Decision
I'd fooled myself into thinking that this would make things easier. I truly believed that I'd come back to find her happy. That her sleeping face would be the final reassurance I needed to make me realise that I'd done the right thing. I expected to see her in a restful, deep sleep. To be able to hide in the shadows and listen to her subconscious mutterings, so why did it come as such a surprise to me when I climbed through her window and saw that she was not in the condition I expected? Her face was not peaceful; it was turned into a grimace. Her forehead creased between her eyes and her cheeks were a deathly white. She didn't lie there, perfectly still as she used to on the nights we shared together. Instead, she thrashed, her arms reaching into nothingness, yet still trying to grasp. I stood above her bed and listened as the sobs racked through her chest unwillingly, even in sleep she was too afraid to show how much it hurt. Had I done this? Was this pain- I chocked on that word -my fault? Had my leaving caused her this much grief? I'd been gone for six months now so surely it was not me causing this. Time healed all wounds for humans, people like Bella...Ah, people like Bella. Isabella Swan was like no human I had ever met. The pain came over me like wave, crashing against my body with a heaving force so strong that I felt the breath leave me. My hand reached out to touch her face. I recoiled. I couldn't risk waking her.
"One night, Edward." Not anymore. I could not bring myself to leave her again. I would hide in her shadow every day, every night, until I was sure that she was really okay. My resolve was not that strong, had never been that strong. I turned towards the window and as I did she whispered my name.
"Edward" I stood, as frozen as the ice I imitated. Had she seen me? Then, she screamed. Her body bolt upright as she shook with the tears.
I couldn't have done this, not to the one I loved…I bounded out of the window and headed towards the dark forest, the blackness something I knew only too well now. It symbolised me. My black heart and its silence. I ran, until I could feel nothing but the wind in my hair yet, that scream still surrounded me like I was stood there still, in her room.
I would fix this…
She needed me just as much as I needed her. I was an idiot to think otherwise.
Isabella Swan was like no human I had ever met.