Title: Golden
Authoress: WhenCrazyMeetsAWriter (you may call me Briana )
Disclaimer: I own a few things: my laptop, 30+ CDs, and a really cool Target gift card that I can talk into and a chipmunk talks back. I, unfortunately, do not own Bleach, Fall Out Boy, Frank Sinatra, or any of their affiliates.
Characters: Sado, very slight, some Sado/Karin, and blink-and-you'll-miss-it Rukia/Ichigo and Ishida/Orihime
Rating: PG, for some language
AN: The song 'Golden' is by Fall Out Boy, and I strongly suggest that you go to your nearest store selling CDs and pick it up. Don't buy the super deluxe version unless you want lyrics. BTW, I don't know exactly why, but Sado seems like the jazz type of person to me...!Warning! Takes place in between Soul Society and Arrancar arcs in the manga, and depressing 2 AM writing...Is it just me or is that the loneliest time of the night?
How cruel is the golden rule
When the lives we lived are only golden plated
I walk these streets at this time of night, my hoodie on and the soft jazz music playing through my headphones. People look at me funny, heading home after a long day of work or stopping by a grocery store for their families, but I don't care. It's better than the loveless home I live in now.
I know I look different than most of the people in Karakura town. I'm extremely tall and big, have dark skin, a noticeable tattoo, and structure that is not common. I'm quiet and menacing-looking, and the people around me notice that, and turn me away.
The golden rule that my abuelo always told me was, "Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Protect those you love instead of fighting for all the wrong reasons." I do that...
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me
Though I carried karats for everyone to see
The heavy, artificial and seemingly toxic glow of the streetlights bore down on me as I stopped and took a seat at a bench, my eyes closed and listening to the soothing sound of Frank Sinatra. "When I want rain, I get sunny weather / I'm just as blue as the sky / Since love is gone, can't pull myself together / Guess I'll hang my tears out to dry" My foot is absently tapping to the rhythm.
I'm really greatful for Ichigo, Ishida, Orihime and the others, for being my friends, even though I'm so quiet and different. It's not that I'm antisocial. I just... don't have anything really worth saying on my mind, I guess. It's no use saying something unless it's got some meaning to the world. Although it is amusing to listen to the others, sometimes.
That's why I'm so protective of my friends, and want to become stronger for them. I can never let them down.
'Even if they let me down...' My cynical thoughts cut through.
And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies
Mi abuelo prayed day and night, and for everything - harvests, himself, the sick, me, our home, the nation, the world... I thought he was crazy, wondering why he would pray to something that he may never see until he dies, or maybe doesn't even exist at all. But he had faith, something that most people only pretend to have. I went to church with him, the saints staring down at me and my past sins, the man carved out of wood at the front of the small, dome-like room hanging from a cross with his feet and hands nailed to the corners, a crown on his head, the blood dripping down in sacrifice. He sacrificed himself for his friends, family, and the world. I bowed my head for the first time and prayed to this invisible force.
I open my eyes and the toxic light fills them, blinding me for a brief second. I look towards the sky, seeing only the moon, the rest blinded by light and smog. That was the first and last time I prayed. The next day, mi abuelo was taken away from me.
"Sado lucha por sus amigos y por Dios." ( 1 )
Is that still true?
And all the lovers with no time for me
I can't help but think... what about me? I have my friend, but what about someone closer? Ichigo has Rukia, Ishida has Orihime.. Where do I fit in the equation? Sure, there is one girl I was looking at, but she's years younger than me! Does that make me a pervert, a pedophile? Besides, her brother could easily kick my ass if he knew I was thinking about her. I guess I'll have to wait awhile...
And all of the mothers raise their babies
To stay away from me
Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams
When the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens
I get up from my seat and keep walking, the soaring trumpet from my headphones dissapating into the night. I look idly at the apartments, and am stopped by the sight of a mother tending to her baby. She seems to be rocking back and forth, cradling the baby in her arms in front of the window.
It's times like this I wish I had a mother to show me what was right and wrong.
I had been given strength, and I didn't know how to use it, and I was steered in the wrong direction. I had no guiding force to lead me through life. I'd like to say it was my fault. It should be. But it wasn't. I'm very good at being honest with myself.
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me
Though I carried karats for everyone to see
And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies
And all the lovers with no time for me
And all of the mothers raise their babies
To stay away from me
And pray that they don't grow up to be…
I stop in front of the house, and press 'off' on my CD player, stowing my headphones in the pocket, and take my hood off. I walk into the entrance of the apartment, and take off my shoes in the empty, lightless house. They were out doing whatever they do at night again. I've never bothered to ask.
I walk into my room and lay on my bed, not undressing, and reflected on the night. The toxic streetlight glow has disappeared from the high apartment building, and the moon shines unrestrainedly. My eyes blink slowly, wishing all the burdens, weaknesses, and lonliness off of me, and close my eyes slowly to sleep.
( 1 ) - "Sado fights for his friends and for God." Gack, I couldn't help but put a little bit of Spanish in, it's such a beautiful language.
Hope you liked it!