Here it is, ladies and gentlemen: the much-anticipated companion story to Lee's Huglist, which was requested mainly by UnagiKeki and ppeach2! This story is very old, but since I finally finished Lee's Huglist, I figured this should go up too.
Sai's Mission
"Sai, your next mission will be to eliminate this man," Danzou said with no introduction. ANBU ROOT does not operate under the normal formalities, after all. They are an organization of emotionless shinobi, tasked with handling the unpleasant missions needed by the Hidden Leaf Village, the ones too harsh and dangerous for the 'normal' ninja to complete.
The assassinations, the decimation of villages, and, under normal circumstances, the annihilation of total clans. Danzou had somehow managed to get a normal ANBU to do that…
Danzou handed an image to Sai, and the pale teenager looked carefully at the picture, memorizing the man's features. He turned the page over and quickly recorded the man's private details into his memory as well.
"He should be an easy target to assassinate. He's a retired ninja, now living in a resort village in Wind Country, fifteen miles southwest of Suna," Danzou said unnecessarily. Sai had just read all this from the piece of paper, after all.
Sai nodded nonetheless. It wouldn't do to show disrespect to the commander, although Sai did not actually know what disrespect was.
"Good. Be on your way," Danzou said.
Sai smiled at him. He had been reading on his trips to the library that smiles were a great way to start or finish a conversation.
"…Why are you smiling?" Danzou asked.
"The book said it was a great way to start or finish a conversation," Sai informed him, still smiling cheerfully.
"…I see," Danzou said, sounding as if he did not understand.
Sai stood up from his half-bowing position and walked forward to his leader.
"Sai, what are you doing?" Danzou asked, worry evident in his voice.
Sai leaned back, surprised. He had never heard Danzou sound worried, and he was sure he was doing this properly.
Frowning, he retrieved a notebook from his bag. He flipped it open, and read the notes he had made the other day, when that odd green-spandex jumpsuit wearing boy was "hugging" everyone.
He looked back up at Danzou. "According to my notes, I was doing it right," he said to the man.
Danzou was very confused by now. "What are you talking about?" he asked the dark-haired boy now reading carefully over the specific details he had scribbled down about the process of hugging.
Sai turned his eyes towards Danzou once again. "I am hugging you," he said, a fake smile on his face.
"Why?" Danzou asked, unsure if he really wanted to hear the answer.
"Because," Sai flipped a page in his notebook, "you are unyouthful and I am helping to spread the youth around," he told Danzou, reciting the things Lee had told him before.
"What does 'unyouthful' mean?" Danzou asked despite himself.
"I don't know," Sai confessed.
"I see," Danzou said. It was becoming a regular phrase for him.
Sai smiled at him.
"Right, well, you can go on your mission now," Danzou told him, eager to get rid of him so that Danzou could digest this event alone. Or maybe just try to forget about it with the assistance of strong sake.
Sai nodded his head in a respectful bow, and moved in for what Danzou assumed was going to be another hug. "You really don't have to do that," he assured the boy hurriedly.
The man was lying in his bed, sleeping deeply and dreaming of peaceful things Sai couldn't see. He was also drooling, but that's not relevant.
Sai watched the man interestedly, wondering if he would wake up. He could just kill him and be done with it, but he really wanted to perfect his hugging skills.
It was like learning a new technique. He had to train in it and hone his skills, until he could do it effortlessly and perfectly every time.
He wanted to be able to hug people as well as the fellow in green, who seemed to do it without thinking about it.
It came…naturally to that boy, and Sai wanted it to come naturally to him as well.
So he was watching the man he was supposed to be killing, hoping he would wake up soon so that he could practice hugging him.
After all, if the man was going to die at the end of Sai's training session, then it wouldn't matter so much if Sai messed up the hugs.
The man snorted in his sleep.
Sai sighed, wondering how long this was going to take. He contemplated hugging the man while he was sleeping, but he had heard tales from other ROOT members of getting caught in a target's arms as they dreamed, and being kissed while the person muttered someone's name. Sai was sure he did not want that to happen to him.
He could, however, wake the man, and then hug him. That way, he could get feedback on his skills.
Yes, that is what Sai would do.
He pulled his tanto out of its holster, and slashed the blade across the rope holding the chandelier up.
He jumped nimbly out of the way as the chandelier, with all its crystal components and candles, unlit, came crashing to the floor.
The man in the bed sat up with a jerk. "Wh—what?" he asked, still sleepy but aware, on the edge of his senses, that there was someone in his room who did not belong.
Sai stepped forward, leaving the shadows behind.
The man gulped. He reached under his pillow, presumably to grab the weapon Sai had already found and destroyed, and his eyes widened when he realized it wasn't there.
Sai regarded him through hooded eyes.
"Wh—who are you?" the man asked in a shaky voice.
"I am nobody," Sai answered. Then he remembered what the strange boy had said to him. "I am here to hug you for the Springtime of Youth," he stated carefully.
The man in the bed blinked. "Um…OK?" he said. A thought occurred to him. "So you aren't an assassin?" he asked cautiously.
"Oh no," Sai said, "I'm still going to kill you; I just want to hug you first." He smiled at the man in a manner he hoped was reassuring, as he had read in a book that it is sometimes necessary to calm people down when you tell them something drastic.
"Any particular reason why?" the man asked slowly.
"Why what?" Sai responded, still smiling.
"Why do you want to hug me before you kill me?" the man clarified.
"Oh, I see. Well," Sai paused, looking for a good way to explain this. "I learned a new technique, called 'hugging' and I need someone to practice on. You have to be killed no matter what, but I figured I would try to get some help while on this mission because there isn't much opportunity to hug people in the organization I work for."
"Are you insane?" the man asked cautiously.
"Not at all," Sai replied, his fake smile still in place. "I just hate letting good opportunities such as this go to waste. Besides, if you provide me with decent constructive criticism, I will in turn be kind enough to let you have a painless death." Sai made a mental note to look up the meaning of the word 'insane.'
The man whimpered at the reminder of why Sai was actually here. "OK," he agreed.
"Excellent!" Sai said, with real happiness.
He put his tanto away and moved expectantly to the center of the room, to the right of the broken glass of the chandelier.
"Do you—do you want me over there?"
Sai nodded.
The man reluctantly pushed the blankets off his form, and stood. He looked carefully at the ground as he walked, not wanting to step in the glass. He stopped a few feet away from the smiling Sai, and shifted uncomfortably.
"Don't worry," Sai said, "this part will definitely be painless."
The man looked as though he wanted to be very, very far away from here, but, since that wasn't an option, he cowered as Sai came forwards. "Hey, wait a minute, why didn't my guards come in here when the chandelier crashed down?" he asked suddenly.
"I put a genjutsu on them to make sure they didn't hear anything until they were supposed to. It was quite easy to do," he said with a frown.
"Well, my men aren't all ninja. I didn't want anything more to do with shinobi life once I retired," the man said. "Why are you going to kill me anyway?" he asked Sai.
"I honestly do not know. I am not informed of the reasons for my actions, I am just told to complete the mission," Sai answered.
"You aren't a ROOT member by any chance, are you?" the retired ninja asked.
"Yes, I am. How do you know about us? We're supposed to be a secret organization," Sai said.
The man stared at him as if he was stupid. "I used to be a ninja, kid," he said. "Of course I know about Konoha's 'secret organizations'."
"Oh. I suppose I should hug you now."
"Yes, that would be a good idea."
"You aren't going to try to kill me, are you?" Sai asked seriously.
"Why on earth would I do that?" the man replied innocently. "You are, after all, only practicing your new hugging technique on me."
"Yes, that is true." Sai smiled. Then he moved to hug the man, but it was definitely not right. "I do not think you are supposed to stand so stiffly," he informed the man.
"My apologies," his target answered sincerely, and he relaxed his posture.
"So," Sai began, as he moved his arms away from the man, stood for a second, then moved his arms back to try the hug again, "why do you think Konoha would want to kill you?"
"Oh, well, I used to be quite a formidable foe to your country. I killed a lot of Konoha shinobi during the Third Great Ninja War. I changed my ways after I met Konoha's Yellow Flash, but I suppose some of your leaders think that is not enough."
"Oh," Sai said, now on his fifth hug-attempt.
"No, make your arms a little more gentle. If you keep hugging people that tightly, you'll suffocate them or squeeze them to death," the man said, using his own arms to show Sai the correct tightness of an embrace.
Sai tried it on his own.
"Good," the man praised his work. "But your posture is a little off. Rather than standing stiff like a board, you have to bend a little. Not quite like that," he said, observing Sai's hunched over form. "You look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame," he said.
"Who's that?"
"No idea. But that is definitely not the right position. Resume your normal stance," he instructed, "then sort of lean in a little, so that you are both helping support the person you are hugging and being supported by them. Like this." The man created a shadow clone, and proceeded to hug it.
Sai narrowed his eyes to observe more carefully, and leaned his face in to determine the exact angle of the two's bodies. He pulled out his notebook and wrote it down.
"What are you doing?" the man asked curiously. He was no longer intimidated by the odd shinobi, and instead seemed genuinely interested in helping Sai master the art of hugging people.
"Writing down the angle," Sai said, "of your bodies so I know how to position myself."
"You don't have to be that exact," the man said. "Besides, it differs from person to person."
Sai nodded, then pulled a scroll from his bag.
"What are going to do with that?" the man asked, suddenly fearful for his life again.
"I am making an ink clone, so that I can hug him, and you can tell me if I am doing it right or not," Sai responded, quill flowing across the page at a rapid rate, drawing an identical copy of the ninja. He brought it to life as the man stared, then the two Sai's stared expectantly at their target.
"Right, well," the man paused. "I guess you should just hug, then."
Sai hugged his ink clone, trying to imitate the actions he had seen the man and Lee do. "By the way," his clone began, "is your name really Akuyami?"
The man stiffened. "Yes," he eventually said, preparing for Sai to make fun of him for being called Evil-Dark (rough translation).
"Oh. Is this right?"
Akuyami looked at Sai and his clone. "Yeah," he said, slightly surprised. "That is a perfect hug! How does it feel?"
Sai frowned for a moment. "Odd," he finally answered.
"Odd? Why? It should be quite nice and comforting," Akuyami stated.
"I'm hugging myself," Sai pointed out. "It's not really as comforting as when I was hugged by the spandex-boy."
Akuyami stared. "'Spandex-boy'?" he echoed.
"Yes, a boy wearing green spandex hugged me a few days ago. That is why I began this rigorous training."
"All right," Akuyami responded a little uncertainly. "Why don't you try hugging me again then?"
Sai's ink clone popped away and sprayed ink everywhere, but Akuyami didn't mind because he was going to be dead as soon as Sai could hug properly anyway.
Sai hugged the man, positioning his body so that their shoulders touched, and their arms were comfortably around each other. He made sure to move his head so that they didn't bang into each other.
Akuyami appraised the hug he was receiving and sighed slightly.
"Is it bad?" Sai asked, sounding uncertain.
"No, no, it's perfect."
"Then why did you sigh?" said Sai.
"Because, now that you can hug properly, you're going to have to kill me."
"Oh." Sai had forgotten about that. "I suppose you are right." He frowned.
"OK, I think we've gone past the 'appropriate time for a hug to last' mark," Akuyami said.
"Oh, right. Sorry," Sai apologized and stepped away. "How long should a hug last?"
"I don't know how to describe it, but you know when you are giving a hug how much is the right time. It is sort of instinctive." At Sai's worried look, he continued. "Don't worry, you'll get it in time. All you have to do is keep practicing hugging people. If they are uncomfortable with your hug, they'll tell you," he said kindly.
Sai nodded.
"Oh, and one last piece of advice before you kill me, when hugging another man, it is sometimes a good idea to pat them on the back."
"Huh?" Sai asked, suddenly confused. He thought he understood hugging after Akuyami's helpful lesson, then the man said this? Sai was lost.
"Well, some men do not like being hugged by another guy, and when you're bodies are so close together for any amount of time, other men get the wrong ideas. Patting their backs assures them of your manliness."
"Oh," Sai said, still not understanding, but not wanting to look like an idiot in front of the man he was supposed to assassinate.
"Would you like to try it?" Akuyami graciously offered.
Sai nodded. Akuyami moved to hug him, and patted his back lightly a couple of times.
"Now you try," Akuyami instructed, moving back. Sai hugged him, and slapped his back twice.
"Ow," Akuyami winced.
"Oh, sorry! Did I hit you too hard?" Sai asked, concerned.
"Just a little. You want to show your manliness, but you don't need to leave the people you hug bruised."
"All right," said Sai, unsure if he was ever going to get the hang of this.
"Try again," Akuyami said.
Sai hugged him again and patted his back with less force this time.
"Perfect! Well, good enough, anyway. With a little more practice, you'll be a hugging expert in no time," Akuyami said, smiling encouragingly at Sai.
"Oh! Thank you!" Sai said. He had an unfamiliar warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach that he partially recognized but had no name for. It was like the feeling he used to have when...his brother complimented his artwork. He flinched, startled at the thought of his brother.
"Are you OK?" Akuyami asked with concern.
"Um, yes," Sai answered. "I was just...thinking of something."
"Oh." Akuyami regarded him for a moment, then appeared to make a decision. "You seem like your delaying or hesitating on something," he said.
Sai jumped again. "It's just..." He did not know how to word it. "I am not so sure I want to kill you," he admitted.
Akuyami's expression was questioning. "Why not?" he asked.
"Well, you've just spent all this time hugging me and helping me master what appears to be a very complicated yet important art to normal interactions between one or more people, and it would extremely ungrateful of me if I were to just kill you after that," Sai said.
"You're only doing your job," Akuyami pointed out reasonably.
Sai looked at him. "It doesn't help when you say things like that," he told the man.
"Sorry."
"And then while you were helping me, I remembered someone I have not thought about in a long time. My brother." Sai's expression changed.
Akuyami looked at him slightly sadly. "I once had a brother as well. And he died at a very young age, during the Third Great Shinobi War. I wanted to avenge his death, but I met the Yondaime of Konoha and... He showed me that getting vengeance is not always a good thing. I learned to appreciate what my brother's life had been, and his legacy. And I realized that he would not want me to kill someone who was only doing what he was commanded to do by his superiors."
"Oh," said Sai. "Is that why you don't mind that I have to kill you?"
Akuyami's expression became amused. "I'm old, kid. I'm going to die soon anyway. Besides," he said, glancing around his bedroom, "you've kind of destroyed my bedroom."
Sai looked around as well. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I've been thinking of moving soon anyway," Akuyami said consolingly.
Sai thought for a moment. Then he made his decision. "I am not going to kill you, Akuyami-san. You have reminded me of what it is like to have a brother, and I would not want to be so ungracious as to kill you for that," he told the man.
Akuyami looked at him. "Are you sure you will not get into trouble with your superiors?" he asked, sounding worried.
"They will not know. We do not report the result of our missions; it is assumed that we are successful no matter what; they know what happened if we don't come back. We're dead," he spelled out unnecessarily.
Akuyami considered this. "Well, I don't really want to die, so I am not going to complain about your decision. But I think we better do something so that they think I'm dead so you don't get into trouble, just in case."
Sai nodded. "What do you propose?"
Akuyami thought for a moment. "Well, we could set up the room to make it look like an epic battle took place rather than a hugging lesson..."
Sai nodded once again. "That would be a good start," he agreed.
Akuyami tore the covers off his bed, and retrieved a kunai from his closet. As he proceeded to cut the blankets and sheets to shreds, Sai destroyed the cabinets and, rather reluctantly, ripped the pages out of a few of the books in the room. He pocketed one he thought looked interesting, though.
Akuyami surveyed their work. "Hmm... it still seems like something is missing..."
Sai also looked around. He couldn't see anything wrong.
"Aha!" Akuyami snapped his fingers. "We need to make it look as though a body was destroyed here."
"Oh," Sai said. "I forgot about that."
Akuyami smiled wryly at him. "I figured," he said, not unkindly. He went over to his closet and pulled out a vial containing green liquid. He opened it slowly, holding the container far away from his body, and poured it onto the floor. It formed into the shape of a body, and mimicked Akuyami's appearance.
Sai's eyes widened. "What technique is this?" he asked.
"Something I learned to do years ago, when I had even more assassins after me. Most people have forgotten about me by now," Akuyami said.
Sai looked away guiltily.
Akuyami noted this, and his expression softened. "Not your fault, kid. If you're in ROOT, well... Let's just say I understand why you were sent to kill me. Danzou has a thing with maintaining his grudges for a longer time than necessary," Akuyami said.
"What did you do to Danzou-sama?" Sai asked.
Akuyami's expression turned mischevious. "I am afraid I can't tell you that. The greatest secret of my life. I'm taking it with me to my grave." He paused for a moment. "Unless you can get it out of Danzou, but I don't recommend trying. He's not one to share his embarrassing moments with others, and he likely won't take too kindly to anyone asking about it."
Sai nodded.
Akuyami turned back to his clone, and stabbed it a few times with the kunai he still held. It leaked a red liquid that looked like blood. Akuyami frowned.
"What's wrong?" Sai asked.
"You use a tanto. You'll have to slash it a few times."
Sai walked over and complied.
"Good," Akuyami said approvingly.
"What about your men?" Sai asked.
"Is it necessary for you to kill them?" Akuyami asked seriously. "Because they are innocent bystanders, and they don't really need to be killed..."
"I agree. There is no point in me killing them, even if I were to assassinate you. But I meant what are you going to do to get out of here? Will you be bringing your men with you?"
Akuyami grinned. "Nah. I'm tired of having body guards, and besides, if people think I'm dead, it doesn't matter anymore anyway. No one is going to want to kill some random retired ninja in whatever new village I move to." He looked around his bedroom. "I probably should have gotten my things out before we set up the 'epic battle scene,' though," he remarked, as he grabbed a bag and began filling it with a few pieces of clothing, some weapons, and other items he wanted for his new life.
Sai watched the man who had helped him learn how to hug properly packing up his own life. Sai felt slightly guilty, as if he was the cause of this-if he hadn't come to assassinate the man, would Akuyami now be forced to leave his village? No, Sai knew. If he had not come, Danzou would have sent someone else, who would not have tried to learn how to hug, and who would have just killed Akuyami and then left. Sai felt another unfamiliar feeling as he thought this. It was like...a red flash that made him want to kill whoever tried to harm his new brother.
Akuyami spoke, bringing Sai out of his thoughts. "Well, that's everything. I suppose I should be going now."
Sai nodded. "I will wait until you have left before I dispell the illusion," he promised the man.
"Thank you." Akuyami paused. "Goodbye, kid," he said.
"Goodbye, Akuyami-san."
Akuyami walked forward, and Sai automatically moved into Stage One of the Hugging Postures. Akuyami wrapped his arms around him, and Sai hugged him back in turn.
They stepped back from each other, and Akuyami went to the window. "I'm glad you learned how to hug," he said to Sai.
Sai nodded. "I am glad I met you, Akuyami-san. Akuyami-nii-san."
"'Nii-san'?" Akuyami repeated with a snort. "More like 'jiji'!"
"Perhaps I should just stick with 'san'," Sai suggested.
Akuyami laughed again, and gave a little wave of his hand to say goodbye.
"Enjoy your new life," Sai told him sincerely.
"Yeah. You, too, kid," Akuyami replied. Then he jumped from the window and was gone.
Sai looked around at the room, and spotted something on the floor. The vial for the technique to create the 'dead' clone. He picked it up carefully, remembering how cautiously Akuyami had treated it, and found the stopper. He closed the container off, and put it carefully in his bag. He wanted a memento of Akuyami, the man who taught him how to hug.
"There were no issues with your last mission, correct?" Danzou asked.
Sai stared at him. "That is correct," he responded in a neutral tone.
"Really? Because I recieved this rather odd piece of mail today," Danzou said, holding a postcard out to Sai.
Sai took it and quickly glanced at the picture, before turning to the back. He almost snorted with laughter when he read the message.
Danzou quickly yanked the card back. "It is not funny," he said in angry voice.
"Of course, Danzou-sama," Sai said, making sure to keep his expression as emotionless as possible.
Danzou narrowed his eyes at him. Then, after deducting absolutely nothing from Sai's face, he said in a resigned tone, "You may leave now. But," his voice stopped Sai's progress. "I will be watching you," he said.
Sai quickly left the room, and then ran down the hallway to let out his laughter. A few ROOT members looked at him oddly, but he ignored them. That's what Akuyami-san did to Danzou!
An old man sitting at an outdoor café in Paris suddenly sneezed violently. A waiter came running over with a handkerchief which the man gratefully took.
"Is Monsieur all right?" the waiter asked.
"Oui, oui, I just had something in my nose," the man replied, before going back to his café ou laite and newspaper.
The waiter looked at him for a second longer, before rushing off to assist more customers.
Akuyami wondered if the strange boy he had met the other day was doing well, and if Danzou had received his postcard. He grinned wickedly before downing his coffee and ordering another.
In about a week's time, Sai would join Team Kakashi, and would attempt to learn about more "interactions" that people complete. He would learn about nicknames and jokes, and comforting a friend. Obviously, it would go wrong more than half the time, and Sakura would beat him up while Naruto yelled at him, but Sai would eventually enjoy himself and would surprisingly learn a thing or two.
And the whole time, he would be thinking of the man he was supposed to assassinate who instead taught him how to hug properly.