"You're an idiot."

"Hello, dear older brother who almost died earlier. I'm glad to see you're still alive."

"Yes dear big brother, you're alive for now. But when I get my hands on you…"

"You know threats really don't suit you John."

"It's been a while since I had to issue a threat, granted, but I think I'm due for a refresher lesson in defence. You'll be the perfect dummy."

"Charming. Is that any way to talk to your older brother?"

"You may be older but after witnessing that, you're definitely not wiser. What the hell Scott?"

"It worked, didn't it?"

"Yes. Barely."

"Barely still counts as successful."

"Maybe to you, but not to anyone else. I really don't want to be you when Dad gets back from New York."

"Dad isn't going to find out about this."

"Ha. Wanna bet? You have four younger siblings who all witnessed what happened today. Are you really stupid enough to think Dad doesn't already know about what happened?"

"Did you tell him?"

"Oh I didn't have to. Alan did."

"I'm going to kill him."

"No you're not. He told Dad what happened because I patched Dad through to him on the way home. I was worried the kid wouldn't make it back to the island he was shaking so much. Turns out, saving your eldest brother from splattering his brains out on the White Cliffs of Dover will do that to you."

"Wait – it was Alan who got me? I thought it was Virge."

"Virgil couldn't get close enough. The winds were strong anyway, combined with Two's thrusters, you really would have splattered your brains on the cliff. Alan had to fire another grappling hook in to the cliff and winch his way across to you, before your tether broke."

"Damn. Is he – is he okay?"

"Dad and I talked him down, and Gordon's keeping him occupied in the pool but I bet there'll be nightmares tonight."

"I really screwed up, didn't I John?"

"You saved ten people Scott, but you did it by putting your life at risk. I told you that the cliff wasn't strong enough to support you and the victims. But you did it anyway, and then put Alan's life on the line when he had to come and rescue you."

"I'll talk to him…So, on a scale of one to ten, how mad is Dad?"

"I'd say at least an eleven, if not a twelve."

"Damn."

"Yeah. The only reason Dad isn't home already is because the board refused to let him leave, saying they needed to speak to him about an R&D project that's going way over budget. Which, I believe is actually your department. So, regardless of what his idiotic eldest son has done while he's away, he's been stuck there sorting that mess out, leaving me to sort this mess out."

"I get it, okay, I'm an idiot. You don't have to keep reminding me."

"Get used to it big brother – this ain't going anywhere anytime soon. This is only round one. Everyone else is going to want a go as well you know."

"I know, I know. How mad is everyone else?"

"Not quite as mad as Dad, not quite as calm as me."

"You're calm?"

"I am now I've got to tell you-"

"That I'm an idiot – yes, I know. If it helps, I promise not to do it again."

"It would help enormously, if I didn't know that it makes absolutely no difference. We'll be having this conversation again in a month."

"I'm not going to bash my head against a cliff again, John!"

"That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it. No, I'm satisfied you won't be fighting with a cliff anytime soon. I'm talking about not listening to me when I tell you not to do something stupid."

"Apart from yesterday, when have I ever not listened to you?"

"I have a list Scooter. A very long, very detailed list. I add to it after pretty much every rescue."

"You do not."

"Oh I do. Needless to say, I don't believe for a minute that you will do what I tell you and not question what I say."

"Well, when I'm let out of here, I will prove you wrong Johnny-boy."

"I look forward to it Scott. I'm not going to hold my breath on it happening, but I'm more than happy to be proved wrong this time."

"When you get down here…"

"If you remember, when I get down there, I'm using you as a sparring partner. I don't think you'll be in a position to do anything to me after that."

"Just you wait…"

"Ha. Well, while I would love to continue this scintillating conversation, Dad's calling – presumably to talk to you. Shall I put him through?"

"John – you know you love me. Can you possibly tell Dad I'm asleep? And that it would be bad for my recovery to disturb me?"

"You know, I would, but like you've always told me, I'm a terrible liar. Better to get it over with Scott."

"I hate you."

"I know, I know. Good luck Scooter. I think you're gonna need it."

"Thanks John."

"Scott Carpenter Tracy, what on earth were you thinking?"

"Hi Dad…"