Clinic Duty
A series of stories based on the adventures of Dr. Gregory House, M.D. Some of these stories probably did happen in the show. Some might have not. This is the story of the lunacies of Clinic Duty! Dun, Dun, Dun!
Chapter 1: Dangers of Sugar
Warning: This actually was featured in the show. Parts of this story were not in the episode. I do not own House, M.D no matter how much I ask FOX for it. **** you FOX!
'Another day, another moron.' Dr. Gregory House thought as he limped into the clinic. He gathered up the charts that he was assigned for today as Dr. Cuddy stopped him. "House, you've got a patient in room 5. And let's try not to get another harassment suit because of you, ok?"
"Sure. Of course I'll lay off the idiots just for you." House said with the obvious sarcasm lacing his words. Cuddy rolled her eyes and then Dr. Wilson said, "Ten bucks that he makes this patient complain."
"There's no point in betting." Cuddy replied. "He's going to do it anyway."
Unaware of the conversation about him, he entered the exam room to find a girl and her concerned mother. "I am Dr. House and you do not have strep. So why are you here?"
The mother said, "Well, my daughter is having a birthday party and I want to get a sugarless cake."
"Mom, it's going to taste disgusting and no one's going to like that."
"So you want me to tell your daughter about the dangers of sugar. Ok well sugar causes diabetes, pink warts to spurt up from your skin, and it also causes you to grow unicorn horns."
The mother said, "Hey wait a minute…"
"Now, seeing that you both have matching bracelets and outfits. Hey, you could be twins. Only if mommy got you to fit into her outfits."
"Hey that's not…"
"Happy birthday. And get her a damn ice cream cake." House said as he slammed the door behind him.
"So, that went well." Wilson commented as House limped to the chair at the desk.
"These people today are all obsessed with outer appearances that they are willing to ruin their own birthdays." House said with contempt.
"Ahh. So that's it. The mother asked you to explain the dangers of sugar. So what was your response?" Wilson asked.
"I told her to get her a damn ice cream cake."
"Of course. The usual House response strikes again. But you can't blame the mother for being concerned."
"Yes you can."
"Why?"
"Because…"
Right as House was going to give a cynical explanation, Cuddy came over and handed house another folder. "Exam room 6."
"Great, I can't wait!" House said with another dash of obvious sarcasm.