Author's notes: Just a series of short first person POV vignettes that deal with my latest 'shipperdom. It can be a continuation of Untitled 58 and Untitled 59, or it can be read by itself. Think you guys can figure out who each person is? ;)
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Part One
A second chance / Come to pass / Take a leap / If you dare / If you can / Catch your breath*
I answer the phone automatically, not even bothering to check for caller ID.
'Chris.' The voice is soft, a little guarded, but not the least bit accusatory. She is indeed a changed woman, and a part of me is saddened. She has a new life, one that doesn't include me.
'What do you want, Stephanie?' I ask, my voice sounding harsher than I intended.
'I thought we could talk,' she replies, her tone not changing. 'Maybe about what happened between us.'
I almost laugh out loud. 'Us? When did this us happen, Stephanie? When we became business partners?'
She is silent for a moment. 'I thought we had become friends.'
I couldn't deny her that. We had forged a friendship during our business partnership, and beyond. When she had been forced out of the company, I had called her and visited her numerous times to make sure that she was okay. Our bond grew…as had my feelings. She hadn't known, and slowly the calls and the visits gradually faded. I hated being so close to her, yet not able to touch her. At her ex-husband's rejection she had built a wall around herself that I found myself unable to get around, over, or through. We lost contact, and I had been as stunned as anyone at the announcement of her new position as the General Manager. I hadn't been prepared for the happiness that I felt at her return.
Nor how much it had hurt when she declined to hug me, or when I saw the way she and him had looked at each other. Those secret, knowing smiles that passed between them as he pledged to her his intentions to remain by her side.
'It wasn't anything personal,' I lie.
'Chris…' She trails off, and I know that she is struggling for words, struggling to understand. 'I'm more disappointed than angry.'
It does hurt. I wish she would get angry, that she would yell and scream at me, feel betrayed by my actions. But she is only…disappointed. It is me who is suddenly angry, but I refuse to let her realise how much she affects me. 'It's just business, Stephanie. You know how it is.'
'Why did you do it, Chris? Was it the pay?' she asks, and there is genuine confusion in her voice. 'I wish you had talked to me about it. Maybe there was a way I could have fixed things so that you had stayed.'
Telling her the truth would mean vocally admitting feelings that I continually force myself to push away, to believe that are nonexistent. Yet I find myself wanting to hurt her back for making me feel emotions that I wish never to experience again.
'How about not having come back?' I suggest. The bitterness in my tone catches even me by surprise. It is not after the words leave my mouth that I appreciate how valid they truly are.
'I didn't realise you felt that way,' she says, and finally there is a tightness in her voice that reveal I have hit a nerve.
'Now you do,' I say coldly. I hang up without waiting for her reply.