-1It seemed a normal day for the HP gang. Believe it or not, the normalism stopped as soon as I started narrating this. It's not every day you have a sarcastic narrator on your side. It's not every day a sarcastic narrator narrates a Mary-Sue story, how dumb could the author be? No matters, I'm being told to narrate this or get lost. Money or the streets? MONEY!
Let's see, our story starts on a warm and sunny day at Kings Cross Station, in London. As beautiful as it sounds, let me tell you, it's not. A girl runs through the magical barrier separating the freaks from the freaks. I'm not a nice narrator, God! This girl is true beauty! Why did I have to say that? That is the most depressing, stuck-up line ever! She doesn't underline true beauty! She just seems beautiful! God, stupid author!
As the author tells me, this girl is true beauty. Her long, shimmering blonde hair cascades neatly down her back. Her sea-blue eyes sparkle in the non-existent sunlight. Her slim body and extra large breasts attract boys attention from everywhere. Her complexion is gorgeous; not a spot, freckle or wrinkle or upper-lip hair in sight. And her smile, well, what can I say? It's one in a million!
Bleh, that was horrible, cut, cut, cut! Damn, stupid author, making me say this BEEP! BEEP!
Sorry about the French, there, kids. Now, back to the story.
Yes, this girl was perfect. Everything about her was perfect. Her silk clothing was perfect, her hair was perfect, everything was perfect.
But, I'm actually glad to say, this girls story isn't perfect. Yay! Tragicness for all!
You see, this girl has no parents. She grew up in an orphanage, with no friends, just to work all day. Everyone made fun of her because of her extraordinarily long name.
Anyway, after that heartfelt moment, we return to the present. Well, you don't, I do, because I'm narrating this. You just follow, nodding your head once in a while to show that your slightly interested, when your not.
Our heroine walked cautiously down the corridor of the Hogwarts Express. She was so pleased to be going to Hogwarts, maybe she could make new friends. Maybe there was a chance that someone had a name like hers, just possibly?
Meh, who are we kidding? No one's like her!
Our nameless saviour couldn't find anywhere to sit, so she knocked on the nearest door.
"Hello, I was wondering if I could sit here? I'm really sorry to bother you, but there's nowhere else to go!" Heroine/Saviour said in her sweet, angelic voice. That makes me cringe.
"Of course, we don't mind! Come in, I'll take your stuff." said an unsuspecting Hermione Granger. "What's your name?"
Heroine sat down, her silk dress making a rustling noise.
"My name is Anidori Blythe Christayna Delilah Evangeline Faith Gamila Honoura Iona Joslyn Katriana Leonora Marianna Nicoline Ophelia Querida Rosamunde Sesora Tabitha Udaya Verity Xaline Yonora Zelda Dumbledore Snape Lupin Black Pettigrew Prewett Lestrange Weasley Parkinson Zabini Patil Chang Bones McGonagall Umbridge Longbottom Lovegood Fudge Riddle." Whatever finished with a sigh. What the hell? Who wants THAT type of name? No wonder the kids at the orphanage picked on her! Ha, ha!
"Wow, your name is sooo beautiful," Harry Potter said, with a sigh of longing. "If only I had a name as perfect as yours!"
"Oh, thank you so much, you guys are the best!" Anidori said, smiling her beautiful smile. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger all felt graced as Anidori Riddle sat with them.
After a while, there was a knock at the door. Draco Malfoy, who appeared as though he had just been kissing a girl, appeared in the doorway. Although, let me tell you, he wasn't kissing a girl. Or a man. Or a genderless person. He just wasn't kissing at all, okay? Because, as far as Canon goes, he was no man whore!
"Ahh, who have we here? Pot-head, Weasel, Mudblood and … the American exchange student. Interesting," Draco said, "but you are definitely sitting with the wrong people. I can assist you there." He took Anidori's hand and kissed it gently, as though it was made of glass. "come with me, my dear."
EUGH! She has MALFOY COOTIES! EUGH!
Not cool.
"Oh, Draco! I love you!" Anidori said.
"Oh, Anidori, I love you too!"
"No! Wait!" Lucius Malfoy jamp out of NOWHERE(!) and proceeded to explain that Anidori and Draco were TWINS!
Yes, twin sisters. Because Malfoy Jr. Is a female. It has been clear from the start, of course.
Anyway, to end the story, Anidori married Harry, but after saving the world from Voldemort, of course, because she was his long-lost daughter who had been blessed with powers (invisibility, mind-reading, extraordinary strength, the ability to flick her hand and produce sparks, and generally being a pain in my ass. She can also control all four elements with her ear. She just yanks it a bit and all of a sudden, water appears and everyone gets soaked so she uses her wind power to dry everyone up and then fire power to heat everyone up and then earth to create a large mound to protect them from Death Eaters and everything that is not nice in the world.)
She was born with perfect control over these powers and she could also fly without a broomstick. Because, well, she's fantasmical, didn't you know?
All Harridori's 17 children were all blessed with magical-ness apart from one, Albus Severus. Anidori didn't like him. Harry did. Anidori fought Harry to the death, and, of course, won, because she is 'well more magical than you could ever be.'
Anidori decided, that because she had just killed her soul mate (they could speak telepathically, so on) she would repay him by looking after Albus. Using Harry's fortune, she sent him to the most expensive 'Home for the Special' in the world. All the other 16 children were glad, because that meant that they didn't have to include the stupid one in their game of 'Save the World Fo' Real.'
Albus was always the bad guy.
________________
And so ends another fan fic. Be glad that I'm even updating anything just now.