Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or the characters.
A/N: This is something I wrote a few months ago when I felt really down and had to cheer myself up. I hope it will help someone else. Also, I am considering making some sort of sequel (to show that things did get better) or perhaps a prequel (to show why this happened).
Falling Apart
"I can't do it anymore. I just can't. Everyone tells me that everything will be okay, but when is that? Lately everything just keeps getting worse." The young man said with tears streaming down his face. "I can't even get a rest from it all when I'm sleeping, because of the things I dream. It's just too much." A pair of arms wrapped around him as he buried his face in that persons chest.
"I'm sorry." Was all the other person could say.
"I just wish I could cease to exist." The young man said after a while, tears still falling freely.
"I don't want to see you dead." The other one said truthfully. "I don't want to die. I just don't want to exist for a while. And then I could start existing again when life is better. Yeah, that would be nice."
"Life doesn't work that way. You just have to hold on and one day when you wake up you'll see that everything is fine, that you're happy again. Weather if it's tomorrow or 10 years from now, that day will come. I can promise you that."
"Can you? I mean, what if my life just keeps getting worse? What if it never gets better? So much have happened these past few months that I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. It feels just like... Like I'm drowning. It's tiring you know." The tears had now stopped, but he still felt like his whole world was falling apart.
"Merlin." The person holding him said. "I can't even begin to understand how you feel, but you are not alone. I will always be here for you. Just like I always have. I know I haven't always treated you the way you deserve and I know some of my words have really hurt you, but that is in the past. This is now and I will never treat you like that again and I will do whatever I can to help you out of this."
"But can't you see? There's nothing you can do. There's nothing that will make things alright again. Not unless you can give me back the people I lost. None of them deserved to die. Not for me." He was crying again. The other person wanted to say something so badly, but knowing there was nothing he could say he just kissed Merlin on the top of his head. "Arthur?" The young warlock said with a whisper.
"Yes, Merlin?" He answered.
"Do you really think everything will be okay?"
Arthur smiled and said: "I don't think so. I know so." The young prince kissed his servant on the lips before saying: "We'll get through this together, okay?" Merlin nodded. Maybe it wasn't okay right now, but he believed that Arthur was right. And with Arthur by his side everything had to be okay sooner or later.
The End