out and short circuiting!"
"It wasn't that bad!"
"Don't mess with me! It was fragging horrible!"
"Starscream, for refusing to perform as Megatron has asked, I must request that you see him personally to discuss this matter further," cut in the tape deck, fed up of the whining and shrieking emitted from the arguing seekers.
"Don't mind if I do!" was the final statement the red flyer made before huffing in frustration and walking out the room.
However, he didn't go far before he collapsed against a wall. Rubbing his helm with his servo, he attempted to calm down enough to be able to pass correct judgement again so as to avoid an all-out brawl that was sure to come with Megatron. He already knew why he was behaving in this manner. It wasn't the fault of his Trine, Soundwave or the holovid.
"What do you think is his malfunction?" echoed the voice of Frenzy from the seeker's room, followed by the voice of his brother Rumble stating that Starscream was a walking malfunction.
Starscream could feel his faceplate drop to show the sadness reverberating in his spark. His spirits didn't even lift when Thundercracker stood up for him and told everyone else to focus back on the monitor as Skywarp searched for the controls. Celebratory yells could be heard for the seeker having found the control, and the holovid returned to life where it'd left off. He listened, sad and stoic, to the next words he knew were coming.
I love you.
Those three words. Those three painstakingly, horrifically touching words. He knew all too well what those words could mean, and what tragedy they could inflict with it. As much as he'd tried to forget, there was just too much in his life that would make him remember, whether he wanted to or not. It just never affected him this badly, up til now. A drop of coolant rolled its way down his faceplate from his optic as he recalled the exact events of that solar cycle.
"Get the seeker away from him!"
"I'm gonna beat you until you're offline!"
"No ones beating anyone tonight!"
The sounds of commotion filled the club known as 'The Grid'. Everything had been relatively calm for cycles beforehand. Cybertronians sat amongst each other, energizing and talking. The Grid was one of the greatest places in Crystal City to relax to the beats laid down by their head DJ, Blaster. Things could have stayed this way, had the sky-commander known as Starscream not entered, practically fuming. His angered optics were focused at the front table, at which sat two mechs. Unbeknownst to everyone in this club, those two would be the future leader and TIC of the Decepticon rebellion, and it was said 'leader' that he intended to make his presence known to. In his silent anger, the seeker stormed his way over to Megatron, and whilst he stared down at the gladiator, all he got was a set of cold, bored optics in return.
Anger flaring, heated comments started passing quicker than the fastest Cybertronian on planet, and before anyone was even prepared for the events to come, the two began fist fighting each other. This was, however, an exaggeration on Megatron's part, as he merely was blocking any uncoordinated attack that the blinded flier was throwing in his direction. No one truly understood Starscream's reason for doing so, except for the miner himself.
Megacycles earlier, the two of them had formed an attraction for one another. They promised many things for each other, but these were just empty promises pushed through by the hope that they would occur. Many cycles had been spent flirting, admiring, interfacing, and perhaps loving. Loving the company, the warmth, the endless nights that could be spent simply in silence. It unfortunately was not to last, as Megatron was the first to notice that their promises were not being fulfilled. He broke it off between them. Saying Starscream was upset was putting it mildly. He was devastated, spark practically shattering and bleeding right in front of Megatron. It was a severe blow to the seekers ego, and he wanted to make sure Megatron knew that as well.
Life became exceedingly frustrating for the both of them after that decision had been made. As the solar cycles past, Starscream had become gradually more hostile towards Megatron, to a point where contact between them, even if it was just a glance in the street, ended with the red seeker showing his hatred to the gladiator with a severe amount of malice in his voice. It always made Starscream happy to watch that flash of regret and annoyance flicker in Megatron's optics, even if it was just barely visible. Though perhaps this eve he'd pushed him a bit too far, but he felt in his core that Megatron deserved it. Megatron was going to replace him, with Soundwave. He was so sure of this when he'd peered into the building, and knew it even more know that Megatron was tossing him aside like some sparkling's toy.
The occupants in the bar were struggling to keep Starscream from causing more injury to himself. He'd already had his left servo crushed, both his null rays ripped off and his wings crippled. Another hit and he could wind up dead. Of course, that wasn't what was on his processor at this time. It was the look on his ex-lovers face, or lack there of in this instance. There was no emotion portrayed in his faceplate. No anger. No sadness. Not even sympathy. Just...nothing. It taunted the seeker, no begged for him to change it to anything but the lifeless form it presented. Getting to it was the hard part, but of course he was prepared for such an event.
"Alright, I'll stop. You can release me. I'll leave." The fools were actually gullible enough to believe his charade, releasing the still seeker from their grasps, and Starscream took this as an opportunity to strike against Megatron with his good servo.
All time seemed to slow to a crawl as the seeker ran at Megatron, fist clenched and ready for contact. Looks of shock, worry and frustration could be seen spreading around the room. It didn't matter to Starscream. The faceplate he was watching remained just as stoic as it had been moments before. Not even flinching to the threat of injury. Only then did he see the gaze of a wounded spark in those optics, and it triggered a series of questions within his processor.
Why am I doing this?
Because you want him to suffer like you have.
Why?
You hate him.
Do I?
Memories flashed before him like an oncoming train. The good ones, where he smiled. Laughed. Felt good. Whole. With 'him'.
No. I could never hate him.
Why not?
Because...I love him.
As the realisation dawned on him, Starscream found that his desire to fight had diminished, and all his momentum from trying to run at Megatron before had skidded to a halt. He stopped just in front of the mech he'd called lover, and they stood there, in perfect silence. Neither one stirring at the shocked stares or whispers of the others present.
Primus, I'm such a fool.
It was then that the sky commander caught up with the reality that he was standing amongst many bots, and doing what Megatron had done before. Nothing. He couldn't tolerate the humiliation of previously not understanding the truth, and the embarrassment of the public watching for his next move. Continuing in silence, he bolted from the club, faceplate heating up from the embarrassment, coolant streaming down in their free flowing patterns, and leaving a dreadfully empty wake back where he had stood.
Those words. Those exact words always reminded him of that moment of realisation. The single drop of coolant from before had now turned to streams from his optics as he cried from the pain of it all. He'd even had to cover his derma plates with his servo to stifle the moans his vocal capacitor was emitting. This was the reason he had hated every moment of the holovid. It was a simplified version of his suffering, but with a happy ending.
Brushing back his sorrowful tears and making sure his appearance didn't display the events that had occurred, Starscream straightened up and made his way to the leader whom he couldn't reach out to any more as an equal. Whatever fate lay for him there, it wouldn't even come close to what he was wishing for. Never again.