Finding Alice.

Ch.1 Lost Again.

"Why can't i go with Otis?" I screamed at my father who touched my shoulder before slowly removing the shot-gun from my hands before walking calmly into the house. I screamed and stomped my feet like a child, speeding walking my way to the pond.

It was such a beautiful day, a perfect day for a hunt. One i wasn't allowed to go on probably because of the "person" I shot last time. Or today could be the perfect day for a swim. Looking around and finding myself alone i striped down to my under garments. The water looked warm, I hoped it was warm. Being the baby I am i dipped my big toe into the murky pond water testing the temperature. It was warm, but still cool at the same time. I walked the rest of the way in before submerging myself under the water. It was peaceful down here and for once after this whole mess i felt content with life. I wished I could stay here forever. I quickly shot myself up out of the water needing oxygen. I sighed heavily hoping the thoughts didn't come back. my family didn't need this now, I didn't need this. I got out of the water and just sat, thinking about everything that had happened lately.

They were dead, they were all dead. Maybe I was dead, maybe this was hell and i was getting my just desserts from God after my three attempts of killing myself had failed. I shook the thoughts from my head and looked out into the field. It was so peaceful here, almost like it hadn't happened. I wish it hadn't happened, then maybe I could leave here and start a life. I wanted my own family, husband, kids, but what if that wasn't what was in my cards. As I looked on i noticed people running, or maybe "people". I quickly grabbed my clothes before heading off the house. I spotted Maggie on the porch and yelled at her, "Look in the fields, there's something out there."

She picked up the binoculars on the railing of the porch as I ran up the stairs. "It's a man carrying a boy." I slipped my tank top over my head and looked at her worried.

"Daddy!" We both yelled in unison, making us glare at each other. More than anything Maggie wished i was more like her, and because of that I tried my hardest and succeeded in being nothing like her. Our dad stepped out onto the porch with our other sister Beth and her somewhat boyfriend Jimmy who was wielding a bat.

"Was he bit?" Daddy asked him as he moved closer towards the house.

"He was shot, by your man." The unknown stranger told us making me gasp and move off the porch to help.

"Otis?" I asked shaking my head thinking he would never of made a mistake like this.

"He told me to find Hersel, are you Hersel?" He asked out of breath while looking at my daddy with pleading eyes. He was desperate to save the boy who i presumed was his son. "Help me. Help my boy" I looked at my father who didn't even flinch.

"Get inside." He said leading us all back into the house with the stranger and his shot son in tow. "Patricia, i need my full kit. Maggie and Alice, painkillers, coagulates, grab everything. Clean towels, sheets, alcohol." I took off with my sister towards the main bathroom. She started throwing things at me, as fast as humanly possible I put them into the clothes basket on my side. She picked up the basket and took off running towards the guest room with me hot on her tail.

"Pour alcohol onto this." She told me while giving me a rage. I grabbed the alcohol and did as I was told. No matter how much I hated it I usually always did was she asked. She was my older sister and mom always said to listen to her. Even with mom dead I thought disobeying what she had told me was disrespectful.

"I've got a heartbeat. It's faint." Daddy said while looking down at the bleeding little boy on the bed.

"I got it step back." Patricia told the father while moving him out-of-the-way.

"Maggie, I.V." Daddy said loudly.

"We need some space, Alice." Maggie was getting agitated at the sacred father who wasn't moving.

"Your name?" Dad asked him.

"Rick." He looked in shock and I didn't blame him, his child had been shot. "I'm I'm Rick." He was stuttering, classic signs of shock.

"Rick, we're gonna do everything we can, okay?" My father told him calmly. "You need to give us some room." I pulled on the mans arm and nodded my head towards the door but his feet reluctantly wouldn't move. "Now." With that I used all my strength and got him out of the room.

"You look like you could use a glass of water. Go on outside and I'll meet you there in a minute." I ushered his towards the door before sprinting for the kitchen. I quickly grabbed a glass cup and filled it with water before going outside. Otis was out there with another man who was cleaning off Ricks face.

"Here, he needs to drink this." I told the man while handing him the cup knowing he'd have a better chance at getting the man to drink it than I would.

"Alice, where are yours pants?" Otis asked making me look down at my bare legs.

"Uh, well if this wasn't awkward enough." I muttered before walking around all three of the guys and feeling eyes watching me I picked up my jeans quickly pulling them up my legs.

"Where is he? Is he okay?" The new dark-haired man asked making Rick drop the glass of water that was in his hands shattering it all over the porch, before heading towards the front door and going inside. I sighed heavily knowing this man wasn't sure what would happen to his son. I followed slowly behind them into the guest room with Otis at my side.

"I'm so sorry." He said looking down at his hands folded together. He'd become like a brother to me and i knew he would never intentionally hurt anymore.

"Hey, you look at me." I snapped at him getting his full attention. "You made a mistake, and you did what you knew you could do. You brought him here, and my father is gonna patch him up." I smiled lightly hoping that's the way it would go.

"Yeah." He nodded his head trying to convince himself i was right. I patted his back and rubbed his shoulder before focusing my attention back on the little boy lying in the bed.

"Don't wander far, i'm gonna need you." My father told Rick before looking at me and Otis. "What happened?"

"I was tracking a buck. Bullet went through it. Went clean through." Otis faded out in the end i knew he was going to carry this with him for as long as he lived. He would do anything to right this wrong even if it was an accident.

"The deer slowed the bullet down. Which certainly saved his life. But it did not go through clean. It broke up into pieces. If i can get the bullet fragments out, and im counting six." Otis slipped from my side and walked over to Patricia saying something to her in hushed tones.

"Lori doesn't know?" Rick said starting to tear up, luckily his friend was there to comfort him. The muscled dark headed man wrapped his arm over his friend's shoulder slightly shushing him. "My wife doesn't know. My wife doesn't know." He started weeping this time, his friend quickly started whispering things in his ear. I looked away hating seeing a man cry and slightly disappointed the man was married. God, i was such a whore thinking about a man while his son was laying in a bed with a bullet in his stomach. I exited the room quickly ignoring the shouts from both my sisters. I needed to be alone, i did better alone.

XXX

I shot up out of my bed at the sounds of shouting coming from downstairs, then the sound of doors slamming.
"Alice, get your ass out here now!" It was Maggie and she was pissed.

"NO!" i shouted back hating how stubborn i was. She came busting in looking at me with such anger before she was the tears coming down my eyes.

"I need to be alone, there's too many people down there." She knelled by the side of my bed and looked at me wiping away the tears under one eye. "I'm sorry, i ran out of my medicine last week."

"Ssshhh, it's okay. It's okay." She started hugging me, i hugged her back missing the times before mom died when she was my best friend. Before she rebelled then became a good girl while i continued on my rebellious streak, even now after all these years.

"Why am i like this Maggie?" I asked quietly she just hugged me and i cried enjoying the company of my long-lost best friend.

XXX

I woke up the next morning and found out the real reason Maggie came to get me the day before. Otis went out with the dark-haired man i now knew as Shane to get supplies for the wounded boy. While out of their run Otis was killed. I cried a single tear before hugging my father and thanking him for telling me his self. "You're the best father i could ask for." I told him before finding Patricia and letting her cry on my shoulder. Losing people wasn't easy, but somehow in this world I'd become numb to it. I took Patricia to bed and laid a glass of water on her nightstand before going out and helping the others find rocks for Otis' outside i found that more people from Ricks group had arrived to our home. They were even nice enough to even be helping us with Otis' burial. I still kept a distance from them knowing that i wasn't 100% sure we could trust them just yet.

While building up the pile of rocks in a wheel barrel the rumbling sound of a motorcycle caught everyone's attention. Behind the motorcycle was a nice SUV and behind that an RV. "exactly how many of you are there?" I looked at Shane since he was the closet to me and the only one i knew by name.

"About a dozen." He looked up at me then back down like he wasn't supposed to be looking at me. I looked over at my sister Beth and quickly took her hand and walked us back to the house. Our father and some of the other group exited the house so i halted us where we stood.
"How is he?" An old guy in a Hawaiian shirt and a fisherman's hat on asked.

"He'll pull through." Laurie, ricks wife told him. She was smiling, and even though she was smiling i felt like i couldn't trust her or maybe i was being jealous since i thought rick was pretty hot. "Thanks to Hershell and his people-"

"And Shane." Rick added looking at his obvious best friend. "We'd have lost Carl if not for him." No matter the reason of the somewhat speech i couldn't help but think i was hearing from the first lady and the president. I literally had to bite the inside of my lip to keep from laughing. They all hugged and talked about how happy they were that Carl was okay and how this was all a stupid accident. I shook my head and couldn't stop from biting my lip any longer.

"We did lose somebody who died helping save Carl's life so i'd appreciate if we could move on with his funeral. I told Patricia we wouldn't take long." I told them a little too angrily but why should they be happy even after we lost somebody. Somebody who died trying to save one of them.

"Sorry about my daughter, she was close with Otis." I heard my father explain as the screen door slammed behind me. I went to collect Patricia who i knew didn't wanna face the music, sadly her husband was gone.

XXX

"Blessed be god, father of our lord Jesus Christ. Praise be to him for the gift of our brother Otis, for his span of years, for his abundance of character; Otis, who gave his life to save a child's, now more than ever our most precious asset. We thank you god, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace. He died as he lived, in grace." That was my cue to start singing amazing grace along with my two sisters.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to feel
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
When we've been there, ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we first begun
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

We made it through the whole song, but by the time we finished all three of us were sobbing messes along with most the others who were in attendance besides most of the men. "Shane, will you speak for Otis?" My father asked shocking myself and a lot of the others.

"I'm not good at it." He looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry." He practically whispered the last part but i heard it.

"You were the last one with him." Patricia really needed to hear this it was clear in her tone of voice she was shaky but still holding it together.

"Would you share his final moments, please. I need to hear. I need to know his death has meaning." Maggie left me and Beth to comfort Patricia with a comforting hand on her shoulder. I continued to hold onto Beth and stroke her blonde hair. Shane looked conflicted and nervous as hell but that didn't stop him.

"Okay." He took a few moments to compose himself before he spoke clearly for everyone to hear. "We were about done. Almost out of ammo. We were down to pistols by then. I was limping. It was bad. Ankle all swollen up. " He has us all hanging to him with our undivided attention. "We've got to save the boy. See, that's what he said. He gave me his backpack. He shoved me ahead. Run, he said. He said I'll take the rear. I'll cover you. And when i looked back..." He paused, he paused too damn long scaring us and leaving us with images in our heads that we didn't want. He started limping away making me think he was leaving without finishing.

"Finish what you started, don't you leave her with that." I kinda screamed, i admit i was a little too emotional but it should be expected after losing a loved one.

"If not for Otis, I'd have never made it out alive. And that goes for Carl too. It was Otis. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his." He stopped at the pile of rock underneath the tree where Otis was buried picked up an rock and planted it at the top then sauntered off. We all dispersed after my dad finished up the service and i went in search of Shane. After walking around for at least ten minutes I found him behind the chicken coop. I walked up slowly making sure he saw me so i wouldn't be mistake for what they call walkers.

"Thank you for finishing that and I'm sorry for my outburst." I apologized and he just nodded his head at me. "I mean everyone's emotions are running a little high these days, right?" I asked with a chuckle and he cracked a small smile.

"You got that right." He finally spoke making me a little happy. I walked up closer to him and gave him a hug.

"If you ever need someone to about all this stuff I'm always here." I looked into his eyes and i saw sadness. I couldn't help what happened next. I kissed him. I kissed a man i just met yesterday under horrible circumstances. He pulled away and kinda shoved me.

"What the hell was that?" He asked making me feel ashamed. I looked at the ground before looking back at him.

"Sorry, you're sad, i'm sad, i thought we could sad together." I stepped closer to him and when he didn't move i grabbed his face and connected our lips. He finally opened his mouth and excepted mine. I felt his hands roaming my body and i moaned into his mouth. He got excited after that i could tell by the huge bugle in his pants that resting tightly against my belly. I couldn't take it anymore i wanted to see it, taste it. We continued kissing but i unbuckled his pants. I kissed him one last time before pushing his pants down around his ankles before pulling his hard erect cock from the material that was containing it. It was normal size, nothing to be too excited about but i hadn't seen one since the break out happened. I shook those thoughts from my head as i started stoking it and planting short soft kisses to it. I heard Shane groan and i knew it was only as matter of time before he started begging. But he did something that shocked me, he grabbed me by the ponytail that was in my hair and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Stop being a fucking tease." He told me and i couldn't help but crack a smile as he lightly released his grip before taking the hair tie out of my hair. I stopped teasing i started with just the tip then about half in and out before i had him all the way down my throat. Soon he was grabbing fist fulls of my hair and literally fucking my face, and i let him. I let him as the tears came down my face, and the saliva out of my mouth. I missed the feeling of having something so warm and huge in my throat. "Fuck." He growled lowly before spewing his semen down my throat. I was shocked at first. i wasn't expecting him not to warn me. I choked before coughing up his cum. I didn't know what to do with it since we were outside and i had to walk by everyone on my way to the house so i used my fingers to force it back into my mouth. I swallowed all of it. Shane looked happy, he had he suck him off a little more before he pulled up his jeans, tucked his dick back where it belonged, and left me with a tear streaked face and grass stains on the knees of my jeans.

im not sure what expected, but i didn't expect him to just leave me without a word. I was so lost, i was back to where i was a year ago. Having sexual escapades with anyone who wanted to fill the void in my heart. I needed to find myself again, and soon. This couldn't continue. No matter how much i wanted it to.

Authors Note: I have no fucking idea what this story is... or if it's even a story. I might continue, but i might not. I have some other stories i need to tend to, but this just popped into my head and i had to write it. Alice is a bit of a whore, but i like her. She reminds me alot of myself. I hope you guys enoyed this.:) Please review! Some encouragment might make me write more, who knows.