The minute Marshall and Lily are out of earshot, Barney rounds on Robin. "Dude, what the hell are you doing?" He hisses.
She shrugs, frowning. "What?"
"You're doing it all wrong!" He says, his gaze whipping back towards the champagne room. "You're totally ruining the 'bit'!"
Robin does a double take, takes a breath, and repeats the word angrily "What?"
"You're supposed to be pretending to be my g-friend!" Barney explains, exasperated. "And you're messing it up! Any chick that was awesome enough for me to date would totally love strip clubs. You're out-of-character, babe."
Robin stares at him for a beat and says, her voice dangerously low, "I'm out-of-character!"
Barney nods, grinning a little manically and taking a half step back. "It's not even like you hate strip clubs! And yet you said they were disgusting. You, Robin Scherbatsky, used the word 'disgusting'! In reference to a strip club!"
Robin doesn't reply right away. She lets him squirm for a few moments, waits for his babble to trail off, and then she speaks. "If a guy was ever going to be awesome enough for me to date, that guy would understand…" She gets close to him, sliding a hand down his tie to his belt. Barney gulps, his Adam's apple bobbing. "he would understand that I don't share my guy with anyone. He's mine…" Her fingers trailer lower, over the seam of his pants until she suddenly makes a grab at his crotch and he lets out a small squeak. "All mine," she continues. "And if a stripper whore so much brushed her silicone-enhanced breasts up against the lapels of his suit, I'd come at him so fast with a Colt C7 that he'll wish he'd cut off his own balls first and served them to me on a silver platter. You got that?"
He nods, silently, his eyes very wide.
She releases him and smiles. "Then it's lucky that we're only pretending to be a couple, right?"
He laughs nervously, says "Right…", and he doesn't even protest when she takes him by the hand and leads him out of the club and back out on to the busy streets of Manhattan. In fact, it takes him a good hour before he's back to his wisecracking self.
On balance, Robin thinks it's probably been a good night.