Title: Unexpected Bonding
Author: defying3reason
Summary: I barely did anything wrong, and yet somehow I ended up in a sketch alley with Robin the boy wonder in my arms, hopped up on some weird, experimental date-rape cocktail, crying all over my sweatshirt and asking me if I thought he was pretty.
Rating: M (Bad Language!!!)
Every now and then I get myself into some weird-ass situations where I just have to pause, step back and admire the ridiculousness of my life. About half the time I can blame Ollie, but I do manage to screw things up on my own a goodly amount of the time. The other night in Gotham, that wasn't me though.
Well…if I'd stayed with my group instead of sneaking out…and if I hadn't gone to that club, but hey, I mean underage kids were all over that place and as a member of the hero community I am expected to check into those situations and make sure that those kids are safe. And I mean, once you're in you kinda gotta drink and socialize, or you won't find anything out. I mean you'd just look like a narc.
So really, I barely did anything wrong, and yet somehow I ended up in a sketch alley with Robin the boy wonder in my arms, hopped up on some weird, experimental date-rape cocktail, crying all over my sweatshirt and asking me if I thought he was pretty. Fuck-ing surreal.
I've been in the Titans for two months. I just learned Dick's real name a week ago. Suffice it to say, this is not how I think of him.
That's pretty far into the story though. The night started out when it was supposed to be ending for us Star City seniors. We were visiting Gotham for an away field trip and they didn't have enough chaperones to keep an escape artist vigilante in the hotel, so I snuck out to see the side of Gotham I hadn't glimpsed from the tour guide approved museum route. First few places I'd tried hadn't bought my fake ID, but the last place, man they barely looked at it.
And yes, even though I regularly need to snoop around sketchy places while working with Green Arrow, I don't have my own ID. He has a convincing looking one for me that he keeps on his person when I'm not working. The lack of trust, it just hurts.
Once inside the place, I figured it was about three fourths minors and one fourth thirty and up pervs ogling said jail bait booty. It got my adrenaline up. Either I'd have fun mixing with the disaffected youth of a new city, or maybe I'd get to bust one of those really weird kinds of cases that you only see in Gotham. Either way I was pumped.
I started chatting with this cute little girl, had to be younger than me even, but she thought she was a convincing college kid. She kept dropping words into the conversation that she blatantly didn't know the meaning of. It was adorable. I'd probably have bought it before I started hanging with the other Titans. Sometimes when you leave them alone long enough, some of them sound like they've swallowed dictionaries. Wally's usually pretty chill, but when he starts talking science, like the laws of physics and how they work with his super speed…yeah, I'm out.
"So you're not from around here, huh? I mean, I'm, like very urbane, so you know I get around to all the really superlative places. And I haven't seen you. I'd, like totally remember seeing you." She trilled. I hoped my smile looked charming instead of amused. It was really hard not to laugh
.
"Yeah, no, I'm from Star. I don't spend much time in Gotham. My loss, Star City doesn't have urbane girls like you to chat with."
I thought she was going to suffocate giggling.
"Thanks. Hey, I'll let you buy me a drink if you want."
"Might as well. What's that viscous looking stuff everyone's knocking back?" I asked, motioning towards some kids doing what I'd initially thought were jell-o shots in funky containers, but they were actually thick liquids that seemed to be glowing, although that could have just been an effect of the black lights.
"Oh, that's Harmony! It, like, helps you loosen up and form…form connections." She'd been thrown by the word viscous so it took her a second to answer. Adorable.
"It looks like jell-o. Is there vodka in it?" I asked. She blinked at me.
"Huh? Oh, I don't know what's in it. Never asked before. They're good. They taste like…like…bliss." She smiled dreamily at me.
"Ah huh." I was getting a little sketched out. Snagging a couple of the funky looking shots for analysis seemed like a good idea though. Not that I knew what the hell to do with them, but I figured I could slip to the men's room, doggy bag it up and bring it to the next Titans meeting for Robin or Kid Flash.
I bought us our Harmony, pretended to sip mine and dislike it, much to the girl's befuddlement, and then excused myself for the bathroom. She looked really upset until I asked where the restrooms were, and when she was convinced I was coming back I was able to slip away.
I got into a stall, took a plastic baggy out of my coat pocket and dropped the shot glass and all into it. The bathrooms were lit with normal light and to my disgust the shit really did glow.
Sometimes I worry for my generation. I do stupid shit all the time, and yes I dabble with things I shouldn't (I don't care what Donna says, pot is not necessarily a gateway drug) but there is no way in hell I'd unquestioningly knock back a drink of a suspicious viscosity that glowed in the dark. Gotta love Gotham.
Anyway, while I was stuffing the thing in my pocket and trying to keep the ensuing lump from looking suspicious, I heard some rather unpleasant noises coming from the handicapped stall next to me. I heard a lot of groaning and some slurred teenage boy protests.
I braced myself for an unpleasant sight, and then I opened the handicapped stall real quick and slammed the perv with the door. He fell backwards, came at me angrily while trying to pull his pants up and I hit him with it again. That time he stayed down.
The kid's clothes were rumpled but it didn't look like the sicko forty-something had gotten very far. Probably just copped a good feel and was preparing to do something worse before I heard them.
Kid was leaning against the stall wall for support, eyes glassy and cheeks flushed. Had to be on something and my first guess was Harmony. He looked like an easy hit for jailbait booty too, if you're into small effeminate guys. He had guy-liner and artistically messy black hair and those super tight jeans the artsy weirdos wear and a threadbare band shirt. Nice body, actually, the clingy clothes were showing off a lot. The perv had probably had to beat back a bunch of other guys to take his turn. What an idiot.
"Hey Sunshine, you okay?" I asked, even though it was utterly ridiculous to call someone who wore their teen angst on their sleeve like that Sunshine. He turned his glassy eyes to me and I finally got a good look at his face through all that make up and angled hair. "Holy shit. Robin?"
"Nn…m'not, not now." He mumbled.
"Dude, what the hell are you doing? Are you high?! I mean, obviously you are now, but were you when you came here looking like that?!" I demanded, suddenly irrationally angry. "Where's your backup? Is Batman here?" I hissed.
He shook his head, and then winced and closed his eyes. "Don'…don' talk about Bamman righ' now. M'not…can't do that."
"Okay, okay so you came here and got yourself all loopy on God knows what and got felt up by some horny old asshole…I'm sorry, I still don't see how there's a plan there but let's…let's get you somewhere and sober you up, okay? Come on." I got one of his arms over my shoulder and started walking us real slow from the club. I figured it wasn't worth it to call the cops in on the guy in the stall. I'd have to be a witness, and so would Dick, and that would just be complicated for our civilian identities. Besides, I was holding out the hope that I could get the entire place busted.
And more immediately, Dick obviously shouldn't have been left alone.
The girl I'd been talking to earlier was waiting outside the bathroom door. "Sorry Princess, I'm gonna hafta take a rain check. Found my buddy in there and he's not looking so good." I ground out, wishing she'd take a fucking hint.
"Oh…he'll be fine, he can walk it off alone. I wanted to get to know you better…" She practically purred.
"Oh man do you fucking owe me." I mumbled. "No, the kid's a lightweight anyway. I think he needs me. I'll look for you the next time I'm in Gotham though, promise."
"Yeah, yeah. Hey you, you look cute!"
God damn, she moved on quick. Before I got to the door she was grinding with some asshole wearing more make up than Dick, and not as well.
I got us into the alley and then helped Dick into a sitting position since that's the direction he seemed to want to go anyway. He looks small and whatnot, but there's a lotta muscle on that lean little frame and muscle is fucking heavy. I sat down next to him for a breather.
"Shouldn' smoke s'much Roy." He slurred at me.
"Yeah, you're one to talk. What'd you take anyway?" I asked.
"Dunno…grabbed th'first shot someone handed me…" He mumbled.
"Well that's fucking stupid." I pointed out.
"Yeah…fig'red I'd try it. Wasn' fun…everything's all dizzy an' loopy."
"You know if you wanted to cut loose or whatever, there are better ways to attempt it. I mean, not that a goody good like you would know these things, I guess, but sketchy clubs in sketchy cities with experimental illicit substances roaming around, bad place to start. Just saying, if you were curious you coulda started with a couple beers at my place. So do you have a way to, like, buzz Bats for a ride home or something? Because no offense, but I'm not really supposed to be here so I'd like it if Batman didn't spot me-" at that he started breathing heavy, and his face was all screwed up like he was going to cry or something. "Hey, not that I'm gonna leave you alone or anything, because I'm totally not. I just-Dick? Are you okay?"
And then he grabbed my sweatshirt and basically dove into my arms and started sobbing incomprehensibly, although occasionally I caught snatches of it and I am damn sure he asked me if I thought he was pretty.
As stated earlier, I stopped, mentally stepped back a moment, and wondered if I was going insane or if this was really happening. And I'm pretty sure the weirdness of the evening wasn't my fault.
"Um, you know I don't really, I mean I'm not even sure what guy-pretty is. I've never really thought about it before. Why do you want to be pretty anyway?" I asked, very uncomfortable with where this was going.
"But if, if you were like that, would you think I was? You would, right? I'm not…but if I am then, then he just doesn't…then it's something else…" And then he started crying harder and I couldn't understand what he was saying anymore.
I knew this though, that someone passing by was going to hear him. And if that someone was ill intentioned, I was not going to be able to fight them off with him clinging to me like that.
"Hey, hey buddy, calm down. Listen, let's just, let's just get a cab and get you someplace where we can clean you up and maybe get a couple cups of coffee in you and then you'll feel loads better, I promise. Come on, up we go." The challenge of walking got him to quiet down. I got us out onto the street and into a cab safely, miraculous considering where in Gotham we were, but then I was faced with the challenge of figuring out where to go.
"Um, Dick? I don't know your address."
"M'not going back to th' manor!" He yelled, spit flying from his mouth with the vehemence of his slurring.
"Okay, okay! Sir, can you just take us to a hotel? A nice one though, I'm done with sketch tonight."
The cabbie got us to a nice enough place, so nice they didn't want to let me have a room until I handed them my credit card and my real ID. Once they realized they were catering to Oliver Queen's ward they were a lot more helpful. I tipped heavily, hoping to keep my scandalous looking night out of the tabloids. That would be real fun to explain to Ollie and Dinah. God, not to mention Batman.
When I got to our room I rethought the heavy tipping strategy. In my haste to get us out of public I hadn't been very specific, and they gave us a room with one very large, very nice, very comfy bed. Awkward. If tomorrow's headline was 'Gay Millionaire Heirs Check in to Gotham Love Nest' I was not going to be a happy camper, and my peerless leader was going to be the first one to taste my wrath.
"Oof!" I dropped Robin onto the bed and then looked around the rest of the room to see if there was a sofa or something I could sleep on. No luck.
I wasn't in a terribly good mood anymore, so I just left Dick there at the end of the bed, uncomfortable looking clothes, smeared make up, boots and all. I shrugged out of my sweatshirt and my shoes, dropped onto the crisp, cool sheets and fell asleep almost right away.
I woke up far too soon thereafter when Dick fell off of the bed and landed hard on the floor, from the sounds of it anyway. I threw a pillow in his general direction and rolled back over for more sleep.
"Roy?" His voice cracked. "Where are, what, whe-huh?" I would have found the panic amusing if I wasn't already pissy.
I sat up and rubbed at my eyes. "I take it you slept most of it off? The shit went through your system pretty quick."
"What shit? What happened? I'm not in Star City, am I? Oh hell, that is the last time I am doing…"
"Doing what? You never told me what it was you were doing out there tonight. And for the record we're in Gotham. I'm supposed to be on a field trip. I found you in a club being fondled by some fucking pedophile at least twice our age. So I knocked the asshole out and took you here." I explained.
He sat down on the end of the bed and dropped his head into his hands. I started feeling a little bad for him at that point. He wasn't half as annoying in his right mind.
"Dick? You okay?"
"I…I don't know."
"Well I've got some questions for you and you kinda owe me. That place we were at, that was one of the sketchiest dives I've seen and it was crawling with minors and illegal activity and you're, well you're the golden child who gets to hang with the Justice League and be our model even though you don't have powers. You were there for work, right?" I was almost afraid of the answer.
"I've been casing the place for about a week now." He answered weakly. He motioned to indicate his outfit. "I don't normally dress like this you know."
"Yeah, I figured. You make a convincing prosti-tot though."
He snorted. "Bruce is a master of disguises."
"He put that together? Man, I don't think I'd be comfortable with it if Ollie was that good at dressing me like that."
Dick laughed but it didn't sound right. "Up till tonight he was doing my eyeliner for me."
"So what happened tonig-er, last night?" I asked, noticing the faint rays of approaching dawn.
Dick looked at the floor. "I…I don't really want to talk about it."
"Hey, are you okay?" I touched his shoulder and he flinched away from me. "Look, I know we don't know each other very well yet, but-"
"But what? You don't respect me, you don't even like me as far as I can tell. I'm not going to spill my private life to you, no matter how much I owe you for tonight." He paused and took a calming breath. "I do owe you though. It sounds like I got myself into a lot of trouble."
"Yeah you did. Look, for what it's worth I do respect you. It's just, well you know how it is being the only person in the room with no super powers."
He grinned, again without real amusement. "I figured as much. Trying to puff yourself up in front of the others? Ripping on me and Aqualad's a piss poor way to do that you know. It's bad for the team dynamic."
"Can't help it. Garth makes himself an easy target and you, well you take it." It sounded bad, even to me and my denial. "I'll try to work on it. But you know, I'd feel more inclined to try if you were to perchance open up about why you put yourself in potentially mortal peril a few hours ago."
I really thought he wasn't going to tell me. But I guess he was just ready to spill, and the poor guy, I don't think he has anyone he can spill to. In theory he's got us Titans, but the reality is that he's our leader, and we've all got this mental image of Robin that sort of keeps the team going. He's got it all together, he's smarter than all of us combined and if we just listen to him he can get us out of anything. I started seeing what that kind of pressure does to someone sitting there listening to him in that hotel.
"I, I just have a lot going on lately. I haven't been sleeping. I'm down to three hours a night and that's bad, even for me and Bruce. They're laying it on at school and one of the teachers thinks that Bruce is abusing me, because I'm always showing up with weird injuries so she's trying to get social services involved, but thank God they're dragging their feet since it's Bruce Wayne and I'll be a legal adult in a year anyway. And between my cases with Bruce and our work with the Titans, it's just-"
"It's too much."
I thought of all the class I skipped and the time I spent smoking in my room to relax and felt a stab of guilt. I never gave a second thought to the team when we weren't actively meeting or anything, and here Robin was stressing out over all of us.
Apparently he'd been worrying about Donna, about her transitioning from Amazon culture to American, and I guess I'd just never thought about it before but he was right, that was kind of a culture shock. And Garth was dealing with his own culture shock plus a pretty crippling self esteem problem, so from there on in I decided to stop picking on him…or at least I'd do my best. And I guess Wally was getting competitive and moody and Robin was just worried about all of us. It made me feel a little self-centered to hear all that.
"Well I get how that's kind of a lot on your plate and all, but Dick, why the hell did you go out alone? Especially if you knew the place was sketchy?" I asked.
"I was…I was working. At least I was when I started."
"So why wasn't Batman backing you up? I asked before and you said he wasn't." I explained when he looked surprised. It would have been obvious he was alone anyway. A partner would have kept a better eye on him.
"I, we…we had a fight. I just took off on him. It was probably a bad idea to even try working on this case while I was upset. That's why I snapped and actually took the Harmony."
"You drank that stuff? Oh man Dick, it was glowing!"
"I thought that was the black light."
"No, I took it into the bathroom and bagged it and it was still glowing! Oh, damn that was, that was just beyond dumb!"
"I know, okay? I'm not proud of how tonight turned out. I told you I snapped." He said defensively.
"Sorry." I calmed myself down with a conscious effort. The whole thing had scared me. I didn't like one of my friends being that vulnerable. "So what did you and Bats fight about?"
He didn't answer. He just looked at me with really sad, scared looking blue eyes. Couldn't stop staring at his eyes. Maybe it was all the damn eyeliner. Anyway, suddenly I had a feeling about what the fight was about, and his rambling from the alley started to click into place. "You…didn't fight about what I think you fought about, did you?"
He went bright red and buried his face in his hands. "Yeah, I have a thing for my mentor. I know, I'm sick and twisted and it was idiotic of me to even think about talking to him about it."
"You're damn right it was. Haven't you been living with the guy since you were, like, eight? Ew!"
"You're not helping."
"Sorry. So what'd he say?" At this point I was definitely more curious than concerned. I know, I'm an asshole, I'm ashamed, really.
Dick took a deep breath. He looked like he was almost reciting from memory. "He said infatuations of that kind were natural byproducts of adolescence and that I should ignore it and focus on my work."
"Seriously? That's cold."
"That's what I said. He told me it wasn't his job to be warm and fuzzy. So I said my boundaries might have been formed a little better if he had been more warm and fuzzy, because then maybe my confused adolescent mind would have recognized him as an appropriate familial figure instead of a target for lust. He told me I was being lippy and I called him an icy bastard."
I shook my head, amazed, because I could actually see that going down in my head. Proclamation of love by the Bats. Of course it wouldn't be complete without psychoanalysis.
Dick collapsed backwards onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, eyes troubled. I gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. He squeezed back but he didn't turn to look at me.
"I know it's stupid, and I expected everything he said…but it still hurts."
"Yeah. It sounds really sucky."
"Roy…you're not going to tell anyone about this, right?" He asked, a touch of anxiety creeping into his voice.
"Nope. I don't think anyone'd believe me anyway."
"Good. I mean thanks. It…it helped a lot to talk about that."
"Hey man, no pro-"
"But that doesn't mean I ever want to talk about it again." His tone was downright frightening, so of course I agreed.
Doesn't mean I didn't stop thinking about it though. Every time Ollie mentioned Batman at a Justice League meeting, or even sometimes just watching Robin sit by himself while the rest of us socialized at our meetings, I found myself thinking about our conversation in that hotel room. I learned a lot about Robin that night, really about Dick. I figured I should have been disgusted, I mean he wanted someone who should have been like a second dad to him, but mostly I just felt sorry for him.
He looked really lonely and that just made me want to be there for him.
END