Ryonan's Slambook
By coolpriss
coolpriss: (adjusts her tinted glasses and takes a deep breath) This is it . . .
*The school building towers high in front of her and the Japanese characters meaning "Ryonan High School" gleams brightly.*
cp: (takes a shaky step into Ryonan territory) Could they see that I'm an intruder? No . . they couldn't possibly know . . . I'm wearing a Ryonan High uniform I stole from my neighbor so . . . ehe he he . . . (walks confidently then stops suddenly as a girl screams behind her)
girl: Aaaaahhhhhh!!!! You! You! You! (points angrily at cp)
cp: (panics, and looks from left to right trying to find an escape)
girl: You're stepping on Sendoh-chan's picture! Take your filthy shoes off my Sendoh-chan's beautiful face!
cp: (looks confused then looks at her feet which was directly above Sendoh's picture) Eh he he he . . . Gomen nasai! (sweatdrops while bowing then mutters with an eyebrow raised) Sendoh-chan?
girl: (crying while rubbing her cheeks on Sendoh's picture) My poor Sendoh-chan! Oh your beautiful face . . .
cp: (quietly tiptoes away then sighs when finally out of sight) That was close! (grins evilly) I'm gonna make millions! Bwahahahaha!!! (turns around and bumps into somebody) Hey, watch it!
Hikoichi: Sumimasen! (then stares at cp) Eh?
cp: (eyes widened, adjusts her sunglasses then clears her throat, trying to walk away) Eh he he . . . Da-daiijobou . . . Eh he he . . .
Hiko: (finally recognizes cp) Yaaaaahhhhh!!!! (points at cp) You!
Koshino: Oi! Hikoichi! What are you doing there? (looks at Hiko then at cp then back) Go talk to your girlfriend later. We have practice!
Hiko and cp: (heads extremely huge with crosses) IIE!!!
Kosh: (covers his ears with his hands with hair all standing up)
cp: He is NOT my boyfriend! (scowls at Hiko)
Hiko: And SHE is NOT my girlfriend! (scowls back at cp)
Kosh: (crossed) Fine! Whatever! (walks inside the gym)
cp: (suddenly remembers what she was there for) Mate kudesai, Koshino-san! (hurries after Kosh)
Hiko: (suddenly realizes cp's plans) Iie! (stands between cp and Kosh with hands outstretched) You're NOT gonna make money off my team, coolpriss-chan!
cp: (glares) And why not? Get out of the way!
Kosh: (one brow raised) Nanda yo?
Hiko: (hands still stretched, shakes his head) Don't go near her, Koshino-san! She's dangerous!
cp: (huge cross) Nani?!
Uozomi: What's going on here? Get inside and practice!
Hiko: (hurries to Uozomi) Uozomi-san, don't ---
cp: (elbows Hiko out of her way) Uozomi-sempai!
Uoz: (looks at Hiko's face that was flat on the ground with his legs and feet shaking in the air and sweatdrops) Nani?
cp: (presents the notebook in front of Uoz and bows) Please sign in my autograph book, onegai shimazu! It'll only take a minute and it would make me and a lot of people very happy. (then whispers beside him) You've got a lot of fans, y'know! (elbows Uoz playfully)
Uoz and Kosh: (sweatdrops)
Hiko: I told you she's dangerous! Don't listen to her, Uozomi-san!
Uoz: (starts walking away) I don't have time for that.
cp: (desperate) Akagi and the rest of Shohoku signed in here too, y'know . . .
Uoz: (stops and looks back) Akagi?
cp: (grins with teeth sparkling) Hai. Akagi Takenori.
Uoz: (goes back to cp) Where? Let me see!
cp: (hugs her slambook and shakes her head) Uh-uh. You have to sign first.
Hiko: (shakes his head) Don't, Uozomi-san! Don't!
cp: (waving the notebook temptingly) Shohoku has signed in here . . . I just might head over to Kainan and let them sign too . . . would the great Ryonan High want to be left behind . . .
Uoz: (looks at cp and sees a banana instead of the slambook, then at Hiko and sees instead a monkey screeching and jumping up and down. Looks back at cp and grabs the banana . . . er, slambook) Okay. For the sake of Ryonan's reputation, I'll sign!
Hiko: (waterfall tears) No . . . it's the end of the world . . . Uozomi-san . . .
cp: (eyes wide with glee with hands on her waist) Bwahahaha!! (fire burns behind her which causes Hiko to cry all the more)
Kosh: (sweatdrops) What's going on? What about our practice?
Name: Uozomi Jun
Nickname: Big Jun ---
Sakuragi: BOZUZARU! Nyahahaha!
cp: (half-lidded) What are you doing here?
Saku: (puffs out his chest) This tensai's on an important secret mission! Nyahahaha!
minna: (sweatdrops)
Kosh: Nani?
Hiko: I knew it! Wherever coolpriss-chan is, there's bound to be destruction! (points at Saku) He's here to spy on us!
cp and Saku: NANI?! (both starts to pinch each of Hiko's cheeks)
Kosh: Ne, Uozomi-san, why don't you finish that so we could start our practice?
School: Ryonan High
Hobbies: cooking
Saku: (thoughtful) But how many dishes could there be for bananas? I thought Boss-monkeys eat them raw . . . at least Gori does, so . . .
Akagi and Uoz: (slams their fist on Saku's skull)
Saku: (rubs the double bumps on his head) Why'd you do that for, Gori?!
Gori: Baka! You're here to make sure coolpriss doesn't show our entries to anybody, not to badmouth me!
cp: (sweatdrops) They really don't trust me . . . Anyhoo, Uozomi-san, the sooner you finish that the sooner we could leave you guys too, so . . .
Sports: Basketball
Best friend: Ikegami Ryoji
cp: (whispers to audience) Remember when Uozomi decided to withdraw from the Ryonan team? Ikegami decided he didn't want to play anymore either . . . aww, how sweet . . .
Motto: "I'll beat you, Akagi!"
Gori: Dream on, Uozomi!
Uoz: Akagi! (glares at each other)
Saku: (grins) Gori vs Bozuzaru! Monkey fight!!
Gori and Uoz: Shut up!
Describe yourself: strong, big, a match for Akagi!
Gori: But you can never defeat me, Uozomi!
Uoz: That's what you think!
Gori: How about we find out now?!
Uoz: One-on-one, Akagi!
cp: (looking from one monkey to the other) Iie, joute mate! Finish your entry first, Uozumi-san!
First love: Basketball!
Saku: (looks from Gori to Uoz) Are you sure you two aren't related . . . Ooh, right, both of you are huge monkeys and I suppose no one wants to date ugly, over-sized monkeys so . . . (snickers)
Gori and Uoz: What are you talking about?! Baka!!
Greatest dream: To bring Ryonan to the Inter-high! To become a chef.
Saku: Too bad, Bozuzaru! We are the ones going to the Inter-high and not you! So if I were you, I'll stick to being a chef! Nyahahaha!
Gori: (punches Saku on the head) Baka! You didn't have to rub it in!
*minna turns to look at Uoz whose eyes were hidden in the shadows . . .
Saku: (pokes Uoz) Oi. Bozuzaru. Oi!
Sendoh: That doesn't mean the end of basketball for Uozomi. In fact, he still plays with us sometimes at practices, ne, Uozomi? (flashes his killer smile)
cp: (turns beet red with eyes of hearts) Sendoh-kun . . . (falls over Hiko)
Hiko: (gets stuck under cp) Yaaaaaahhhh! Coolpriss-chan! Wake up! You're heavy! Oi, coolpriss-chan! Help!
Uoz: That's right. I'm not gonna stop until I beat you, Akagi! (points at Akagi)
Gori: (grins) That will never happen, Uozomi!
Sen: (shrugs, grinning) Aa. So, can we start practicing now? (walks over to the gym)
Kosh: (walks with Sen) Well, you were the one who was late . . .
Sen: (scratches the back of his head) You're right. (laughs)
Hiko: (cries, reaching out to them) Hey, wait! Sendoh-san! Koshino-san! Help me!
cp: (still lying over Hiko and still heart-eyed) Sendoh-kun . . . he smiled . . . at me . . . Sendoh-kun . . .
Saku: (squats behind them) Hn. What should I do?
Hiko: Sakuragi-san! Help me, onegai shimazu!
Uoz: Do you want to take on the challenge now, Akagi?
Gori: What are you talking about? I was the one who challenged you!
Uoz: Fine! We'll see who's better!
Saku: (grins mischievously) Looks like this is more fun! Monkey fight!!! (leaves crying Hiko behind)
Hiko: (waterfall tears) Iie! Sakuragi-san! Help me, onegai! I knew coolpriss-chan only brings disasters! HELP!!!!
*to be continued . . . that is, if you want me to . . .