Hey guys! Reviews make me update! Sorry if there a bit OCC!
***these are translations of what their saying! (Bruce is on vacay :)
Dick and Tim cheerfully dragged their siblings through Walmart, on a glorified shopping trip. The -albeit grumpy- twins needed new clothes, as Alfred hsd chastised Bruce for allowing his children to wonder around in Tim's clothes. Jason trailed sulkily behind, keeping his hood up and sunglasses on, dragging his feet and glaring at everyone.
Darian sat piggyback on Tim, her green eyes more curious than anything. Her twin, like Jason, dragged his feet, but his eyes gave away his emotions. Ok, so he had never been in a store. But, neither had his sister! And she seemed to she enjoying herself on her equally cheerful pony.
Struck with inspiration, he leaped onto Dick's back, all the while yelling, "Grayson you are now my pony!" His oldest brother grunted with the sudden weight, quickly bringing his arms up to support the boy. He grinned at Jason's smirk. "Neigh!" Dick chortled.
"Neigh indeed, brother. Timothy, take a left, there is a purple sign that speaks of the female gender. GO!" She cheered, then twirled a baseball hat she had borrowed (stolen) from Jason. Tim scoffed, but nonetheless 'neighed' and turned, heading toward the girls section.
"Here, Timmy, a list of girl clothes and girly stuff they like I got off the Internet. Jay and I have Damian." Dick shoved a paper into his hand, then turned, going in the opposite direction. Damian immediately protested. "Wait, why are we going in this way? My sister is That way!" He cried indignantly, pointing to where the duo had gone. "Uh, Demo-Dami, she's shopping for girl clothes. Your a boy. Duhr." Jason chuckled.
"Unless your sexually confused."
Mini-batglare. "I know what my genitals look like, Todd."
"Can we change the topic, please?!" Dick crouched, letting Damian climb down, the boy still sneering at a sniggering Jason. The boys ears were bright red. "Mention this and I shall relieve you of yours." The boy hissed at Jason. In response the teen flipped him off.
"Stop trying to rile him into a fight, Jay." He studied his list for a moment, then went on. "Ok, first, shirts, then pants and shorts, socks, underwear, and shoes. Oh, and extra 'boy stuff.'" Jason snickered. "That last part sounded considerably sexualized," The dirty minded teen grinned.
"Jay so help me I will cut out your voice box and-"
"What about this?" A slightly apprehensive Damian pulled a t-shirt off the rack, holding it up. It had the nightwing symbol in the center. Dicks face lit up. "That's perfect! Do they come in any others?" Jason looked up at the sign, mentally face-palming at the older mans excitement. "Uh, Dickie?" He asked.
"Yea?" He answered, tossing several pairs of jeans and shirts in the cart.
"This is the superhero apparel section." The over-excited young mans mouth dropped.
***BREAK***
Darians eyes bulged as she took in the pastel/rainbow wonderland. Tim looked slightly repulsed at the brightness, but set her down and let her roam, throwing things in the cart left and right.
"What are barrettes? Do I need them? I probably need them, that girl has them. Camoflauge jeans! Yes! Skinny? I'm skinny.. Whatever, they must go in." She threw several pairs of jeans into the cart, not quite getting the skinny concept, but not minding. Her mouth widened into a bright smile when she saw a grey t-shirt with a pop-tart cat pooping a rainbow. It went into the cart.
She rounded the corner, tossing in several packages of different types of socks, and several more shirts. "Barbie underwear? What sort of fool wears that? Pass. Ooh, superhero underwear! She shoots, she touchdowns! Yea!" She threw it into the cart, pushed by a stupidly grinning Tim. He had never seen her this happy, not once. The only rival would have to be when Damian kicked that guy in the nuts.
Passing that memory, he turned his attention to the next items on the list. His face turned red.
"Bras?!"
***BREAK***
The cart was stuffed. Damian tossed in a pair of black converse shoes and some tan flip flops. From swim trunks to sunglasses, it was stuffed. They even bought some toiletries.
Jason's hand coyly reached for a package of condoms. Dick glared at him and swatted his hand away. "What? There for ME. I could use some extra rubbers." The teen tried to play off as innocent. Dick drew him aside, turning away from the young boy that was studying a lego set with extreme ferocity. "The whole idea is that we try to be role models to our little brother, not insert ideas." The first ex-robin muttered.
Jason rolled his eyes, turning back toward their 'little brother.' "Yeah, we're GREAT role-models." He mumbled sarcastically.
"It is mine! I grabbed it first!" Damian was now engaged in a fierce tug-of-war with a large, rather fat middle-aged man over the lego set he now so valiantly defended.
"It's Batman vrs the Joker, and its the last one!" The man screeched.
Still pulling, the boys eyes narrowed. "tarak 'ayuha alwghd ! Darian 'ahtaj musaeidatukum !" He shouted.
*Let go you bastard! Darian I require your assistance!*
***BREAK***
Said sister and blushing big brother were looking at the many styles of training bras and bras, in different shapes and sizes. Poor Tim gulped as he picked up a random bra. "What is underwire?..." His musings were interrupted by a just as confused Darian. "I like this one."she held up a three pack of training bras, in different colors.
The teen shrugged helplessly. "Ok, this list also says normal bras, for later.. Thirty-A?" Again, she pulled a three-pack off the rack. "These have padding. And they say thirty-A. Timothy look, one of them is purple!"
She eagerly pointed at a purple triangle. "What is next?" She tried to move his hand that held the list down. "What is a pad? Does everyone need one? And what is a tampon?"
Poor Tims already apple-red face blushed a deeper crimson. "Maybe I'll just call Barbara.." He mumbled.
"tarak 'ayuha alwghd ! darian 'ahtaj musaeidatukum !" Damian's voice resounded through the store. "Brother! I am coming!" She dropped several books into the already overloaded cart. "Timothy, you look for the tampons and pads, I will find Damian!" She yelled, especially loud as she ran toward the source of the noise.
Several mothers with their children stared at him. The teen buried his face in his hands, whipping out his cell. "You have to save me, I'm BRA shopping with my little sister."
***BREAK*** (breaking is fun!)
Darian rounded the corner of the lego aisle, knocking several knockoff Lego brands off the shelves. Wih her feet flying, she dove and tackled the large man with a screaming battle cry. "Issqat dhlk , tuajih alllaena!" *Drop it, fuckface!* She screeched in the flailing mans ear, unaware that he had landed on Damian.
Jason began to guffaw loudly, nearly choking. Dick moved save Damian from suffocating, glaring at Jason all the while. Still giggling, he grappled his baby sisters arms and pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her squirming form. She cursed in several different languages, some of which the young man recognized, had enough to make even the second Robin blush. "Release me, Todd! This child molester needs to be removed of his child-bearing anatomy! He is unworthy of reproduction!" She wailed, kicking her legs out.
He said nothing but tried to stop laughing. The golden boy was dragging a kicking Damian back from he man as he wheezed, struggling to stand. A wild kick from the ex-assassin connected, causing the large man to clutch between his legs as he howled.
"Your lucky I don't sue! In fact, you'll be hearing from my lawyer! These, these BRATS belong in a Juvenile center!" He gasped out, turning red in the face, before stumbling off. "SeCURITY! I've been attACKED!" His voice cracked badly.
Damian stopped struggling, sneering at the waddling form. Darian pushed away the hands that held her, flipping off the vanishing man. "de alllaenat GO ! hdha alddik mass qiteatan sharei min alqarf yastahiqq 'ann qate rasih ! yumaris aljins maeah ! kayf ytm hdha almaerid ?! yamut w yahtariq fi aljahim , wa'ant alssajaq alddahuna!" She roared, ranting angrily.
{I'm not translating it, sorry. *blushes* it's a little too much.}
Damian huffed and rolled his eyes, walking over to her and backhanding her. She blinked, a bright red handprint forming on her cheek. Her eyes softened.
"I، 'aetadhir ean 'afeali sirakh." She muttered. *I, apologize for my brash actions.*
"There you are!" A girls voice startled them. Baba walked down the hall, holding a pink box. Tim trailed behind her, pushing the cart. "Security is looking for you. There's a fat guy saying he was attacked by ninjas." She chuckled.
"Hi Bab's!" Dick waved. Appropriate mumbled 'hellos' were imitated. Tim pushed Darian next to the cart. "I'm gonna pretend that never happened. You go with Barbara." She blinked, pushing a strand of black hair back and studying the redhead.
"Very we'll. come, Barbara, I wish to know what a tampon is. And why Todd had balloons in his coat pocket." She held up a box.
"Why you little-"
"Jason why did you have condoms?" Tim asked.
"None of your business!"
"Great, boys, you just made my job harder! Now I have to tell a nine year old about the birds and the bees!"
"I fail to see what birds and insects have to do about sex, Barbara.."
"Ttt, do you know nothing, sister? Clearly she means the balloons and tampon things are meant for the CAPTURE of the birds and insects."
"Shut up and go!" Jason began to push the girls down the aisle, away from the wreckage. "An it doesn't matter why I had condoms!"
"Did you wish to capture the insect? If so, balloons are a poor choice." Damian pointed out.
Tim face-palmed. "Jason, I can't believe you were shoplifting!"
"If you REALLY wanted to catch the insect, I would purchase one of those insect cages. Or a birdcage.."
"I hate Walmart. And put the damn condoms back, Jay."
Fine. But don't say you've never needed condoms, Goldie."
***BREAK**** (SO MANY)
"So, a tampon is like a sponge for girls when the are ovulating?" Darian wrinkled her nose.
Barbara nodded, putting three different sizes boxes in the smaller cart the girl was pushing alongside her. "Pretty much, except its a sponge you put inside of youself. And it cannot remain there for more than eight hours, otherwise-" she paused, picking up several shampoo bottles and body washes, as well as a pack of razors. "-You can get Toxic Shock Syndrome." The raven-haired girl nodded, taking in every word. She tossed in a purple hairbrush, as well as a vanity set and nail polishes. "What kind of dad equips their daughters room with furniture but has everything practically bare?" The redhead muttered, nodding approvingly as the girl dove into a pile of stuffed animals in the middle of the aisle.
"Fantastic! This purple dog must come, as well as this grey bear. And a cat! I want a dog. Friend Barbara, may we purchase an actual dog?" She threw the animals into the lower basket of the cart, on top of ponytails and headbands.
The girl laughed. "I wish, but Bruce would kill me if we brought a dog home. Besides, Walmart doesn't sell dogs." She turned the cart as they approached electronics. "We can blow money on this, though." The younger girls eyes lit up.
In the end, the had put in an iPad, iPhone 6, a fancy camera, and a Toshiba laptop. "His name shall be Tosh." Darian announced proudly, much to the confusion of the teenaged sales-clerk. Headphones, earbuds, chargers, and iTunes cards finished the procession. They started to head back toward the front, when the nine year old gasped. "Barbara, look.." She pointed at the sporting/hunting section. The older girl grinned. "Let's see what we can find. But first, were gonna need like a THIRD cart."
***BREAK**** (like the sixth one XD)
"I want a bow." Damian pointed at the glorious section. They, too, had gotten a boatload of necessities for his bathroom and shower, as well as electronics and toys. A wii and playstation 3 were added to the third cart. They turned the corner to run into the girls. "Hey, ladies!" Jason chortled.
"Do they sell katanas? I want matching katanas. They can have matching handles." Darian grinned wolfishly. Dick frowned. "You are NOT getting katanas. If you want something, get a few hunting knives."
"Very well."
"I shall get a bow. And a soccer ball."
***BREAK*** (why do I bother?)
The poor cashier looked rather pale. All seven grinned. Dick handed her a credit card. "T-th-thank you.." She stuttered, beginning to scan.
An hour and a half fucking hour later..
The cashier reached for the packs of gum that had appeared. The price on the computer was tallied at 3000 dollars. Darian produced the last pile from the six carts, of minecraft books, Arabic books, and other genres.
"Ok, Mr.. Wayne.." He interrupted. "Please, Grayson."
She gave him and odd look, but complied. "Mr. Grayson, your total is three thousand, seventy-five and three cents."
She swiped the card.
***BREAK**'cause I'm too lazy to finish that part
The group pushed the carts through the parking lot, headed toward Jason's hummer parked near the back. "I can't believe we dodged security like that." The second-oldest chuckled. Dick didn't exactly look happy. "Yea, but Getting caught for stealing condoms was too close. I told you to put them back, Jay!"
"I did! They just, slipped into my pocket. Besides, I got some cigarettes!" He cackled, waving a pack of the death sticks in the air.
"Idiot, those will kill you." Tim rolled his eyes. They opened the back and began stuffing bags in. Babs chuckled. "My dad already hates you, so make him madder and get caught stealing, when your suppose to stop crime. Hypocrite." She stuck her tongue out at him. "Anyways, I had a friend drop me off, mind me hitching a ride?" She grinned amiably, grabbing a pack of Hubba Bubba from a bag and stuffing a piece in her mouth. "Nah, it's like a five seater, six if you count the roof, seven if you count the back, which is stuffed." Jason offered as he and Dick stuffed the rest into the back of the Hummer, then closed the door.
"She means legally, bro. If Dami and Dari sit on laps, we should have enough room." Dick opened the driver side door. Jason blocked him. "Nuh uh, no way, no how. I drive. My hummer. MINE." Dick snatched the keys out of his hand. "Sorry, Smeagol, your drivers license is on the dining room table. I drive." The oldest bat grinned.
Jason snarled, eyeing his older brother dangerously as Babs got into the passenger seat. With a resigned glare, he sat down in the backseat. Tim sat across from him, with Damian in the middle. Darian glared at her brothers. Damian glared back. "I shall not sit on anyone's lap. You can." He turned away. The younger twin (eight freaking seconds!) pouted slightly and plopped herself down on Tim's lap.
"Honk honk! Hold on to your hats!" Dick cheered, backing up and almost rear-ending the cart area.
"Dick! Do you even have a license?!" Babs screamed as he roared out of the parking lot, making an illegal turn out of Walmart onto the highway, at about ninety mph. The younger bat-siblings put their hands in the air and screamed in glee. A stupid grin was implanted on the near-homicidal drivers face. "Not anymore! They took it away six months ago!"