hey there, i'm sorry for putting off writing my other story to type this, but brojohn is my otp and i really needed to write about it. this will only be up until i get my ao3, but i hope i get positive comments for this!
i hope you enjoy this wreck. also, if you spot any errors or typos, please point them out! my spellcheck is broken.
This was the day. The day you are going to do it. Sure you're nervous about it, but you are kind of excited as well. What could go wrong? you ask yourself.
Your name is John Egbert and you are going to visit your best bro for the summer, before you two go off to college.
Well at least you plan to. You really hope this goes well, because if it doesn't, a whole summer of embarrassment will become your future, and you sure wouldn't want that! So you pick up the phone and dial the number. You take so long to stare at the number that the phone goes back to the main screen. Crap. You dial again and force yourself to hit the call button and wow are you nervous.
Your heart literally skips a beat when somebody picks up the phone on the other line.
"Hello?"
You can't seem to get any words to come out of your mouth.
"Hello? Who's calling?"
"Hey, um, is this Dave?"
"No, this is his attractive and talented older brother." Oh. Whoops. Sorry.
"Oh, um, what's up Bro?"
"I don't know. Why don't you tell me what's up?" Crap. He's onto you.
"Oh, um I was wondering if maybe I could come over and stay a while to see Dave."
There is an uncomfortable pause. Then Bro speaks.
"See Dave, huh. You dating the kid?"
"No! I just want to actually see him or something, instead of Skype call or some shit."
"Aw shit, can't he just chill at your place?" Bro sounds tired, and you don't know why.
"He always comes here!" You say, you voice a tad bit whiny. "I just wanted to go over for a change."
"I swear, you're the same whiny little shit you were years ago. Anyway, don't you think there's a reason you're never invited here anyway?" Wow, rude.
"Uhh, well I-"
"Exactly. And now you're basically inviting yourself into our home and requesting a space to lay your dumb ass around with my stupid brother."
"Uhh,"
"Stop saying that. You sound like an idiot. How long do you plan on staying?"
"Somewhere along the lines of the entire summer."
"Wow. Do you need me to buy you a ticket?" Score!
"I already bought a ticket."
"You little shit. When does your flight get here?" You laugh and tell him.
"Alrighty then. That's four days before Dave comes back home from Vegas. See you then. Bye." Bro hangs up the phone, and you're chewing on your lip. Four days? Why the hell didn't Dave tell you he was in Vegas? It's was so unlike him, since he would really look forward to rubbing it in your face and telling you about everything he sees. Huh. You guess he has his reasons. Dave Strider always has reasons for everything. You decide to pester Rose as you had promised to do after making the promised phone call. So many promises. Promising and promising and occasionally carrying through with your promise. Life is so complicated.
You sit in front of your computer and maximize Pesterchum, immediately clicking on Rose's handle.
- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:13 -
EB: rose! i called them.
TT: ...And?
EB: he said
TT: ?
EB: something like. uhh, can you help me?
TT: He asked for your help with something?
EB: no no! i want YOU to help me with something, you flonky blond girl.
TT: John, I do not believe flonk is a word you have made up.
TT: In fact, I think it is a word that defines as a device inserted into the anuses of animals to test their ability to reproduce with animals created in labs that not yet have a true identity or official name.
EB: you are lying, rose.
TT: Am I? Look it up.
EB: i did when you were typing your dumb ass response about bestiality.
TT: That's not bestiality.
EB: rose! basically, i'm going to stay at the striders for the entire summer. i get there four days before dave gets back from vegas.
EB: did you know that dave was in vegas?
TT: Yes. There was a reason he didn't want to tell you.
EB: really?! what is it? you can tell me. we is tight girl. you can tell me anything you want.
EB: anything at all.
EB: any way you want it
TT: Don't start that, John.
EB: what about our journey moment?
TT: John. My lips are sealed. Dave made me make a sailor's promise not to tell you.
EB: A SAILOR'S PROMISE?
EB: HE MADE YOU MAKE A LEGITIMATE SAILOR'S PROMISE? :O
TT: Yes.
EB: who gives a crap and a half? it's just a made up thing anyway.
EB: tell me everything rose lalonde.
TT: How about...
TT: Nuh.
EB: fine! god dammit now i'm frustrated.
TT: You know I'd like to tell you John. I'm leaving so I won't say anything I'll regret.
EB: auuuuuuuuughghguhguhguhguhh!
TT: As barbaric as that was, and how very intimidating that sounds when I say that out loud, you will not break me, John Egbert.
TT: I'm hard to crack.
TT: You are the egg, actually.
EB: wow. that takes the cake for the worst last name pun i've ever heard in my entire life.
TT: How about this. John, I'm confused as to why you weren't born a female.
EB: huh. why?
TT: Ovaries have eggs and you do too.
TT:
EB: rose
TT: Hey, who harass the child?
EB: rose!
- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 14:23 -
You love Rose. She is basically your sister, just like Jade. Which reminds you. You click on Jade's handle and begin pestering her.
- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 14:23 -
EB: hi jade!
GG: hi john! are you enjoying being a man and all? ;P
EB: you have no idea! my dad gave me my own fedora and even though i'm never going to wear it, it feels really awesome!
You can almost hear your dad's heart break down in the kitchen.
EB: how's womanhood treating you?
GG: im enjoying the outdoors and fresh air! you should drag your lazy bum ass outside and do something for a change
EB: outdoors? outside? what are those words. i've never seen the appear on the internet...
EB: let me look them up.
GG: john! youre so lazy!
EB: sorry i'm so useless, mommy.
GG: how do you expect to get a job and make your mama proud at this rate? D:
EB: but mom, i-
GG: enough of this! i wont stand for any of this! why dont you go outside and rethink your entire life
EB: mom, i'll work hard and listen to you, and i'll be rich, famous, and i'll be fuck deep in bitches.
GG: just like mama raised you
EB: any way you want it
GG: thats the way you need it
EB: any way you want it
GG: she said any way you want it
EB: that's the way you need it
GG: any way you want it
EB: okay i've had enough. that was fun.
GG: it was :D
GG: oh and have fun at daves house!
EB: how did you know about that?
GG: rose was telling me while you were talking to her.
EB: oh, well thanks!
GG: 3
EB: 3
- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardengnostic [GG] at 14:28 -
Well now that that's settled, you decide to start packing. You know it's a bit early to be doing that, but you can't help but be a bit excited. Even though you have to spend four days with Dave's brother. You check to see if your strife specibus is on you, and you are relieved when your hammerkind is safely packed in your silladex. Bro would probably want to strife, and you can't strife without your trusty hammer!
You laugh and recall how frustrated he was with you when you were thirteen and he and Dave had visited for your birthday. You used to be such an annoying little dick thing. And you still kind of are. At least you have been told that by a few people.
You go downstairs to tell your dad the good news. He is busy making cakes as usual. The kitchen is filled the sweet aroma of baking cake, as it has smelled for the past eighteen years of your life.
"Dad!" You say, running up to him. "Dave's bro said that I can stay for the summer!" Your dad turns around from where he is standing.
"That's great, son! I just wish we could spend our last summer together. I can't believe my son's going to college."
"Dad, I'll be back! Every break and holiday I'll come back and we can bake together." Then you go up to your dad and hug him. You know you'll miss him while you're away. It just doesn't feel right when you don't wake up to the scent of baking cakes and rattle of electric mixers.
You go up to your room to kill time on the internet. There really isn't a lot you need to do before you leave, so you just kick off your pants and watch your favorite movies.
"Yes," you breathe. "This is living."
Your dad wakes you up in the morning and tells you to get your stuff ready. Instead of going straight to the airport, you two stop to have breakfast together.
"John," Your Dad says. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
"Of course I will be, Dad!" You reply. "I'm a man now."
You deal with an issue, and your dad is concerned. You experience cripplingly terrifying nightmares, if they can even be called that, when you go to sleep, and no matter what you do, it would take a miracle to wake you up. And you are pretty sure peeing on somebody elses sheets is not an okay thing to do. But you'll manage. You're a man.
You two are both in tears as you leave to board the plane, and you drown your sadness in more movies while on the plane. You don't like the movie that they're showing on the flight, so you pop a DVD into your laptop and watch that. A third of the way into the film, you begin to drift into sleep. Your dream is normal and doesn't make sense, and you thank your lucky stars don't have any trouble sleeping.
When you wake up, you can feel the plane descending. You chew on some gum so that your ears don't literally burst like a balloon, and you close your eyes because the feeling of the plane landing is making your stomach do acrobatics. You also can't contain your excitement of seeing Dave for the first time in years. You knew that this summer would be one that you would never forget.
You are now inspecting your rented car. It's black and shiny and you already love it to pieces, though you haven't driven it yet.
"Lucille will be your name." You say to yourself. Lucille. You like the sound of that. You get into your fresh smelling car and look at your Mapquest directions. Dave's apartment is only twenty minutes away from where you are. Good.
You look around at your surroundings while you drive. You are not used to being in such a huge city, and you are not used to the intense heat either. You blast the air conditioner until you feel comfortable, and then turn it off. By then, you are at the tall building that the Striders dwell in.
The slip of paper in your hand says that they live on the 24th floor, which is only three away from the top, and with your amazing luck, the elevator is out of service. You tug all of your bags up the stairs, and when you get to the right floor, you collapse onto the floor and let out a sigh. You want to sit there and recover for the rest of eternity when one of the two doors on the floor opens. It's Bro. He smirks when he sees your body in a pile in the middle of the floor. Your torso is soaked with sweat and your face is still flushed from climbing all the damned stairs.
You get up and wave to him with your elbow, and he takes two of the three bags you're carrying.
"How was the flight?" He asked as he entered the apartment.
"Quiet," You say. You stop in front of the door, and Bro sets down your bags and looks you up and down. Judging by the angle of his eyebrows you can tell he's surprised.
"Sheesh, you're taller than you were when you were a thirteen year old krill-bit." He says finally. And it's true. You're only an inch or so shorter than him.
"I know. And I see you've been working on the beard." You say, and Bro runs his fingers along his stubble.
"This is the most it's ever gonna grow. Don't want this thing to turn into a goddamned kitchen or nothin'." He pauses before looking right at you again. "So are you going to come in any time soon?"
"Bro, I'm a vampire."
"What?"
"I can't come in unless you invite me in, of course."
"Will you bite my neck and suck me dry until not a single drop of blood is left?"
"That depends." You joke. "Are you wearing shitty cologne?"
"The shittiest." He says with a smirk. You laugh. When you were younger, you used to think that Bro was lame and grumpy and weird. Maybe he still is, but you couldn't tell now.
"You know why else I'm a vampire, Bro?" You ask jokingly.
"Why?"
"I don't sleep at night," You say seriously. He can't tell whether or not you're joking so you give him a look and he gestures for you to come in.
"Make yourself at home," he says. "You can sleep in Dave's room, and his favorite towel is on the toilet seat, ready for you to wipe your ass on." You thank him and walk in, taking in the sight before you. Dave had told you many things about the Strider household, but you didn't expect them to be... True...
The floor was littered with so many puppets and wires that it was almost funny, and the walls had weird posters that made you want to cringe in horror. Some complicated looking DJ equipment was mounted on cinder blocks in the living room, and there was a futon that sat in front of a gigantic flat screened television that was mounted on the wall.
You go over to the window and look at the great city before you, as well as the great drop below you. You wonder if anyone's ever fallen from any of these buildings, and you shake your head and frown.
"Hey," Bro calls over. "If you want any food, there's a fridge in my room. Unless you need a haircut or something, stay away from the one in the kitchen." You nod in his direction. You remember Dave telling you all about this, and you remember thinking about how batshit insane Bro probably was. Your theory could finally be proven right, and you didn't quite know how to react to that.
You've seen Dave's room plenty of times when Skyping him, but seeing it in person was a lot different. It was really cool, actually, until you looked at the selfies he had hanging on a clothesline. He had told you that he had stopped taking them. Dave had lied to you. So you laugh at his photos until your stomach is a heated ball of bearable pain.
You don't see Bro pop his head in to see what you're doing.
"Enjoying yourself?" He asks, and you jump.
"Uhh, I was just-"
"I get it," Bro says with a smirk. "They're pretty damn hilarious." Bro walks over and points to a photo to your right, and you almost die right there. Dave is pantsless and posing seriously with a rubber chicken in his hand. And his face is serious as death. Bro plucks the picture from the line and hands it to you.
"Keep it," He says, and you thank him. He leaves you alone, and you lay on Dave's bed, staring at the ceiling.
"I think I'm going to like it here."