To whoever finds this letter,
I would like to ask him/her not to throw it away, but to read it until the end.
While you're reading it, it may look like a joke or a fan fiction work, but I can assure you that it's all true.
If I'm writing this, it's because I want to make my story known and ask for help.
But let's do it in an orderly fashion.
When did my story take place?
I don't remember when it began exactly. It's been a long time since it happened.
Furthermore, I think (but mostly I hope) time flows at a different rate here…
However, I remember that everything began soon after the start of the school year.
My name is Frank Grenville. My family and I had just moved to the town of Peaceville because my father had been offered a job as a physician at the local hospital and he had taken it up.
As the name suggested, Peaceville was a small quiet town, suited for people who wanted to spend the rest of their lives in peace and quiet; but it turned out to be dreadfully boring for people who were still young and wanted to have fun.
My mother had found a job too, as she had become the new Peaceville city attorney, replacing the former city attorney who had decided to retire. Besides me, my parents have two other children: my sister, who has enrolled at the University of Maryland School of Medicine because she likes medicine and she wants to help other people; and my brother, who is in 9th grade at the local high school.
He's interested in physics and informatics. Any distinguishing marks? He can be quite a nuisance sometimes…
As for me, I'm in 11th grade, I'm interested in foreign languages and I would like to continue my studies in this domain. The transfer from my old high school to the one in Peaceville had ended well, without any major problems… without any major bureaucratic problems, that's for sure, but without any adjustment problems… not exactly. The school counselor could help, but it was up to me to resolve my problems.
I had been assigned to an average class, where there were various student types: jocks, preppies, class clowns and simple individuals… I didn't strike up friendships with anyone in particular, there weren't any negative interactions, but I was a bit annoyed when someone called me a "nerd".
I know that nowadays calling someone a "nerd" is meaningless, but I don't like being labelled as such.
I just want to get good grades at school and I like learning new things. Does this makes me a "nerd"?
But let's not digress, okay?
One day I was walking down the school hall towards my next class, when I was approached by two senior students I knew only by sight and by the rumours about them: Arnold Drake and Eric Divine.
Arnold Drake was a sturdy young man, a promising football player. His averages were unexceptional, but he had managed to get through high school thanks to his athletic prowess.
Eric Divine was of medium build, if not a bit slim. His parents were both ambassadors and even though he said that his family ties had nothing to do with his marks, I still had my doubts about it.
I had nothing in common with these two and there was no reason for me to make their acquaintance.
Still, on that day they came up to me. "Hey, Grenville! We have something to ask you!" Arnold said.
"If it's about money, then you have chosen the wrong person to ask for it. I'm a bit stingy, you know." I said nonchalantly. "Ah, ah! No, no, this is about something else!" he said smiling.
"What is it about, then?"
"We'd like you to join us for a prank!" Eric said, stepping in for the first time.
"A prank? What prank?" I asked.
"An awesome one! We will sneak into the museum at night, we will take some photos and then we will post them on the website of the high school!" Arnold said enthusiastically.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing "Couldn't you come up with something safer? Something that doesn't involve breaking the law?" "Relax! No one will notice a thing!" Arnold said in a reassuring tone.
"How do you plan to sneak into the museum, anyway? Knocking on the door?"
"I have a key…" Eric began, pulling out a standard-looking key from one of his pockets, "…which opens any lock." he continued. "A master-key" I concluded, "What about the alarms, the security cameras? How do you think you'll avoid getting caught?"
"With this key I will be able to go to the control room and disable the security cameras and the alarms" Eric replied, smiling triumphantly.
"Another question, the most important: what is this for?"
"It's for the glory, for the bravery of the gesture and…" Arnold began.
"… and for how we will make complete fools of ourselves when we are discovered!" I continued, finishing the phrase for him, "we will end up in prison, embarrassing our families in the process. We may be released soon after, but our résumés will be inevitably stained by this experience, marking the beginning of our criminal records…" "Don't be so pessimistic!" Eric commented, "The offer we're proposing to you is a chance to boost your character. You see, we could have chosen someone else, but we've chosen you. We've been watching you for a while, we find you… interesting."
"Interesting?" I asked.
"Yes, interesting. This is an offer that will have no consequences, but only benefits for you. Then, what's your choice?" Eric asked.
I needed to reflect upon that bizarre offer. They had come to me, an ordinary 17-year-old student, with an offer to boost my "character", something of no importance to me, but incredibly important to others.
Since they assured me that there would be no consequences, I could even accept, it might even be fun, except that this "prank" involved nighttime breaking and entering into a museum.
Besides, whether I liked it or not, I was aware of their plan; if I had refused to join them, they wouldn't have just let me go blabbing it all over the place. I didn't know what kind of direct or indirect ways they had of shutting me up, but I preferred not to find them out. People tend to do stupid things when they're in a panic.
I decided to accept their offer. I know, it was selfish and cowardly of me not to object, but I didn't want to get into bigger troubles, so…
"Count me in" I said, "So, when do you plan on sneaking into…"
"Tonight!" Eric said interrupting me, "Make up an excuse to tell your parents and be prepared.
We're going to meet in front of the museum at midnight. See you later!"
Having got the answer they wanted, the two schemers left. I was struck speechless by the timeliness of their plans. The other people in the corridor tried to avoid bumping into me, as I wasn't moving from where I was. Since the two senior students were still close enough to hear me, I asked, "How did you know I would accept?"
They didn't answer.
12:10 pm, Peaceville Museum
I arrived at the prearranged rendezvous on time, but now I was starting to regret being there.
I told my parents that I was going out to meet up with some friends. They were a bit surprised at the time of the meeting, but they fell for my lie (a half-truth, to be honest) and told me not to come home late; but now I was no more sure of being able to keep that promise.
I had been waiting there for ten minutes and the ones who had persuaded me to take part in their prank were nowhere to be seen…
"Wait a minute… What if this was their prank?!" I suddenly wondered.
Maybe the whole 'museum prank' was just an act and the real prank was making me wait for them like an idiot all night long, maybe even filming me! Cursing myself for having accepted that offer, I was about to leave, when someone very stupid yelled "BOO!" behind me, making me jump out of my skin.
While I was catching my breath, I heard two voices laughing and I saw that Arnold and Eric had finally shown up. "Quite jumpy, aren't we?" Arnold asked laughing. "Quite brainless, aren't we?" I retorted.
Eric was laughing too, but then he said, "Enough with the laughing. Let the quest begin!"
He went towards the doors of the museum, he pulled out the master-key from one of his pockets and he inserted it into the keyhole, opening the doors effortlessly, as if the museum were his own home.
Now that the first real obstacle was resolved, Eric entered the museum, followed by his two accomplices (one of them increasingly regretted accepting that offer).
Despite the fact that the museum seemed small on the outside, it was very spacious on the inside; there were showcases with documents and historical artifacts about the history of the city's foundation, paintings by virtually unknown artists, and so on…
Many people visited the museum, which occasionally hosted travelling exhibitions.
After Eric went to the control room and disabled the security cameras and the alarms (if this one here is not Arsène Lupin III, he bears a striking resemblance to him. I don't know what kind of job he will do in the future, but I'd prefer not to), the museum was at our disposal; nevertheless, we still had to be careful not to leave any visible traces of our presence, as well as not to break anything.
Although they had assured me that we couldn't be discovered, I was feeling anxious; maybe because I'm a fervent believer in Murphy's law, but I subconsciously knew that there would be consequences. What consequences? I didn't know, but I couldn't even imagine what was going to happen to us that night…
The three of us had been strolling through the museum for at least 45 minutes, taking photos of us near the artifacts on display, as a proof of our so-called "feat" (and as further evidence in our trials for nighttime breaking and entering into a museum).
We arrived at a wing of the museum where an exhibition was held; I had heard about it at school, but I had taken no interest in it; however, now that I was seeing it with my own eyes, I had to admit that it seemed quite interesting. The sign at the entrance of the exhibition said: "China: Facts, Mysteries and Legends" (it was a bit vague, but it was mostly made to attract visitors.
The two schemers decided to go even there; I tried to make them change their mind, but they didn't listen to me and they moved towards the exhibition, dragging me with them.
The exhibition consisted of some parchments (real ones or copies, I didn't know) on display in showcases, a touchscreen kiosk and some hanging scrolls which were yellow with age and the ink of the Chinese characters was mostly faded. Since that wing was the last part of the museum to visit, I tried to urge Arnold and Eric to get a move on, "Guys, in case you shouldn't know, it's already 12:57 pm! I don't want to end up sleeping in class tomorrow, so why don't we just get…" "Hey, Grenville! Look here!" Arnold said, interrupting me and pointing at the objects on display in a showcase.
At first I couldn't distinguish what he was pointing at, I thought that they were simply decorative objects, but as soon as I got closer to the showcase, I realized that those objects were in fact masks.
They were many-coloured and I think that the brightness of the colours was due to a recent restoration; some masks showed little cracks on them, though; a sign of the wear and tear of time.
Some were easily recognizable, as they portrayed well-known characters, like the emperor, a warrior, a deity or a mythological being; others were more difficult to recognize.
The two senior students were pointing at two masks in particular: one was very large, grey, covered with brown spots and with golden circles around the eyeholes; there were black lines near the forehead and on the cheeks, those on the cheeks were oblique and parallel and they looked like a pair of moustaches.
The other one was smaller but not less showy; it was white, turning into grey near the nose and the mouth, tapering, with black and red circles around the eyeholes.
They didn't seem to portray any particular characters, but rather… animals…
The large mask portrayed a sort of large feline, as I realized that that pair of moustaches was in fact a pair of whiskers, while the smaller mask was a bird mask, as the nose and the mouth were elongated and formed a beak. "So, do you want me to take a photo of you near these masks?" I asked.
"No." Eric replied, "We want you to take a photo of us… wearing these masks!" he said smiling.
"WHAT?! Are you crazy? These masks must be 800, 900 years old and you want to wear them? And if some splinters lodge in your faces? You'll get blood, pain and an infection!
"Relax, Grenville! As Eric told you before, these photos will be posted on the website of the high school, which can be viewed only by its members." Arnold said, "Changing the subject, are you sure you don't want to wear a mask?" he asked. "No, thanks. I don't feel the need to conceal my face. I might reconsider this option when I am on the run from the police" I replied flatly.
"Don't you think that's a bit of an exaggeration? If you don't want to wear a mask, then make yourself useful.
Take a photo of us!" the football player said. He took the large feline mask, while Eric chose the bird mask.
After wearing the masks, they struck a pose, smiling at the camera.
A little click and the last photo of that evening was taken. "Done. Now take off those masks and put them back!" "Chill out, Grenville! What could possibly go wr…" he stopped in mid-sentence.
He began touching both sides of his face, as if there was a problem with the mask. Eric began doing the same thing too. "You have chosen the wrong moment to pull a prank on me. Hurry up and take them off!" I said a bit annoyed. "I'm trying, but this mask just won't come off! It's like it's stuck on my face!" Arnold said, the tone of his voice becoming more acute.
I was starting to get irritated, so I snapped, "If this is a joke, it's far from being funny! Cut it out!"
"This… this is no joke! Please, do something! Help us! HELP UUUUUUUS!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He couldn't say any other words because he started to emit groans and stifled cries, followed by Eric.
Now I was really scared. They weren't joking, they were really in pain! But how was it possible? Masks don't latch on faces, or at least not so painfully. What was it then? Allergic reaction? No, no, of course not!
There was no rational explanation I could find for what was happening.
"That's it!" I thought. I made up my mind I was going to call for help! To hell with the trial for nighttime breaking and entering into a museum! I didn't want to be charged with double murder too!
I was about to call 911, but then I noticed something eerie…
Now the masks were somehow fused to their faces… As I said before, there was no rational explanation, and sure enough something unbelievable was happening…
The two unlucky students threw themselves down, as they began to writhe in pain, experiencing several spasms all over their bodies, as if a cruel puppeteer was controlling them (I'm digressing, sorry…).
I stepped back from them and I hid behind a pillar to watch…
I should have done something instead of simply hiding like a coward, but I didn't…
What drove me to act like this? I don't know… Fear? Maybe. The fascination of watching a terrible, yet sublime event? Yes… After some seconds, it happened: they began to change…
Arnold's body started to expand, his muscles increased in size, the sound of popping joints and cracking bones filled the air; it was sickening… His waist became leaner and more muscular; his clothes, unable to contain the changes his body was undergoing, were ripped to shreds and they ended up on the floor.
His limbs readjusted to his new form, his hands and feet were now composed of four fingers, taking the form of paws. His body changed colour, as thick, gray fur speckled with brown spots entirely covered his skin.
A long riiiiiip was heard and a long, fluffy gray tail erupted from his backside.
His face changed too: it expanded outwards and turned into a muzzle; thick, white fur grew near his mouth and on his cheeks, from where a pair of long, black whiskers sprouted.
His nose flattened and became brown, his teeth grew longer and sharper, turning into fangs.
His eyes changed colour, turning from brown to gold. His ears became black and pointed and they shifted towards the top of his head.
If Arnold's body expanded, Eric's shrank. His complexion turned incredibly pale, then his skin started to flake away, only to be replaced soon after by white plumage, which covered his entire body.
His fingers became more tapering, his hands lengthened, turning into wings; his feet got smaller and the number of his toes decreased: now each foot had three front toes and one back toe, all of them culminating in sharp talons. A large, fan-shaped tail emerged from his backside, tearing his trousers to shreds.
His neck stretched, his head shrank, his mouth and nose fused together and pushed outwards, forming a gray beak. His eyes turned red and black circles formed around them; the transformation came to an end when a fan-shaped crest sprouted from the back of his head.
Their voices changed too during the transformation, becoming less human in the process. Arnold's voice became more guttural and growls started coming out of his throat, while Eric's voice turned shrill, sounding more like a bird screech as his human appearance faded away. In spite of the fact that they were now turned into animals, some human traits remained in their new looks.
Arnold had become an anthropomorphic snow leopard, while Eric had changed into an anthropomorphic peacock; the situation itself was already incredible, but what made it even more absurd was the fact that I had already seen that snow leopard and that peacock before, but I never thought I'd see them in person chiefly because I thought it was impossible!
That snow leopard and that peacock were Tai Lung and Lord Shen, the main villains of the first two Kung Fu Panda movies. I couldn't believe my eyes. Two characters I considered to be completely fictional were now standing a few metres from me. It is thought that things like this usually don't happen in real life, or at least they shouldn't happen if you see worlds as distinct and separate. Unfortunately, life is full of misconceptions…
The clothes that had been torn to pieces during the transformations were replaced with other clothes that were more suitable for their new anatomical structures: Tai Lung was wearing purple pants and a brown sash, while Lord Shen was wearing a white robe with a black belt.
Silence lingered in the air for a while, then…
"FINALLY!" the white peacock hollered, "After years and years of waiting, our patience has been rewarded!" he paused, "While you," he said, angrily pointing a feather at the snow leopard, "you thought that our efforts were only a waste of time!" "Hmph!" Tai Lung snorted, "You know that I never believed in supernatural things… until now!" he added, "Considering the results that our wait has produced, I'm glad I was wrong for once!" he said smirking.
"Good. Now our plans may finally commence, just as 'He' had foretold!" Shen said.
"What about the other one?" Tai Lung asked.
My ears perked up.
"Who?" Shen asked.
"The third boy." the snow leopard explained.
"Crap! They've already detected me!" I cursed.
"Bring him here." Shen ordered.
I was already running away when he gave that command. I ran as fast as I could through the halls of the museum, trying to avoid tripping and falling. Too bad I'm not exactly the athletic type.
I was short of breath when I reached the main entryway of the museum. All I had to do was cross the doors and leave as quickly as possible. I was about to do so, when I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned round.
I know, that was a stupid thing to do. When we see this scene in movies or in books, we would like to do something, maybe even shouting to the characters, but it rarely helps.
The most you can achieve by shouting to the characters is a scolding from the other people surrounding you; therefore it would be advisable to do such a thing in a secluded place.
If you let me explain, I can assure you I had the most valid reasons to act this way: firstly, Reason had abandoned me since I started running away; secondly, my Common Sense was busy taking a nap; thirdly, my Intuition was looking the other way. As for my Instincts… well, to be honest, I'm not on good terms with them, I seldom follow them…
Anyway, I turned round and I found Tai Lung standing right in front of me; a satisfied grin spread over his muzzle as he looked at me, knowing that he had caught me.
"Hi!" I blurted out quite stupidly, "I'd really like to stay here to chat, but I'm having a test tomorrow, so I'd better go home right know if I want to sleep a little. Bye!" I said, naively thinking that I could get away so easily.
Tai Lung quickly caught hold of me: he grabbed me by the neck with one paw and he held me in mid-air; his grip was incredibly strong, but I tried not to black out, despite gasping for air.
"I'm afraid you won't go anywhere." he said, "Lord Shen would like to have a few words with you."
"May I refuse your invitation?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
Tai Lung smiled deviously, "If you refuse to come, something bad will likely happen to you. You have no place to run, you don't pose a threat. There's nothing you can do against me, the Dragon Warrior!" he vehemently added.
"… says the one who was defeated by the 'real' Dragon Warrior…"
I admit it, sometimes I do have to shut up. Tai Lung responded to my comment by increasing his grip around my neck. Those moments were terrible! I thought I was going to die! I could have died either from strangulation or from broken neck, not to mention the fact that the paw that was holding me also had claws pressing against my throat!
"You should watch your tongue, human. Lord Shen asked me to bring you to him unharmed, but I can't promise that I won't hurt you if you anger me. Do we understand each other?" he asked, pulling me closer to his face and looking straight into my eyes. I was close enough to feel his warm breath on my neck. Chilling… I immediately nodded, hoping that he would lessen his grip.
"Good." the Kung Fu Master said and he released me. I fell on the floor, landing on my bottom. Not exactly a pleasant experience, but still better than being dead, right?
"Follow me." the self-appointed Dragon Warrior ordered, before moving to the place where his accomplice was waiting. I obeyed, not having any other options.
When I arrived at the wing of the museum, I saw the white peacock pacing back and forth impatiently. As soon as he saw me, he stopped. "Well, well, it seems our helper has come back!" he commented smiling.
"Helper? What do you mean by 'helper'? What did I do to help you, to be precise?" I asked, a bit perplexed about my role in this series of events. "If it hadn't been for you and your friends, we wouldn't have been able to come back to life!" the peacock said.
"What have you done to my friends?" I asked, although they were simply schoolmates, but specifying the kind of relationship between me, Arnold and Eric was the least of my worries at that moment.
"We've taken over their bodies." Tai Lung answered, "Don't worry about them, they still exist. Their bodies are serving as vessels for us, their souls have just been… cast aside." he continued, folding his arms in an arrogant way.
"Weren't you two defeated by Po?" I casually asked them.
The facial muscles of the two villains tensed up as they heard the name of their nemesis. "We were indeed defeated by that… panda!" Shen answered, spitting out the last word as if it were something loathsome.
"When we died, we were reduced to spirits, doomed to wander our world forever, without being seen nor heard, without the possibility of rest, as a punishment for the actions we committed.
But then, as we were starting to accept our fates, 'He' appeared to us and proposed a deal: 'He' offered us the opportunity to come back to life and reach our goals in exchange for our souls and the promise to serve 'Him' forever. We accepted. It was a small price to pay in order to have our revenge!" he exclaimed, his eyes widening. "Creepy…" I thought.
"'He' knew that sooner or later some would come and that the masks we were bound to would be worn, ensuring our return to the living world!" the former Lord of Gongmen City said triumphantly.
"Who's 'He'?" I asked, not having a clue about the identity of the one who devised such a plan.
"You're not supposed to know who 'He' is." Tai lung said dryly.
"Now that we're alive and powerful again, no one shall stop us! We shall regain possession of what is rightfully ours, the entire China shall learn to bow before us, but most of all, we will finally succeed in crushing that panda!" Shen continued, clenching his right wing into a fist to emphasize his intention.
"If you've managed to come back to life by using my friends' bodies as vessels, what do you want from me then?" I asked. "We cannot simply let you go. After all, you've witnessed our revival." Shen said, coming closer to me, "We can't allow you to reveal our return to others. It would be an unacceptable nuisance."
"Do you want to kill me?" I asked, as I preferred to get to the point and know what would happen to me.
"Kill you? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! No, no, it would be too simple and completely pointless.
Instead, I think you will be more useful alive, as our servant for the rest of your life!" he said, enjoying the fear in my eyes. "And what if I refuse to be your servant?" I dared to ask.
I suddenly felt something cold and sharp pressing against my throat: Shen was holding a blade against my neck; a persuasive way to motivate someone to act wisely. "Don't push your luck, human.
You've been given a chance to survive. Don't waste it." the white peacock said, staring me down.
Nobody likes to be stared at by other people because their glances are hard to stand; Lord Shen's stare wasn't simply "nasty": it was terrifying! He reminded me of Madara Uchiha, and this parallel wasn't reassuring at all! While the banished Lord was threatening me, he extended his tail erect, displaying the red eyespots on it; I felt like I was being watched: they looked like many eyes that were looking at me, or like many targets that were standing in front of me, waiting to be hit…
No, wait a minute, only the first simile actually makes sense…
Although becoming one's servant for the rest of my life didn't appear to be tempting, I had to keep calm and make sure I didn't make reckless moves. If I refused to be their servant, I would be killed on the spot and they would go on with their plans for world domination, without any chance of being stopped.
Moreover, who said that they would stop after conquering their world?
If they had managed to reach my world, they could probably go to other worlds, extending their dominion and gaining more and more power in the process, right?
If I accepted, I would have the chance to do something; it was a small chance, but still a chance.
"I will…" I paused, "… be your servant for the rest of my life." I said with a gulp.
"Perfect." Lord Shen said smiling and he pulled his blade away from my throat, "Now that this formality has been taken care of, we can finally go back to our world!"
"How do you plan to do that, anyway?" I asked.
Tai Lung, who had been silent until then and had let Shen do the talking, stepped in chuckling, "Just watch!"
He then clenched both his fists. A sort of black energy began flowing from the rest of his body to his fists. "Dark Chi…" I breathed.
After a few seconds the feline Kung Fu Master cupped his paws together and brought them forward, launching a sphere of black chi.
The sphere of dark energy floated onward, only to turn into a swirling portal soon after.
I stared at the portal in awe. Apparently, Tai Lung and Lord Shen were given additional powers when they accepted the deal from "Him"; a way to make sure that they didn't run into obstacles.
As the two Kung Fu Masters proceeded towards the swirling portal, with me following behind, I thought over the events that had led to all this. I couldn't blame myself, there was no way I could have predicted that such a thing would happen. I couldn't get away from this situation: even if I had succeeded in escaping from those two villains, what would I have done afterwards? No one would have believed me… well, no one apart from gullible young children, psychically unstable people and people who could travel through different worlds. Unfortunately, those who belonged to the first two categories wouldn't have been of much help; as to the third category, I don't think I would have been lucky enough to actually find a professional 'multi-world traveller'. The only thing I regretted was that I couldn't say goodbye to my loved ones, or at least leave a note; I was forced to go with them immediately.
Nevertheless, I'm not going to give up.
Somehow, I will stop them, and if I can't do it by myself, I will find someone who can help me; I will get my schoolmates back to normal and I will return with them to my world!
Now, in this dim cell, I'm writing the story of my adventure, as I don't want to forget and resign myself to my fate. If you find this letter and read it until this point, I hope you will do something to help me, and if you can't, I'd like you to call someone for help.
I wish good luck to whoever decides to help me.
With all due respect,
Frank Grenville
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock
Your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, c… hey!
Why am I singing this?
Who's making me sing this?!
IS THERE ANYBODY HERE?!
Author's notes:
I don't own Kung Fu Panda; it belongs to Dreamworks Animation.
I do own the OCs in this story: Frank Grenville, Arnold Drake and Eric Divine.
Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
The song at the end of the story is "Peacock" by Katy Perry.
I would like to thank LandoftheFuture for giving me the inspiration for this story.
This story is officially complete, but if you want to write a continuation of it, I'll give my support to you.
If you ask me, a crossover would be appropriate…
(My suggestions: One Piece or Katekyo Hitman Reborn!)
Anyway, if you have some ideas, please contact me, so we can discuss them!